I just can't do it no matter how hard I try

[DasGood]

I can’t do this Catholic thing. My family has been Catholic for generations and I want to uphold family tradition but I just don’t feel that I belong to the Church. I want to believe that the Church is true and that what it teaches are inline with my beliefs but nothing is materializing for me.

I do not want to let my family down at the sight of me not attending Church. Part of me is terrified at letting them down like this. I find the Church to be uninspired and lacking in enthusiasm for the word of God. How do I make amends with my family or how can I perhaps meditate on this longer from a Catholic perspective? Should I speak with my local priest?

And do I even deserve to be attending Church with this much doubt planted in my mind?

 

[john78]

talking with your local priest is the best advice anyone here can honestly give you, and it is the best thought you had on your own,

talking to a priest you feel comfortable with is important,

and what you would be seeking is spiritual direction , actually any clergy would do, from a sister, to deacon or priest.

and also, don’t be afraid to talk with your family about it before you make a final decision to just " abandon ship " .

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I can’t do this Catholic thing. My family has been Catholic for generations and I want to uphold family tradition but I just don’t feel that I belong to the Church. I want to believe that the Church is true and that what it teaches are inline with my beliefs but nothing is materializing for me.

I do not want to let my family down at the sight of me not attending Church. Part of me is terrified at letting them down like this. I find the Church to be uninspired and lacking in enthusiasm for the word of God. How do I make amends with my family or how can I perhaps meditate on this longer from a Catholic perspective? Should I speak with my local priest?

And do I even deserve to be attending Church with this much doubt planted in my mind?

UNINSPIRED AND LACKING IN ENTHUSIASM FOR THE WORD OF GOD HOW???

Are you involved in RCIA? Do you help teach catechism? Run a Bible study?

If not, why not? If you see a perceived lack in your particular parish church (since I hardly think you have visited every Church in the world, my friend), why not do something about it yourself? Maybe Christ is calling YOU to help others hear His voice. . .not to walk away and leave them. . .

 

[Ammo]

I can’t do this Catholic thing. My family has been Catholic for generations and I want to uphold family tradition but I just don’t feel that I belong to the Church. I want to believe that the Church is true and that what it teaches are inline with my beliefs but nothing is materializing for me.

I do not want to let my family down at the sight of me not attending Church. Part of me is terrified at letting them down like this. I find the Church to be uninspired and lacking in enthusiasm for the word of God. How do I make amends with my family or how can I perhaps meditate on this longer from a Catholic perspective? Should I speak with my local priest?

And do I even deserve to be attending Church with this much doubt planted in my mind?

So what inspires you and what do you get enthusiastic about in your daily life? God promises an eternity of joy and happiness, in contrast to that what are you getting from day to day? God also presents wonderful mysteries, sorrows, and gifts. I’ll bet you can’t offer me better than that! Pray, pray, pray!

 

[marykate2]

I felt this way too for a long time. I struggled with the faith from about the age of 9, and stopped practicing during college. But my conscience was never at peace. Finally, I just started going to Mass again, and then I started going to daily Mass when I could. I followed the “rules” for being in the state of grace and went to confession (with imperfect contrition) when I needed to. This went on for years (like a good 5 years). I did not have much to say to God, but I accepted that I could sit in church in the state of grace, and I did want to believe. I didn’t see it then, but during that time when I felt like nothing was changing interiorly, something was changing. I started to miss the days I didn’t get to Mass. And then one day, I realized that I did believe. It’s been ten years and my faith is as strong as steel.

My advice to you is to persevere. You will never have peace if you give up. Stay in the state of grace and go to mass. Think about God. Just talk to him once in a while during the day.

This blog sort of hits the nail on the head in terms of that interior state:

ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/we-wait-in-joyful-hope/#ixzz1YvFqSaVH

 

[B79]

DasGood,

Please don’t stop praying on this! And yes, by all means speak to your priest, and keep attending Mass! If you ‘can’t do the Catholic thing,’ let God do it for you – all you have to do is cooperate with His grace. You don’t have to ‘feel’ that you belong – you belong, by virtue of your baptism, to the Body of Christ and the Family of God. Where you go from here isn’t a matter of how you ‘feel’ – it’s a matter of your will, in cooperation with God’s grace. If you believe the Catholics around you to be uninspired, then study the lives of the saints, especially the martyrs, who were on fire for God! WE are called to be those living saints today, bringing those around us closer to God Who is Himself an all-consuming fire of LOVE for us. Spend time before Christ in the tabernacle, and He will share this love with you; think of His love also every time you look at a crucifix, and try to meditate often on His Passion (which is made present again at every Mass). Let yourself be drawn close to God, Who loves you infinitely and in a personal way. God bless.

