This morning my girlfriend Texted me and told me that her twin sister had passed out in front of her bed in the middle of the night after saying she didn’t feel good and that her head felt numb and her left eye was blurry. They live with their grandparents and when my gf went to tell them about it their grandma (they call her mom) bassically ignored them and locked them out of her side of the duplex. My gf called the ambulance and they took them to the hospital. The doctors wernt sure why she fainted and sent her home because she didn’t have insurance and she doesn’t have any money to pay for treatment or testing. When they got back my gf exploded at their mom for not caring( this isn’t the first time she has acted like this and she blames her action on her own illness) and how her sister could have been dying and how she was never there for them. Her mom turned it all back on her and made her feel terrible and even said that they are adults and need to take care of themselves. She isn’t willing to help out in any way, she is even making my gf’s sister pay for the ambulance bill. Their mom is bassically rich and sent their entire extended family to Disneyland for five days but is unwilling to help out when her own daughters are sick and could have a potentially life threttening illness. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help them. Her mom obviously doesn’t care about them. I just need some advice and A lOT of prayers.
Well, once someone is an adult, able to work and stand on one’s own two feet, he/she is usually expected to begin to have his/her own life, rich relatives or not. Rich relatives are not necessarily required to support everyone.
Is the sister working or studying? If she is a minor, the mother needs to help, but once she is of age, barring some other situation…disability or something, normally it is ideal for the daughters to begin in something…work…school…something, begin to live their own lives, not remain 100% dependent on others for money.
The thread said the sister was penniless. Why is she penniless? When I lived at home, even though I had severe arthritis, I studied. During vacations and some weekends, holidays, I worked and helped out the house to try to earn my keep, save money for books and my studies.
I think the mother wanted to encourage the daughters to begin to be responsible, and since the lesson hasn’t been learned, it’s come to a “tough love” approach, forcing them, not enabling irresponsible behavior.
However, if a mother wants to take an extended family to Disneyland for 5 days, she can, because it’s her money. She is under no obligation to take everyone. If she wants to be generous with her money, that’s her perogative. Perhaps she got along well with the extended family. It doesn’t matter.
Sounds like the twins are acting a bit immature, wanting others to support them through life, but that’s probably not good.
It can sound a little like the daughters feel a sense of entitlement to the mother’s money, without having contributed or earned it. If they are minors, that’s one thing, but if they are of age, the mother might be trying to get them to learn a sense or responsibility, because she will not always be around to bail them out everytime they have a problem.
I have a disability, and even so, I try to depend on my family as little as possible. Perhaps they even have the funds to help me, but that doesn’t matter. Still, I try to be as independent as possible.
I think if, one day, I just absolutely can’t fend for myself, then I might need to ask for help, but I definitely try not to make a habit of it, wear out my welcome.
