I have a girl friend!

[Yehuda_Dion]

I’d say congrats, but I kind of feel bad for the girl right now. You say she’s the girl of your dreams, but then you turn around and rate her? You are either quite shallow or immature. First of all, if you feel the need to rate her, the fact that she is, as you say, the girl of your dreams should make her a 10. JMHO Second, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t appreciate you coming on to a public forum to rate her.

I’m no great beauty, but if I were to ask, or if anyone were to ask my dh to rate me, one, he’d tell them they were nuts, & two, if he did feel like amusing them with a response, he’d tell them that I’m off the charts.

For the love of God, this is getting annoying. I’M NOT SHALLOW, I LOVE BEAUTY! And if you happen to have a problem with that, take it to my Creator!

 

[_Jenn]

For the love of God, this is getting annoying. I’M NOT SHALLOW, I LOVE BEAUTY! And if you happen to have a problem with that, take it to my Creator!

Ok, let’s put this in another way. Would you be comfortable with this woman reading your original post?

 

[504Katrin]

Goodness! It’s a guys’ thingy to rate like this. Let’em have fun geez.

Congrats!

I found someone also.

Seems to be the season maybe…spring time maybe?

 

[Yehuda_Dion]

Ok, let’s put this in another way. Would you be comfortable with this woman reading your original post?

Seeing as how I ended with, “Praise the Lord!”. Yes, she probably would be comfortable.

 

[mayxanh]

Yehuda Dion,

Good new and Congrad!

But please remember to frein yourself from having XXX before marriage

XXX is one of the biggest temptation nowadays

 

[Gabriel_oOLoS]

I think the question everyone is asking is why is she an 8 instead of a 10?

 

[KostyaJMJ]

I think the question everyone is asking is why is she an 8 instead of a 10?

She might be out of his league if she were a 10/10.

He might only be a 6/10, meaning he can only comfortably date someone rated from about 6 - 8. 4-5 would be scraping the bottom of the barrel and 10 would be way out of his league.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

For the love of God, this is getting annoying. I’M NOT SHALLOW, I LOVE BEAUTY! And if you happen to have a problem with that, take it to my Creator!

The problem is that by giving her a rating, or a score, you have graded her as though she is an object to be graded and scored. You can love beauty, but grading it with numbers is objectification. Ask any great artist if he or she would like his painting given a number score. Furthermore, by giving her a “less than perfect” score, you have either already calculated her physical deficiencies or you have compared her against a more beautiful standard. Girls don’t like that.

 

[thewanderer]

For the love of God, this is getting annoying. I’M NOT SHALLOW, I LOVE BEAUTY! And if you happen to have a problem with that, take it to my Creator!

Ok, calm down, I think the reason some people were upset is not that you love beauty, if you had simply said “she’s beautiful” or “She’s Gorgeous” then nobody would have gotten upset with you. I think people are projecting from what their own response to being “rated” would be. I know that personally if I ever dated a guy who decided to rate me I would think twice about continuing the relationship, but hey, maybe your girl isn’t like that, I certainly hope so. And Congratulations!

 

[Vim71]

While I am happy for you OP, you might want to reconsider the scale thing in the future. It does not make you look very mature FYI, and that might be your downfall. Just my advice.

Goodness! It’s a guys’ thingy to rate like this.

I don’t think it’s as much of a guy thing, but more of an adolescent thing.

I’m a guy and I sure wouldn’t rate someone like that, but if I did, I’d be sure to say she’s a 10/10, or higher.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Oh and to add to my post, I get it that this was a small comment in an otherwise very excited statement. Lots of people say things they shouldn’t - my dh said some dumb things when we were dating (he still says some things he shouldn’t), and I’m sure I’m guilty as well. I am happy for you that you are excited about the possible beginning of a relationship. Do think about this concept of rating girls with numbers though.

 

[mtbender]

I don’t think it’s as much of a guy thing, but more of an adolescent thing.

 

[Actaeon]

Yehuda, I’m glad you got a date… but I’m going to give you some advice on relationships because I can see where this is potentially headed…

Today the girl of my dreams agreed to go out with me.

She’s not “the girl of your dreams”. She’s a girl. The girl in your head is a fictional creation who is flawless and therefore demands an awelike state of being put on a pedestal.

The girl who agreed to date you is human: she has flaws and moments of weakness. More importantly, she doesn’t WANT to be put on a pedestal and worshipped. She wants to be treated like a human being and eventually to be loved for WHO SHE IS… not for who the make-believe girl in your head is.

I can’t believe it - I am the luckiest guy in the world.

No, you’re not “the luckiest guy in the world”… you earned this and don’t you take that away from yourself by thinking that it was luck. She CHOSE to date you because you are someone she thinks is WORTH dating. She’s not giving you a hand-out and you’re not magically winning a prize. She’s a human being who thinks you might be worth dating, and you’re a human being that thinks she might be worth dating.

You should be proud of yourself, not because you’re lucky, but because you’re DESERVING and approach this girl like you’re both equals in that regard.

An 8/10, a dreamer’s personality and the loveliest eyes.

I’m not going to jump down your throat like the others and claim that you’re some pig who doesn’t ever deserve to have a girlfriend again… that’s a bit extreme. After all, some level of physical attraction in starting a relationship is NORMAL and HEALTHY.

