I honestly need advice...asap!

[Vivian42]

What do you mean by leave the Earth? Do you have a way to get to Sirius or Alpha Centauri?

I think you need professional counseling, not because I see something really wrong with you but to help you through this situation.

Also, beauty in many ways is an illusion and temporary. The lengths that some people go to for that kind of recognition and how it backfires. You can talk about anything from over-tanning to how models are treated.

But I agree with what others are saying. Trust me, once you turn 18 and get out of high school, the game changes. When you’re an adult, you generally don’t have the time or the luxury to worry about popularity contests and the like. People start seeing things differently.

As for teenage boys, well, I was one. We don’t usually mature as fast as girls and women, but that gap will close soon.

Think about it: you’re probably surrounded by 14-18 yo right now. Soon, it will be almost exclusively 18+.

I really wish I could visit outer space though. Right on point

About professional counseling…I would have done that if we had any here. Really, I know it’s not wise to lash out on a forum, but I needed advice from different adults. And to do that I needed to express exactly how I felt, no matter how malicious that comes by. Thank you for the advice. I think one of the problems is that I have to cultivate my patience and compassion

 

[Kurisu35712]

That’s great about your sister and I do agree with you on everything you said. I am arrogant and very self-centered. And this is amplified , again, by what I’m seeing around me. I’ve replied to somebody that I live in a very small and underdeveloped town. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about when I say idiots. Not everyone, true, but too many of them. I can’t relate to them and I can’t have meaningful conversations with them. I guess I’ll have to deal with them until I leave this town and go to university in a bigger city. Hopefully I’ll find better people there and maybe I’ll be able to get rid of those traits.

About misandry…I think I made it clear that I don’t want to have this outlook on men. But…I’m not sure where you’re all from but it’s certainly much more civilized. Here I hear24/24 about women getting beat, raped and disregarded. I saw what my father was capable of doing to my mother. Recently a friend (15 also) was forced to do certain things by a dude (I think he’s in the same grade, god) . On the news too many of the victims are female. Not sure how it’s in your country, but here’s pretty bad. I think I have pretty good reasons to react like this . I don’t know what’s causing them to behave like that. For example in our little town a few years ago a woman was raped by a group of men and of course they got away with it. 2 days ago I went for a walk with a friend and a group of men followed us into a supermarket and shouted s–t at us. Yeah. Not sure who’s sexist here…
Anyways, thank you and everyone for the kind advice.

To your first paragraph, even “village idiots” have some degree of intelligence. It doesn’t seem like it to people who are more mature, better educated, more well-read, but I would argue that the more naturally intelligent kind of have a duty to likewise be more merciful, understanding, and accommodating. Believe me, I know where you’re coming from. I was always near the top of my class growing up and when everyone else was doing… whatever normal people do, I was reading as many books as I could hold at one time. I get where you’re coming from. Everyone develops at different rates, both emotionally and intellectually, and for people who learn faster, it can be very tiring to see the people around you lagging behind. It is important that you find other people with similar interests so that you do have things in common to talk about. I’m sure you can find at least one other person at your school or in your community who can have discussions at a similar level with you, but if not, that does change when you get to college. At that point, the majority of people you’ll find around you will be studying the same topics and be able to expand on them critically in a lot more detail.

Also, you’re only 15, so I wouldn’t worry too much about the arrogance thing, so long as you’re trying not to let that drive your opinions of other people or let it go unchecked. Teenagers to an extent can’t help it, just biologically and chemically speaking. Just don’t fall for the lie that other people aren’t good unless they’re useful. One of my roommates seems to have that attitude, and I think it’ll be hard for him to be successful later on if he can’t work past it.

As to the second paragraph, I really don’t know where you live or what the cultural situation is, so I honestly can’t speak for the virtue of the men around you. My comment was meant more as a general bit of advice, not to let the people around you color your opinion of everyone else. That can be hard to do if it’s all you know, though. I’m taking from your description that you don’t live in North America, which is where quite a few of the posters here are from. I can’t really give you much advice on how to deal with what you described, other than to keep your guard up and hopefully find a way out of that environment.

 

[Allegra]

I’d gladly volunteer but there’s only one organization that does that and it rarely does…something .There’s somebody I know involved but I haven’t heard anything from her lately about this. It seems that they’re quite inactive. But I’ll look more into it. However, donating I think is good too.
I have a friend that invited me to their religious youth group. I wanted to meet those people last summer but sadly didn’t have the time (whenever I could they couldn’t and so on…) . Maybe this summer will be different.
Thank you for your kind words

Maybe you could be the one to start one?

 

[Vivian42]

Maybe you could be the one to start one?

Me? To start something like that? From what I know you need funding and support from people in different positions of power … and that’s for adults. I, as a teenager, have no rights to start anything like that. I can support and join organizations, but nothing more than that.
If you meant something else, please clarify.

 

[Vivian42]

As to the second paragraph, I really don’t know where you live or what the cultural situation is, so I honestly can’t speak for the virtue of the men around you. My comment was meant more as a general bit of advice, not to let the people around you color your opinion of everyone else. That can be hard to do if it’s all you know, though. I’m taking from your description that you don’t live in North America, which is where quite a few of the posters here are from. I can’t really give you much advice on how to deal with what you described, other than to keep your guard up and hopefully find a way out of that environment.

I do understand that generalization is not good, obviously, but why so many males behave violently? That’s my problem. I also, as I said in the original post, find it extremely unfair for society to have absurd expectations for women to be seen as attractive (such as being completely hairless as a baby?). Those are the some of the main issues in my struggling brain .

And yes, you can’t really give any advice in this situation. Although nothing explicit has ever happened to me up until this point…it may happen anytime. I’ve thought of carrying a pocket knife or something especially since I come home from school at 8 PM (from 2 PM to 8 PM, I know it sucks but we have no choice, the program is too occupied). You just never know, huh…

As for the country I live in… well, I’m hesitant to reveal it just yet. However, it’s in south-eastern Europe so that may be a big hint .

By the way…let me make sure that this isn’t misinterpreted. Not everywhere across my country is like that. Not at all. But there’s a huge problem in rural areas and small towns especially. This is what the media shows, this is what the town I live in exemplifies.

 

[ynotzap]

I do understand that generalization is not good, obviously, but why so many males behave violently? That’s my problem. I also, as I said in the original post, find it extremely unfair for society to have absurd expectations for women to be seen as attractive (such as being completely hairless as a baby?). Those are the some of the main issues in my struggling brain .

And yes, you can’t really give any advice in this situation. Although nothing explicit has ever happened to me up until this point…it may happen anytime. I’ve thought of carrying a pocket knife or something especially since I come home from school at 8 PM (from 2 PM to 8 PM, I know it sucks but we have no choice, the program is too occupied). You just never know, huh…

As for the country I live in… well, I’m hesitant to reveal it just yet. However, it’s in south-eastern Europe so that may be a big hint .

By the way…let me make sure that this isn’t misinterpreted. Not everywhere across my country is like that. Not at all. But there’s a huge problem in rural areas and small towns especially. This is what the media shows, this is what the town I live in exemplifies.

I have no doubt that if you studied Christianity, and asked God to enlighten you, you would know why men act violently, and women are absorb in what is called vanity, the adoration of the human body, by both men and women. Violence leads to violence. We in America in some places are considering carrying guns because of the murder of innocent people by the mentally afflicted. The whole human race is afflicted, and we don’t recognize the source, but blame each other. The Christian Catholic Church enlightens us as to the source. Of course it involves Faith in Jesus Christ which is a “supernatural gift” freely given, meant for all, but how many avail themselves of the invitation, or how many know of the invitation to this most precious gift? Reason should lead you to inquire because of your difficulties.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Yeah, that’s indeed true. But it’s so much potential wasted. I just find this situation very sad and angers me that I really can’t do anything about it. However…the adult life is even worse, especially when I don’t agree with those things related to femininity(mind you, socially constructed). What about that? It’s not like I’ll magically and radically change my opinions when I turn 18.

My daughter was bullied in school and would call me from school crying. I’ll tell you what I told her. It isn’t about you it is about them. Something they lack in their lives, something they are making up for. So you can be angry and frustrated. That is normal, especially at 15 years. But you can’t change people. It’s just a fact that some people in this world really suck at being human. Others excel far greater than you or I. You can only control who you are, and no one else, so focus on being the best human you can be. The others around you are doing the same, or will be as they mature. You never know, sometimes friendships form even with those who you once viewed as unfriendly, or even hostile towards you.

