I "Hate" Mary? How can I change that?

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CrispSnowflake

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Every since I was a little girl, I was not close to Mary.
For me, it seems a little weird to pray to her.
She is not omnipresent nor omnipotent like Jesus.
How can she possibly hear our prayers? She cannot be in many places at once.

I can relate to Jesus because He was Man, but He was also God. He was tempted in the wilderness. He knows my thoughts, my actions, my everything.

Mary, at least how some Catholics portray her, does not seem human. Or I least I cannot relate to her. She was sinless. Jesus was sinless too, but He was God. He had a reason to be sinless. I can relate to the other female saints because they have sinned in the past, and strive to be holier like Jesus.

And I think we put too much emphasis on her. I think to myself, what about Jesus?
When did we start adoring Mary, anyhow?

I remember when I was a little girl, maybe in 5th or 6th grade, and I said “I hated Mary”. I hope I don’t feel that way today. Maybe I am jealous of her because she is so perfect? Like what did she do to deserve to be this perfect? Or Holy? I cannot relate to her.
I feel, that many Catholics, view her as a goddess.
You cannot say a “Hail Mary” in your head, or say the Rosary with “Hail Marys” in your head, because she will not hear you. Only Jesus will hear you. Only Jesus knows your thoughts! (Thank goodness because, demons can’t hear me say how much I hate them, hahhahahhah 😛 )

But I guess I give her credit. Everyday, she must have felt she was not worthy to be Jesus’s mother. It must have been hard to raise Jesus. I cannot imagine the sorrow she must have felt when Jesus died on the cross. To me, that is the ‘human’ Mary I can relate to.

I have watched this beautiful video, but nothing has struck me in the head yet.
youtube.com/watch?v=kUdYeYy3NQA

Do you think Satan or one of his demons has tempted me to “hate” her? I just cannot adore her. I don’t know why? I DON’T want to hate her. I want to view her as my mother some day.
I do want to adore her, but for right now, something is holding me back.
I talk to God about this “Mary” subject a lot. And I try to make sense of it myself. Can you please help me with this!

HELP?!?! :confused: 😦
 
CrispSnowflake said:
Every since I was a little girl, I was not close to Mary.
For me, it seems a little weird to pray to her.
She is not omnipresent nor omnipotent like Jesus.
How can she possibly hear our prayers? She cannot be in many places at once.

I can relate to Jesus because He was Man, but He was also God. He was tempted in the wilderness. He knows my thoughts, my actions, my everything.

Mary, at least how some Catholics portray her, does not seem human. Or I least I cannot relate to her. She was sinless. Jesus was sinless too, but He was God. He had a reason to be sinless. I can relate to the other female saints because they have sinned in the past, and strive to be holier like Jesus.

And I think we put too much emphasis on her. I think to myself, what about Jesus?
When did we start adoring Mary, anyhow?

I remember when I was a little girl, maybe in 5th or 6th grade, and I said “I hated Mary”. I hope I don’t feel that way today. Maybe I am jealous of her because she is so perfect? Like what did she do to deserve to be this perfect? Or Holy? I cannot relate to her.
I feel, that many Catholics, view her as a goddess.
You cannot say a “Hail Mary” in your head, or say the Rosary with “Hail Marys” in your head, because she will not hear you. Only Jesus will hear you. Only Jesus knows your thoughts! (Thank goodness because, demons can’t hear me say how much I hate them, hahhahahhah 😛 )

But I guess I give her credit. Everyday, she must have felt she was not worthy to be Jesus’s mother. It must have been hard to raise Jesus. I cannot imagine the sorrow she must have felt when Jesus died on the cross. To me, that is the ‘human’ Mary I can relate to.

I have watched this beautiful video, but nothing has struck me in the head yet.
youtube.com/watch?v=kUdYeYy3NQA

Do you think Satan or one of his demons has tempted me to “hate” her? I just cannot adore her. I don’t know why? I DON’T want to hate her. I want to view her as my mother some day.
I do want to adore her, but for right now, something is holding me back.
I talk to God about this “Mary” subject a lot. And I try to make sense of it myself. Can you please help me with this!

HELP?!?! :confused: 😦
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Normally, I would not do this, but I think it’s OK this time. I wrote an article on Mary in my blog. You may find that many of your assumptions are mistaken.

Brother’s Window to the Faith At the top, click on Blessed Mother.

You’ll find that Sacred Scripture can answer much of what you’re struggling with.
 
I don’t think you really hate the woman… you just don’t understand her.

There are some great books that describe her and will bring better understanding.

Just a few things I would like to bring up :
  • you love and trust Jesus ? Trust the mother He CHOSE for us… she’s soo beautiful and sweet and motherly…how can you actually hate your Mother?
  • Her sinlessness does not make her less human…in fact…she exemplifies the way we were created and what God has called us to be. Sin …in a sense…makes us “less” human. Sin is not a natural part of the human condition and was never meant for us. If you have a problem with Mary…you have a problem with yourself and what you’re called and created to be.
  • Being Christ’s Mother… they share genetics, blood and He used her to come into this world and was incarnate into her own flesh! …Deep!
  • God has honored and shown love to His mother…should we do less ?
In the end…whether you want to Love your Mother or not… know she loves you (because being so connected to Her son and therefore Gods plan and will of our salvation), you ARE a daughter of hers in the spiritual realm since she literally “birthed” our spiritual life in Christ…thereby, working with Gods plan…opened the door to life and union with God!..in the end…she just wants to bring you closer to Her Son…so you don’t NEED a personal relationship with her. She loves you anyway and always prays for you.

Do you realize what that woman went through when she gave her “yes” to Gods plan ??? Her life was turned instantly…what’ever plans she had for life at her young age…GONE. She was looked on as a whore by her own people and possibly to be put to death! She moved when God told them to uproot! Can you imagine the scorn and disdain being the mother of God in a culture that had a totally different view of God! And always worrying about your son being killed…and what do you get for giving over your life to Gods plans ??? your worst nightmare…your son is tortured and slaughtered before your very eyes for your efforts!

So at least…give her a little respect.

For her holy and selfless life, for God honors her, for the role she played in your salvation (we all have parts to play in this…the spiritual life isint just you and God…there is a communal aspect as well). , And remember : “Honor your MOTHER and father”…She’s a Mother to you in the spiritual realm and is deserving of your love, honor and respect.

P.s. I know it was probably a slip of the tounge : but adoration is due to God and God alone.

God bless.

God bless
 
WOW! that is a serious issue for sure.

As a former atheist, it was our Blessed Mother Mary who “introduced” me to her son, my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.👍 (long story worthy of its own thread)

For me, Mary being able to hear our prayers and intercede for us shows the incredible love of God the Father for His children. All through salvation history, God has spoken to us by way of the prophets and even a donkey (really cool btw:D) We are not all independent-isolated individuals all striving for heaven, we are One Family in Christ Jesus with the same goal of attaining Heaven. God, in His mercy and love, has given us many Saints to help us along the way. Mary being the GREATEST!!

I look at it this way. As a mom, my son has come to me countless times with,“Hay mom, can you ask dad if I can have or go so-and-so?” as a parent, we have all heard this petition from our kids at one time or another. in a way, that is kinda what we as Catholics are doing concerning Mary.

But a more important way of looking at this. Jesus CHOSE to go through Mary to come to us (virginal birth) we as Catholics, CHOOSE to go through Mary to come to Jesus (like I did)! Do we have to ?Nope…But Jesus showed us that it was OK to, after all, He could have chosen any way He wanted to come to us, and He Chose Mary.

Can she hear a million gadzillion prayers all at once?,ONLY through the grace of God can she, not by any “power” of her own. It’s by the grace of God, that Mary can read our hearts and hear our prayers, and she ALWAYS does the perfect will of the Father and will take these prayer to Him.

Mary is the moon that reflects the Light of the Son, not out shine Him.
 
