I feel like some kind of freak because of this

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Thank you Honestly when I post in here I don’t come in with any expectations. I know some people will agree and some won’t and the same for understanding. Everyone is different. The only reason I came here to discuss it is because it’s a very sensitive issue that I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about. We had a heart to heart last night that went very well. I also put a bug in his psychologists ear to let her know what’s been going on. If course she can’t discuss his case but did offer to ask him how the marriage is going and then if he opens up to her about it then that’ll be up to them to sort out together.

That sounds very good. That type of communication is so important!

 

[jazzy0710]

OP (and all who have posted about a “real” therapist)-
Master’s level social workers are clinically trained and ARE “real” therapists. If the therapist isn’t the right fit for you, though, find somebody else. He might, however, be a good fit for individual therapy for your husband? Is your husband only meeting with the psychiatrist for meds? He might need to talk to somebody more regularly to explore what’s going on with him personally.

If the two of you are seeking couples counseling, find someone who specializes in sexual issues (you might want to find an LMFT). However, that might not necessarily be a problem that can be fixed right away if there are deeper issues going on with your husband. Also, in general, a clinical social worker is trained to look more at the “bigger picture” (the whole person, family relationships, etc.) whereas a psychologist is trained more with techniques geared toward the individual. That might be where the social worker is coming from, I don’t know.

Again, it doesn’t sound like this will be a quick fix, given your husband’s mental health diagnoses, job, and level of stress. I know it must be frustrating to you, but he will need some time to get to the bottom of what is bothering him, and likely it is multiple things. It is often hard for people to express in words what is wrong, or he may very well not know.

Prayers for you and your family

Thank you He sees a psychiatrist as well as a Psychologist. The guy we see together is a social worker but not a good fit so I’ve been looking into someone else.

 

[jazzy0710]

Just wanted to share that I came across this photo completely by accident and i’m glad I did because I obviously needed to see it:

 

[Irishmom2]

That’s beautiful, jazzy!

 

[bitterhope]

Those “US Navy Cook Salaries” figures are junk. It says the average is $24,516. Military gets paid twice a month, so 24 times a year so that gives $1021.5 per pay which is below E-1 less than 2 years service pay ($1566.90). Nobody in the military makes less than that. Additionally, they may very well get BAS and BAH, (are they still tax free? even more of a benefit), so there is more money coming in. You have absolutely zero clue what this family makes money wise so why put down his job?

This is pretty much accurate. BAH and BAS if awarded are tax free and many deployments result in tax free income as well. We definitely don’t get rich. Many of us qualify for food stamps, WIC and other forms of assistance. Many families never get above the poverty line. But we are able to live without food stamps and such and still make ends meet because of the hidden benefits. Tricare pays for everything with no copays if you opt for tricare prime and utilize the assigned clinics/doctors, pharmacies, equipment providers, etc. I don’t even need to pay for Tylenol as long as I’m willing to stand in line at the pharmacy on post (not worth it–I go to Walmart and pay for it). Tax breaks help at tax time. VA loans help with buying homes. Retirement plan that most workers in the US only dream of. Lots of little things add up. And besides, most of us aren’t looking to get rich. We are willing to sacrifice so many other people don’t need to.

There’s also a huge misconception that all military men and women are gone more than home. Yes, many are. My husband is. However I know many soldiers who are working regular hours, 5 days a week. The OP says her husband is off of sea duty so he should be home more than gone. Before we moved off post, my neighbor was one of those soldiers. He has never been away from family since basic, aside from very short stints of training or school. He was not a new soldier either. He had 17 years in and quite a bit of rank. Part of it is luck, part where you are based, part what your job is and which unit, and several other things can factor into that as well. My husband is gone a lot but when he’s in civilian job he is working longer hours, harder, and we fall farther behind. We see him just as much now as we ever did when he was not on active duty. Just to put food on the table he was working 10-16 hours a day, seven days a week. Farm workers don’t have benefits but the pay was decent. He left that for a job with benefits, but the pay was worse and the hours not any better. We’ve got kids with heart problems and learning disabilities. Health insurance was necessary but unaffordable and copays ridiculous. We opted to go back in simply for the tricare.

I just noticed the OP says they are in Canada. I don’t know how things work there or what life for them is like.