In the end my daughter made friends with one of her bullies, several years later, and it turned out that life was real struggle for them. They actually needed compassion more than condemnation. So take it there. Show your compassion!

 

[TaurusRex]

Well…I should start by saying that I’m only 15 and English is not my first language. Therefore, pardon any mistake.
Although I’m young somehow I managed to create a huge amount of hatred inside myself. The source of this…? Well, almost everything around me. From the absurd expectations of society to the simplest reaction in everyday life. I realize it’s not alright as it’s seriously consuming me inside out. But in the same time I enjoy the state that I’m in. Somehow it gives me motivation (a honestly twisted one) to fight anything that is against what I stand for. It’s obviously not only hatred but in combination with rage and despair. I know, hard words for somebody so young, but you’d be surprised to know what impact everything has on me. And well, what could be so deranging for me?
First of all, I can’t fit in any social group that I find. I just started high school and I hoped it would be a little better… it is, but not in the way that I wanted it to be. I just realized that I’m just capable of morphing my personality into different ones just to have a few idiots around me at school. Yes, idiots, because I can’t talk with them about anything serious at all. Take world problems , religion, philosophy, art (any kind) , foreign languages, science… anything I’m interested in and excel in . All they do is create unnecessary drama about boys and then, when they finish all of that, act like nothing happened. Which is impossible…considering what chaos they’re capable of creating. I just can’t find anybody on the same level as me . Being female that’s even harder. It’s not like I don’t enjoy talking about common things now and then…but not so effing often!!

Secondly…almost every person around me is obsessed with female’s beauty and how they should look like. I am , personally, satisfied with my appearance and can say that I like it ,but I despise make-up and overly-girly clothes. I know how to apply make-up and I’m ok with it. I don’t need anyone to pluck my eyebrows because I am capable of doing that too (however I need to improve a little bit here). However…that’s not all that is expected of a young girl. Young girlsmust, apparently, have 0 hair on their bodies , which is impossible for me , have 100 tons of make-up on their faces, gradually destroy their hair by always straightening it or anything like that and OF COURSE … run around after the opposite sex! What the hell is wrong with people?
Well…that’s the thing. I strongly disagree with all of this. I don’t want to lose half of the summer with shaving my d-amned legs and swearing at men that catcall me or my friends (needless to say…that happens almost every time.) . And what p-sses me off the most is the fact that men don’t need to do anything with this. They’re so carefree, so indifferent to anything. In the same time they feel like everything is supposed to revolve around their lustful needs and male arrogance . I’m sorry if this offends anybody, but I’m talking from my scarce experience of 15 years. I haven’t found one single male that doesn’t adhere to that .I don’t like having such a bad impression of more than half of the human population…but what can I do? I feel trapped. If I do not submit myself to those ideas I’ll most likely never find a partner because things are getting tougher and tougher each year and almost always will be regarded as a weird person. Cuz I don’t like "normal " things.

Sometimes I feel like I should just leave Earth once and for all because I don’t think I can go on with my life normally with so much pressure on me. I can’t be as creative as I want to be. Everything is restricting and from my point of view, abnormal. It’s like you would cut off the wings of a butterfly. I know it’s a lot to read and I hope the mature people on here will answer because honestly I don’t know where to turn anymore. It’s a lot building up and I dread the moment I’ll finally grow up. Oh God, the “wonderful” world of vicious adults.

Please give me any advice that you have and feel free to debate those problems. There’s a lot to discuss.
(If this isn’t in the right forum, please move it ! None of the other options seemed suitable)

Vivian,
how much free time you have is beyond me and as an academic student I sure didn’t have much …
hope you do well in school and can spare the time for personal female grooming;
However, I suspect you just haven’t met a fellow on whom you care to waste your time yet.

When you do, please don’t get discouraged because you’re still young and you’ll probably get plenty of opportunities to fine tune your personal appeal.

 

[Vivian42]

Vivian,
how much free time you have is beyond me and as an academic student I sure didn’t have much …
hope you do well in school and can spare the time for personal female grooming;
However, I suspect you just haven’t met a fellow on whom you care to waste your time yet.

