I hate being alone *rant time*

[CountrySinger]

*It could cause a stir. *

It would. But it would be funny until I get put in the mental institution. Hey, a free trip!

 

[LilyElain]

Lotus~

You should make this Lent a time of learning to trust…trusting in God’s plan, trusting in the woman he has for you, trusting that he knows the deepest desires of your heart and wishes to give that to you, trusting that you were created for a purpose and that if you are following God’s will for you, it will all work out… this is your cross to bear at this time…bear it faithfully!
This is something I struggle with everyday…but learning to trust brings happiness and peace with one’s situation…whatever that may be…

 

[Norseman82]

Lotus~

You should make this Lent a time of learning to trust…trusting in God’s plan, trusting in the woman he has for you

Where in Catholic teaching does it say that God has ONE and ONLY ONE woman in mind for him? This is a very dangerous concept that can only increase self-doubt and the ability to be manipulated.

 

[Norseman82]

It would. But it would be funny until I get put in the mental institution. Hey, a free trip!

Well, at least at your wedding your first dance could be Icehouse’s “Crazy” - “You gotta be crazy baby / to want a guy like me”…

 

[LilyElain]

Where in Catholic teaching does it say that God has ONE and ONLY ONE woman in mind for him? This is a very dangerous concept that can only increase self-doubt and the ability to be manipulated.

I knew someone was going to point that out…I mean that if it is his vocation, he will meet a lady to marry…I did not mean there is only one lady for him out there…

 

[whatevergirl]

*Just curious Norseman…why do you feel that is a ‘‘dangerous’’ concept? You can only marry one woman someday…and I firmly believe in praying that God enlightens one to being able to discern if someone is the ‘‘right one.’’ (if you are dating someone say for a while) I did this with my husband, and I firmly believe that ***I ***didn’t will it to happen, but God’s will prevailed…and I was tuned into it.

Just curious as to what you mean here. I have seen you make the comment elsewhere here. *

 

[whatevergirl]

I think I know what you mean…no need to reply, norseman. I think that the way I’m viewing it, might be different than how you took Lily’s comment. I’m looking at it more as a discernment issue, and asking God if it be His will that we marry a particular person…I think you are talking more about how if we feel there’s only one person, we might manipulate circumstances to find that one person. I think I get it…So…nevermind. lol

 

[Norseman82]

I knew someone was going to point that out…I mean that if it is his vocation, he will meet a lady to marry…I did not mean there is only one lady for him out there…

That’s not what you said:

trusting in God’s plan, trusting in the woman He has for you,

 

[CountrySinger]

Well, at least at your wedding your first dance could be Icehouse’s “Crazy” - “You gotta be crazy baby / to want a guy like me”…

How about Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” instead? Maybe cynicism has it’s benefits.
I won’t be walking around yelling “I AM BEAUTIFUL!”

 

[LilyElain]

I think I know what you mean…no need to reply, norseman. I think that the way I’m viewing it, might be different than how you took Lily’s comment. I’m looking at it more as a discernment issue, and asking God if it be His will that we marry a particular person…I think you are talking more about how if we feel there’s only one person, we might manipulate circumstances to find that one person. I think I get it…So…nevermind. lol

Exactly!

 

[Norseman82]

*Just curious Norseman…why do you feel that is a ‘‘dangerous’’ concept? You can only marry one woman someday…and I firmly believe in praying that God enlightens one to being able to discern if someone is the ‘‘right one.’’ (if you are dating someone say for a while) I did this with my husband, and I firmly believe that ***I ****didn’t will it to happen, but God’s will prevailed…and I was tuned into it.

Just curious as to what you mean here. I have seen you make the comment elsewhere here.

Because someone can say “don’t marry this person, God really wants you to marry that person” or “you are wrong for rejecting that person, because in doing so you are sinning by defying God”. Or, one can continue into an infinite loop of “maybe God doesn’t want me to marry this person” every time one is afraid to make a decision, and at that rate one will NEVER get married.

Additionally, the normal rule of thumb in life is “Work as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God”. If one implies that God will have Scotty beam a spouse into our driveway only when He’s ready, that really kills the male drive to pursue and do the “work as if everything depended on you” part.

