I have compulsions to call the devil LORD

  • Thread starter Thread starter JDGaney
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

JDGaney

Guest
It just sucks me in like a magnet. Like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with the Ring.

When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there… I’ve had compulsions to sell my soul, and worried I did sell my soul after I despaired, thinking I blasphemed the Holy Spirit due to doubts about Jesus’ origins and compulsions to call Him satanic. I don’t mean it. I sold my soul for sexual changes, I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel hetero.

What do I do? I don’t want to call satan LORD anymore. That belongs to God alone.
 
It just sucks me in like a magnet. Like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with the Ring.

When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there… I’ve had compulsions to sell my soul, and worried I did sell my soul after I despaired, thinking I blasphemed the Holy Spirit due to doubts about Jesus’ origins and compulsions to call Him satanic. I don’t mean it. I sold my soul for sexual changes, I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel hetero.

What do I do? I don’t want to call satan LORD anymore. That belongs to God alone.
This is a very, very serious post. Often times, blanket advice such as “go to confession” is given, and I often feel more should be said. But in this case, I can’t suggest it strongly enough. GO. TO. CONFESSION.
 
It just sucks me in like a magnet. Like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with the Ring.

When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there… I’ve had compulsions to sell my soul, and worried I did sell my soul after I despaired, thinking I blasphemed the Holy Spirit due to doubts about Jesus’ origins and compulsions to call Him satanic. I don’t mean it. I sold my soul for sexual changes, I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel hetero.

What do I do? I don’t want to call satan LORD anymore. That belongs to God alone.
Why would you call someone Lord who hates you and wants to destroy you? Satan has no friends, not even demons. He is not capable of anything but hate. Once a person is in hell they won’t be capable of loving or even liking another person. All that is good in us comes from God and that all will be gone. All you will be able to do is hate and you will hate your friends and family there most of all as you will blame them for helping you get there!
 
It just sucks me in like a magnet. Like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with the Ring.

When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there… I’ve had compulsions to sell my soul, and worried I did sell my soul after I despaired, thinking I blasphemed the Holy Spirit due to doubts about Jesus’ origins and compulsions to call Him satanic. I don’t mean it. I sold my soul for sexual changes, I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel hetero.

What do I do? I don’t want to call satan LORD anymore. That belongs to God alone.
This is very likely a manifestation of obsessive compulsive disorder. From the Scrupulous Anonymous newsletter, June 2001:

One of the manifestations of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), which some scru- pulous people suffer from, is what may be understood as “uncontrolled thoughts.” Often these thoughts are very intense and powerful and are expressed by what seems to be expressions that take the name of God in vain. Obviously these kind of thoughts are very disturbing to people who suffer from them. But as disturbing as they might be, and as vivid as they might seem to be, **they are not sinful. **Since the thoughts are not controlled but seem to appear spontaneously, they are in no way a manifestation of a freely chosen action. For something to be sinful, it must be freely chosen. Because it is not a sin to have such thoughts does not mean that a person will feel any better about what they are experiencing. But the fact that they don’t feel good about it is yet another indica- tion that the expression of such thoughts is not what they intend and not what they have chosen. A confessor will often help a person be at peace about this kind of torment and temptation.

I would encourage you to review this newsletter as well as the SA site in general and to have it in hand when you visit with your confessor. Most of all, do not get discouraged. You are not evil, you are not a bad person. The devil wants you to despair. Laugh him to scorn.
 
You need professional counseling.

Please go to your priest and talk to him about scrupulosity and talk to a counselor about OCD.
 
talk to a Priest and spiritual director you need to get one
satan is playing games with you he is blocking you he loves to do that… cause thats all he has remember he is an empty vessel that makes a lot of noise,
Go to confession… hide nothing from the priest as in the confessional it is God who is listening to you and whatever the priest tells you to do… do it with obedience satan hates obedience trust in the mercy of God
I will be praying for you
 
He is not Lord anyways 🤷 Just another creature 🤷

You have no ownership whatsoever on your soul, that is a strange concept that is part of popular culture. There is only one thing that you own with God-given right: free will. At any time you are totally, absolutely free to choose what to do next.

I read you have watched some movies on exorcisms. I don’t like those at all 🤷 But I do know that in the crucial point of some exorcisms, the priest asks the possessed to make a choice between Jesus Christ and Satan, and that by their very choice they gained authority over their own bodies again.

So even in the worst of all cases, we are still totally free to turn back to God - who has never left us - and He will give us a shower of graces and personally put on us the armor of faith against which no creature can stand.

Please, do speak to a priest asap about your situation. It may be a simple issue of the mind with no spiritual implications or origin whatsoever, and he is the only one who can discern this and help you. You cannot do this alone: you need God’s help and the blessing of His ministers 🙂

Are you wearing a crucifix of St. Benedict and praying the Rosary daily and often? 😉
 
It just sucks me in like a magnet. Like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with the Ring.