When you do, please don’t get discouraged because you’re still young and you’ll probably get plenty of opportunities to fine tune your personal appeal.

Oh wow, you really missed the point. Not sure if you meant to write this in an offensive manner but whatever. I do have enough time for myself, but I’d rather use it researching and doing all sorts of interesting things…especially in the summer. Summer is great mostly because you can explore a lot of your surroundings. I won’t go in detail about everything that’s of interest to me because there are too many things . And just for the record…I do very well in school. Should I put emphasis on “very well”?

As for being discouraged…I guess I am, but not because I think that a man won’t find me attractive. I am discouraged because I can’t comprehend their way of thinking. It is very disturbing to think that I should “fine tune” my personal appeal whereas he (or she, you never know ) is free to look like a monkey or any other hairy primate. See what’s my problem? Sometimes I’d love to just follow the norm and go on with my life in an ignorant state of mind…but then I get ticked off by those little little tiny things that affect my personal life. I see that you’re one of those people that have the mindset that I’m opposed to. Mind enlarging upon the subject? What do I do if I’m perfectly fine with my body in its natural state and I don’t want to do unnecessary changes to it?

I’m very thankful to everybody answering on this thread and I found some advice to be really useful. However, this is the only problem that hasn’t been resolved. So , I’m hoping that maybe you’ll enlighten me

 

[TaurusRex]

Oh wow, you really missed the point. Not sure if you meant to write this in an offensive manner but whatever. I do have enough time for myself, but I’d rather use it researching and doing all sorts of interesting things…especially in the summer. Summer is great mostly because you can explore a lot of your surroundings. I won’t go in detail about everything that’s of interest to me because there are too many things . And just for the record…I do very well in school. Should I put emphasis on “very well”?

As for being discouraged…I guess I am, but not because I think that a man won’t find me attractive. I am discouraged because I can’t comprehend their way of thinking. It is very disturbing to think that I should “fine tune” my personal appeal whereas he (or she, you never know ) is free to look like a monkey or any other hairy primate. See what’s my problem? Sometimes I’d love to just follow the norm and go on with my life in an ignorant state of mind…but then I get ticked off by those little little tiny things that affect my personal life. I see that you’re one of those people that have the mindset that I’m opposed to. Mind enlarging upon the subject? What do I do if I’m perfectly fine with my body in its natural state and I don’t want to do unnecessary changes to it?

I’m very thankful to everybody answering on this thread and I found some advice to be really useful. However, this is the only problem that hasn’t been resolved. So , I’m hoping that maybe you’ll enlighten me

Vivian,
there was no offense intended in my response to you and I tried to avoid going into anything that I felt could be taken offensively;
However, this comment that follows by you I feel gave just cause for my response:

I don’t like having such a bad impression of more than half of the human population…but what can I do? I feel trapped. If I do not submit myself to those ideas I’ll most likely never find a partner because things are getting tougher and tougher each year and almost always will be regarded as a weird person. Cuz I don’t like "normal " things

It certainly does seem to me that you’re interested in finding a partner from that comment
And so basically I just gave the standard response that you haven’t met the right fellow yet …
just tried to be amusing with my comment of “wasting your time trying to look more appealing to him”.

Anyway, I certainly do see from your response to me that we do seem to be on a different wave-length;
So adios senorita.

 

[Allegra]

Me? To start something like that? From what I know you need funding and support from people in different positions of power … and that’s for adults. I, as a teenager, have no rights to start anything like that. I can support and join organizations, but nothing more than that.
If you meant something else, please clarify.

Why? You can start volunteering to help collect food and clothing, clean and do maintain the homes of the elderly, raise money to build wells in Africa, collects items for a women’s shelter. There’s all sorts of things a group of young people can do.

 

[Vivian42]

I have no doubt that if you studied Christianity, and asked God to enlighten you, you would know why men act violently, and women are absorb in what is called vanity, the adoration of the human body, by both men and women. Violence leads to violence. We in America in some places are considering carrying guns because of the murder of innocent people by the mentally afflicted. The whole human race is afflicted, and we don’t recognize the source, but blame each other. The Christian Catholic Church enlightens us as to the source. Of course it involves Faith in Jesus Christ which is a “supernatural gift” freely given, meant for all, but how many avail themselves of the invitation, or how many know of the invitation to this most precious gift? Reason should lead you to inquire because of your difficulties.

