I feel so confused. When will God come to me again like he did that time?

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FaithHopeCharity

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Hello everyone, I’m here to ask for opinions on my current situation. This is long, cheesy, and dramatic. Please mind that I was not allowed to for the whole story in one body so I replied to this topic with the rest. Thank You for any time you give to listen. It means a lot.

I was born and raised Catholic. And even this being the case, I had never actually seeked God so much only when I needed him or felt like it. I had always been bullied in school and looked down upon. And the only thing I did for that 4 or 5 years of pain was try to fit in. I tried playing football that didnt work. I got into a group of friends at school that seemed cool, and hanged out with them all the time. Only problem is, every time we hanged out, they would only hurt me physically and mentally, and I still kept coming back for more. After two years (6th and 7th grade) my mom found out and talked some sense into me.

So I got my bearings that year in 8th grade, and focused on something I loved, basketball. Easnt something to try to fit in, I actually liked it. So I got good at it, but never made the team (or any team as a matter of fact) because my only strength was dribbling the ball. I’d think I would have actually made the team of I had friends to practice with or anyone at all.

Rolling into 9th grade last year I got into online business, I worked my butt off for that. Did so so so many hours of research. And also put in so much money. I had put in all my life savings and worked a job and managed to waste over $2000 coming into 10th grade. I never prayed for success, and never even actually cared for my health, or even finding any friends. My mom made me quit because she wanted my to focus on school. I figured the best option would be to wait until next year and go through yet another year of being ridiculed and ignored to get a better job and keep on trying. That was the plan until I met her.

Yes her. I had made it a small goal to make friends this year so I had signed up for all may Parish’s catholic teen events. The first kick off event was at this farm where we were first set into groups. I wanted to say with people I mutually knew but that didnt happen cause the event leader set us into groups. Keep in mind their was about 50 teens at this event so it was kinda impossible to get into 1 of the 10 groups with the 5 people I somewhat knew there. So they put us into groups. I was in a group with a bunch of people I didnt know. We were about go start this game until this girl came over and sat next to me saying this was the group she was assigned.
 
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So we introduced ourselves, I had been alarmed by not only her beauty but her confidence in her introduction as compared to the many other shy girls there. And as we played this game me and her kinda had a little to much fun, almost taking all the other group members abilities to talk away. We came up with funny answers and something about her just clicked with me, we both had humor and energy that matched eachother so perfectly. After that game we teased eachother on how when we go to the corn maze we were gonna break the rules they just told us not to break which were to not go through the corn maze, and no pushing. Which we said we would do without getting caught. As we entered the corn maze did go through the corn and ran but that got us separated. I frantically tried to find her but was impossible as this was at night and pitch dark.

But after the corn maze we got ready for the hay ride to the bonfire. But there was some time in between since some people were still figuring out the maze. So me and her found eachother at the mini basketball hoop and figured out we both played basketball. She kinda bragged how she was the best at her school which made sense since she went to a Catholic school and I went to a public. I’m not gonna lie, we didnt even play right we were just playfully pushing and shoving eachother to get to the basket as we laughed our lungs until we couldn’t breathe.

And then came the hayride to the bonfire. The hay rides we were arguing on topics 6th grades would argue like her trying to prove to me 1+1=2 while I sarcastically tried to prove it was 3. Other than the playful arguments we had it ended pretty quickly. And soon we were back at the barn waiting for our parents.
 
My dad had picked me up and on the car ride home I realized two things. One, I’ve never ever had that feeling, like ever, it had felt so new, and so amazing, it felt like someone understood me for once, like someone actually cared and wanted to include me. And two, I screwed up big time, I had not asked for her number, last name, social media, or any of her friends info. I had left without anything, any hope of ever seeing her again.

