I would urge you to take a deep breath and dig for the truth. If she is having an affair, emotional or otherwise, you need to know what you are dealing with. Deep down you know what the truth is. I would never advocate running to a divorce attorney for something as common as infidelity. With proper counseling, you can keep your marriage in tact.
If the relationship were innocent she would not be hiding it. A married person should not be that friendly with someone of the opposite sex. She should not be putting herself in a position where something could potentially happen.
In my case, I believed what I wanted to believe and ignored the overwhelming evidence. I saw a cell phone bill, questioned the hundreds of texts and calls to a phone number in Hungary. It was just a friend. In my heart I knew it was more. Eventually I got up the courage to ask the toughest question of my life, “are you having and affair.” The man that I’d been with for 24 years, a West Point graduate and highly respected Officer, the man I trusted more than words can describe, looked me in the eyes and said “no.”
We had what I thought was a good marriage. He always told me he loved me, we spent quality time together, had no issues in the bedroom, always got along well etc. People in good marriages don’t step out. He insisted we go to counseling because he thought he might be going through some mid-life issues. This left me feeling even more confused as we could not p(name removed by moderator)oint any serious issues. In reality, his infidelity and the guilt it left on him was the issue. My bending over backwards to be the perfect wife made his guilt even more intense.
Six weeks after asking the tough question, my husband walked away from the marriage and our three kids. The guilt was overwhelming and instead of facing the music, he ran. He moved out of the family home the next day, filed for divorce, and was remarried to the other woman before the ink was dry on the divorce decree. Even throughout the divorce process he denied having anything other than a friend. I saw a credit card statement with a $7K jewelry purchase, yet I still believed him.
I’m not one dwell on the past but I would never wish what happened to me on anyone. It was a painful and heartbreaking ending to a life I cherished. I have accepted it and have faith that although I am not on the path I expected to be on, God has sent me this direction for a reason.
You know the truth. Don’t sweep it under the rug, it won’t go away unless you face it head on. Don’t let it escalate to the point where she walks. If you are both committed to the marriage, it can be worked out.
