I found out I was never Baptized

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My first question is what country are you in. I read you were born in South Korea.

Is it possible your records were lost through misfortune
 
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My first question is what country are you in.

Is it possible your records were lost through misfortune
I am in the United States right now, but as a child I lived in Europe and Asia as well. I was born in 1990.
 
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The usual modus operandi is that when you receive 1st communion or confirmation, they just don’t take the parents’ word for it and actually check the record… I remember my dad driving down to the church I was baptized at when I was 7 to get the record.

I think back in the day, when there were a lot of immigrants who might not have brought over all of their records and were baptized in the old country- this kind of thing might happen and the priest may have been allowed to take their word for it. But I wouldn’t think in the modern age of telecommunications.
 
The Church in Korea keeps the same records as every other Diocese.
 
You said ArchDiocese of the Military? They keep very good records.
 
It might become very difficult to track down all your records. I suggest you and your wife sit with your priest, he is responsible for your souls , Talk with him and take his advice. This is not your fault or doing.
Let your priest guide you and your wife in your current marriage, whatever it’s status.
If you must attend RCIA for a couple of years, enjoy the process and get involved with it. Take it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

You are in my prayers
I was hoping to get support and advice on this thread, but most of the posters are calling me a liar and insulting my parents I do not understand.

@Roseeurekacross I understand why my wife left. She assumed I was Catholic when I never was. My whole life has been ruined over the past 4 days because of this. The last thing I need is to be called a liar.
 
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It’s very unfortunate.
The Church makes clerical mistakes like anyone else. Everyone makes mistakes, that’s why pencils have erasers. A number of years ago, a neighbor died and he owned a plot in one of the Catholic churchyards around here. The church had planted someone else with the same name in his spot 40 years previously.

The man was 95 when he died, and wife was still around.
 
mp through onerous hoops.

What is strange is that this was not discovered when you were Confirmed or Married. Both of those Sacraments required a valid, official, sealed
No one is calling you a liar. We are saying that someone is wrong or confused…whether that’s your parents, the priest, or yourself.
Were you married in the Catholic Church? If so, the priest DEFINITELY requested and saw your baptismal certificate. Likewise when you were a confirmed as a child. Either your parents are confused or lying or a fabricated baptismal certificate is floating around and was submitted to the parish when you got married ,etc.
Did your parents do all the paperwork with the parish before your wedding? That’s not normally the case. You should have met with the priest and gone through the paperwork as the groom.
As others have said, contact the parish where you were married to try to sort this out.

As for your wife leaving you, that seems quite extreme and I’m very sorry to hear that. If you actually weren’t baptized, that isn’t your fault…and you are clearly now trying to rectify the situation.
 
@Roseeurekacross I understand why my wife left. She assumed I was Catholic when I never was. My whole life has been ruined over the past 4 days because of this. The last thing I need is to be called a liar.
What? Where did she call you a liar?
 
No one here is calling you a liar. We are going by what we know and some of us are employed by our diocese and know of what we speak with regards to sacramental records. If indeed you managed to fall through the cracks each time that a current copy of a baptismal record was needed, it’s truly unfortunate. As I said earlier, contact your Bishop if your parish priest refuses to do anything other than say, “oh well, everything is invalid and now you need two years of RCIA”. That is not what he should be doing. As far as your wife leaving you…I’m thinking there is way more to that issue than a nonexistent baptismal certificate and questionable sacramental reception. I personally would go to another parish and if that priest didn’t offer to work with you on a quick resolution (and offer an explanation of getting this taken care of ASAP to your wife), I’d call the Bishop and make arrangements for marriage counseling.
She’s upset because our child is very sick and is in the hospital. He will recover but I am no longer allowed to visit him while she is there. She is also mad at my parents for dropping this news right as my child is sick and needed my care.
 
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Praying for your child.

When things calm down, when you have talked with the Diocese, this should be an easier thing.