Good posts on this thread; I will share a few with my non Catholic friends who see the Catholics as emphasizing Mary too much. Nothing can detract from Jesus for he is the savior of the World.

Well said all of you posters!~
Mary.
 
Crisp Snowflake, even if you “hate” Our Blessed Mother, She still loves you.

Why don’t you say, every day, one Hail Mary? It doesn’t matter how you “feel” - just say it, even if saying it repulses you. Tell Our Lady that you will be saying this Hail Mary every day so that She will change your heart.

I guarantee you that She will. And in an astounding way! 🙂
 
I am a convert. I converted to Catholicism because I believed it was the Church our Lord started, yet I really did not get Mary at the time. The Lord eventually began to reveal many things about his mother to me.

I would simply encourage you pray for enlightenment on this matter. Be patient and open. He will show you the beauty of his mother. And then you will want her for your mother too.

You have been given some excellent insights here, and I am sure more will come. God bless you.
 
I am back in the Catholic church after having been away for 16 years. I am trying to understand how Mary is our mother. I understand that Jesus told John on the cross something to the effect of “this is your mother”. But how do we know that Jesus didn’t intend that for John only, and not all of the rest of the church? I understand the OP’s struggles.
 
Okay, I’ll tackle the Mary being sinless part. Mary was redeemed from the beginning
in anticipation, so I hear, of the birth of Jesus, that she wasn’t righteous on her own,
but by the merit of Jesus for reason that she would be his mother.

How can she hear our prayers? Well she isn’t bound in flesh as we are, the soul has
a greater capacity in perception separated from limited flesh than within corrupted
corporeal form.And saints such as Mary can, if God allows, be in more
than one place at a time, because again: Their souls are
not bound to corporeal form as you are.
Now there are tons, I believe, of Old Testament examples for how God places so much
importance on the “Queen Mother” (Mother of the King), and since the New Testament
often reflects the Old Testament, Mary as the Mother of Jesus, Son of David, would
most certainly be hailed as Queen Mother.

In terms of “adoring”, here is where Protestants totally BOMB. We as Catholics do not
“adore” Mary, such only goes to God, but if the Angel of the Visitation can say “Hail
Mary”, who are we to not do likewise? Protestants think we put too much emphasis on
Mary, more because they do not know Jesus that well. It is in REALLY knowing Jesus
that we also begin to understand REALLY who Mary is in the scheme of things.

I don’t believe I’ve ever heard anything about Mary not being able to hear “Hail Mary” in
our thoughts, because AGAIN: She in incorporeal, so you can’t say that because you
in the flesh can’t hear thoughts, she can’t either. And don’t feel so safe when it comes
to demons, because they are the ones who tend to twist our thoughts and lead us to
temptation and sin.

Like what did Mary do to deserve to be this perfect? Nothing, believe it or not. But as
the destined to be Mother of God, she was redeemed at the moment of her existence
by the merits of the Son of God whom she would bear.

I would really consider that evil forces are moving you to dislike Mary because accor-
ding to Catholic thought, one cannot know Jesus REALLY until he/she sees his life
through the eyes of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Sounds like the Devil is trying to block
that away from you. Mary also plays a very important role in salvation, because as
Mother of Jesus, there are very few things that Jesus won’t do at the request of his
own Mother, hence the end of Hail Mary:“Pray of us Sinners,
Now and at the Hour
of our Death.”
DON’T ADORE HER, that is only for God, our ador-
ation, BUT treat Mary like she is the Mother of God.

PLEASE ANYBODY, ON ACCOUNT OF
THE NATURE OF THIS THREAD, PLEASE
CORRECT ME IF I ERRED!!! THANK YOU!
 
I’ll just touch on the prayers to Mary part… Just as we ask people on earth (priests, parents, siblings, and friends) to pray for us, we can also ask those in heaven to pray for us.

