I Got Fired!

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ScareBear

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Yikes! Long story short: Former friend was angry with me and called our corporate office to tell them every juicy detail of how I vented to her. She and I had talked (privately) about our jobs (we’re both in human services). She got angry with me (she’s crazy) because she couldn’t control me and she wanted me to get an abortion (okay; demanded). She felt since she was trying IVF, Clomid, etc. and couldn’t get pregant it’s not good we’re having our fifth. So… I got fired for “going out into the community and spreading malicious lies and gossip” about the agency.

I know this is for the best. I went straightaway to my priest and cried/talked to him for a bit. This is scary. We’re down to one income now and things are tight. We’re going to do fine but I’m humiliated, etc. My co-workers were like family to me! Grrrr… My supervisor cried while she was firing me.

I’m so sad. 😦

But… I’m relieved strangely and very, very happy to be home with our dumplings and our soon-to-be baby. I was going to quit after the first of the year/birth but now it’s forced on me. Yikes.

Thanks for “listening” to me! It is appreciated.

Cara
 
ScareBear said:
Yikes! Long story short: Former friend was angry with me and called our corporate office to tell them every juicy detail of how I vented to her. She and I had talked (privately) about our jobs (we’re both in human services). She got angry with me (she’s crazy) because she couldn’t control me and she wanted me to get an abortion (okay; demanded). She felt since she was trying IVF, Clomid, etc. and couldn’t get pregant it’s not good we’re having our fifth. So… I got fired for “going out into the community and spreading malicious lies and gossip” about the agency.

I know this is for the best. I went straightaway to my priest and cried/talked to him for a bit. This is scary. We’re down to one income now and things are tight. We’re going to do fine but I’m humiliated, etc. My co-workers were like family to me! Grrrr… My supervisor cried while she was firing me.

I’m so sad. 😦

But… I’m relieved strangely and very, very happy to be home with our dumplings and our soon-to-be baby. I was going to quit after the first of the year/birth but now it’s forced on me. Yikes.

Thanks for “listening” to me! It is appreciated.

Cara
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PFyou
 
If you want this job, you might want to talk to an attorney. Firing somone who is pregnant without very solid, job-related proof is actionable in most places.
 
Very sorry that it happened like that, but happy that you got away from her drama in one way or another. 🙂 Focus on what’s important and go forward and succeed. 👍
 
I am sorry this happened to you ScareBear.

Your amazing attitude will strengthen others.

You are in my prayers.
 
Cara,

If you intend to work in the same field at a later time or to file for unemployment benefits, you will have to argue that the “cause” for which you were fired is not valid. Since both you and your friend work in the same field, it is entirely plausible that she baited you to reveal said details. It is also entirely plausible that she invented further “details” to get you into further trouble, since she knows the perils of the industry and you were most likely not given a transcript of her “complaint” to check for honesty.

At the very least, get an apology from your old employer and for them to strike the “offense” from your record.

Corki’s advice is good.
Corki said:
If you want this job, you might want to talk to an attorney. Firing somone who is pregnant without very solid, job-related proof is actionable in most places.
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Why can’t she just adopt?

That was an extremely selfish thing for her to do.
 
I’m sorry to hear what happened. I will pray for you too!

A consultation with an attorney might be a good idea in order to preserve your unemployment benefits. Basically, it sounds to me that they fired you over unsubstantiated gossip.
 
My prayers for you and your family.
Mother Mary please pray for Cara and her family.
 
Ditto what Corki said. And file for unemployment immediately. The process varies by state, but in mine, you might lose on the first go-round (they’ll say you were terminated for cause). Then you appeal, and they have to prove you did what they fired you for. When they can’t prove it, you get your unemployment.
 
Perhaps she baited you but as a manger I shake my head. We have a nasty girl on our staff who we have had to go through a ton of paperwork to document and (nearly) fire. She quit.

One of the assistant managers talked adnasedum about this to her favorite co-worker. She did it in front of a coustomer…who happened to be a seceret shoppper. She has worked for the compamy for 10 years and was disqualified from the promotion she wanted…basically indefinatly (3yrs min). Because her wage isnt enough to support her and her daughter she will be quitting also.