 

[Robertanthony]

I felt this way too for a long time. I struggled with the faith from about the age of 9, and stopped practicing during college. But my conscience was never at peace. Finally, I just started going to Mass again, and then I started going to daily Mass when I could. I followed the “rules” for being in the state of grace and went to confession (with imperfect contrition) when I needed to. This went on for years (like a good 5 years). I did not have much to say to God, but I accepted that I could sit in church in the state of grace, and I did want to believe. I didn’t see it then, but during that time when I felt like nothing was changing interiorly, something was changing. I started to miss the days I didn’t get to Mass. And then one day, I realized that I did believe. It’s been ten years and my faith is as strong as steel.

My advice to you is to persevere. You will never have peace if you give up. Stay in the state of grace and go to mass. Think about God. Just talk to him once in a while during the day.

This blog sort of hits the nail on the head in terms of that interior state:

ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/we-wait-in-joyful-hope/#ixzz1YvFqSaVH

This is awesome. Congratulations on your perseverance, glory and praise to God for honouring the steps you took toward him. I’m edified and inspired by your story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Whenever people going through crises of faith will post, I’ll remember your testimony.

 

[Christianus_Dei]

It could be that you’re finding your parish uninspiring and impassionate(is your parish Charismatic?), and not the Church itself. But like others have said, don’t blow off the possibility that you’re the one who’s being unreceptive. Now, that’s not necessarily the case, but still.

 

[CPC]

And do I even deserve to be attending Church with this much doubt planted in my mind?

What is it specifically that is troubling you? Your last line makes me think you feel unworthy. That, my friend is the work of The Great Deceiver, The Accuser, The Evil One. He is the one that tells you if you had an IQ of 180 everything would be OK. He is the one that tells you that if you were just better looking life would be better. He is the one that tells you the Church is not what She teaches She is. The Great Liar is the one that says you are not worthy. Do not be deceived. Jesus is THE Way, THE Truth and THE Life. HE is LOVE and YOU are created in His image. Do not despair, do not be afraid. None of us are worthy on our own. We are made worthy by the Blood of The Lamb. You were washed clean on the day of your baptism. Maybe the only gift you can offer is your doubt. Surrender it to the Lord. Call Him to come to you. That gift alone may be more pleasing to Him than the works and prayers of all the rest of your friends and family.

Persevere through this time. Read the Gospel of John from cover to cover. Walk into a Confessional and confess your doubt. Its OK. You are loved. Say, “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.” The fact that you posted this shows the Spirit is at work in you! Don’t run looking for inspiration work to create it in your Parish.

Yours in the Love of His Sacred Heart,
Patrick

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

DasGood, your relationship with the Church sounds somewhat similar to my own. There’s no easy advice here. The fact is, if I left the Church, my entire family would never talk to me again. Such is their “love” for me, and so, sadly, is the way I view the Church’s love for me. Do what I say, believe what I say, and I will welcome you. Challenge anything, express curiosity, employ the human reason God has given you and… not so much. So that is a crisis. What is a man to do?

One is left with this decision: pretend to believe certain things which you do not, and thus violate one of the commandments… or leave the Church and thus violate even more of the commandments.

My one respite is that I trust Jesus to be more just, loving and welcoming of human reason than his Church on Earth. After all, his Church on Earth is, in the final analysis, composed of human beings. It is not Jesus himself.

God bless you, DasGood.

 

[Lucky7]

I can’t do this Catholic thing. My family has been Catholic for generations and I want to uphold family tradition but I just don’t feel that I belong to the Church. ** I want to believe that the Church is true and that what it teaches are inline with my beliefs but nothing is materializing for me. **

I do not want to let my family down at the sight of me not attending Church. Part of me is terrified at letting them down like this. ** I find the Church to be uninspired and lacking in enthusiasm for the word of God.** How do I make amends with my family or how can I perhaps meditate on this longer from a Catholic perspective? Should I speak with my local priest?