When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there… I’ve had compulsions to sell my soul, and worried I did sell my soul after I despaired, thinking I blasphemed the Holy Spirit due to doubts about Jesus’ origins and compulsions to call Him satanic. I don’t mean it. I sold my soul for sexual changes, I was struggling with my sexuality and now I feel hetero.

What do I do? I don’t want to call satan LORD anymore. That belongs to God alone.
I would arrange an appointment with your priest and have a good heart to heart about it. Be open and as free as you can feel with him and trust his guidence.

Please do not fear in going to your priest. He will only be pleased that you feel you can approach him. The priest job is partly to help us to connect with God. It sounds like you are being side tracked and he will help you connect with God in a way you are comfortable with. Its about you too, not just God. His approach may well appear to be light hearted but please don’t take that as any critical thing of how he sees it. That could be just to help you feel at ease at discussing things like this with him in the future per se. You will say more to him and deal with it better and learn from him more if you can be open in an all seemingly light hearted approach.

The more you fight it, the harder it be. The more you ignore it, the harder it be. Face up to it and the best way is to get support from people who know how to and that is your priest. He might refer you to someone else. He may appear dissmissive but don’t be put off. He be aiming at casualness in hoping that in itself might relax you and half of the problem will ease away through that. Sometimes that all it may need. Just to be able to talk about it openly with someone safe like a priest. But, please, don’t be put off and make an appointment with the priest and if you’re unsure ask for a confessional appointment that way you know for certain he will be 100% discrete with what you say.
 
In addition to the above, which is excellent advice, pray to St Michael the Archangel:

St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God,
Cast into Hell Satan and all those who prowl though the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen
 
Confession, direction from a regular confessor, rejecting/renouncing any such ideas and agreements etc, guidance from a Priest in terms of spiritual aspects with such and counseling.
 
Thank you, all.

I was diagnosed with OCD in March, and I am taking a semester off from school, at the time. I spoke to my priest, and he said that I should live a more active Christian lifestyle, by feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, etc. Basically do whatever the Lord is going to ask me on the Day of Judgement.

Once again, thank you.
 
Don’t worry about selling your soul. That is impossible. Your soul belongs to God, not you.

And don’t worry about blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is dying while unrepentant of sins. You, of course, have not died yet and you are seeking to solve your issues. As long as you are repentant of your sins before death you don’t need to worry.
 
Don’t worry about selling your soul. That is impossible. Your soul belongs to God, not you.

And don’t worry about blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is dying while unrepentant of sins. You, of course, have not died yet and you are seeking to solve your issues. As long as you are repentant of your sins before death you don’t need to worry.
I don’t believe that’s what blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is.

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is refusing to be forgiven and not wanting to be with God. One can do this while alive or at the moment of death. Of course if you’re alive and change your mind and repent through the Act of Reconciliation, you are then forgiven.
 
Thank you, all.

I was diagnosed with OCD in March, and I am taking a semester off from school, at the time. I spoke to my priest, and he said that I should live a more active Christian lifestyle, by feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, etc. Basically do whatever the Lord is going to ask me on the Day of Judgement.

Once again, thank you.
Your priest is encouraging you to act against the anxiety and compulsions. I’m sure his advice also included frequent Communion. Unless he has told you otherwise, you should be striving to receive Communion as often as possible WITHOUT going to Confession first unless you are either following a strict schedule of Reconciliation that your priest put in place (ask him to do this for you), or if you can honestly swear before the all-knowing God that you are clearly and certainly in mortal sin. And now a word from St. Therese of Liseux:

Before you confided in me, I felt you were suffering, and my heart was one with yours. Since you have the humility to ask advice of your little Thérèse, this is what she thinks: you have grieved me greatly by abstaining from Holy Communion, because you have grieved Our Lord. The devil must be very cunning to deceive a soul in this way. Do you not know, dear Marie, that by acting thus you help him to accomplish his end? The treacherous creature knows quite well that when a soul is striving to belong wholly to God he cannot cause her to sin, so he merely tries to persuade her that she has sinned. This is a considerable gain, but not enough to satisfy his hatred, so he aims at something more, and tries to shut out Jesus from a tabernacle which Jesus covets. Unable to enter this sanctuary himself, he wishes that at least it remain empty and without its God. Alas, what will become of that poor little heart? When the devil has succeeded in keeping a soul from Holy Communion he has gained all his ends … while Jesus weeps! …
Remember, little Marie, that this sweet Jesus is there in the Tabernacle expressly for you and you alone. Remember that He burns with the desire to enter your heart. Do not listen to satan. Laugh him to scorn, and go without fear to receive Jesus, the God of peace and of love.
“Thérèse thinks all this” – you say – “because she does not know my difficulties.” She does know, and knows them well; she understands everything, and she tells you confidently that you can go without fear to receive you only true Friend. She, too, has passed through the martyrdom of scruples, but Jesus gave her the grace to receive the Blessed Sacrament always, even when she imagined she had committed great sins. I assure you I have found that this is the only means of ridding oneself of the devil. When he sees that he is losing his time he leaves us in peace.
In truth it is impossible that a heart which can only find rest in contemplation of the Tabernacle – and yours is such, you tell me – could so far offend Our Lord as not to be able to receive Him … What does offend Jesus, what wounds Him to the Heart, is want of confidence.
Pray much that the best portion of your life may not be overshadowed by idle fears. We have only life’s brief moments to spend for the Glory of God, and well does satan know it. This is why he employs every ruse to make us consume them in useless labour. Dear sister, go often to Holy Communion, go very often – that is your one remedy.