Oh boy… I did study Christianity. A lot. Why do you think there’s nothing written about my religion?
It’s so good for you Americans to be able to carry guns around. That adds a lot to the feeling of being safe outside. That’s one of the things I really appreciate of America. Too bad that’s not the case here.
I’ve thought about these issues…of course. I came here looking for your opinions, guys, and it would have been silly to start spurting out all my ideas on those subjects (many of which are still under development ) . Here I go with my perspective.

Here’s the thing, I’ve mentioned that those problems are prevalent in rural areas and small towns. Wanna know why I did so? Because there’s an alarmingly low level of education. Education, combined with men’s generally testosterone driven violent reactions to EVERYTHING … I guess leads to that. Though it’s not like they can’t control it, unless they have some mental disability. That just shows that they enjoy their little moments of power over a weaker individual. How nice. I guess that’s how most wars were started. (Before you rage…not every male…and especially in disgusting and chaotic areas)

My opinion on why females (not all, I’m the living proof) like to stare at themselves hours and hours in the mirror is quite controversial. But I’ll share it with you even at the cost of getting flamed by everybody . Girls have been hit from all sides, since their most ancient memory, with images of how a grown-up and nice lady should look like. Of course, most people overlook this and act like it has no impact upon the psyche…it does. It’s not about what’s aesthetically pleasing to everybody as a normal thing, because a 200 years ago that wasn’t the case (not the same perspective on beauty). So…all of those images build up in the subconscious and create a perfected image of the self that must be achieved…otherwise you fail in romantic relationships and generally at everything (that’s kinda funny tho) . Or at least that’s what the anxiety and low self-esteem indirectly say. Because humans are far from perfection and everybody realizes that…and I think that’s the source of frustration ,at least partly. They know that they can’t achieve that…yet still believe that if they don’t they’ll be failures all their lives. Plus many many other problems individuals face…

Story time!
Once I dared to go out with some sports pants that were a little higher than the normal length of regular long pants (not sure how explicit that is). I didn’t shave for a week or so and the hair was obviously a little bit grown (that was 2 summers ago I think). When I came back from the spot where I had been running I met 2 of my friends. One male and the other female. Obviously, the female was nicely epilated and the male had manly manly hair all over his limbs. I didn’t care. I didn’t say anything. The female friend hugged me …then stared down to my pants and saw a little bit of my naked leg. Oh my God! What a shock it must have been . I saw that in her eyes . Again, I didn’t say anything and I forced her with my terrible apparent ignorance to deal with the situation. But , really, the atmosphere was nasty. I can’t believe people get worked up for sh-t like that. And it’s not like I did it on purpose. The pants were long enough (or so I thought) and I didn’t have to shave. So…yeah.

Welp , sorry for this long wall of text. Oh…and about Jesus Christ…I just have to say that I doubt he’d be happy about those things. I’m just saying…maybe, from what he had told everybody…that…just maybe… he hates (or highly dislikes) violence? Not sure if being male is a justification for being violent as hell. How about one good dose of “being aware of what’s going on in the world and trying (at least) to fix it” ?

Yeah, so those are my views, although extremely shortened down . I don’t think it’s the case to go deeper into that as it’s too complex. I appreciate you trying to bring me to the right path but it isn’t happening until I get all my questions answered (no, nothing mentioned on this thread is one of my great concerns) . Until now, Jesus hasn’t convinced me. Sorry.

Also, for everybody responding, please try to read my other posts as I said some things that are available for other answers of yours. When I find an opportunity I write everything I have to on that subject. This is a good example. And…also… I did mention that my views would be controversial, right? Please don’t feel offended and keep in mind that I’m 15, still young and malleable , not a closed-minded individual. I can change my opinions anytime if countered with great arguments
Again, thanks everybody participating.

 

[Vivian42]

Why? You can start volunteering to help collect food and clothing, clean and do maintain the homes of the elderly, raise money to build wells in Africa, collects items for a women’s shelter. There’s all sorts of things a group of young people can do.

