I’m sure lots of posters here have already caught on the references and have wisely refrained from addressing them specifically, sticking only to the key points: that this is a medical issue first, before a spiritual one; and this is likely why Father ended the conversation the way he did.
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meltzerboy2
Guest
It’s hard to know why the priest reacted the way he did. Yes, he may have felt overwhelmed and out of his expertise, but still some pastoral care might have been in order. For all we know, maybe OCD is something personal in his own life, if not affecting him directly then maybe someone in his family. Perhaps after taking a few deep breaths, you might try to speak with another spiritual counselor or priest. Or, as an alternative, maybe a Catholic psychologist who understands better where you are coming from in regard to the spiritual dimension.
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Canvas
Guest
My suggestion: talk to this therapist. Your spiritual problem is not your POCD—that is a mental health issue, and like I said NOT A SIN.
It has led to a spiritual issue—scrupulosity. Scrupulosity is a mental health and a spiritual issue that needs to be addressed. Getting help for your scrupulosity may very well help you overall.
Please consider talking to that therapist and please pray for me. May God bless you.
It has led to a spiritual issue—scrupulosity. Scrupulosity is a mental health and a spiritual issue that needs to be addressed. Getting help for your scrupulosity may very well help you overall.
Please consider talking to that therapist and please pray for me. May God bless you.
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RandomAlias
Guest
These two lines strongly suggest to me that he has his own cross to bear, and a heavy one it must be. We mustn’t speculate what it is, or inquire or comment on his issues; that could all too easily turn into gossip of the worst kind. Forget I even said it.
Just believe him when he says he can’t help you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help. He can’t.
Say a prayer for the priest. I will pray for you and for him.
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Chamomile
Guest
I will Canvas, thank you so much. I am starting to understand what you’ve been telling me with your posts, but you know how OCD is. I have moments of clarity and then moments of huge doubt. I’ll speak with the therapist
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Chamomile
Guest
I honestly just believed it was a matter of my illness being disturbing to him. I really don’t believe that he had anything going on. This is a priest who I have every reason to believe is an amazing director and Shepard otherwise.
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Seeksadvice
Guest
He’s probably wondering if he is going to be seeing you every day in the confessional for a half hour or so talking about “thought sins” of an Orwellian/Bradburian nature, while the line wraps around the building and goes down the block.
Priests aren’t psychiatrists/psychologists. He suggested that you get professional help. Heed that suggestion.
Priests aren’t psychiatrists/psychologists. He suggested that you get professional help. Heed that suggestion.
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Rozellelily
Guest
I’m sorry that this happened.It sounds awful.
Unfortunately there are still many priests and,ironically,doctors too,who have stigma or ignorance towards Mental or Cognitive illnesses.
The priest probably felt that he was unequipped to provide advice to you regarding when your actions were due to sin vs due to the OCD.
Unlike with drug addiction,which he may view solely through the “sin model” so to speak, (as opposed to a medical model) explaining hy he was able to respond with kindness to your friend.
Iow,with your friend he perceives it as sin-ie: that your friend was changing after a lifetime of sin,but with you he perceives it as medical.
It’s very unfortunate that a person could be compassionate to one person but nit to the next,but often this is because they find a certain thing relatable to them.
People sometimes find it hard to put themselves in others shoes p if they haven’t experienced a similar situation or known anyone who has.
Try to keep in mind that different priests are different.
Different situation,but I remember a priest telling me a few years ago that priests are like any ‘profession’-some are worse and some are better.
Hopefully this isn’t the case overall(!) but it might be for your situation that you may find a more understanding one at a different parish.
Once you have found him,it’s good that you put trust in him regarding spiritual matters/whether your sins are forgiven and don’t doubt or double guess him etc…because,correct me if I’m wrong,but I think priests take on this responsibility with God.
Ie:if they tell you something wrong it us between them and God now and God doesn’t hold you to accountability.
Perhaps you could pray to God if there was a way that He could use this situation for good.
Eg
erhaps through education at your parish or by you writing a blog or article on the matter etc?
Also,make a habit of not feeding your doubts!
Think of it like a little gremlin and every time when they want feeding ignore them and they will become less and less powerful.
