I need advice to stop masturbating

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I have struggled with masturbation for most of my teenage years. I only learned of its sinful nature 2 years ago, and have been attempting to end the addiction ever since then. I have had little success in that venture, which is why I’ve been trying new methods

I have begun praying to St. Jude for help in my desperate struggle, along with a Hail Mary and an Our Father every night asking for help from God to persevere in my struggles. I have also begun using physical methods such as rewarding myself for success or occupying myself in my less-active moments. I have gotten to where masturbation is only an issue in my idle moments.

That being said, I can’t seem to purge the addiction from those moments. I was wondering if any of you had advice for what to do in those moments where temptation is strongest. I am praying for God to give me the grace to persevere, but I also know that having something I could do to fight the urge would help immensely. If any of you could answer with some tips, that would be wonderful.

Thank you, and may God bless you in your struggles.
 
JamesDeWitt said:
I have struggled with masturbation for most of my teenage years. I only learned of its sinful nature 2 years ago, and have been attempting to end the addiction ever since then. I have had little success in that venture, which is why I’ve been trying new methods

I have begun praying to St. Jude for help in my desperate struggle, along with a Hail Mary and an Our Father every night asking for help from God to persevere in my struggles. I have also begun using physical methods such as rewarding myself for success or occupying myself in my less-active moments. I have gotten to where masturbation is only an issue in my idle moments.

That being said, I can’t seem to purge the addiction from those moments. I was wondering if any of you had advice for what to do in those moments where temptation is strongest. I am praying for God to give me the grace to persevere, but I also know that having something I could do to fight the urge would help immensely. If any of you could answer with some tips, that would be wonderful.

Thank you, and may God bless you in your struggles.
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How much of your time is idle time?

I think you’re on to something that temptations are easier to fight/almost non-existent when you’re not idle. Even if you’re busier than you used to be before you began trying to resist, it’s possible that you still have much more idle time than you need, which keeps the amount of time you’re fighting the temptations high.

You should be very physically busy so you are going to bed tired. You should not spend a lot of time alone. Even if not actively socializing, spend time out in public. In addition to prayer, are you practicing the corporal works of mercy? How are you giving your time, talent, and treasure to your parish? Are you working or studying?

I have not struggled with your particular sin, but I have had other habitual sins and the best thing for me to do, after doing the above but when still faced with temptation, is to tell my own mind, “This is an urge I have because it’s a habit. I don’t need to give in to be happy. I will do [x, y, z neutral or good action].” Then I go do that thing, and within 20 minutes or so typically the temptation fades. At first, the temptations go up in frequency and severity when I try to resist because my brain is primed for it and thinks I need it. But if I continually ignore the urges, they diminish in frequency and eventually disappear entirely - because it’s true. I don’t need them.

Since what you’re dealing with is a private sin, maybe your alternative could be something like going outside for a walk to pray the rosary. Other tried and true are cold showers or a physical workout that demands your attention.
 
JamesDeWitt said:
I have struggled with masturbation for most of my teenage years. I only learned of its sinful nature 2 years ago, and have been attempting to end the addiction ever since then. I have had little success in that venture, which is why I’ve been trying new methods

I have begun praying to St. Jude for help in my desperate struggle, along with a Hail Mary and an Our Father every night asking for help from God to persevere in my struggles. I have also begun using physical methods such as rewarding myself for success or occupying myself in my less-active moments. I have gotten to where masturbation is only an issue in my idle moments.

That being said, I can’t seem to purge the addiction from those moments. I was wondering if any of you had advice for what to do in those moments where temptation is strongest. I am praying for God to give me the grace to persevere, but I also know that having something I could do to fight the urge would help immensely. If any of you could answer with some tips, that would be wonderful.

Thank you, and may God bless you in your struggles.
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Here’s what worked for me & can work for you, depending on what you’re willing to sacrifice for the honor & love of our good God. (forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=13805938#post13805938). I will pray for you.
 
The more you dwell on it, the more it will be a problem.