Life is very different in America. Very.
As I already said, we only have one organization that’s quite inactive. I can’t create one by myself. I won’t get approval. I can give old clothes to foster care or anything that’s good for younger children. I can give money to begging people on the street , although that’s not the best strategy against that. When that organization does something, I can help. But there’s nothing here that helps anybody in Africa. There are no women’s shelters. I think we do have a home for elderly people…although I’m not sure where. I guess it isn’t well-kept anyway and doesn’t receive help from teens. Yeah, it’s that mysterious. I wonder what goes on in there . There are few things that I can do while I’m still here. Very few. It’s your business if you do believe me or not, but it’s very different here. I guess even our decent town (in comparison to others) is underdeveloped.
Plus, even if there were some random organizations to come here and organize anything, we wouldn’t know . It’s not exactly the same, but some people came here and informed our superiors about a trip to America (isn’t that ironic?) that we can get if we win something similar to an English Olympiad . It was something safe and supported by the government. Well…the information arrived to us 1 day before the deadline of recruitment and obviously every rich person in the town had already registered their child , so we had no chance. It’s very unfair but we can’t do nothing about it for now.

 

[Vivian42]

Vivian,
there was no offense intended in my response to you and I tried to avoid going into anything that I felt could be taken offensively;
However, this comment that follows by you I feel gave just cause for my response:

It certainly does seem to me that you’re interested in finding a partner from that comment
And so basically I just gave the standard response that you haven’t met the right fellow yet …
just tried to be amusing with my comment of “wasting your time trying to look more appealing to him”.

Anyway, I certainly do see from your response to me that we do seem to be on a different wave-length;
So adios senorita.

I understand. I thought you meant something like “you have too much time on your hands…bother yourself with school rather with stuff like these 'cause you’ll understand when you grow older” . Yes, I am interested in finding a partner. I don’t fancy the idea of being a lone wolf, although it isn’t really that bad of an idea. I’d still love to hear your side of the argument (as I already said what really bothers me), but it’s alright if you don’t want to. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[ynotzap]

Vivian 42:
To paraphrase your statement: " I won’t fit in because I will always be regarded as a weird person cuz I don’t like “normal things”. Did you ever question the normality of things, just because they seem or are popular? Is it normal for men to be lustful just because they are? Is it normal to be more involved with one’s appearance, then with one’s integrity, and quality of person? Is it normal to be degrading towards others, hateful, disrespectful, uncharitable, all of this because many people are? This is the point, what you may regard as “normal” in truth is not normal just because it is prevalent. You need another perspective, to rise above your present point of view and experience, to understand why it isn’t really “normal” When you understand this, you will be able to adjust and find some degree of peace and understanding.

 

[Vivian42]

Vivian 42:
To paraphrase your statement: " I won’t fit in because I will always be regarded as a weird person cuz I don’t like “normal things”. Did you ever question the normality of things, just because they seem or are popular? Is it normal for men to be lustful just because they are? Is it normal to be more involved with one’s appearance, then with one’s integrity, and quality of person? Is it normal to be degrading towards others, hateful, disrespectful, uncharitable, all of this because many people are? This is the point, what you may regard as “normal” in truth is not normal just because it is prevalent. You need another perspective, to rise above your present point of view and experience, to understand why it isn’t really “normal” When you understand this, you will be able to adjust and find some degree of peace and understanding.

Yes, I agree 100%. I don’t find any of those things normal! That’s my point. But, however, as you can recall in my original post I stated that I had a bigger problem with my hatred. I don’t hate because other people hate. I hate because dark thoughts trigger that and I can’t quite control it now. Random thoughts that come by whenever I see , for example, a very shallow woman . Or anyone that’s filled to the core with negativity. I just sense it and then I break down in suppressed anger and hatred. It’s really easy to become corrupted…whether by natural means or not.
I really think that I should change my perspective to something positive . To something that gives hope and enables me to try changing whatever I feel against. I recognize this , I know that’s what I have to do. That’s exactly why I came here. To ask for advice and to see people’s different points of views. I shared mine, although is kind of a negative view, I hope that it can morph soon enough. I do hold some strong beliefs and I hope I don’t offend anybody. I didn’t come here to anger or upset anybody.
Thank you for your support.