I have friends who, because of irregularities with the judge who issued their license, found out they were not legally married. They found it to be funny, planned a second wedding and had a big party.

Maybe if you start planning a party to celebrate marrying her again, once the child is well, she will find joy in that. (In fact, you may speak to your priest about a Radical Sanation of your marriage).
 
if your parish priest refuses to do anything other than say, “oh well, everything is invalid and now you need two years of RCIA”. That is not what he should be doing
Amen.

This is not a unique situation by any stretch of the imagination. It isn’t common, but isn’t unheard of either.

The bishop’s office should know what to do.
 
We can only hope your parents’ timing of this disclosure was out of guilt and concern, given the illness of your child and a realization of our mortality. Your wife is overwhelmed, as I’m sure you are, too. A child’s serious illness causes severe emotional strain on the parents…the worry, the fatigue- I can relate to that. Please see if the Catholic chaplain or priest assigned to the hospital might have some recommendations for you; both with regards to your parents’ disclosure and providing pastoral care for you and your wife at this time. May St Raphael, patron of healing and marriages, intercede for you and your family.
My parents don’t understand why this is such a big deal. They said “it will take 5 minuets, stop making a mountain out of a molehill”. They have also called me a crybaby and a bad father because my child has a illness that we have no control over.

@(name removed by moderator) @StRaphaelPray4Us They also never go to mass and insult my wife and I for wanting to raise our child Catholic. They told our young child to his face that his parents were stupid and to resist going to mass.
 
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@Wesrock now i do know, and my wife is heartbroken that she married a non baptized catholic. She is devastated that I have to wait over 2 years until being baptized. She feels as if she was lied too as she wanted to marry a catholic and I was never one even if I had no idea
Again, this two year RCIA requirement for someone in the situation you describe seems completely crazy. Maybe speak to some other priests about your situation and your desire for baptism and the convalidation of your marriage
 
Your parents are joking with you (not funny) or this isn’t a real situation.
Or he received the subsequent sacraments at a parish that didn’t perform it’s due diligence. He said he was born in South Korea – is it possible he received (or thought he received) his other sacraments there as well and they weren’t as meticulous with the record-checking?

In any event, assuming all is as the OP said, it doesn’t seem overwhelmingly difficult to rectify. Even if you do have to go through RCIA, I would think it would be worth it. The good news is that if you really weren’t baptized, baptism will wipe away ALL your past sins. Or, you may be given what is known as a provisional baptism if there is some doubt about whether you were ever baptized or not – your parents’ story sounds highly questionable, especially if they are now hostile to the Catholic faith. In that case, you might be asked to make a good confession just in cased, but you would just do the best you could to remember past sins. You would still be forgiven for those you could not remember.
 
I also have a hard time believing this story. I don’t think the OP is lying, but his parents sound horrible and it wouldn’t surprise me if they didn’t make this up to stress him out. I find it very unlikely that a priest would marry him without a Baptism certificate. I wonder if the priest where the Confirmation took place may have done a conditional Baptism, since the parish the parent’s named couldn’t produce a record of a Baptism.
 
They told our young child to his face that his parents were stupid and to resist going to mass.
They sound spiteful. For whatever reasons they have, they aren’t happy you practice your faith and are raising your child to do the same. I seriously think they made the story up. No way you get through all of those sacraments without having a verified baptismal certificate presented. Research where the records would be assuming you were baptized. Make some phone calls or send some email and verify for yourself that no baptismal certificate exists.

Your parents sound mean-spirited. This is the kind of thing mean spirited people do…they often make up stories to upset others. I am sorry you are going through this.

Also, your wife sounds ridiculous. She needs to work on that.
 
Yeah, I would suspect it’s not the first hijinx the inlaws have put her through. If I found out that my husband was never Baptized, I wouldn’t leave him, I’d get him Baptized. It isn’t as if he deliberately deceived her.
 
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