After 5 weeks non stop dealing with finding some way to meet her, I started to pray. At first it was just an bunch of Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s with me asking God at the end to some how give me that again. That which I believed and still believe would be that peice in my life that would connect all pieces. After 2 weeks went by of constant daily praying my mom who had noticed the recent change in mood, suggested the Rosary. It took some time because before, the rosary had always been so long and boring to me. But after some time I started doing it and it was life changing. And after only 2 days of asking for a sign of hope, or a sign of anything on what to do, and he gave it to me. December 1st at church I met her which is exactly what I had asked for, I came to her at the end and she recognized me and brang back jokes from the time we first met which surprised me cause that’s was a whole 9 or 10 weeks ago. But after that moment she asked me if I was coming to an event next Friday, but quickly she had left me cause the rest of her family had been had already been leaving. I left again with no hope, only knowing that the event was up North and it was a conference of some sort she had not know at the time the name of the event. And I was back where I started.

And this is where I’m at now. Just turned 16, still waiting, waiting for an answer to my prayers while fulfilling Gods word. I had went to confessions more often and confessed sins I had never confessed before because they seemed so embarrassing. Also improved my overall relationship with many and prayed for those who tore me apart and always thought of Gods will and how to come closer to him daily. It’s been 6 weeks since I fet her last and I’m still wondering, why has God come to me through this girl which had changed my life, brang me closer to him so so so much, and yet takes her away leaving me yet with no one to relate to as good as I did with her. I dont understand his plan, I trust him though. What I am asking is, when and how much longer until something happens in my life, until God comes through me again to make the next change in my life like he did some time ago. I know nobody know this, but I ask for anything. Whether it be advice or an opinion or just you reading, I thank you for taking your time.
 
Ask your youth minister or call the Diocese department of Youth Ministry and you can find the event if you want to go.

Then, ask her for her number.

It is simple.
 
Seek some spiritual direction from your pastor. Praying for a certain girl to like you, or to run into her, etc, is problematic. Ask your pastor to help you learn how to pray in a more mature way. God didn’t necessarily bring her back to you, it has more to do with you both being involved in the same group. So probability is high you will see her again

If you are depressed, having trouble at school or with your social circle, get help from a counselor and/or your pastor. Teen years can be tough, but you have your whole life ahead of you.

It is not fair to this girl to put your hopes, expectations, and happiness all on her. First, you are sixteen, and she is around the same age. Maybe she is interested, maybe she isn’t. Maybe a friendship is in the offering, maybe it’s not.

Learn to enjoy the people that come in to your life, even if briefly. Don’t push or try to make it more than it is. If you see her again, ask for her name/social media/number, etc. but don’t set expectations on that and don’t place all your social needs on her back.
 
FaithHopeCharity said:
suggested the Rosary. It took some time because before, the rosary had always been so long and boring to me. But after some time I started doing it and it was life changing.
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As someone whose life has been changed by praying the Rosary, what I will tell you is never stop praying it. Pray it every day if you can. A devotion to Mary will help you get through the tough times.
 
I’ll definitely try talking to my pastor, I’ve never actually thought if that. And it’s hard for me to grasp why God had this happen. I mean, I feel so much closer an happier with God reason being because if this person I met. Even the stress of school is not bothering me as much as it had before. It’s just that with this person, it’s the first time anything like this has come into my life, I actually feel like I have hope. If anything I wish I could just talk to her, it doesnt need to be anything serious, I just need people that will make me feel included.
 
I know right! My life has improved so so much. I have gained so much knowledge about the life of Jesus and so much strength to fight sin I’ve committed without thinking before. It’s a miracle I dont know what I would do without!
 
People of either sex who introduce themselves to you tend to (not always) fall into one of two categories:
  1. The answer to a prayer
  2. Not the answer you were looking for.
Therefore, you must discern and choose wisely. That is where Father and spiritual direction enter in.

Bear in mind that the only person you need throughout your life is Jesus Christ.
 
Answering as a Mom of three here: Oh sweetie, this was your first ‘friend’ and it sounds like your first real crush. Those feelings are so strong and so amazing that you think this is IT and you will never meet another girl to relate to like you did her (part of your post). But… you will! You still may meet up with her… if you met up at church once it’s bound to happen again. BUT now you know it CAN happen.

Also - only being 16, you’ve got a pretty cool awakening ahead of you. When you graduate, and you go off to college, you are going to be a whole new huge group of kids and guess what? MUCH better than junior high and high school because you are going to find people that ARE just like you. Into the same interests, the same hobbies, the same career interests. You are going to find like-minded people in your classes, your undergrad degrees and they won’t CARE at ALL if you are good at basketball. LOL.