James 5:16 …The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Mary is the holiest and most righteous of all created people. Therefore, in light of the Scripture passage above, we ask for her prayers often. 🙂

http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/946591_176462109191796_620294641_n.jpg
 
psalm126 said:
I am back in the Catholic church after having been away for 16 years. I am trying to understand how Mary is our mother. I understand that Jesus told John on the cross something to the effect of “this is your mother”. But how do we know that Jesus didn’t intend that for John only, and not all of the rest of the church? I understand the OP’s struggles.
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Well let me try to address that in a simple way. Mary is the spouse of the Holy Spirit. This is how Jesus was conceived in her womb. Jesus is her firstborn. We are all children of God and Jesus is our brother. Who is our spiritual mother? Some would say the church, but Mary is also our spiritual mother through adoption by virtue of being the spouse of the Holy Spirit and God having adopted us.

In Revelation 12 there is a reference to a Woman and this is Mary. It says she has other children and the dragon makes war on them. This is a reference to us. This is why I believe he intended to give his mother to others besides John.
 
One stumbling block that kept me from talking to Mary is envy.
As you say, I find it hard to identify with someone who is blessed by God with no inclination to sin. I have to struggle, why shouldn’t she? How can she be an inspiration if she has no sin to struggle with?

I simply have to accept her blessedness. Her blessedness does not detract from the gifts that God has given me. Her graced life enriches the Church. In the end everything we have is a gift from God, so we are all blessed, so we can identify with her in the positive sense.
 
WOW!!! Abandoning the mother is but one step away from abandoning the Son. Please listen and take to heart all these post. They are all the TRUTH!!! God has a plan for everyone on this Earth. Even those that get cut short through abortion. His plan for Mother Mary was a divine plan and she is also known as the new Eve and Jesus is also known as the New Adam. You see when Christ came to meet his Mother while carrying the cross he said See I make all things new. Through Eve’s No to God by disobedience of eating of the forbidden fruit. Mary’s Yes to God reversed that then she concieved by the Holy Spirit. Therefore she became the New Eve. Doesn’t God take bad things that happen in the world and turn them into good? Well Christ suffered in the Garden the night before he died and he was tempted by asking The Father to remove the cup of suffering he was about to go through. He in turn said Yes by saying not my will but thine be done. His Yes to God reversed Adam’s no to God when he ate the forbidden fruit. If you see Mary as “bad” then you also see The Holy Trinity as “bad” B/C they all along with all of us are in God’s Divine Plan and it must insult him dearly when we critisize The Mother of God. I pray you see things differently after reading all these fine people’s post! God Bless!!!
 
psalm126 said:
I am back in the Catholic church after having been away for 16 years. I am trying to understand how Mary is our mother. I understand that Jesus told John on the cross something to the effect of “this is your mother”. But how do we know that Jesus didn’t intend that for John only, and not all of the rest of the church? I understand the OP’s struggles.
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St. Paul refers to the Church as the Body of Christ.

See multiple references: vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/audiences/alpha/data/aud19911120en.html

By eating and drinking his Body and Blood (Eucharist) we become members of his “extended” Body. Since, genetically, Mary provided the physicality of the Body and Blood of Jesus which became the sacrament of the Eucharist, she is the mother of all who become members of his Body, the Church. She is the mother of all who are one in the Body of Christ, the Church.

Recall Jesus’ words to Saul at their first encounter, “Saul, why do you persecute me?” Jesus words imply that Jesus viewed the Church as one with him. He is the Church, the Church is his physical body on earth. Mary was and remains the mother of his body, physically extended in space-time through the Church.
 
Just some random thoughts, not too well organized, regarding Our Blessed Mother Mary.

First of all, I too had some problems with Mary when I was younger. I said the Rosary occasionally, etc., but I always felt I held her at arms length and sort of saw her as disapproving - not of my sins, but me. Hmm, imagine my surprise when that changed as I resolved my own conflicts with mother figures in my past! In that process I felt supported by Mother Mary with great gentleness.