 

[Norseman82]

How about Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” instead? Maybe cynicism has it’s benefits.
I won’t be walking around yelling “I AM BEAUTIFUL!”

What came into my mind was “Stuart Smalley”…

 

[whatevergirl]

Because someone can say “don’t marry this person, God really wants you to marry that person” or “you are wrong for rejecting that person, because in doing so you are sinning by defying God”. Or, one can continue into an infinite loop of “maybe God doesn’t want me to marry this person” every time one is afraid to make a decision, and at that rate one will NEVER get married.

Additionally, the normal rule of thumb in life is “Work as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God”. If one implies that God will have Scotty beam a spouse into our driveway only when He’s ready, that really kills the male drive to pursue and do the “work as if everything depended on you” part.

Yeah, I don’t believe that we sit idly back…remember, we reap what we sow…that is Biblical, therefore, we know that God wants us to be an active participant in our own lives…but, we should prayerfully ask Him for help in discernment…in even matters of romance. I don’t believe Lily meant it that way, though…

 

[chevalier]

Point is one right person or responsible choice, there’s little more to it.

 

[ambevil]

Lotus,

I’m sorry you feel the way you do about yourself. In order to “get a girl”, so to speak, you need to change your attitude about yourself. You need to get to know the man God has planned for you to be and you need to strive to be him. I think to do this you need to recognize your truer and even deeper love for the God who, in fact, made the very beautiful women your heart so deeply desires. We all have this deep, deep desire to love and be loved. You are no different than anyone else. Recognize, though, that what your heart desires the most is total union with God, your Father and your Creator. If God made woman, and woman was made in His image, made to reflect and mirror a certain mystery of God that is, at best, expressed in her beauty and desirability, how much more beautiful and desirable, then, is God??? Know this: that God is your ultimate end, and that your heart is and will ever be restless until it rests in Him. Our desires for the opposite sex are only meant to reflect the truer and deeper love for the God who made us, and if you are left to your desires long enough, and assuming you remain true to your heart, you will inevitably be lead straight to God. So, try going to Him first, approach the Father who loves you and wants nothing more than for you to be complete, to be at peace, to be fulfilled, and He will grant you the desires of your heart (note: they aren’t always what we expect them to be).

Going back to my first point, you need to get to know the man you were made to be. Why do you hate yourself? I think that’s incredibly silly, but I understand. Everyone goes through this, everyone also needs to stop at some point. Stop now. Because if you want to be honest with yourself you’ll know that you were meant for a greater purpose than restless searching, heart wrenching, and continuous discouragement and disappointment. You must know what you were made for. And so to do this you have to, first, stop listening to me and, second, get reading. I recommend four amazing authors: first, get your hands on the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge (the female version of this book, Captivating, is what helped me as a woman get through the same dilemma your describing here that all men and women go through at some level or another. I recommend reading this afterward because it offers a great perspective into the soul of woman.) Here’s a description of the book: squidoo.com/wildatheart.
Second, John Paul II’s Theology of the Body is one of, if not the, most beautiful works in the history of mankind. He explains the purpose of the body, the purpose of our desires, and what love between the sexes truly reflects. This work of art will change your life, I’m almost convinced of it. Christopher West is almost perfect at explaining JPII’s very difficult to read writing and philosophy. Of his books I recommend Theology of the Body Explained and Good News About Sex and Marriage (especially the first chapter). Fourth author I recommend is the Holy Spirit. Get to know Christ in the Gospels, He is your absolute best and most promising model. If you want a good Catholic woman as a wife you’ve got to be a good Catholic man, and Christ is the Ultimate Man. Your purpose as man is to lay down your life for your woman. Christ did that for His woman, the beautiful Catholic Church, to the greatest and most passionate degree. Know him, enter into the wounds of His Sacred Heart, and ask for His steady guidance and help. He WILL help you. He loves you inconceivably.
I lastly recommend saying one simple prayer every night (St. Augustine used to pray this same prayer): “God, help me to know You and help me to know myself.” Simply by knowing God and knowing yourself you will get closer to the man (and saint) you were made to and desire to be.
God bless you and you will most certainly be in my prayers
In Christ,
Angela

 

[StJudePray4Me]

Novel Idea-

Cheer up. Others like being around happy people.

