I live next door to a registered sex offender

[mjjkp1]

Easter weekend, a time of redemption and forgiveness, my new neighbor (six months) came to me to say that he’s a registered sex offender. Someone reported him to our landlord, and now he’s facing eviction. He asked me to intercede with the landlord, with whom I have a good relationship.

His one offense was 14 years ago. He is in a recovery program; he is willing to speak openly with the other tenants about what happened in the past; and he is willing to sign papers that he will never allow himself to be in a situation alone with any of the children in our 10-unit complex (two teens who live here and two infants/toddlers who visit).

When I say “only offense,” I recognize that once is once too often. However, don’t we have an obligation to help people climb back once they have admitted, confessed, paid for their sin?

I defended the neighbor to the landlord, but I’m not sure that it’s worth being evicted myself, which seems to be where it’s headed if I keep up with defending the neighbor.

Advice?

 

[jmcrae]

Easter weekend, a time of redemption and forgiveness, my new neighbor (six months) came to me to say that he’s a registered sex offender. Someone reported him to our landlord, and now he’s facing eviction. He asked me to intercede with the landlord, with whom I have a good relationship.

His one offense was 14 years ago. He is in a recovery program; he is willing to speak openly with the other tenants about what happened in the past; and he is willing to sign papers that he will never allow himself to be in a situation alone with any of the children in our 10-unit complex (two teens who live here and two infants/toddlers who visit).

When I say “only offense,” I recognize that once is once too often. However, don’t we have an obligation to help people climb back once they have admitted, confessed, paid for their sin?

I defended the neighbor to the landlord, but I’m not sure that it’s worth being evicted myself, which seems to be where it’s headed if I keep up with defending the neighbor.

Advice?

I’m on the side of the people who want him out of the building, quite honestly.

How many times have we castigated our Bishops for not keeping this kind of people away from children? How many times must we be reminded, that this disease is not curable?

If your guy had any sense, he would move to an adults-only building, and he would insist on being placed in a wing where children do not come to visit.

 

[PatriceA]

Personally, he can sign all the papers he wants but as a mother, I would still have a problem with him living in the apartment complex if I was one of the families with children. I don’t know about the laws in your state, but the landlord may not have any choice legally but to evict him.

 

[BrokenFortress]

If it were me, I would not feel comfortable defending a sex offender. Just because if something were to happen while he lives there, I would feel very guilty.

Maybe that’s not the right thing to do though?

 

[markomalley]

Easter weekend, a time of redemption and forgiveness, my new neighbor (six months) came to me to say that he’s a registered sex offender. Someone reported him to our landlord, and now he’s facing eviction. He asked me to intercede with the landlord, with whom I have a good relationship.

His one offense was 14 years ago. He is in a recovery program; he is willing to speak openly with the other tenants about what happened in the past; and he is willing to sign papers that he will never allow himself to be in a situation alone with any of the children in our 10-unit complex (two teens who live here and two infants/toddlers who visit).

When I say “only offense,” I recognize that once is once too often. However, don’t we have an obligation to help people climb back once they have admitted, confessed, paid for their sin?

I defended the neighbor to the landlord, but I’m not sure that it’s worth being evicted myself, which seems to be where it’s headed if I keep up with defending the neighbor.

Advice?

Wellllll…

There’s sex offender and then there’s sex offender.

There are locations where an 18 year old high school senior could become a registered sex offender for life for having relations with a 15 year old high school sophomore. (statutory rape: a sex offense).

Personally, would I think that such a person should be treated the same as a 40 year old who lured and abused an 8 year old? As far as I’m concerned, no.

Maybe you could give just a little more detail so that we could discern whether the guy is a recovering rapist, a recovering pedophile, a recovering pervert, or just a dummy.

 

[Rascalking]

This is a tough one. I think it’s important to forgive and move on, but thank God, I’ve never been the victim of such a crime. Never, ever preach forgiveness to the victims. They’ve earned to right to be angry.

For you, I think it might be best to remember the victims-(no matter how sorry he might be, he can’t take it back)-and perhaps stick your nose out of it. You don’t want to be evicted!

 

[presidentjlh]

This is difficult. If the man has shown to truly be committed to redemption and has not committed a sexual crime since that one 14 years ago…this is difficult…

On one hand, we are called to be charitable and forgiving.

On the other, we must protect our children.

I would seek the advice of a trusted priest in this. This is a very tough decision, and I am not of the knowledge to truly know what to do in this situation.

 

[dnu]

I’m with O’Malley

What were the details of his conviction?

I too know a person who was charged with a felony and spent time in prison for being 18 and having sex with his girlfriend who was not. He is a convicted sex offender, a “child rapist” for doing something on Saturday night that was legal on Thursday night.

I also know a person who is a “sex offender” because in college he got caught taking a drunken pee by the sidewalk during a college party.

Not all “sex offenders” are sex offenders…

Now if the guy really is a scumbag that is a different story…

 

[PatriceA]

This is a tough one. I think it’s important to forgive and move on, but thank God, I’ve never been the victim of such a crime. Never, ever preach forgiveness to the victims. They’ve earned to right to be angry.