Acting against the anxiety–especially by receiving the Lord in Holy Communion–is part of how you will ultimately break free. Obviously, you also need to do whatever your doctors have told you to do, and you should have your specialist doctor or your general practicioner evaluate your overall health to see if the OCD has an underlying physical cause (for example, checking your vitamin D level and whether inositol or other supplements would be helpful). Attack the OCD on all fronts and engage all of the help you need (and ask St. Dymphna to help you!), but remember, you MUST choose to act against the anxiety and the bad thoughts YOURSELF and resist the urge to run for reassurance.
 
I don’t believe that’s what blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is.

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is refusing to be forgiven and not wanting to be with God. One can do this while alive or at the moment of death. Of course if you’re alive and change your mind and repent through the Act of Reconciliation, you are then forgiven.
I think it’s a matter of semantics…the point is, refusing forgiveness is the one sin that can’t be forgiven.
 
I think it’s a matter of semantics…the point is, refusing forgiveness is the one sin that can’t be forgiven.
Exactly, because you are refusing it. But if you take back the refusal through the Act of Reconciliation, you can be forgiven, and obviously in order to do this you have to still be alive. It doesn’t mean just dying with mortal sin – although you can be dying and have mortal sins and still refuse to be forgiven.
 
If you are diagnosed with OCD, then it is very likely that these thoughts are intrusive thoughts that you do not WANT to have.
Do the thoughts come even though you DON’T want to think them?
Then you are not sinning because you do not do it intentionally.
Are you maybe not sure whether or not they were intentional? If you suffer from scrupulosity, that would be very typical…

By the way (and that is a question for everybody) just generally, doesn’t the sign of the cross scare the devil away? Crossing oneself, and maybe saying a quick prayer with the meaning that we want to folllow/worship only God?

But then if it is OCD, one has to be careful that this does not become a compulsive ritual that makes the obsession stronger. So better talk to your priest about it!!!
Because if they are intrusive thoughts, they do not really mean that the evil one can do you any harm, but really it is best to just let them come and go. But this I guess really depends on what they really are, that is why it is better to talk to a priest personally, who knows you.

I have myself often sturggled with obsessive scrupulous thoughts. It can be so so so very terrible to have them and have this nagging doubt whether or not it was sinful or not. 😦 For scrupulous people I have read the advice (I think from the site where they list the "10 commandments for the scrupulous, you can find it online) that if you are not 100% sure that it was intentional, then consider it not intentional. Or something like that. But really you should talk to your priest/confessor/spiritual director first to determine what your situation is…?
I really cannot say without knowing you whetehr or not you need to confess any of those thoughts, because I do not know you well enough that I can say for sure these are scruples. I am tempted to say go to confession anyway, if you haven’t been yet, but then again, if it is scrupulosity, then that advice might also create more fear. So I must leave this up to you and your priest.

Kathrin

p.s. I will now say a prayer for you. Please try to be at peace. Ask God to be with you, to forgive you anything you did that might have been wrong, and to guide you and help you be at peace. God is so so so very merciful.
 
When I want to pray for something, I figure go to the devil, since he will answer it immediately, but I will be damned. But my material desires keep dragging me there…
See, here for example I do not really know how you meant it, was it realyl the material desires tha made you WANT to choose evil??? (that would be something for confession, I would say!) or if your thoughts were just compulsively drawn there… etc
 
I have myself often sturggled with obsessive scrupulous thoughts. It can be so so so very terrible to have them and have this nagging doubt whether or not it was sinful or not. 😦 For scrupulous people I have read the advice (I think from the site where they list the "10 commandments for the scrupulous, you can find it online) that if you are not 100% sure that it was intentional, then consider it not intentional. Or something like that. But really you should talk to your priest/confessor/spiritual director first to determine what your situation is…?
Here’s the Scrupulous Anonymous website with one of several lists of Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top