Friend or not this is serious. Get an atourney but dont expect much.
 
agnes_therese said:
Ditto what Corki said. And file for unemployment immediately. The process varies by state, but in mine, you might lose on the first go-round (they’ll say you were terminated for cause). Then you appeal, and they have to prove you did what they fired you for. When they can’t prove it, you get your unemployment.
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And you have a paperwork trail that they couldn’t prove wrongdoing.
 
To add to the consensus, I would seek legal advice. Sounds like you were fired on the grounds of hearsay.

Question though. Does the US have unfair and wrongful dismissal laws? If so you should be able to argue your case under those.
 
This makes no sense. You can’t be fired for gossip. Unless you were questioned and agreed to the statements you made, your former company has no cause to fire you. Apply for unemployment, go to a hearing if it is requested and pray a lot about your next move.

You and your family are in my prayers.
 
US unfair and wrongful dismissal laws are complicated, vary from state to state and sometimes differ depending on the type of employer. Without knowing where the OP is from and being able to research those laws for that jurisdiction, one can’t really say much. But I see a separate issue with the stated reasons. Ability to fire an employee does not necessarily translate into ability to choose any grounds of dismissal with any stated reasons one’s heart desires.

If I had on my desk a document accusing me of spreading malicious lies in clear print and knew for fact the only evidence were a former friend volunteering to betray a private conversation, I would be suing. And I suppose the former employer would be settling since I can’t imagine him longing to explain to the jury (if available) how he arrived at the conclusion that the employee was spreading malicious lies on the basis of what the employee told a single person (and friend at that) in private. Then again, depending on the jurisdiction, a court may be unwilling to examine simple reasons for dismissal on the point of defamation as if that could endanger the employer’s freedom to dismiss people (courts sometimes like this type of logic).

But as for the OP (and sorry to address you only in the third paragraph!) I tend to agree with you it’s only for the best. I’d be happy to be rid of an employer being ready to fire me and make up accusations basing on information received from a single clearly interested person. Shame for the employer and very poor act. I hope you can find a better job and if the reasons for dismissal could in any way harm your chances of getting a new job, I’d go to an attorney.
 
As other posters have said, please, please go to an attorney. I was fired from a job when a co-worker accused me of not passing on information that she was sick and unable to work. This affected my ability to get a job in any field as I had that on my record. I was able to take the company to court and got an apology and compensation (which I never received as they went bust a few months later). I cannot believe that a company can fire you on the evidence of a “friend”. Unless she had recorded your conversations there is only her word for it. I’m guessing that they heard this very unstable person - in the same field - on the phone saying, “I know all sorts of nasty things about you” and panicked.

If she can demand a friend has an abortion because she can’t have children, is it possible that she threatened to spread the things she said you’d told her unless they fired you? Please, please go to an attorney before it is too late. if you wait, not only are your unemployment payments at risk, your chances of success can be lower. This is about clearing your name, not getting money.
 
Thank you for all of your support. I did not sleep last night!

Talked to a legal guy. This is an at-will employment state; they can fire for me for pretty much anything. My company’s point is that I slandered them “to the community.” They “can no longer trust” me. They could have taken me to court for slander, but according to my boss, she talked them out of it because I’m pregnant. :doh2:

Nothing I had said was untrue. I should have taken my concernes (HIPPA-confidentiality breaking and inappropriate behavior) up the food chain with documentation. I was considering it here and there. I should have. How do you go to your boss when she is one of the people doing stuff? I went to her boss about this and those two reminded me how tight they are.

I guess things got said to co-workers (there are no boundaries there). My last afternoon at work a couple of co-workers were talking about some… uh… sexual matters. They saw me and stopped and said sarcastically, “Oh, we should practice better boundaries. I would hate for the appropriateness Nazis to get us. Don’t want a human resources report on this.”

