I finally opened up to a priest, and it went terribly wrong

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One Priest is standard pastoral therapy in OCD/scrupulosity cases. That is what I do.

Your OCD thoughts are not sins. They are intrusive, unwanted thoughts. You must understand that. No matter how evil they feel, they are not you. You can not control them, and the harder you try to force yourself to control them, the worse it will be. Just let them pass, like you would the rantings of a drunk yelling about how the moon landing was faked on the side of the street while you walk by.

Here are some things you can do to start getting better:
  1. Order the book “Understanding Scrupulosity” by Fr. Thomas Santa C.Ss.R. (coincidentally my confessor is a Redemptorist as well and is an acquaintance of Fr. Santa)
  2. https://scrupulousanonymous.org/wp-.../Ten_Commandments_for_the_Scrupulous_2013.pdf
  3. Read this essay:
    https://fatherdoyle.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/scruples-and-their-treatment.pdf
 
Thank you! I will read through these tonight!
You are so lucky! I’ve heard of the Redemptiorists because of the 10 commandments for the scrupulous, but there are none in my state.
 
I’m not totally certain; however, contacting your Diocese would be a good start.

@TheLittleLady
 
I think I did, at least the vocations office of my diocese? I’m not sure if it’s the same place, but the number was given to me by a sister. I was just told not to worry. That all priests take psychology courses in seminary.
 
#3 I HIGHLY recommend it. I found it has helped strengthen my resolve when having my own doubts and fears.
 
As soon as my daughter dozes off I will make sure to look through it. Thank you so much. Just having you share that you have this has made me feel so much better. It really has made me feel like I may not be the only person going through this.
 
Right, I may just have to call again and hope there is such a priest somewhere.
 
You’ll have to explain that you’re under medical treatment and require someone who understands this.
 
I’m sorry if I’m asking too much of you, I’m just terrified at this point. Should I mention that it is POCD specifically? Or would that be too much information to give right off the bat?
 
You are not alone. Not at all.

God loves you. You have to understand that.

Do not be discouraged, do not despair. There is always hope in Christ.
 
It’s so hard to believe that He does. Not because of the suffering, but because I feel so filthy most of the time. I know you’re right though. I try to remember that if I’m alive it means He hasn’t given up on me yet. Could I ask you to please pray for me?
 
To actually answer your question: you may approach a qualified Catholic mental health therapist. Such a person can help with both the ‘spiritual end’, as you call it, of your OCD and also with the OCD itself. Talk to a representative at your health insurance provider and ask for a referral. Good luck.
 
I have some sympathy for what the priest was trying to communicate (badly). Yes, there is nothing he could do. There is no more a spiritual ‘end’ of OCD than there is a spiritual ‘end’ of acne. Yes, your spiritual beliefs will help you interpret your experience, but OCD has neither a spiritual origin, nor cure. OCD is a terrible condition and it may well be that the priest has in the past, with all good will, tried to help and (he thinks) made things worse. He may be carrying a terrible burden and need to distance himself immediately from others with the condition. This may make him feel bad but he may have been counselled to be determined whatever the person with OCD says. Remember that if you cease to be a believer you will still have OCD. Atheists with OCD worry about harming others, about infections, about pollution, about whether they have witnessed a crime and all sorts of other things. The priest, though he was for some reason unable to deliver his message in a way you found supportive, was right. Have you thought of showing this thread to your therapist? It may help them understand the depth of your religious concerns. I hope things get better soon for you!
 
I will pray for you. You are a beloved child of God. You are a member of the Body of Christ. You are important and cherished in God’s eyes.
 
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