 

[ynotzap]

Yes, I agree 100%. I don’t find any of those things normal! That’s my point. But, however, as you can recall in my original post I stated that I had a bigger problem with my hatred. I don’t hate because other people hate. I hate because dark thoughts trigger that and I can’t quite control it now. Random thoughts that come by whenever I see , for example, a very shallow woman . Or anyone that’s filled to the core with negativity. I just sense it and then I break down in suppressed anger and hatred. It’s really easy to become corrupted…whether by natural means or not.
I really think that I should change my perspective to something positive . To something that gives hope and enables me to try changing whatever I feel against. I recognize this , I know that’s what I have to do. That’s exactly why I came here. To ask for advice and to see people’s different points of views. I shared mine, although is kind of a negative view, I hope that it can morph soon enough. I do hold some strong beliefs and I hope I don’t offend anybody. I didn’t come here to anger or upset anybody.
Thank you for your support.

Anger and hatred for evil is justified, the one big danger is to direct this anger and hatred towards ourselves, and others. When we do this, we condemn ourselves because we do some of the same things, we can condemn the sin, but never the sinner, because we all are sinners. This is why you need another true perspective, to see why this is so, and what to do about it. I already suggested the true way. Something you need to consider. We can’t give ourselves what we don’t have, that is the power to change at the core of our being, and this is where the change must take place. Only God can do that, and there is plenty of proof that He has done this for many people, I for one.

 

[Allegra]

Life is very different in America. Very.
As I already said, we only have one organization that’s quite inactive. I can’t create one by myself. I won’t get approval. I can give old clothes to foster care or anything that’s good for younger children. I can give money to begging people on the street , although that’s not the best strategy against that. When that organization does something, I can help. But there’s nothing here that helps anybody in Africa. There are no women’s shelters. I think we do have a home for elderly people…although I’m not sure where. I guess it isn’t well-kept anyway and doesn’t receive help from teens. Yeah, it’s that mysterious. I wonder what goes on in there . There are few things that I can do while I’m still here. Very few. It’s your business if you do believe me or not, but it’s very different here. I guess even our decent town (in comparison to others) is underdeveloped.
Plus, even if there were some random organizations to come here and organize anything, we wouldn’t know . It’s not exactly the same, but some people came here and informed our superiors about a trip to America (isn’t that ironic?) that we can get if we win something similar to an English Olympiad . It was something safe and supported by the government. Well…the information arrived to us 1 day before the deadline of recruitment and obviously every rich person in the town had already registered their child , so we had no chance. It’s very unfair but we can’t do nothing about it for now.

Seriously? Your superior intellect appears to be failing you today. You don’t need “approval” to get a group of friends together and collect clothes, food, or toiletries for the homeless. And if you have access to the internet, you have access to any number of charitable organizations that help provide clean water in Africa. I work at an elementary school, and we had a group of nine-year-olds organize a penny war for the school in order to earn money for such an organization. Another year, a group of 5th graders organized a “shave off”, where over 50 students, teachers, and parents shaved their heads in order to raise money for pediatric cancer research. By the time the event was over, they had raised over $9,000 for kids with cancer! If these little babies can come up with ways to volunteer and help others, surely a big, smart teenage girl like you can come up with something creative, especially if you look for like-minded kids to help you.

 

[WJeffrey]

Vivian,
there was no offense intended in my response to you and I tried to avoid going into anything that I felt could be taken offensively;
However, this comment that follows by you I feel gave just cause for my response:

It certainly does seem to me that you’re interested in finding a partner from that comment
And so basically I just gave the standard response that you haven’t met the right fellow yet …
just tried to be amusing with my comment of “wasting your time trying to look more appealing to him”.

Anyway, I certainly do see from your response to me that we do seem to be on a different wave-length;
So adios senorita.

I found your comment prior to this one to be offensive. I don’t think telling an intelligent strong young woman that her happiness is contingent on meeting a boy is helpful. Perhaps it was in the 1950’s, but a lot has changed in the past 60 years.