And do I even deserve to be attending Church with this much doubt planted in my mind?

OK, there is lots I could write here, but I will give a few soundbites based on what I have bolded:

(1) It sounds like you are trying to get the Church beliefs/teachings in line with yours rather than the other way around (ie. the cart before the horse). It is important to read why the Church has the authority to teach us what Christ wants us to believe and know. Do that research. Go to RCIA. Once you understadn that you will then reverse your thinking…“how can I get my beliefs in line with the Church’s?” Whenever I have questioned/struggled with Church teachings (and it’s OKAY to do that), I go back to…the Church has the authority…I need to change.

(2) Love is not a feeling; it is an action and choice. We do not go to Church to feel good. We go to church because we should and we owe it to God. The Mass has two main components : the Liturgy of the Word AND the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Focusing only on the Word of God is missing half of what God wants us to focus on. There are many Protestant churches that focus on just the WOrd of God and don’t have the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Also, not every homily is going to feel inspiring and that’s okay. Right now, my biggest issue is that I don’t hear enough priests talking about th tough stuff…but we are still hearing the Word of God.

(3) You are always worthy to attend Mass. Anyone can attend mass (even non-Catholics). However, you may only receive communion if you are a Catholic in a state of grace. If you have any mortal sins on your soul, get thee to confession first. In fact, if you do have mortal sins on your soul, that could be a big reason why you are struggling. When we go to confession we also receive graces from our Lord through the priest. Now that I think about it, that would be my first suggestion to you. Once you have done that, go to Mass and receive Christ as often as possible. Also, make a habit of regular confession. My husband and I try to stick to monthly confession (although I admit it doesn’t always happen).

 

[CPC]

, and so, sadly, is the way I view the Church’s love for me. Do what I say, believe what I say, and I will welcome you. Challenge anything, express curiosity, employ the human reason God has given you and… not so much. So that is a crisis. What is a man to do?

One is left with this decision: pretend to believe certain things which you do not, and thus violate one of the commandments… or leave the Church and thus violate even more of the commandments.

My one respite is that I trust Jesus to be more just, loving and welcoming of human reason than his Church on Earth. After all, his Church on Earth is, in the final analysis, composed of human beings. It is not Jesus himself.

God bless you, DasGood.

This is a heartbreaking post. God is Love and He funnels His Love to Earth through His people, the Church. We are the hands and feet of Jesus. Praise God that you have persevered in your participation in the sacraments. Doubt and questioning are allowed. The Gospel is replete with doubt and denial. You have made a salvific decision in that you have decided to keep coming back. Praise Jesus! Post you doubts and questions on the Ask an Apologist section. Find a priest, spiritual director or catechist you can discuss these things with. Walk into the Sacrament of Great Mercy, Reconciliation and Confess these doubts. Seek Jesus’ will for your life on a daily basis. Bring your doubt, sadness, pain and confusion to Him on a daily basis (I use the daily offering to the Sacred Heart). Give it to Him, surrender it to Him. Once your will is in line with His you will have found the Pearl of great price and the Peace that passes all understanding. Keep walking. I guarantee you there are Catholic groups in your area that will provide you the example of Jesus you seek. Don’t be a boat hugger. Get out and walk on the water.

Yours in the Love of His Sacred Heart,
Patrick

 

[DasGood]

talking with your local priest is the best advice anyone here can honestly give you, and it is the best thought you had on your own,

talking to a priest you feel comfortable with is important,

and what you would be seeking is spiritual direction , actually any clergy would do, from a sister, to deacon or priest.

and also, don’t be afraid to talk with your family about it before you make a final decision to just " abandon ship " .

I’ll make sure to schedule some time with my priest asap then. I’m glad my original intention was to go this way.I still don’t know if this is something I can bring up with my family but I’ll be sure to ask my priest.

 

[DasGood]

UNINSPIRED AND LACKING IN ENTHUSIASM FOR THE WORD OF GOD HOW???

Are you involved in RCIA? Do you help teach catechism? Run a Bible study?

If not, why not? If you see a perceived lack in your particular parish church (since I hardly think you have visited every Church in the world, my friend), why not do something about it yourself? Maybe Christ is calling YOU to help others hear His voice. . .not to walk away and leave them. . .