That being said, be careful… calling a girl an 8/10 is acceptable in places like /b/, reddit, or 9gag… but doing so here is definitely NOT considered acceptable. And if she ever asks what you rate her as, you don’t give her a number, you just tell her she’s phenomenal.

Praise the Lord! I don’t know how to thank You enough.

Okay, now let’s talk theology. A wise person once told me that for a relationship to be successful, both people need to be able to walk away from it at any time… stick with me:

Catholics date in order to discern marriage: your job is to figure out if you can live with her flaws FOREVER. In order to do that, you have to realize that she may have some flaw, or behave some way, or do something which would make it horrible for you to stay if she can’t change. You have to be willing to tell her what your “deal breakers” are, and then stand by them (eg, if your dealbreaker is “I don’t date cheaters” and she cheats on you, you have to be willing to leave).

If any party in a relationship starts throwing out the “I need you so never leave me” vibe, then it’s carte blanche for the other person to walk all over them before throwing them away. Set standards, communicate those standards to her (at the appropriate time) and then HOLD her to those standards (and live by her standards as well, assuming that they are something that you can live with too!)

 

[Costner]

Congrats Dude!

 

[Yehuda_Dion]

Had our date today. We both had a total blast. Ate at an American foods restaurant, before watching a movie together and dropping her off. I’m looking forward to the next one.

 

[chevalier]

Today the girl of my dreams agreed to go out with me. I can’t believe it - I am the luckiest guy in the world. An 8/10, a dreamer’s personality and the loveliest eyes. Praise the Lord! I don’t know how to thank You enough.

Okay, that beats the great espresso I had on Tuesday.

 

[Yehuda_Dion]

Okay, that beats the great espresso I had on Tuesday.

Thank you!

 

[dshix]

Confused. Maybe things have changed since I was involved in the world of dating. **But accepting a first date in my day didn’t mean I was anyone’s “girl friend.” It meant I accepted date for a meal, maybe a movie, and some conversation. **I wasn’t particularly beautiful or popular, but nonetheless, I held my own enough to have had a lot of first dates that never progressed beyond that stage. Of course, some dates led to 2nd dates and so on. And some, a few, progressed to a point where we became exclusive by mutual choice for a bit or longer, and at THAT time we became, "boy friend’ and “girl friend.”

Yeah - giving a woman a rating in public is rather immature, but maybe the OP is very young or socially immature?

But again, “scoring” a date with a pretty woman is a big deal to some men. But such a “score” doesn’t equate a “girl friend” or relationship.

Hope it works out to be what you hope it to turn into OP!

That was my first thought.

 

[Inego_de_Loyola]

You are not vain? Your post says you care more about looks than personality.

Today the girl of my dreams agreed to go out with me… An 8/10, a dreamer’s personality and the loveliest eyes. Praise the Lord! I don’t know how to thank You enough.

This thread has become a humorous representation of what is wrong with the forum.
:nope:

 

[Inego_de_Loyola]

Yehuda, I’m glad you got a date… but I’m going to give you some advice on relationships because I can see where this is potentially headed…

She’s not “the girl of your dreams”. She’s a girl. The girl in your head is a fictional creation who is flawless and therefore demands an awelike state of being put on a pedestal.

The girl who agreed to date you is human: she has flaws and moments of weakness. More importantly, she doesn’t WANT to be put on a pedestal and worshipped. She wants to be treated like a human being and eventually to be loved for WHO SHE IS… not for who the make-believe girl in your head is.

No, you’re not “the luckiest guy in the world”… you earned this and don’t you take that away from yourself by thinking that it was luck. She CHOSE to date you because you are someone she thinks is WORTH dating. She’s not giving you a hand-out and you’re not magically winning a prize. She’s a human being who thinks you might be worth dating, and you’re a human being that thinks she might be worth dating.

You should be proud of yourself, not because you’re lucky, but because you’re DESERVING and approach this girl like you’re both equals in that regard.

I’m not going to jump down your throat like the others and claim that you’re some pig who doesn’t ever deserve to have a girlfriend again… that’s a bit extreme. After all, some level of physical attraction in starting a relationship is NORMAL and HEALTHY.

That being said, be careful… calling a girl an 8/10 is acceptable in places like /b/, reddit, or 9gag… but doing so here is definitely NOT considered acceptable. And if she ever asks what you rate her as, you don’t give her a number, you just tell her she’s phenomenal.

Okay, now let’s talk theology. A wise person once told me that for a relationship to be successful, both people need to be able to walk away from it at any time… stick with me:

Catholics date in order to discern marriage: your job is to figure out if you can live with her flaws FOREVER. In order to do that, you have to realize that she may have some flaw, or behave some way, or do something which would make it horrible for you to stay if she can’t change. You have to be willing to tell her what your “deal breakers” are, and then stand by them (eg, if your dealbreaker is “I don’t date cheaters” and she cheats on you, you have to be willing to leave).

If any party in a relationship starts throwing out the “I need you so never leave me” vibe, then it’s carte blanche for the other person to walk all over them before throwing them away. Set standards, communicate those standards to her (at the appropriate time) and then HOLD her to those standards (and live by her standards as well, assuming that they are something that you can live with too!)

Much better!