…He NEVER attempts to discourage me from practicing my Catholic faith openly and freely. I just wish I had him to practice my faith with. He is protestant, but isn’t very devout. I feel like I’m practicing my faith all alone. I have no catholic family, no catholic children, and very few friends let alone catholic ones.
I am NOT blaming Holy Mother Church for my mixed faith marriage, but I do question her “allowing” these marriages to take place when they time and time again have proven so difficult. I’m not sure why She doesn’t just say “no” to them all together. I do struggle with trying to figure that out. Rather than require a dispensation, it should just not be allowed in my opinion.
I thank you all for your advice and really do like Elisabeth Liseur. (spelling?) With her infertility, her husband’s anger/temper problems, and her husband’s lack of faith it bears an uncanny resemblance to our situation.
I beg for continued prayers and support as I carry my heavy crosses of marriage troubles, infertility, mental illness, and so many family deaths within the past five years, including my dear mother, who was like a best friend to me.
Thank you all again!
The Church doesn’t say “no” because sometimes mixed marriages work quite well. For instance, my husband’s cousin, (non-Catholic married to a Catholic) attended Mass so faithfully that he was asked if he’d serve on the parish council! Nobody noticed that he never received Holy Communion! In my own case, I cannot think of a Catholic man I dated who would have supported my faith better than my husband does.
I think Elisabeth Liseur would be an excellent friend for you. Ask her to pray with you; she will “get” it.
You might also consider St. Nonna of Nazianzen as your patron. She married Gregory, whom Wikapedia describes thus:
A member of the Hypsistarians, a distinct Jewish-pagan sect worshiping Hypsistos, the “Most High” God, Gregory was convinced to convert to Christianity by his wife Nonna in 325. Both Gregory and Nonna came from wealthy families, and Gregory was able to personally finance the construction of a church in the region. In 328, Gregory was selected as bishop of Nazianzus, a position he held until his death. At one point, Gregory subscribed to an Arian understanding of the Trinity. However, this was for a very brief time and he quickly renounced that position. St. Gregory and St. Nonna had three children: St. Gorgonia, a model Christian wife, St. Gregory of Nazianzus (bishop and Doctor of the Church), and St. Caesarius, a physician.
IOW, the Church allows mixed marriages partly because some of our great saints entered the Church by reason of marriage to a Catholic spouse. The other reason is the frequency with which Catholics would undoubtedly choose to marry without the Church’s blessings if they were not allowed reasonable dispensations to marry non-Catholics. There can of course be a debate about when the dispensation ought to be given or not and the ways and degree to which pastors ought to discourage them, but of course mixed marriages have to be allowed
as a possibility.
Based on your account, I think this is important: “
I married him at a time when my faith was at a low point.” There are many marriages contracted under that condition that were regretted later, because of course when one’s faith is at a low point, looking for a spouse of strong faith is not usually a priority. Even if you had married a fellow Catholic, if his permanent condition matched the temporary condition under which you chose a spouse, you might easily have very similar problems as you have now.
Hang in there. If you look around you at church at how many other people are there without a spouse, you will realize you are anything but alone. You have a lot of company.