At least you didn’t tell her that her place is in the kitchen.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Here’s the thing, I’ve mentioned that those problems are prevalent in rural areas and small towns. Wanna know why I did so? Because there’s an alarmingly low level of education. Education, combined with men’s generally testosterone driven violent reactions to EVERYTHING … I guess leads to that. Though it’s not like they can’t control it, unless they have some mental disability. That just shows that they enjoy their little moments of power over a weaker individual. How nice. I guess that’s how most wars were started. (Before you rage…not every male…and especially in disgusting and chaotic areas)

My opinion on why females (not all, I’m the living proof) like to stare at themselves hours and hours in the mirror is quite controversial. But I’ll share it with you even at the cost of getting flamed by everybody . Girls have been hit from all sides, since their most ancient memory, with images of how a grown-up and nice lady should look like. Of course, most people overlook this and act like it has no impact upon the psyche…it does. It’s not about what’s aesthetically pleasing to everybody as a normal thing, because a 200 years ago that wasn’t the case (not the same perspective on beauty). So…all of those images build up in the subconscious and create a perfected image of the self that must be achieved…otherwise you fail in romantic relationships and generally at everything (that’s kinda funny tho) . Or at least that’s what the anxiety and low self-esteem indirectly say. Because humans are far from perfection and everybody realizes that…and I think that’s the source of frustration ,at least partly. They know that they can’t achieve that…yet still believe that if they don’t they’ll be failures all their lives. Plus many many other problems individuals face…

Story time!
Once I dared to go out with some sports pants that were a little higher than the normal length of regular long pants (not sure how explicit that is). I didn’t shave for a week or so and the hair was obviously a little bit grown (that was 2 summers ago I think). When I came back from the spot where I had been running I met 2 of my friends. One male and the other female. Obviously, the female was nicely epilated and the male had manly manly hair all over his limbs. I didn’t care. I didn’t say anything. The female friend hugged me …then stared down to my pants and saw a little bit of my naked leg. Oh my God! What a shock it must have been . I saw that in her eyes . Again, I didn’t say anything and I forced her with my terrible apparent ignorance to deal with the situation. But , really, the atmosphere was nasty. I can’t believe people get worked up for sh-t like that. And it’s not like I did it on purpose. The pants were long enough (or so I thought) and I didn’t have to shave. So…yeah.

Welp , sorry for this long wall of text. Oh…and about Jesus Christ…I just have to say that I doubt he’d be happy about those things. I’m just saying…maybe, from what he had told everybody…that…just maybe… he hates (or highly dislikes) violence? Not sure if being male is a justification for being violent as hell. How about one good dose of “being aware of what’s going on in the world and trying (at least) to fix it” ?

Yeah, so those are my views, although extremely shortened down . I don’t think it’s the case to go deeper into that as it’s too complex. I appreciate you trying to bring me to the right path but it isn’t happening until I get all my questions answered (no, nothing mentioned on this thread is one of my great concerns) . Until now, Jesus hasn’t convinced me. Sorry.

Also, for everybody responding, please try to read my other posts as I said some things that are available for other answers of yours. When I find an opportunity I write everything I have to on that subject. This is a good example. And…also… I did mention that my views would be controversial, right? Please don’t feel offended and keep in mind that I’m 15, still young and malleable , not a closed-minded individual. I can change my opinions anytime if countered with great arguments
Again, thanks everybody participating.

Very good and there’s nothing wrong with how you’re thinking. It is in fact, critical thinking, which is awesome to see.

You seem like a bright young woman. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

Rage and anger are normal to some degree at your age, it is to your credit that you recognize it and want to do something about it. Peer pressure is also normal for your age, as are feelings of rebellion. You have the choice, but suppression isn’t the answer. That is the road to depression. Instead focus on what is causing the feelings and work on turning your view to the positive. So some stranger sets you off, stop and think about why and then work on noticing something positive about the person. No matter how small it may be. This will take effort on your part. A positive outlook along with your intelligence will get you through.

As regards to men, well, men are men. That’s why I, personally, like them. All the things you are noticing about men, is normal! I once, years ago, said to my husband that so many men met in business settings were too flirtatious and seemed like all they ever thought was that every woman was there’s for the taking. He said, we can only hope! That made me laugh, but also realize, most men just like women and always have a hope going that all the women like them too. It’s how us humans are, again, it is normal. Just let the guys be who they are. Maybe someday you’ll come across one that you really do like back, and that guy will be lucky to have that hope fulfilled in you.