I have been diagnosed

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…as having a sexual addiction as a compulsive behavior with lack of impulse control. (Masturbation since I was 14 in 1989) The Catholic shrink I have been speaking to is NOT fully honed to deal with sexual addiction disorders and has considered I seek a f/t sexual addiction therapist albeit one who is practicing from a purely secular point of view.

Major problem in that this guy does NOT accept insurance and I seriously don’t have the cash that this type of therapy would cost. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence.

I am sick of masturbation and the lies of the devil that it entails. I am about to start a hard journey but I know God is with me. Thanks. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me to thy beloved son, in His name. Amen!
 
Father, in the Name of Jesus, please give the necessary graces each day to this struggling soul. Please send Your Holy Spirit in each moment, each day.
Please guide this person to practical strategies for dealing with this issue and with breaking this lonely and self-defeating behavior, and to secure other assistance if it is needed.
Father please allow Your merciful love to lead and heal all that is disordered in this, Your loved child.
 
**Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen. **
 
While masturbation is morally evil, you do realise, that since you have been diagnosed of having an addiction, it reduces one’s culpability for the sin? And, I’m praying for you to overcome it.
 
While masturbation is morally evil, you do realise, that since you have been diagnosed of having an addiction, it reduces one’s culpability for the sin? And, I’m praying for you to overcome it.
I do realize that, but prolonged abuse has, in the past, led to inadequate relations with the opposite sex. I don’t mind sharing, we are all adults, but the last woman to fellate me,was absolutely upset that it took right at 45 mins to achieve some sort of emission. She asked me, “you masturbate a lot don’t you” at which I replied yes. There’s stamina and then there is this as if the only way I could acheive orgasm was a fantasy. Needless to say, we didn’t get very far. Of course, I was in the wrong of being there in that situation and went to confession 2 days later.

I have always turned inward instead of trying to express that outwardly and hence, here we are. Again, I know the culpability has dropped but enough is enough and it affects everything. Thanks.
 
As an unmarried Catholic and as a Christian you are obliged not to have sexual relations of any kind with anyone therefore no woman should be in a position to know whether or not you perform well. To do so is fornication

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

2339 Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.126 "Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."127

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139 To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense."

Loving God please flood Your graces into Your child who is desirous to live the Christian virtue of chastity.
 
As an unmarried Catholic and as a Christian you are obliged not to have sexual relations of any kind with anyone therefore no woman should be in a position to know whether or not you perform well. To do so is fornication
The OP said he was in the wrong in being there in that situation and went to Confession two days afterward.
 
…as having a sexual addiction as a compulsive behavior with lack of impulse control. (Masturbation since I was 14 in 1989) The Catholic shrink I have been speaking to is NOT fully honed to deal with sexual addiction disorders and has considered I seek a f/t sexual addiction therapist albeit one who is practicing from a purely secular point of view.

Major problem in that this guy does NOT accept insurance and I seriously don’t have the cash that this type of therapy would cost. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence.

I am sick of masturbation and the lies of the devil that it entails. I am about to start a hard journey but I know God is with me. Thanks. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me to thy beloved son, in His name. Amen!
I struggle with the same thing, so you are not alone. I’ve had the addiction since I was 11 in 1981. I always knew it wasn’t good for me since I never felt good about myself after doing it, and it always made me feel dirty and like I lost my dignity. But the thoughts keep returning, and I keep feeling compelled to do it. Sin really does enslave us. So keep praying, keep trying to stop, and keep going to confession when you fall. And trust in God’s mercy.
 
**Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen. **
 
Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.
 
I do realize that, but prolonged abuse has, in the past, led to inadequate relations with the opposite sex. I don’t mind sharing, we are all adults, but the last woman to fellate me,was absolutely upset that it took right at 45 mins to achieve some sort of emission. She asked me, “you masturbate a lot don’t you” at which I replied yes. There’s stamina and then there is this as if the only way I could acheive orgasm was a fantasy. Needless to say, we didn’t get very far. Of course, I was in the wrong of being there in that situation and went to confession 2 days later.

I have always turned inward instead of trying to express that outwardly and hence, here we are. Again, I know the culpability has dropped but enough is enough and it affects everything. Thanks.
Forgive me of my ignorance! I’m praying for you!
 
. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I agree. And don’t beat yourself up if you fail, either. Addiction is hard to overcome. But Christ is with you in your struggle.
Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence
Hence, why it is an urban legend. Furthermore, a habit is not the same as an addiction. People suffering from the “habit” and/or addiction of masturbation can struggle for years before being able to stop completely.

Don’t give up hope! Distract yourself with healthy activities when you can. Become socially active and exercise regularly if possible. And confess regularly - weekly if possible. It might help to have a spiritual director or regular confessor.
 
**Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen. **
 
Does your insurance pay for you to see the secular therapist? I’m not quite sure from your post. If it does, I would recommend seeing a secular therapist if that’s what you can afford. You can leave if you feel he is trying to push you away from your faith.

If you can’t afford a professional therapist, many communities have self-help groups, similar to alcoholics anonymous. In my area there are sexaholics anonymous groups. You might want to look into that at as a cheaper alternative. A group which might offer some resources for you is The King’s Men. thekingsmen.us/ Look to see if they have meetings in your area. Even if they don’t, they might be able to provide some useful resources for you.

I pray the best for you.
 
Brother I am truly praying for you. I have all but destroyed my marriage because of this. My wife seems to hate me and herself (though she still stays with me, so there must be love there). My wife doesn’t have a faith in God, so this really tears her up, since she has no one to pray to concerning my behavior. She has gained weight and is angry all the time. Now, obviously, this is due to depression. But, since I have been married to her for 12 years, and have had this problem the whole time, I wonder if most (if not all) of this is attributable to my behavior. I’m not even sure either of us is attraced to the other anymore. With God’s grace, we’ll get back to a loving, caring relationship, but it’s awfully difficult. I say all this as a warning of sorts. I’m praying for you brother. I beg the same of you.
 
Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.
 
All the suggestions here have been wonderful. Allow me to offer one more:

Some therapists may accept you for treatment at a reduced rate based on your income. Make some calls to several, at least, and finally, do not give up hope. God’s infinite mercy is there for you.

Try not to beat yourself up over this, and pray.

God bless,
Ed
 
**Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, console the lonely,
assist the lost or confused, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, guide us from evil,
pray for those who have died; may all who keep your sacred
commemoration experience the might of your assistance.
Amen. **
 
Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, console the lonely,
assist the lost or confused, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, guide us from evil,
pray for those who have died; may all who keep your sacred
commemoration experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.
 
I just prayed for you. I hope that you can overcome your addiction as soon as possible. Make sure that you go to Confession frequently and receive the Eucharist as often as possible so long as you are not in a state of mortal sin. These two things will give you grace to help you avoid this sin. I would also recommend praying the Holy Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3 o’clock which is the Hour of Great Mercy in which Jesus revealed to Saint Faustina that He would give to people anything they asked in virtue of His sorrowful passion.
 
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