I need advice

[rinnie]

I think as far as the first part, im sure you are unconfortable, I would be too, You could discuss this with your boss, or deal with it i guess. Now the second part I would ask myself why is it this friend i need to hold on too. I think if you are true with yourself you kind of either like making your husband a little jealous. Or there really are feelings there that you arent ready to deal with, or are and now is the time. But its too late. This relationship is over and you need to move on. Your choice is made and now you have to live with it, I know if my husband couldnt let go of his ex regardless of what happened Id tell him to fix it now, me or her, Case Closed. No second fiddle for me. you can sugar coat this all you want but its wrong. And if you dont stop it now it will destroy what you have sooner or later. But hey just my point of view.

 

[kage_ar]

On the first point - speak to HR about those calendars. They not appropriate in any way, shape or form.

Second, just tone back the conversations. Set a timer - if you are used to talking for 20 minutes, chat for 5 and say “gotta run”. Keep conversatins short. If the friend has some deep need or urgent thing to talk about, maybe suggest he talk to your husband “to get a man’s pov on this”. Bring your husband INTO the friendship.

Third, while it may look like it on the surface, there really ARE some people in your parish who you would mesh with. Friendship is ageless, if you limit yourself “I will only have friends who are within a 3 year age range from me, who have exactly the same number of kids and exactly the same haircolor” - life is not like that. Find one thing to get involved with at your Parish. Those teens… they NEED excited young adults to volunteer, to be mentors. Those old 40 somethings, you may just find some people who will be lifelong friends.

Even the (gasp) elderly, they have lots of experience in this thing called life. How do you know that some of them did not spend years in Japan and could talke about the culture to you forever?

Call the youth minister and ask if you can volunteer. Take a baby step.