Thank you, all.
I was diagnosed with OCD in March, and I am taking a semester off from school, at the time. I spoke to my priest, and he said that I should live a more active Christian lifestyle, by feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, etc. Basically do whatever the Lord is going to ask me on the Day of Judgement.
Once again, thank you.
Your priest is encouraging you to act against the anxiety and compulsions. I’m sure his advice also included frequent Communion. Unless he has told you otherwise, you should be striving to receive Communion as often as possible WITHOUT going to Confession first unless you are either following a strict schedule of Reconciliation that your priest put in place (ask him to do this for you), or if you can honestly swear before the all-knowing God that you are clearly and certainly in mortal sin. And now a word from St. Therese of Liseux:
Before you confided in me, I felt you were suffering, and my heart was one with yours. Since you have the humility to ask advice of your little Thérèse, this is what she thinks: you have grieved me greatly by abstaining from Holy Communion, because you have grieved Our Lord. The devil must be very cunning to deceive a soul in this way. Do you not know, dear Marie, that by acting thus you help him to accomplish his end? The treacherous creature knows quite well that when a soul is striving to belong wholly to God he cannot cause her to sin, so he merely tries to persuade her that she has sinned. This is a considerable gain, but not enough to satisfy his hatred, so he aims at something more, and tries to shut out Jesus from a tabernacle which Jesus covets. Unable to enter this sanctuary himself, he wishes that at least it remain empty and without its God. Alas, what will become of that poor little heart? When the devil has succeeded in keeping a soul from Holy Communion he has gained all his ends … while Jesus weeps! …
Remember, little Marie, that this sweet Jesus is there in the Tabernacle expressly for you and you alone. Remember that He burns with the desire to enter your heart. Do not listen to satan. Laugh him to scorn, and go without fear to receive Jesus, the God of peace and of love.
“Thérèse thinks all this” – you say – “because she does not know my difficulties.” She does know, and knows them well; she understands everything, and she tells you confidently that you can go without fear to receive you only true Friend. She, too, has passed through the martyrdom of scruples, but Jesus gave her the grace to receive the Blessed Sacrament always, even when she imagined she had committed great sins. I assure you I have found that this is the only means of ridding oneself of the devil. When he sees that he is losing his time he leaves us in peace.
In truth it is impossible that a heart which can only find rest in contemplation of the Tabernacle – and yours is such, you tell me – could so far offend Our Lord as not to be able to receive Him … What does offend Jesus, what wounds Him to the Heart, is want of confidence.
Pray much that the best portion of your life may not be overshadowed by idle fears. We have only life’s brief moments to spend for the Glory of God, and well does satan know it. This is why he employs every ruse to make us consume them in useless labour. Dear sister, go often to Holy Communion, go very often – that is your one remedy.
Acting against the anxiety–especially by receiving the Lord in Holy Communion–is part of how you will ultimately break free. Obviously, you also need to do whatever your doctors have told you to do, and you should have your specialist doctor or your general practicioner evaluate your overall health to see if the OCD has an underlying physical cause (for example, checking your vitamin D level and whether inositol or other supplements would be helpful). Attack the OCD on all fronts and engage all of the help you need (and ask
St. Dymphna to help you!), but remember, you MUST choose to act against the anxiety and the bad thoughts YOURSELF and resist the urge to run for reassurance.