Wow, that is a really tough situation (and sorry for referring to you as “she”…I was following the crowd). It doesn’t seem like your Youth Minister is handling the whole thing as well as he should (and the personal comments about you being a bad priest unless you change is a little uncalled for).
Now the question is, what do you do? I’d like to piggyback off of what Ted in Charlotte said:
First, to be fair, I’m not sure that it is the OP that is trying to prove that “he is right”. Rather, it seems more that some other posters are indingnant on his behalf.
That said, we cannot approach this situation in a vaccuum of Church documents and CDWDS letters. Yes, the Youth Minister did not handle the situation as well as he could have. And, yes, perhaps you are correct that you have every right to kneel and not be denied Communion. But, the fact is, in real life, people don’t always respond the way they should. So here are your options as I see them:
Talk to the pastor about the situation. And what are the possible results from this?
*]The pastor agrees with you 100 % and immediately fires the Youth Minister for stepping out of line. This seems unlikely.
*]The pastor agrees with the Youth Minister 100% and tells you exactly the same thing: stand or leave your position.
*]The pastor takes some sort of pastorally middle ground. He doesn’t fire the Youth Minister, but he sits both of you down to talk (either separately, together, or both) and allows you to receive while kneeling without losing your position.
*]The pastor does nothing and tells you to work it out amongst yourselves (thereby leaving you in the exact position you are in right now).
Result #3 may look good on the surface, but you have to keep in mind that, even if you succeed in getting your way and not losing your position, your relationship with your Youth Minister will never be the same. This will have repercussions in that your working relationship will be strained (which may hurt the effectiveness of your Youth Ministry program as a whole). You may find your Youth Minister making things more difficult for you in other things.
Your second option is:
Follow the Youth Minister’s request. Based on the interaction you have posted, it seems likely that, even if you pull out a notarized, signed copy of the CDWDS’s letter, he still will not change his mind. So, if you opt not to take the issue to your pastor, it seems you will not likely convince the Youth Minister to change his mind. Maybe it would be “unjust” for the Youth Minister to let you go over this. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
Your third option is:
Voluntarily leave your position of Youth Ministry. This does not seem to be what you want to do, but it is an option, nonetheless.
It’s easy for us here on the internet to shake our heads in righteous indignation that your “rights” are being violated, point to this or that Church document or Curial statement, and say “You’re right, OP. Case closed. Now, tell that Youth Minister where to get off!”
But the reality is not so simple. You have to live with the consequences, and there are no easy answers. You have to decide what is likely to happen, what might possibly happen, and what you can live with. Can you stand your ground (no pun intended) and kneel, knowing that you will not be able to minister to the youth of your parish? Can you (perhaps temporarily) let go of your desire to kneel in favor of keeping the peace and keeping your position? Would you really rather not receive Jesus at all rather than receive Him standing? What’s more important, the posture, or the Sacrament?
I can’t tell you what to do. No one here can. But I think it does you a disservice to paint the picture as clear cut, black and white. You could be 100% in the right. That doesn’t mean you still won’t get fired.
IMO, it comes down to what is most important to you: the posture in which you receive? Your working relationship with your Youth Minister? The great privilege and responsibility of working with the youth of the parish to bring them closer to Christ? Only you can answer these questions.