Unfortunately there are still many priests and,ironically,doctors too,who have stigma or ignorance towards Mental or Cognitive illnesses.
The priest probably felt that he was unequipped to provide advice to you regarding when your actions were due to sin vs due to the OCD.
Unlike with drug addiction,which he may view solely through the “sin model” so to speak, (as opposed to a medical model) explaining hy he was able to respond with kindness to your friend.
Iow,with your friend he perceives it as sin-ie: that your friend was changing after a lifetime of sin,but with you he perceives it as medical.
It’s very unfortunate that a person could be compassionate to one person but nit to the next,but often this is because they find a certain thing relatable to them.
People sometimes find it hard to put themselves in others shoes p if they haven’t experienced a similar situation or known anyone who has.
Try to keep in mind that different priests are different.
Different situation,but I remember a priest telling me a few years ago that priests are like any ‘profession’-some are worse and some are better.
Hopefully this isn’t the case overall(!) but it might be for your situation that you may find a more understanding one at a different parish.
Once you have found him,it’s good that you put trust in him regarding spiritual matters/whether your sins are forgiven and don’t doubt or double guess him etc…because,correct me if I’m wrong,but I think priests take on this responsibility with God.
Ie:if they tell you something wrong it us between them and God now and God doesn’t hold you to accountability.
Perhaps you could pray to God if there was a way that He could use this situation for good.
Eg
erhaps through education at your parish or by you writing a blog or article on the matter etc?Also,make a habit of not feeding your doubts!
Think of it like a little gremlin and every time when they want feeding ignore them and they will become less and less powerful.
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Rozellelily
Guest
Even if he didn’t feel capable to be her spiritual director, he still should have responded to her in a more compassionate way as the way he responded,it could push a person like this from the Catholic faith as they might take it as a rejection.
The reality is there will always be people with Mental illnesses or Cognitive illnesses being part of the Catholic Church and they make up some of the “least of thee” that Jesus talked about in the bible how we should act towards people in disadvantaged situations.
I’m sure that a Catholic priest would be trying to live out the virtue of patience so I’d be surprised if his primary concern was her clogging up confession lines.
It probably was just a case of him feeling over his head
The reality is there will always be people with Mental illnesses or Cognitive illnesses being part of the Catholic Church and they make up some of the “least of thee” that Jesus talked about in the bible how we should act towards people in disadvantaged situations.
I’m sure that a Catholic priest would be trying to live out the virtue of patience so I’d be surprised if his primary concern was her clogging up confession lines.
It probably was just a case of him feeling over his head
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observing
Guest
Dearest Chamomile, I have no experience with OCD but I can tell you this for sure: Jesus would never send you away. He loves you. If you are a mother then you know the love you have for your child/children…if your young child came to you for help would you send him/her away? Of course you wouldn’t. You are a child of God’s. He loves you with an everlasting love, no matter how you feel about yourself. Please consider telling God what you’re feeling in your heart or placing yourself before Christ in silence until you feel His presence. I will keep you in my prayers.
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brian_custer
Guest
priests with this type of training are certainly “out there”
finding them is difficult…
finding them is difficult…
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Chamomile
Guest
I have medial and physiological help. These things were explained in the original post. I also explained to him that according to the advice of my therapist I would only be allowed to see him once a month and for no longer than an hour for direction and confession.
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Chamomile
Guest
I live the gremlin analogy haha, thank you! I feel more encouraged to keep looking in a different parish, though I may not be able to right away. As soon as I get my anxiety down from this I will keep on looking.
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Chamomile
Guest
I took a screenshot of your comment, thank you so much! I needed that more than you know!
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Delphinus
Guest
I struggle with a depression disorder myself. It’s taken me 10 years to find a priest I trust enough to talk to about this, and even then I went to him with :“I am medicated and see a psych. and a counselor. I need help with the spiritual aspect, though.” This amazingly kind priest was still sure to confirm multiple times that I was already seeing a professional before going forward with spiritual direction.
When you have those other things in place, they are far more apt to listen. Sadly, too many people come to them and expect them to help and they really, truly can’t. When there is mental illness involved, people hear things much differently and react much differently. The priest may have been involved in really bad situations in the past and got scared. He handled it VERY poorly, but I can tell you as someone in your shoes (albeit with a different disorder!) that any non-licensed, non-professional will usually straight up absolutely REFUSE to meet with you until you are being medically treated. Aside from personal problems, they face legal ones as well if something happens to you.
