I just got denied absolution at confession, what do I do now?

  • Thread starter Thread starter cjmoa
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cjmoa

Guest
I usually go to confession on a weekly basis because I constantly fall into venial and mortal sins (ex. Gossip or lust) and I always intend to not commit these sins anymore. However, earlier today, I came into confession for the same sins and the priest talked about how I wasn’t actually firmly intending to not commit these sins anymore but in my heart I knew I was. This made me really doubt whether I was sorry enough, or if I ever could be sorry enough. I sat sobbing in my bed for a while because I wasn’t forgiven and I really did feel sorry. Now, I’m not sure if I can receive communion tomorrow at mass and if I need to go to confession again, or maybe since I knew I was sorry and I knew I was going to try and commit these sins again and the priest didn’t, that maybe God still forgave me. I’m really unsure about that however
 
Go back to the priest again and get things clarified and do NOT receive the Eucharist until this is done. From what you post, we don’t know whether the priest ‘denied you absolution’ because he didn’t think you were sorry, or because he didn’t think that the sins were mortal, or for some other reason. We don’t know, but the priest you saw does know. Go back to him and get it straight. Ask him to write down, if possible, so that you won’t get confused. Nothing about what your sin was, but rather, “You need to do X in order to receive reconciliation and help yourself to avoid sin”.

That’s what you do now: You do not receive tomorrow, and you go back and talk to the priest and ask him to fully explain until you are CERTAIN you understand exactly what he meant and what you need to do.
 
I sat sobbing in my bed for a while because I wasn’t forgiven and I really did feel sorry. Now, I’m not sure if I can receive communion tomorrow at mass and if I need to go to confession again,
Go to confession again and tell the priest this story. Make him understand how deeply sorry you are.
 
Sounds like you need to get this clarified with the priest and agree on an action plan. Talk to him and get it straight what you need to do.
 
None of us can know why you were denied absolution, but it does seem that you are scrupulous, based on your posting history. It could’ve been that the priest didn’t want to give absolution if the things you confessed weren’t actually sinful, especially if you’re going to confession so frequently.

Seek the help of your priest. It’s not helpful to ask questions on here. All we can do is speculate.

-Fr ACEGC
 
You say you constantly fall into venial and mortal sins.

Being sorry ie having contrition is one component. Having the firm intention to not commit those sins again is another component as you say in your opening post.

Please go and speak with this same priest and ask to have him explain why absolution was refused you. Only he knows the reason why he did what he did.

Go back and see him before you go to Communion, and make a spiritual communion instead.
 
A really helpful guide to have is an Examination of Conscience. The best I have stumbled across recently is this:

https://www.leafletonline.com/examination-of-conscience

It clearly categorizes the various sins, provides examples from today’s culture and explains a category which may not be sins at all: imperfections.
  • Imperfections are not sins so they do not need to be confessed. No distinction is made on this sheet between venial sins and imperfections because it is not always easy to make the distinction. Some things are imperfections because they are very small, other things are imperfections because they are dispositions of the soul and not willful actions or failures, still others because they are habitual.
 
I think there is a solution here.
Did the priest say the absolution prayer and say your sins are forgiven or not? Was the priest saying this just as part of his guidance or did he just straight up say I’m not absolving your sins?
This is why I don’t like face to face confessions. If you go behind the screen you don’t run into these problems.
 
I never heard of a priest denying absolution. That might simply be coincidence, but frankly I never read any sort of doctrine on it or parameters. ( We are copious at putting rules into writing usually).
I can imagine some unintended consequences. Catholics who go to confession exceptionally frequently run a higher risk of a denial.
There is an element of arbitrariness. Discerning someones heart is difficult if not impossible in a confessional. Outside of confessing insincerity, or somehow using the Confessional as a tool ( let’s say to masturbate every week and receive communion every week also… bad example).
Why would a person show up to confess something without contrition? It is like a fraud scheme you can never get away with. And because this is so, denial of absolution puts the Confessor into a position of compounding sin with worse sin. ( Worse, if you had a few venial sins to confess to start with. Now, you are outright trying to defraud the Holy Spirit potentially). Precipitated ironically, by availing to confession frequently. A Christian who goes a few times a year is not likely to be denied absolution to the same extent.
 
I am not assuming about the priest. That would Indict my point.
It I in the inability to know the extent of contrition etc. that raises the question I had.
I wrote I had never heard of it. That’s all.
 
I went to Confession and either the Priest did not assign me a Penance, or I did not understand him (he had an accent). He talked for a while, but I don’t recall hearing a penance. I did hear the absolution though “and I absolve you…”. I didn’t think about the “missing penance” until after I had left the Confession room, and there was a line waiting.

So I just assigned myself a Penance—something similar to what another foreign born Priest has given me that was longer than my average Penance. The Priest talked about some things when he was giving me advice, maybe he was giving me a penance ( I don’t think that was the case). So I said a prayer covering some of the topics he talked about. He spoke fast and had a foreign accent, so I may have missed it. At least I heard the absolution clearly.

Does anyone think what I did was not okay? I have read at least one Priest suggest to people if they forget their penance, to just do a penance that was assigned to you before.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top