There you go. I just saved you thousands in therapy.

OK, I know I am sensitive about thing like this, because of personal experience, but…

If the OP is clinically depressed, or has an anxiety problem, this is ridiculous advice.

Often, people who have never been depressed (not just sad or blue - but actually depressed) don’t realize that the very DEFINITION of depression is – You can’t cheer up! You can’t think positively! You want to, but you can’t!

Depression is not about weak people wallowing in their self-indulgent, oh-woe-is-me feelings. It is beyond our control. So to the OP – if you feel you can not overcome these negative/depressed feelings, or your anxiety is overwhelming – maybe therapy could help. I know it sure helped me.

Rant over.

 

[LilyElain]

OK, I know I am sensitive about thing like this, because of personal experience, but…

If the OP is clinically depressed, or has an anxiety problem, this is ridiculous advice.

Often, people who have never been depressed (not just sad or blue - but actually depressed) don’t realize that the very DEFINITION of depression is – You can’t cheer up! You can’t think positively! You want to, but you can’t!

Depression is not about weak people wallowing in their self-indulgent, oh-woe-is-me feelings. It is beyond our control. So to the OP – if you feel you can not overcome these negative/depressed feelings, or your anxiety is overwhelming – maybe therapy could help. I know it sure helped me.

Rant over.

I do not think that was a rant… I think it was good advice to someone!

 

[CountrySinger]

OK, I know I am sensitive about thing like this, because of personal experience, but…

If the OP is clinically depressed, or has an anxiety problem, this is ridiculous advice.

Often, people who have never been depressed (not just sad or blue - but actually depressed) don’t realize that the very DEFINITION of depression is – You can’t cheer up! You can’t think positively! You want to, but you can’t!

Depression is not about weak people wallowing in their self-indulgent, oh-woe-is-me feelings. It is beyond our control. So to the OP – if you feel you can not overcome these negative/depressed feelings, or your anxiety is overwhelming – maybe therapy could help. I know it sure helped me.

Rant over.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

I have been thinking all day about the OP here, as well as other young adults on this board who have expressed similar feelings (not being able to find other nice, Catholic singles) and I had an idea.

What about creating a group? Not a “youth group” and not a “dating service” but a group that plans outings? A bunch of potential things came to mind:

Going hiking
Going to a museum
Going to a concert
An aquarium
See a movie
Having a softball game
a BarBeQue to watch a baseball or football game
wine tasting
horse show
NASCAR races
boat shows
Card games night

It goes on forever – just think of things that both women & men like to do with their friends. If you planned 4 or 5 outings for a month, and then ask all surrounding parishes to put something in the bulletin… you could even make a facebook page for the group and take suggestions, etc.

I think it would take the pressure off, as it’s not a “date” – just a bunch of single Catholic adults getting together to do fun stuff. It would create opportunities for conversation - just natural conversation about whatever you are doing. Even if you didn’t meet a girl right away, I’ll bet you could make some new friends and broaden your social circle, and not feel so alone on the weekends…

What do you all think?

 

[LilyElain]

I have been thinking all day about the OP here, as well as other young adults on this board who have expressed similar feelings (not being able to find other nice, Catholic singles) and I had an idea.

What about creating a group? Not a “youth group” and not a “dating service” but a group that plans outings? A bunch of potential things came to mind:

Going hiking
Going to a museum
Going to a concert
An aquarium
See a movie
Having a softball game
a BarBeQue to watch a baseball or football game
wine tasting
horse show
NASCAR races
boat shows
Card games night

It goes on forever – just think of things that both women & men like to do with their friends. If you planned 4 or 5 outings for a month, and then ask all surrounding parishes to put something in the bulletin… you could even make a facebook page for the group and take suggestions, etc.

I think it would take the pressure off, as it’s not a “date” – just a bunch of single Catholic adults getting together to do fun stuff. It would create opportunities for conversation - just natural conversation about whatever you are doing. Even if you didn’t meet a girl right away, I’ll bet you could make some new friends and broaden your social circle, and not feel so alone on the weekends…

What do you all think?

I love it! I suggested this on another thread…and got a bit shot down…but I think it is a great idea! not that we all live in the same place, etc. But it would help getting young adult Catholics together!