I "Hate" Mary? How can I change that?

[njlisa]

There is a scriptural basis for the veneration of the Blessed Mother. I will give you some examples.

An angel of God paid tribute to her.

Luke 2
28 And coming to her, he [the angel] said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”
29 But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. …"

The Blessed Mother interceded for others during the wedding feast at Cana.

John 2
3 When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.”
4 [And] Jesus said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever he tells you."

Jesus gave us his Blessed Mother when He was on the Cross.

John 19:26
When Jesus saw his mother* and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.”

The Blessed Mother joins with us in prayer.
Acts 1
13 When they entered the city they went to the upper room where they were staying, Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James.
14 All these devoted themselves with one accord to prayer, together with some women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.

We will never be led astray in our devotion to the Blessed Mother. She is your Mother and the Mother of us all. Don’t hate her. She loves you more than you’ll ever know. She understands our concerns and always carries them to her Son. She always points to Our Lord Jesus. Her message is: Do whatever He tells you.

Watch “The Passion of the Christ” and concentrate on the relationship between Mary and Jesus and his followers. It’s very inspiring.

 

[Kal2012]

When I was a Protestant, I knew that Mary was the Mother of God. However, she was never talked about. In fact, women weren’t really talked about most of the time. Other people may have had other experiences, but my experiences in Protestantism were very male-oriented. As a woman, I felt left out and often wondered why 50% of the population wasn’t worthy of mention - except in that “we are all equal before God” way.

I knew the women were there because I read the Bible too and found them. However, it seemed odd that they were rarely talked about.

One of my biggest obstacles before I joined the church was Mary. After praying and reading, I found that I had a limited view of God that had to change. I tend to view Mary as my connection “into the club”. She’s everything a woman of God should be; everything we, as women, should strive to be. Why would we actively “hate” one of our own?

Honestly, I don’t get it. For me, accepting Mary’s role in the church was like climbing a huge mountain. I’m different now that I’m on the other side. I like to joke “there’s something about Mary” these days. Because my relationship with her son (and her) have changed me for the better.

I like how someone put it on another post, “No Mary, No Jesus”.

 

[HelenRose]

This may be a simplistic answer for such a serious question but maybe it will help. My two grandchildren are living with us. My grandson is five and my granddaughter is three. They are children and they argue and when I say “no”, once in awhile my grandson will pout and say “I hate you” I of course tell him that he does not hate me and that he shouldn’t say that. The point is. I strongly suspect that you don’t hate Mary. You may be angry for at her for reasons that are hidden deep in your heart. Perhaps when you were a child you were unfairly compared to her. But keep in mind that even though you feel this anger, Jesus understands and so does Mary. They will wrap you in their arms when you ask them to. You feel Jesus’ love now. Some day you will feel Mary’s. She loves you and understands.

 

[psalm126]

Well let me try to address that in a simple way. Mary is the spouse of the Holy Spirit. This is how Jesus was conceived in her womb. Jesus is her firstborn. We are all children of God and Jesus is our brother. Who is our spiritual mother? Some would say the church, but Mary is also our spiritual mother through adoption by virtue of being the spouse of the Holy Spirit and God having adopted us.

In Revelation 12 there is a reference to a Woman and this is Mary. It says she has other children and the dragon makes war on them. This is a reference to us. This is why I believe he intended to give his mother to others besides John.

Thank you SO much WaitingForJesus. This makes sense to me! I had never thought of it this way before.

 

[psalm126]

Recall Jesus’ words to Saul at their first encounter, “Saul, why do you persecute me?” Jesus words imply that Jesus viewed the Church as one with him. He is the Church, the Church is his physical body on earth. Mary was and remains the mother of his body, physically extended in space-time through the Church.

Wow, this makes sense to me also. Thank you.

 

[Fraz94]

You clearly love Jesus very much, but has it not occurred to you that, Jesus, who you love also loves his mother? Don’t we all love our mothers? Jesus loved and loves still his mother. The way some people talk about Mary and insult her and then say they love Jesus is very sad, Jesus would be upset to hear how those people speak about his own mother.

I am not going to write a big long response as most people have covered what I would say in other reponses, however, I will say to you- read the story of Wedding at Cana in the Bible where Jesus and Mary attended a wedding. The bride and groom had run out of wine, Jesus had no intention of doing anything about it but only because his mother asked him to do he preform a miracle, did he turn water into wine- his first public miracle: this shows that Mary is able to obtain favours from Jesus. Also read the passage when Jesus died on the Cross and he gave his own mother to John (the only male Christian present) and therefore gave all Christians his mother and made her our mother too.