For you, I think it might be best to remember the victims-(no matter how sorry he might be, he can’t take it back)-and perhaps stick your nose out of it. You don’t want to be evicted!

The problem is if according to the state law where this situation is occuring, if he is required to not live near the proximity of minors and is asking someone to speak on his behalf, he is asking someone else to break the law.

The law really needs to be changed so that people that are cited in your example aren’t lumped into the truly preverse type of sexual offenders.

 

[flyingfish]

Wellllll…

There’s sex offender and then there’s sex offender.

There are locations where an 18 year old high school senior could become a registered sex offender for life for having relations with a 15 year old high school sophomore. (statutory rape: a sex offense).

Personally, would I think that such a person should be treated the same as a 40 year old who lured and abused an 8 year old? As far as I’m concerned, no.

Maybe you could give just a little more detail so that we could discern whether the guy is a recovering rapist, a recovering pedophile, a recovering pervert, or just a dummy.

Exactly. If it’s a case of consensual sex with an age difference it’s one thing, if it’s actual rape, especially rape of a child, that’s something else entirely.

 

[lynx]

Sex offenders have to live somewhere right? So why not as your neighbor. I believe the Christian thing to do would be to forgive and be cautious. To anyone saying he can’t be helped, he’s mentally ill, I thought God helped with that kind of thing? I guess that’s only if they commit a violent crime.

In short, I wouldn’t be his best friend but I wouldn’t kick him out either. Be cautious, courteous, and let him know you’re watching.

 

[Doc_Keele]

It’s fascinating to see how the Christian traits of forgiveness come through in the last post…oops that’s from an atheist!
guess some people don’t understand that Jesus sat with publicans, probably the sex offenders of their day?
if we treat registered sex offenders like lepers (and Jesus healed lepers), what kind of Christians are we? or are we Pharisees?

 

[lynx]

It’s fascinating to see how the Christian traits of forgiveness come through in the last post…oops that’s from an atheist!

WWJD, it’s better than a religious acronym, it’s a good way to think. Jesus wasn’t a bad guy, he just needed to see a barber.

 

[Doc_Keele]

WWJD, it’s better than a religious acronym, it’s a good way to think. Jesus wasn’t a bad guy, he just needed to see a barber.

LOL:thumbsup:
You’re so right, at least about the first bit

I’m perturbed that the sort of people that think the current furore over sex abuse in the Church is an overreaction and/or witchhunt seem willing to sanction a witchhunt of someone who has paid his dues to society (and incidentally if he’s breaching the conditions of registration with his place of residence then he would be punished by the criminal justice system). This also shows you why “Megan’s Law” is a failure, because the registration rate in some of the states is as low as 67% I believe - precisely because this sort of thing happens. NIMBYism just shunts the problem to someone and somewhere else.

 

[flyingfish]

It’s fascinating to see how the Christian traits of forgiveness come through in the last post…oops that’s from an atheist!
guess some people don’t understand that Jesus sat with publicans, probably the sex offenders of their day?
if we treat registered sex offenders like lepers (and Jesus healed lepers), what kind of Christians are we? or are we Pharisees?

Sex offenders are dangerous, that’s the problem. If it’s a real sex offender like a rapist or especially a child rapist, then there is a high likelihood they will do it again.

 

[lynx]

Sex offenders are dangerous, that’s the problem. If it’s a real sex offender like a rapist or especially a child rapist, then there is a high likelihood they will do it again.

But what can you do if the man had paid his dues? He is entitled to his freedom as I am mine. He has to live somewhere? So why not as your neighbor? I would say that if you’re worried about it then you should move. He has every right to be there, so if you’re uncomfortable then leave.

 

[flyingfish]

But what can you do if the man had paid his dues? He is entitled to his freedom as I am mine. He has to live somewhere? So why not as your neighbor? I would say that if you’re worried about it then you should move. He has every right to be there, so if you’re uncomfortable then leave.

I don’t know if I’d say that anyone has a “right” to live in a particular place. He can try to live there, and the neighbors, if they don’t want him there, can try to have him evicted. As to who will prevail, that remains to be seen.

This would be a sad story if this guy is not a real sex offender but some guy who had sex with a 17 year old when he was 20 or something along those lines.

 

[lynx]

I don’t know if I’d say that anyone has a “right” to live in a particular place. He can try to live there, and the neighbors, if they don’t want him there, can try to have him evicted. As to who will prevail, that remains to be seen.

This would be a sad story if this guy is not a real sex offender but some guy who had sex with a 17 year old when he was 20 or something along those lines.

With the exception of court ordered restricted areas, non permitted domicile residences, and eminent domain, he can live where he likes. Where the court says he can be, e.g. 500ft from a school, should already be known.

 

[flyingfish]

With the exception of court ordered restricted areas, non permitted domicile residences, and eminent domain, he can live where he likes. Where the court says he can be, e.g. 500ft from a school, should already be known.

He can live where he likes, but the people he lives around, if they like, can try to have the landlord evict him.

 

[Doc_Keele]

Sex offenders are dangerous, that’s the problem. If it’s a real sex offender like a rapist or especially a child rapist, then there is a high likelihood they will do it again.

Yes, Jesus said that people should never be forgiven didn’t he?
You’re perpetuating the myth.