I finally opened up to a priest, and it went terribly wrong

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Like I mentioned in my post, the fact that I’m feeling so much better is precisely why I decided it was time to go back to confession. My medication has helped so much for the past month or so, though obviously the thoughts don’t go away 100%, I’m more calm and don’t panic as much when they hit.
 
Well, standard treatment for OCD is actually a confessor since it is precisely within confession that this illness takes root. I’m talking repeating confessions, doubting absolution, worrying about not mentioning everything or not making my sins “dark enough”. This is why even saints like St. Alphonsus recommend a confessor for sufferers ( though they didn’t know it was OCD at the time) and it all points to him having been a sufferer himself. Obedience to a confessor is how it works best.
 
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Chamomile, I thought about you last night and wanted to share a memory with you, if for no other reason than to point out that because a priest wears a Stole during confession, they are still fallible and human with human faults and their own personalities and sins.
My brother and I went to Catholic school. Every Friday the nuns would take us to confession…to Monsignor. My brother confessed that he had told a lie. Monsignor’s reply to this innocent child? “Your tongue will turn into a pillar of worms.Lie again and you will be left an orphan.”
Please don’t take this uninformed priest’s word to heart.but instead pray for him. Look for a Spiritual Director instead of a confessor. May you experience Christ’s mercy and feel His peace…that is beyond all understanding.
Love and prayers.
 
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Oh goodness,I’m so sorry that happened to him. That must have been so frightening for your brother. I’ll try my best to keep it in mind and to pray for them too. Thank you for sharing that, it must be a painful memory for you as well. I am thinking that may be a good option before starting confession again. I may just need to tackle spiritual direction first. Thank you!
 
Chamomile said:
Which I am getting. Like I mentioned, I have both a therapist and a psychiatrist. However, as you may know, OCD causes huge problems in confession, and this is what I was needing help with. The spiritual end of the illness. Not medical, which I am getting, not psychological, which I am also getting and spoke of to him.
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I too, suffer from OCD and know how difficult confession can be. If it were me in your situation, I’d find another priest and try again.
My priest is very compassionate about my OCD, but honestly, his advice hasn’t been very helpful. He’s told me to replace an OCD thought with another thought, but that really doesn’t help.
Still, he’s kind and I were in your situation, I’d try another priest.
 
I pray Theotokos asks her Son to send you to a priest who can hear you and help you.
You are in my prayers.
May the Lord help you!
No, God did NOT abandon you. Do not give in to despair.
God bless!
 
You can try doing what I did. I was very scrupulous and also diagnosed OCD. Only I did not get past 2 there sessions because of cost. I found acouple monestaries close by. One 30 miles away, another 50. I emailed the closest one explaining my situation and asked if they had any priest competent in dealing with scrupulousity and would be willing to help me. Got no answer so I sent a old school letter to the next one and got a reply a week later. They had a priest willing to help and he was a Godsend because he helped mw overcome my scrupulousity. I have been about 95% better for the past 2 years now. Maybe you can try the same?
 
I’ve received that advice in the past too, but as you know I’m sure, my therapist has told me that this is exactly what we’re not supposed to do. Thank you for sharing this. Like I told Canvas up there, even just hearing that there are more Catholics struggling with this is a bit comforting. Please pray for me!
 
I’ve been considering praying the 20 decade Rosary for this intention, but I’m hesitant since I haven’t been to confession for a while and am not sure if it will be useful to Our Lady at all. I pray the 5 decade Rosary daily, but even then I don’t even truly know if she can use it.
 
I might ask your therapist about that.

My instinct is that there’s a difference between looking for a priest initially that might be understanding, and bouncing between priests for your confession and advice. I am obviously not your therapist, but I would rely the situation to them and ask.
 
Chamomile said:
I’m not sure if it’s the same place, but the number was given to me by a sister. I was just told not to worry. That all priests take psychology courses in seminary.
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That’s not enough in your case. Call back and explain in more depth what you are dealing with and for a priest who also has a degree in psychology, they do exist.
 
I feel like I have no hope for peace or salvation. Who can I turn for help, if I Our Lord’s representatives run away from people like me?
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Keep looking for another priest. God didn’t bring you this far in life to abandon you. I’ve been hurt like this too, don’t want to go into details here, but keep looking, and ask God for help in this matter.

Also, can you find any spiritual books to turn to, that address how you feel until you do find another priest?

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Is there any way you can offer up your suffering for someone or something in the meantime?

You are in my prayers. Placing you in the enclosed garden of the most sacred heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
 
I’m very sorry you are dealing with this. He did not handle this well. What you need right now is some compassion from a good priest. I will pray you run across a good one. Not all of them have good people skills, they are all made differently. I know you will get folks on here who will pay no mind to your experience and tell you the duties of the priest – I’m sure you know that already. There are 4 priests at my parish. One makes a good administrator, one makes a good speaker, another makes a good counselor and is very nurturing and the final one is young and hip. There are all types to make the world go round. 🙂 What you are going through is very real and what you asked the priest is very reasonable, he didn’t handle it well and he sounds like he was honest when he said he wasn’t equipped to know what to do. Sounds like he was using the psychology thing as a way out. Again, I will say a special prayer you run across a more nurturing priest. Please don’t lose faith and heart.
 
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I have thought about offering it up, but I don’t think I’m in the state of grace. This is why this is so painful. I want to go to confession so badly, but I feel trapped.
 
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Trapped by what? I think that is scrupulosity talking.

Go to Confession, explain to the Priest that you are a scrupulant and are having a lot of trouble. He may be able to help guide you through.

Intrusive thoughts brought on by OCD (even POCD) are not sins and as such do not need to be mentioned in the confessional. Full stop.

You have no need to worry about having a bad experience talking about POCD in Confession. You have no need to even mention it. It is not a moral failing, a sin. It is a mental health issue. Please understand that.

Inform your Confessor you are suffering from scrupulosity and severe anxiety, and he may assist you in making a confession.

Only confess sins that are without doubt sins. Doubtful sins do not count for the scrupulous and need not be confessed. You can even ask the Priest what he thinks about that, because obligations for the scrupulous are different than for lax or even average penitents.

Make a list, and look over it, and really think about each sin you are accusing yourself of—is this something that,if someone else mentioned, would you think was a grave sin? If it isn’t clearly a true sin, feel free to cross it off your list.

Ask the Priest for help. And there is no need to get into specifics about POCD at all.
 
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