Also, I had heard it said that Mary always points to Jesus, that is, helps us know Him and become closer to Him. Check out the few Bible verses regarding Mary - the journey to Bethlehem as she is about to give birth, her praise of God in the annunciation and the response of her cousin Elizabeth, the Marriage at Cana when she really announces the beginning of His public ministry. If you ever get a chance to see the Michelangelo Pieta at the Vatican/St. Peters, do so. The immense sadness, pain, mingling with acceptance and love on her face is so perfectly captured that it appears inspired. Her lap is like an altar on which she offers us Jesus.

You have gotten a lot of good advice here, and thoughtful comments about Mary. Try asking her to help you get closer to her and to Jesus. She will.
 
God’s peace. This is primarily directed to poster Judas Thaddeus, who referred to Mary as “incorporeal”. By way of gentle correction–this is incorrect. The Church teaches (today, in fact celebrates!) that at the end of her earthly life, the Blessed Virgin Mary was assumed bodily into heaven. She is, if you like, a “first fruits” of the resurrection that awaits all the faithful. Her now-perfected, sinless, glorified body and immaculate soul are most capable of hearing our prayers and interceding for us. Rejoice! Blessings, ~Br. Carlo~
 
I certainly don’t “hate” Mary, but I find and have found myself, over the many years, not being able to draw close to her. I try, but I have no real feeling towards her. This upsets me, but I have prayed so much to have some kind of a devotion to her and it just has not happened. I feel frustrated that I can love Jesus, but cannot have any since of love for His Mother. I still try, but it really seem fruitless for me. I certainly don’t hate her, but I can seem to have any since of devotion to her.
I understand the OP’s frustration. I have had it most of my life. Actually, I feel guilty that I cannot feel something for Jesus’ Mother.

I do wonder if she never had the inclination to sin, how she can understand and know our struggles with temptation and sin, if it is something that she never experienced herself.
 
psalm126 said:
I am back in the Catholic church after having been away for 16 years. I am trying to understand how Mary is our mother. I understand that Jesus told John on the cross something to the effect of “this is your mother”. But how do we know that Jesus didn’t intend that for John only, and not all of the rest of the church? I understand the OP’s struggles.
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I always found Revelation 12 helpful in understanding this. First, John describes the woman in heaven clothed with the sun with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She gives birth to a son who rules the nations with an iron rod. Her son is obviously Jesus, since that reference to the rod of iron is from Psalm 2, a messianic psalm. So that would make the woman in Revelation be Mary, since she is the one who gave birth to the messiah. Well, at the end of Chapter 12, St. John says this:
Then the dragon was angry with the woman, and went off to make war on ***the rest of her children, all those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus. (Rev 12:17) ***
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According to Revelation, all Christians, those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus, are children of Mary.

Also, because we are adopted into Christ, we are able to call God our Father, it seems reasonable to think we would also receive Mary as our mother through Christ as well. 👍
 
Br.Carlo said:
God’s peace. This is primarily directed to poster Judas Thaddeus, who referred to Mary as “incorporeal”. By way of gentle correction–this is incorrect. The Church teaches (today, in fact celebrates!) that at the end of her earthly life, the Blessed Virgin Mary was assumed bodily into heaven. She is, if you like, a “first fruits” of the resurrection that awaits all the faithful. Her now-perfected, sinless, glorified body and immaculate soul are most capable of hearing our prayers and interceding for us. Rejoice! Blessings, ~Br. Carlo~
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Oy-Vey!!!
HOW DID I MISS THAT ?!?!?! 😊
Well no matter, problem is fixed, thank you!
 
My child of God,never turn away from Mary the Mother of God,Mother of Jesus.We must always turn to her,because threw her,she will bring you closer to Jesus her son.It is the Devil that is make you feel that way,for every soul he steers away from her,the more he enjoys it,for the Devil hates all that love and turn to Mary. Turn to Mary and ask her to forgive you ,than go to confession,and ask God for his forgiveness, that you didn,t mean what you said. After that, start saying the Rosary, for Our Lady,will protect you from his temptation and draw you closer to Jesus her son. I pray to Mary.for you to over come and change your ways.
Code: 
                                        God Bless
                                                     :harp:
 
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