I am not involved nor ever have been with RCIA (to my recollection), I don’t teach catechism but I do run a Catholic Bible study at my University.

I don’t connect with anyone at my parish and find everyone to not sync with my personality. Not really sure how else I can explain it.

 

[DasGood]

So what inspires you and what do you get enthusiastic about in your daily life? God promises an eternity of joy and happiness, in contrast to that what are you getting from day to day? God also presents wonderful mysteries, sorrows, and gifts. I’ll bet you can’t offer me better than that! Pray, pray, pray!

I get inspiration from my studies and receive enthusiasm my from close friends. I feel joy and I feel great these days but going to my local parish zaps me of a lot of my passion.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I am not involved nor ever have been with RCIA (to my recollection), I don’t teach catechism but I do run a Catholic Bible study at my University.

I don’t connect with anyone at my parish and find everyone to not sync with my personality. Not really sure how else I can explain it.

You’re doing a good job. I think I understand what you mean. You might just be in a parish which is not your best fit right now. (Boy, this can really happen a lot at college. Even Catholic College. It was the same decades ago, take it from somebody who was there then.)

It must be extremely frustrating to have the equivalent of a class (and even parish) of Bart Simpson underachievers basically giving you a ‘so-what’ when you try to get them engaged in God’s word. But a lot of times people don’t really seem to react AT THE TIME, and then months or years later what they heard ‘clicks’. Don’t give up.

 

[DasGood]

I felt this way too for a long time. I struggled with the faith from about the age of 9, and stopped practicing during college.

I’ve never stopped practicing in my faith even with the feelings and thoughts I’ve held for the past couple of years. You can put that on my fear of reaction from others. I don’t know if getting an epiphany like yours will ever come for me though and I think holding out for one may be a mistake or even a waste of time for me. I do pray daily and attempt to be in His presence when I can so I’ll keep trying with that.
I’ll also be sure to check out your link when I have the time. Thanks for the kind words and the help.

 

[marykate2]

DasGood,

A wise person told me a long time ago that the Church is there for the sacraments. Some people like the church community, the classes, the social functions, the friendships, getting to know the priests. But that’s not for everyone. It’s true that every church has its “flavor”, especially if you are in a city. Try parish-hopping and find the church that you feel you click with in terms of the Mass. I go to church for confession and Mass (and the occasional interesting talk). I have tried other things but at this stage of my life it’s not for me. Even though I may believe the same things as the devout crowd, I haven’t found friendship naturally occurring there. But these aren’t the reason for the existence of the church. We go to church for the sacraments.

This might sound trivial, but going to an aesthetically beautiful church may also help. Being in an old church where the design is drawing your eyes upward, has a way of drawing the mind and heart up to God as well. Try going to the Mass with the fewest people, so you have more of a sense of being alone with God. These external factors help at the beginning.

 

[DasGood]

DasGood,

Please don’t stop praying on this! And yes, by all means speak to your priest, and keep attending Mass! If you ‘can’t do the Catholic thing,’ let God do it for you – all you have to do is cooperate with His grace. You don’t have to ‘feel’ that you belong – you belong, by virtue of your baptism, to the Body of Christ and the Family of God. Where you go from here isn’t a matter of how you ‘feel’ – it’s a matter of your will, in cooperation with God’s grace. If you believe the Catholics around you to be uninspired, then study the lives of the saints, especially the martyrs, who were on fire for God! WE are called to be those living saints today, bringing those around us closer to God Who is Himself an all-consuming fire of LOVE for us. Spend time before Christ in the tabernacle, and He will share this love with you; think of His love also every time you look at a crucifix, and try to meditate often on His Passion (which is made present again at every Mass). Let yourself be drawn close to God, Who loves you infinitely and in a personal way. God bless.

I will heed your advice and look to those that have served the faith in the best ways for some help. Thank you for all of the advice and the passion for God that I sorely miss in my parish. I wish I could meet more believers in Christ like you!

 

[DasGood]

It could be that you’re finding your parish uninspiring and impassionate(is your parish Charismatic?), and not the Church itself. But like others have said, don’t blow off the possibility that you’re the one who’s being unreceptive. Now, that’s not necessarily the case, but still.

My parish is not Charismatic and I have never been to a Charismatic Catholic parish. It may be a problem within me though it is hard to gauge that at this moment.