On a personal note: sorting through the spiritual side of it all can be very fruitless until the medical is sorted out. Before I got on a med that worked and started seeing a therapist, I swore my spiritual problem was one thing when, in fact, it turned out to be completely different. It’s like trying to treat a cough when you also have tuberculosis. You have to get the major MEDICAL problem sorted first a lot of times. There are exceptions, and having a spiritual director is absolutely invaluable! But make sure to be in therapy and on meds (if necessary, see a doc!) before really digging into these things with someone who is not trained for mental illness.
I also want to echo what #observing said. You can always come to Jesus in prayer. He’ll NEVER turn you away and I have found when I am in the depths of my illness, he meets me there and holds me through it. Some of the best times I’ve felt his presence is when I am at my mental worst. Our God is so good.
When you have those other things in place, they are far more apt to listen. Sadly, too many people come to them and expect them to help and they really, truly can’t. When there is mental illness involved, people hear things much differently and react much differently. The priest may have been involved in really bad situations in the past and got scared. He handled it VERY poorly, but I can tell you as someone in your shoes (albeit with a different disorder!) that any non-licensed, non-professional will usually straight up absolutely REFUSE to meet with you until you are being medically treated. Aside from personal problems, they face legal ones as well if something happens to you.
On a personal note: sorting through the spiritual side of it all can be very fruitless until the medical is sorted out. Before I got on a med that worked and started seeing a therapist, I swore my spiritual problem was one thing when, in fact, it turned out to be completely different. It’s like trying to treat a cough when you also have tuberculosis. You have to get the major MEDICAL problem sorted first a lot of times. There are exceptions, and having a spiritual director is absolutely invaluable! But make sure to be in therapy and on meds (if necessary, see a doc!) before really digging into these things with someone who is not trained for mental illness.
I also want to echo what #observing said. You can always come to Jesus in prayer. He’ll NEVER turn you away and I have found when I am in the depths of my illness, he meets me there and holds me through it. Some of the best times I’ve felt his presence is when I am at my mental worst. Our God is so good.
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Chamomile
Guest
And the sad thing is, ever since I was officially diagnosed and knew it was a mental illness, I’ve met other Catholics with mental illness ( most by chance and others at the clinic I visit for therapy) and most of them feel rejected or isolated in church. Most have felt like a burden at one point or the other in every setting though, and this is why I believe it is that we try to find consoling, open arms in Holy Mother Church, but there just isn’t enough training. This just leads to things of this nature. We need more help. We need a more clear place in the church.
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Chamomile
Guest
Thank you Delphinus, and I am in therapy and receiving medication from a psychiatrist as well. I explained all this to Father. I actually believe my speech went very much like yours! I have had an awful time coming to Our Lord, but I continue saying the Rosary even if without feeling. Please say a prayer for me. I hope I am able to find someone soon!
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Delphinus
Guest
I’m sorry if I missed that earlier! Sorry, but if you’re in therapy and treated then his response was really way too extreme…
Sadly though…not uncommon. Like I said, took me ten years to open up to a priest after some not great experiences. I’m so sorry this happened.
Just know that you aren’t alone. Sending you love!
Sadly though…not uncommon. Like I said, took me ten years to open up to a priest after some not great experiences. I’m so sorry this happened.
Just know that you aren’t alone. Sending you love!
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FiveLinden
Guest
How is the medication going? Does it need more time?
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MonteRCMS
Guest
To deal with the spiritual aspects of your situation, you need to find a priest as a spiritual director who would be making suggestions for prayer, not as a confessor who would be concerned with forgiving sins.
The person who said you need a confessor was incorrect. That person should have said you need a spiritual director.
Call your rectory and ask one of the priests if they can recommend someone to be spiritual director and those services are conducted in an office, not in a confessional.
The person who said you need a confessor was incorrect. That person should have said you need a spiritual director.
Call your rectory and ask one of the priests if they can recommend someone to be spiritual director and those services are conducted in an office, not in a confessional.
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