Don’t worry about it. Concentrate your energies on helping/being charitable to others.
 
Just don’t do it.

No one forces your actions except yourself.
 
The root of the problem is what you expose your eyes and thoughts to. Limit what your eyes see, Internet, TV, magazines, etc. and control your thinking and you will persevere. BUT not on your own. You will need the help of the Holy Spirit and lots of prayers. When was your last confession? I recommend you go right away, repent, and ask for healing and forgiveness!
 
This advice is more practical than spiritual. One of the best way to avoid sin is avoid the near occasion of sin. Assuming you are referring to the manual stimulation of your genitals, I suggest, as far as it is practical, you immediately stop all hand-genital contact, even non-sinful contact, and establish a hands-free zone on your body from your navel down to your knees. If you usually stand to urinate, I suggest from now on you sit on a toilet when you urinate. When you shower, I suggest you wash your hands-free zone quickly and circumspectly, using your less dominate hand. I suggest you do all these things for at least a few years to allow time for your body to lose its muscle memory.
 
Very difficult if you are a young guy.

There are herbs that can suppress libido. Worth a try. I would consult a doctor first to get the ok.

Besides that, seems you are doing all you can
 
If I could also make a recommendation, I highly suggest looking into the Angelic Warfare Confraternity for struggles with purity. Having St. Thomas Aquinas as your patron for purity certainly isn’t shabby. 😉 But in all seriousness, the prayers and his intercession certainly help me a lot with struggles of purity. Have a look at them, and try at least praying the prayers! The prayer written by St. Thomas Aquinas particularly moves me.

“Dear Jesus, I know that every perfect gift, and especially that of chastity depends on the power of Your providence, and without You a mere creature can do nothing. Therefore, I beg you to defend by Your grace the chastity and purity of my body and soul. And if ever I have imagined or sensed anything that could stain my chastity or purity, blot it out, Supreme Lord of my powers, that I may advance with a pure heart in Your love and service; offering myself on the most pure altar of Your divinity, all the days of my life. Amen.”

opwest.org/awc/
 
Here is another prayer you could say:

Prayer for purity:

Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Blessed Virgin Mary,to you three I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God the Father for me. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity. Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Please protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christ-like purity. And when the “Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me” in my heart at Holy Communion, please seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures. Sweetest Sacred Heart of Jesus, Fount of all Purity, have mercy on us. Amen.
 
Maybe think of something that repulses you when you feel tempted to do it (after asking for help from St Mary)? Do you dislike certain vegetables? Liver? Is there something else that turns your stomach?
 
Have you been to confession?

I speak from experience here. I had the same issue when I was a teen. Struggled with it all though college. Kicked it for a little while, but then back at it again on and off even after getting married. Kids and stress from marriage (and then the internet) came and I was addicted worse than ever. My wife finally caught me, but even after that would still do it on and off again…

The only way that I was ever able to kick it was to finally get a few weeks without and then as soon as I had a slip up, went straight to confession. I found a church downtown that had confession every day, 3 times a day. I began to dread that drive downtown and the 20 minutes reflecting on my slip up. Also dreaded telling the priest it has been 2 days since my last confession…and I was back again. Soon it was weeks…then months without. I think I’m well over a year now. I’ve been tempted, but that helped me.

Prayers for you.
 
Todd977 said:
This advice is more practical than spiritual. One of the best way to avoid sin is avoid the near occasion of sin. Assuming you are referring to the manual stimulation of your genitals, I suggest, as far as it is practical, you immediately stop all hand-genital contact, even non-sinful contact, and establish a hands-free zone on your body from your navel down to your knees. If you usually stand to urinate, I suggest from now on you sit on a toilet when you urinate. When you shower, I suggest you wash your hands-free zone quickly and circumspectly, using your less dominate hand. I suggest you do all these things for at least a few years to allow time for your body to lose its muscle memory.
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Every once in a while I read something on CAF that is so absurd I have to go back two or three times just to make sure I read it correctly. If there was an award for Nutty Post of the Day, Todd would be the clear winner.
 