Also - if she knows your name and you know hers, what about finding each other on Facebook and just sending a ‘hey’ to her? 👋
 
Yes indeed. But Jesus Christ comes to use in many ways. So if he comes to us in these ways, it must mean that we also need these ways which christ himself comes to us. Right?
 
You sound like such a cool mom. Your children must be so lucky going off of all the advice you gave me.

It is so true! I trust God that he will eventually and somehow bring me to her again. He has come to me in unimaginable ways in the three hours I had spent with her. It almost seems impossible for that not to mean anything. And you know if by some unlucky chance I dont meet her in the rest of my high school years, there are so many people out there I will meet in college that will care about me in some ways. And I’ll definitely seek my options on how to reach her. And through Facebook I’m not sure cause I only have her first name, but if I ever know her last, I’ll definitely try you idea. Thank you so much and I will keep you as intention of my rosary prayer tonight. God bless you!
 
We are called to see Christ in the eyes of others. Having said that, we must also bear in mind that the devil is the prince of this world. He is ultimately defeated, yet his worldly power remains. Thus, we must discern the spirits. That is where spiritual direction comes in, along with the virtues of diligence and prudence.
 
Alright, I think I understand. God will always come first in my life and am carefull not to worship spirits as I do God. But is it alright to pray that somehow God may come to you through the eyes of others?
 
When I was a teen I was forever Saying to God ‘is he the one? If so, please give me a sign, let a red car go past…’ ok no car, how about a bus ? Yes! A bus! He’s the one!’ Ok ok I’m being a bit flippant here, but honestly just use common sense when meeting people and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Every single person you meet is a chance to show the love of God and learn something, you just happened to have a crush on this person 🙂 so you are pinning a lot on it. Make friends, get yourself your education and enjoy your faith
 
FaithHopeCharity said:
I know right! My life has improved so so much. I have gained so much knowledge about the life of Jesus and so much strength to fight sin I’ve committed without thinking before. It’s a miracle I dont know what I would do without!
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FaithHopeCharity said:
, I actually feel like I have hope
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It sounds like you have a lot to be grateful for! You sound happy and like you are smiling about the rest of your life!

Thank God for bringing this experience in your life. Maybe you two will meet again, maybe not, but be grateful for the wonderful changes in your life and especially for your new-found relationship with God 🙂
 
Keep perspective…be mindful that before meeting her, you felt very alone and dissatisfied with not having friends, and meeting someone you click with can always be intoxicating anyway. You are at risk of becoming obsessive about her, and you’re still kids, so pump the breaks on the day dreams. Hopefully you will run into each other again, but don’t miss the broader lessons here.

First, you can fit in and meet people you enjoy. Middle school is terrible for a lot of people, and highschool starts out rough for most also but if you do what you are meant to do in class, stay involved with church youth activities, and do fun things like basketball, you will be fine.

Second, the point of joining things to make friends is to meet some new people. You weren’t thrilled to be put in a group of strangers but it worked out fine. Next time, try to meet new people…you haven’t strongly connected to those you already know so just pick a group. The worst that might happen is an hour with people who aren’t your crowd.

It’s great too that you became comfortable with the rosary and with confessing the embarrassing things.

Overall, the girl is not the greatest gain of this life experience. Great if you see her again, but if not, you are still way beyond where you were before. Sign up for more youth group events, volunteer…do more with other people and others will see what you are about.
 
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Yes! I am truly so much more happier and pure than I’ve ever been before. And your right even if we dont meet again, nothing will change, I’ll still be trying to grow my faith and so much because of her. And if being thankful for her is all that I can do, then so be it. God Bless you!
 
Best to keep it general, as in “Lord, may your will be done in my life” - this will not be immediately pleasing (unless you are a Saint), as our will tends to oppose God’s. Things that happen suddenly appeal to our senses, our emotions. Rather, things that pass the test of time, and are subject to our reason as well as our faith, will meet with approval.
 
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