God bless you and I pray you will come to understand Marian devotion. Our Lady loves you and wishes to bring you closer to her son!

 

[psalm126]

I always found Revelation 12 helpful in understanding this. First, John describes the woman in heaven clothed with the sun with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She gives birth to a son who rules the nations with an iron rod. Her son is obviously Jesus, since that reference to the rod of iron is from Psalm 2, a messianic psalm. So that would make the woman in Revelation be Mary, since she is the one who gave birth to the messiah. Well, at the end of Chapter 12, St. John says this:

According to Revelation, all Christians, those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus, are children of Mary.

Also, because we are adopted into Christ, we are able to call God our Father, it seems reasonable to think we would also receive Mary as our mother through Christ as well.

It is really clicking for me now. Thank you to everyone. I am so glad I came across this website and forums.

 

[Rosebud77]

Here in Ireland there are literally thousands of wayside shrines to Mary… Only one have I seen to Jesus.

This is way out of kilter surely and my own take on this is that Mary is NOT God and thus not to be prayed to in that way. Honoured yes, deeply so but not anything more, and I am sure the Mary I read would agree with that

For me, Jesus is enough and more than enough; He fills my life and my heart.

 

[J_Peterson]

Two things that helped me get closer to Mary was The Secret of the Rosary by St. Louis De Monfort and St. Thomas Aquinas on the Hail Mary.

Also praying will work, just ask God. If He doesn’t answer keep asking.

 

[Layp3rs0n]

Think of this, Adam had Eve, his helper. Though the roles are reversed (Jesus came from Mary while Eve took her humanity from Adam) but the concept is the same. Mary is the new Eve, Jesus the new Adam. In fact, this parallels things perfectly. She helps save mankind with her yes where Eve helped Adam royally mess up. (But keep in mind Adam and Eve are Saints. They’re in Heaven now). Mary is our deposit on being the Church Triumphant. She is already there in Heaven, experiencing everything we have to wait till the end of time for. Mary is our Hope, because she embodies everything we were designed for. Mary reflects her Son’s glory. Strive to be like Mary and you will end up being like Jesus.

 

[Petaro]

Firstly, Secondly and Thirdly, WE DO NOT WORSHIP MARY!!! Only God deserves our worship. To worship anyone else including ourselves warrants His anger.
But look at the relationship between our God Jesus and His Mother in the Bible. From the fiat that started God’s plan for our salvation, Our Lady has the closest relationship with God that we could aspire to. Her protection of the Child Jesus with Joseph, to her womanly concern for the young married couple at the wedding feast to her final sorrow at the foot of the Cross, with Jesus’s show of care and protection of His Mother on His death; all are signs we cannot as Catholics ignore.
I have always been impressed by Mary’s complete understanding at the Wedding at Canna of Jesus’s obedience to her will. She did not see his comment to her as a rebuff. She just told the servants to do what he told them; knowing that he would move his plans for a public life forward to solve her concerns. Such a silly social thing and His love is moved by her concerns. If He would do this for Mary, I want her on my side. It is, to me, like asking an important person in someone’s life to intercede for you, a stranger.
Ask Jesus to introduce you to Mary, if you feel distant. You have a lot of Posters’ prayers.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Start by asking God for the willingness to love his mother. Read about her and about Marian devotion. Ask Mary to pray that you understand her role in salvation and in your life.

It will come.

 

[wcknight]

So many other Christian denomination think wrongly that we worship Mary as much or more than we worship God or Jesus. Some even within our faith think we put too much emphasis on asking Mary instead of Jesus for favors or we exalt beyond what she is worthy of…

She has so many titles that it seems a bit much… BUT she deserves each and every one. It’s because she delivers… God has given her the power to grant favors and miracles in so many ways. He has named her Queen of Heaven, Queen of the Universe, Queen of the Angels. He has let her have miracles done through her intercession at various locations world wide and throughout the ages.

I think of her as Mother of the King of Kings, the Mother of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Should she not deserve at least the same respect and honor as the mother of an earthly king or emperor ???

IF you lived under an ancient Chinese emperor or Ottoman emperor or any other empire, and the emperor declared that he would grant any favor his mother asked of him, would it not be wise to ask His mother for help especially if she was much more approachable and she was known to help anyone who approached her, even the lowliest peasant… yes God is approachable directly BUT God has also let it be known that His Mother is here to help us God has given Mary a very special role in assisting us. Her appearance in Guadalupe helped convert millions of natives. God seems to have made her His personal ambassador.

You have to ask yourself, why does anyone resent her ??? She is leading folks to her Son, Jesus. I constantly hear folks say, she is nothing more than just another woman… another human like us, yes, BUT definitely NOT just any other woman ! She IS the Mother of GOD. So IF you really love Jesus as all Christians claim they do, how can anyone not also love His Mother ? Makes no sense to me !!

 

[CradleJourney]

Crisp Snowflake, even if you “hate” Our Blessed Mother, She still loves you.

Why don’t you say, every day, one Hail Mary? It doesn’t matter how you “feel” - just say it, even if saying it repulses you. Tell Our Lady that you will be saying this Hail Mary every day so that She will change your heart.

I guarantee you that She will. And in an astounding way!

I’m not the OP, but I sure do understand the feeling.

Just wanted to let you know I’m trying this suggestion - especially since lately I’ve had the urge to say the Hail Mary - even though I don’t “feel” it. So I’ve been saying one or two a day intending them for one person or another I know needs prayer.

Since I’m having/have had issues with my own mother my whole life, that probably has something to do with my difficulties in identifying with Mary as well.

But thankfully as pointed out, Mary loves me anyway, and since God isn’t finished with me yet, I still have the chance to get better at this.

Thanks for the posts, support and suggestions.

 

[gracepoole]

Mary, at least how some Catholics portray her, does not seem human. Or I least I cannot relate to her.

I really recommend reading , by Caryll HouselanderThe Reed of God. She opens the book with a discussion of the difficulty she felt when trying to relate to Mary. But she also says this:

“Nothing but things essential for us are revealed to us about the Mother of God: the fact that she was wed to the Holy Spirit and bore Christ into the world. Our crowning joy is that she did this as a lay person and through the ordinary daily life that we all live; through natural love made supernatural, as the water at Cana was, at her request, turned into wine.”

Mary is extraordinary in her ordinariness. This book is regular reading for me each Advent – I too had a hard time identifying with and truly loving Mary but this book definitely offered me a different and beautiful perspective.

 

[GraceUnderFire]

Firstly, Secondly and Thirdly, WE DO NOT WORSHIP MARY!!! Only God deserves our worship. To worship anyone else including ourselves warrants His anger.
But look at the relationship between our God Jesus and His Mother in the Bible. From the fiat that started God’s plan for our salvation, Our Lady has the closest relationship with God that we could aspire to. Her protection of the Child Jesus with Joseph, to her womanly concern for the young married couple at the wedding feast to her final sorrow at the foot of the Cross, with Jesus’s show of care and protection of His Mother on His death; all are signs we cannot as Catholics ignore.
I have always been impressed by Mary’s complete understanding at the Wedding at Canna of Jesus’s obedience to her will. She did not see his comment to her as a rebuff. She just told the servants to do what he told them; knowing that he would move his plans for a public life forward to solve her concerns. Such a silly social thing and His love is moved by her concerns. If He would do this for Mary, I want her on my side. It is, to me, like asking an important person in someone’s life to intercede for you, a stranger.
Ask Jesus to introduce you to Mary, if you feel distant. You have a lot of Posters’ prayers.

As a convert, what has drawn me closer and closer to Mary is reflection on her simplicity, hidden-ness, and virtue. Today, when I was praying the Joyful mysteries in front of the Blessed Sacrament, the thought came to me that God asked Mary to be the mother of Christ. It’s almost unfathomable that He would approach her in such a humble way. . .I don’t know if I’m expressing it right but that alone says something about Mary. Like Fulton Sheen said, if any of us could choose or form our mother, she would be perfect in every way.

One thing I pity Protestants about is the fact that they totally don’t understand Mary and are missing out of such a wonderful advocate in their lives. I just became consecrated to her (something I couldn’t have fathomed before) and I am ready to go on this journey with her.

OP, praying for you. Simply ask God to show you what He wants you to know about His mother. He will!

 

[ccmcmg]

One stumbling block that kept me from talking to Mary is envy.
As you say, I find it hard to identify with someone who is blessed by God with no inclination to sin. I have to struggle, why shouldn’t she? How can she be an inspiration if she has no sin to struggle with?

I simply have to accept her blessedness. Her blessedness does not detract from the gifts that God has given me. Her graced life enriches the Church. In the end everything we have is a gift from God, so we are all blessed, so we can identify with her in the positive sense.

I can understand the envy, however, she may have borne one of the most difficult experiences of any mother at any time on earth. From the teachings of the Old Testament, she probably knew how the Messiah’s story would end, yet she still accepted the honor and duty of being His mother, in all the glory and pain that would come with it. I personally know I would not be strong enough to suffer the way she did, without the intervention of the Lord to ease my suffering.