Are you going to confession regularly?

Having been in a similar situation (long time habit, only recently realized sinful nature), the only thing that helped me was prayer and frequent confession. Took me 1.5-2 years to feel as if I had fully shaken it, and even then it still comes back to tempt me on occasion.

Confession is healing.
 
Something im struggling with myself first are you using pornagraphy to masturbate? If so put a filter. Get closer to god like scripture says draw close to god and the devil will flee, go to holy hour for adoration pray the rosary daily or as much as you can develop a strong prayer life to renew your mind
 
Try imagining something pleasureful that isn’t sinful, like canoeing in Montana or British Columbia or whatever. It redirects your passions.
 
Nothing can be overcome without grace. And the biggest grace needed here is sincere and deeper conversion. Because the only reason we say yes to porn is because we’re perfectly OK with saying no to God. And that’s because we don’t love Him enough.

We can rationalize this with words like addiction. But let’s face it: a little bit of sexual urge never causes us to writhe in pain on the floor like we’re in some sort of alcohol withdrawal. We’re just UNCOMFORTABLE and want to look at something we really like looking at.

But until we stop rationalizing and admit the real problem, this won’t go away. Heck, most of the reason God permits it to remain is because we’re just not growing in our love for Him WITHOUT these temptations being present.

Take it day by day. Don’t worry about how many days it’s been, don’t worry about how many more it needs to be. One day. And at the beginning of the day, ask Jesus to help you. In your own words, from your heart. And then trust in Him should you be tempted. And don’t worry about refusing the temptation, worry about saying yes to Him.

Without Him, we can do nothing. We need to learn that for real. With Him we can do anything, because there’s nothing He can’t do. But if we don’t trust Him and if we don’t love Him, we’ll only tell Him no.
 
Well for one thing, you are not alone. There are thousands of good, faithful catholics that struggle with this. I myself struggle with this particular sin, and I have found some helpful things. 1.The more you worry about it the harder it is. I have found that the more I think to myself, “you will never do this again” or “What if I do it later?” I tend to commit the sin. 2.Often times, Pornography is what triggers masturbation. You do not have to answer this here, but do you find yourself looking at porn when committing the sin? if so, get rid of all triggers. Magazines, books, apps, and especially certain websites, even Youtube. 3.The more you spend doing other stuff, it is way easier to not think about it. 4. Make sure you are tired at the end of the day. Spend your day doing phsyical activities that make you tired and ready to fall asleep right away. 5. and finally pray. This is the most powerful weapon you have, especially the Hail Mary. I will keep you in my prayers and God bless! 👍
 
My solution was/is:
(1) No more pornography;
(2) Prayer/sacraments;
(3) Distraction.

It was not that hard to stop… once I realized you don’t masturbate all day. What’s 5 minutes in a 24 hour day? Nothing really. Most of the time I was doing any other thing, especially in my free time. So I really wasn’t that big a deal.

Stop biting my nails, now that’s hard!

P.S. Another thing that helps when I feel tempted is the feeling of liberation and triumph.
 
JamesDeWitt said:
I have struggled with masturbation for most of my teenage years. I only learned of its sinful nature 2 years ago, and have been attempting to end the addiction ever since then. I have had little success in that venture, which is why I’ve been trying new methods.
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Here’s a new method to try.

Try to understand that the concept “masterbation is sin” is a huge pile of complete utter hogwash nonsense. Jesus never mentioned the subject once, it has nothing to do with Christianity. Nothing. At all.

The concept was invented by celibate male clerics whose minds became obsessed with sex due to their lack of such experience, a normal biological reaction. Imagine that someone convinced you that peeing was sin and so you never did that. How long would it be before you became obsessed about going to the bathroom?

I realize this method is probably not what you’re looking for, and that’s ok with me. It’s your life, and your body, and if you wish to torture yourself needlessly that’s up to you. Just know that such a decision, which you have every right to, has nothing to with Christianity, nothing to do with Jesus, nothing to do with love, nothing to do with God.
 
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