Well, I just applied for unemployment online. We’ll see how things go. I was up all night. This is a huge stress. Part of me was thinking, How come I decide to go to church, study the Bible, take this Catholic correspondance course, start praying regularly… and all this happens!!! :eek:

You know, the thoughts we have in those dark, exhausted, lonely hours. 😦

Thanks for you kind words and support. I am seriously appreciating it.

Cara
 
Cara, everybody who’s withholding payment, firing someone, denying to perform a promise etc. will always cite a lot of “legal” reasons, including some more things he could do but will not. In some cases that person will indeed have the law on his side but in most cases it’s bogus. I can’t fathom how they could possibly prove slander in your case and IMHO they are crossing and have crossed the line of defamation in the dismissal grounds they gave you but I must stress I’m not an American lawyer and I don’t even know which state you’re in, so I can’t give you reliable advice.
 
ScareBear said:
Thank you for all of your support. I did not sleep last night!

Talked to a legal guy. This is an at-will employment state; they can fire for me for pretty much anything. My company’s point is that I slandered them “to the community.” They “can no longer trust” me. They could have taken me to court for slander, but according to my boss, she talked them out of it because I’m pregnant. :doh2:

Nothing I had said was untrue. I should have taken my concernes (HIPPA-confidentiality breaking and inappropriate behavior) up the food chain with documentation. I was considering it here and there. I should have. How do you go to your boss when she is one of the people doing stuff? I went to her boss about this and those two reminded me how tight they are.

I guess things got said to co-workers (there are no boundaries there). My last afternoon at work a couple of co-workers were talking about some… uh… sexual matters. They saw me and stopped and said sarcastically, “Oh, we should practice better boundaries. I would hate for the appropriateness Nazis to get us. Don’t want a human resources report on this.”

Well, I just applied for unemployment online. We’ll see how things go. I was up all night. This is a huge stress. **Part of me was thinking, How come I decide to go to church, study the Bible, take this Catholic correspondance course, start praying regularly… and all this happens!!! ** :eek:

You know, the thoughts we have in those dark, exhausted, lonely hours. 😦

Thanks for you kind words and support. I am seriously appreciating it.

Cara
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Cara,

I am very sorry to hear that you are in this situation. As a father of 5 with a wife that stays at home while I work 2 jobs to support the family (all while driving a 1997 car with no AC in this heat), I understand how tough this will be and what a sacrifice it will be for you and your family. I do not want to provide “employment advice” as I feel that what you have received so far have been solid points and great advice. (what I have come to expect from CAF memebers)

I want to focus on what I have in bold above. I figure that this statement has been said with a sense of frustration and maybe it is not the how you “really” feel, but I wanted to say that for every door that is closed, God opens another one. It is not easy to see that, it is not easy to know what HIS will is for us in our lives. But it becomes a test of faith and trust. Take today’s gospel for example, the Gentile woman that came to Jesus asking for her daughter to be healed. Jesus did not heal her right away. The disciples were asking Him to send her away. He told her “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” (Matthew 15:26), seemingly dismissing her, yet He was testing her faith. She persisted saying “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.” (Matthew 15:27) and the Lord told her great is her faith and healed her daughter.

The point? It is about persistance and faith in God. It is hard to see that now, I know, I have been let go by companies in the past, once while my wife was pregnant with our second child. It is scary, the unknown of what God has planned for you is never something that is easy to walk into, but it is a path that we, as followers of Christ, walk willingly with our cross on our shoulders and smiles on our faces. Jesus never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it.

Remember to focus on God and your family right now. Look into stay at home jobs while you traverse the land of the unemployed searching for jobs. I do not know your family situation, but this could be a blessing or an answer to a prayer that you forgot that you had asked the Lord for in the past.

God’s blessings to you during this time.

(Be sure that you have the medical insurance side taken care of as well)
 
*Part of me was thinking, How come I decide to go to church, study the Bible, take this Catholic correspondance course, start praying regularly… and all this happens!!! *

All I can say about this is that when the Devil sees a soul going toward the Lord he tries to rock our faith. God will provide. Sorry you are going through this. I know platitudes don’t help much, but people forget that we are under attack even if it’s not from the world. Stay strong you are a shining example to others.

God bless.
 
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