Parts of what I’ve heard about Mary and the Church’s teachings do confuse me, and I have a hard time understanding them. I continue to learn and grow. I do love Mary, because of our Savior Jesus Christ, our Lord.

God bless you.

 

[ejp123]

Consider your relationship with your biological mother. what was your relationship like with her? You could be projecting your interpretation of her onto Mary and misperceiving Mary.

 

[Tigg]

Every since I was a little girl, I was not close to Mary.
For me, it seems a little weird to pray to her.
She is not omnipresent nor omnipotent like Jesus.
How can she possibly hear our prayers? She cannot be in many places at once.

I can relate to Jesus because He was Man, but He was also God. He was tempted in the wilderness. He knows my thoughts, my actions, my everything.

Mary, at least how some Catholics portray her, does not seem human. Or I least I cannot relate to her. She was sinless. Jesus was sinless too, but He was God. He had a reason to be sinless. I can relate to the other female saints because they have sinned in the past, and strive to be holier like Jesus.

And I think we put too much emphasis on her. I think to myself, what about Jesus?
When did we start adoring Mary, anyhow?

I remember when I was a little girl, maybe in 5th or 6th grade, and I said “I hated Mary”. I hope I don’t feel that way today. Maybe I am jealous of her because she is so perfect? Like what did she do to deserve to be this perfect? Or Holy? I cannot relate to her.
I feel, that many Catholics, view her as a goddess.
You cannot say a “Hail Mary” in your head, or say the Rosary with “Hail Marys” in your head, because she will not hear you. Only Jesus will hear you. Only Jesus knows your thoughts! (Thank goodness because, demons can’t hear me say how much I hate them, hahhahahhah )

But I guess I give her credit. Everyday, she must have felt she was not worthy to be Jesus’s mother. It must have been hard to raise Jesus. I cannot imagine the sorrow she must have felt when Jesus died on the cross. To me, that is the ‘human’ Mary I can relate to.

I have watched this beautiful video, but nothing has struck me in the head yet.
youtube.com/watch?v=kUdYeYy3NQA

I do want to adore her, but for right now, something is holding me back.
I talk to God about this “Mary” subject a lot. And I try to make sense of it myself. Can you please help me with this!

HELP?!?!

Just received this in an e-mail as today is the feast of the Most Holy Name of Mary. Altho it goes back to a 2005 homily, I hope it will help you in some way.

EXCERPT HOMILY FATHER ALTIER (09/12/05):

What a blessing is the fact that not only do we have Our Lord mediating for us with His heavenly Father, but that we have Our Blessed Lady interceding for us with her Son. What that means is that we are not going before the Lord ourselves. Recognizing ourselves to be unworthy, we will ask someone else to present our prayer before the Lord. That person is Our Lady. The wonderful thing is she is also our Mother. Her heart is open to us, but she is the mother of the King, and so her heart, of course, is open to Him. What a perfect person to be the one to bring all of our petitions to the Lord. It means that our prayers, as imperfect as they are, do not go directly to the Lord but rather they go to Our Lady, who then purifies our prayers, adds her own perfect prayer to ours, and then presents that to her Son. And so what is presented to Our Lord is a prayer which is perfect, a prayer which is far greater than anything we would ever be able to do.

Even if we started praying right now and prayed until the day we die, it is still going to be less than one prayer from Our Blessed Lady. When she adds her prayer to ours, it augments it and perfects it. It is this mediation, this intercession that Our Lady does for us just as we do for one another when we pray for one another, except far more efficacious, far more perfect than what any of us or even all of us combined would be able to do for one another.

desertvoice.excerptsofinri.com/text/2005/Alti091205.htm

Do you think Satan or one of his demons has tempted me to “hate” her? I just cannot adore her. I don’t know why? I DON’T want to hate her. I want to view her as my mother some day.

We do not adore Mary as that is reserved for God alone. But see what the above link has to say in response to your question (Read 3rd paragraph.)

 

[johnthebaptist2]

Just received this in an e-mail as today is the feast of the Most Holy Name of Mary. Altho it goes back to a 2005 homily, I hope it will help you in some way.

We do not adore Mary as that is reserved for God alone. But see what the above link has to say in response to your question (Read 3rd paragraph.)

All I can say to you is, say The Holy Rosary,as ask by Mary and ask her to Interceded in bringing you closer to her Immaculate Heart ,for she will help you to understand,and by the way The Holy Rosary is for every one to say it ,not just Catholics…