I live next door to a registered sex offender

[mmsiciliana]

This is a tough one. I think it’s important to forgive and move on, but thank God, I’ve never been the victim of such a crime. Never, ever preach forgiveness to the victims. They’ve earned to right to be angry.

For you, I think it might be best to remember the victims-(no matter how sorry he might be, he can’t take it back)-and perhaps stick your nose out of it. You don’t want to be evicted!

You call yourself a “prayer warrior” and a “forum supporter” and you have the nerve to say “Never preach forgiveness to the victims”? I guess you never pray the Lord’s Prayer, right? And, of course, you wouldn’t want to follow the example of Our Lord, would you?

Sexual abuse is a horrible thing to happen to someone. But since when did it become the “unforgivable sin”? Has everyone forgotten that we live in a culture that is saturated in sex, a culture that sexualizes young children, (remember JonBenet Ramsey) AND a culture that has legalized the murder of infants in their own mother’s womb? We can forgive those mothers, can’t we?

 

[didymus]

WHAT WAS HE CONVICTED OF!?! Has this been answered yet? That goes to the essence of the entire discussion.

And how long has he been out of prison? His offence was 14 yrs ago – so has he been free, working his program and presumably out of trouble, for one year or seven, or – what? If he has been out any significant length of time w/o reoffending I’d be a lot less worried.
If he’s fresh out of prison I’d be more concerned.

 

[vera_dicere]

Y
Sexual abuse is a horrible thing to happen to someone. But since when did it become the “unforgivable sin”? Has everyone forgotten that we live in a culture that is saturated in sex, a culture that sexualizes young children, (remember JonBenet Ramsey) AND a culture that has legalized the murder of infants in their own mother’s womb? We can forgive those mothers, can’t we?

Yeah, this I don’t understand. I mean, even women who kill their children from post partum depression get more forgiveness and concern than paedophiles, and paedophila is just a very nasty mental illness.

As for the OP, I agree with what has been said, depending what the crime is how you should respond.

However, forgiveness does not mean the sin did not happen in the physical, it just means Jesus/God will never remind you of it, so there’s no shame accompanied with those memories. But because child molestation is such a public sin, those who commit it, if they are truly sorry, must accept the social consquences of their actions, and if it follows them for the rest of their lives, then so be it.

My ultimate sympathy lies with the victims of these crimes, not with some paedophile who has to move house a few times. He can be forgiven, yes, but long and short of it, there must be a certain level of caution when dealing with him. Paedophilia, like any mental illness, can have unpredictable relapses.

 

[Doc_Keele]

You call yourself a “prayer warrior” and a “forum supporter” and you have the nerve to say “Never preach forgiveness to the victims”? I guess you never pray the Lord’s Prayer, right? And, of course, you wouldn’t want to follow the example of Our Lord, would you?

Sexual abuse is a horrible thing to happen to someone. But since when did it become the “unforgivable sin”? Has everyone forgotten that we live in a culture that is saturated in sex, a culture that sexualizes young children, (remember JonBenet Ramsey) AND a culture that has legalized the murder of infants in their own mother’s womb? We can forgive those mothers, can’t we?

Knowing Rascalking I believe (and I stand to be corrected) what was meant was that we shouldn’t be preaching to the victims that they must forgive - not that we shouldn’t forgive. Forgiveness is something that a victim of such abuse has to decide to give freely, and we shouldn’t think for a minute that it’s easy. We can only forgive some things with massive amounts of grace, it’s supernatural to forgive some things.

 

[H_Opey]

Being wary of someone who has committed a crime, maybe child molestation, does not mean that we are unforgiving. We have plenty of proof that some of these crimes are committed again and again - relapse happens.
To ask someone to move or to bring your concerns to the apartment complex owner is not being insensitive or unforgiving but using prudence, that others may be in harms way and you do not feel comfortable in that situation.

 

[PatriceA]

Forgiving by the victim does not mean that society forgets the crimes that were committed and does what is necessary to protect any, if any, future victims. A registered sex offender can not be employed in any job title that would put them in contact with children. In fact, I believe in most states if not all, a registered sex offender has to notify schools and day care centers within a legal vincity of their residence. At least in PA, they can not live in a certain area near any school or day care center. Its the law, not sure where the OP lives, but I would not want to be the OP if the registered sex offender has not done what is required by the state laws. That’s not about forgiveness at all. And I certainly wouldn’t vouche for someone just because they asked me to. I would only vouche for someone if I had a long term relationship with them and then only if I thought they would never recommit the crime. And that’s a big IF.

I can forgive someone that has a DUI, that doesn’t mean I’m going to offer them alcohol or put them in any occasion where they can partake alcohol.

 

[Nozzferrahhtoo]

I have a slightly different take on all this. I think to be honest that in my position I would not be bothered by a registered offended living near by.

The reason for this is that it would not alter how I act one iota!

Think about it for a moment, what would you do with your children differently? Do you normally leave them unguarded with strangers? No. Do you normally let them run around unsupervised in dangerous situations? No.

So what difference does a registered offended make? If I had a registered offended living in the house on the right, and another man living to the house on my left, I am no more likely to leave them unsupervised with either of them.

If you find yourself altering how you protect your children due to finding out one person in the neighbourhood might be dangerous, then I suggest to you that maybe there was something wrong with your initial protection procedures in the first place.

I sure do not sit here thinking “Oh great, no one is registered in my neighbourhood, so its perfectly ok that my little girl is going into Mr. Smiths house on her own every day and coming out 2 hours later with a biscuit”. Anyone here who is thinking that way, your children have my sympathy.

In fact our children are at more risk by the people who have not been caught and registered than from those who have. Although there are those that reoffend of course, I would imagine the majority live in mortal fear of anything happening in the neighbourhood given that they will be the first suspect on the list, let alone perpetrate that act themselves.

 

[kage_ar]

If we all knew the sins of everyone on our street, we’d want to move to a desert island.

 

[Doc_Keele]

If we all knew the sins of everyone on our street, we’d want to move to a desert island.

Amen to that!

 

[Doc_Keele]

I have a slightly different take on all this. I think to be honest that in my position I would not be bothered by a registered offended living near by.

The reason for this is that it would not alter how I act one iota!

Think about it for a moment, what would you do with your children differently? Do you normally leave them unguarded with strangers? No. Do you normally let them run around unsupervised in dangerous situations? No.

So what difference does a registered offended make? If I had a registered offended living in the house on the right, and another man living to the house on my left, I am no more likely to leave them unsupervised with either of them.

If you find yourself altering how you protect your children due to finding out one person in the neighbourhood might be dangerous, then I suggest to you that maybe there was something wrong with your initial protection procedures in the first place.

I sure do not sit here thinking “Oh great, no one is registered in my neighbourhood, so its perfectly ok that my little girl is going into Mr. Smiths house on her own every day and coming out 2 hours later with a biscuit”. Anyone here who is thinking that way, your children have my sympathy.

In fact our children are at more risk by the people who have not been caught and registered than from those who have. Although there are those that reoffend of course, I would imagine the majority live in mortal fear of anything happening in the neighbourhood given that they will be the first suspect on the list, let alone perpetrate that act themselves.

A thoroughly sensible and informed post:thumbsup: