I need help! Wife issues

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We picked up our grandson from daycare yesterday and took a walk to the park. Played on the swings and slide with him. So much fun. Very relaxing. We enjoyed each other’s company. Really a good day. Went to coffee again this morning before leaving for work. Definite progress.
 
hurthusband said:
We picked up our grandson from daycare yesterday and took a walk to the park. Played on the swings and slide with him. So much fun. Very relaxing. We enjoyed each other’s company. Really a good day. Went to coffee again this morning before leaving for work. Definite progress.
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That sounds good! 👍 Just don’t push too hard, but continue to do these kinds of things together. May God bless you and guide you.
 
Yeah, no pressure whatsoever. All her idea. She goes to therapy today. Last time I went and sat out in the waiting room. She told me I didn’t need to go this time, and eventhough I’d like to go just to be supportive, I’m just going to go home and go for a walk. She knows I’ll be there in spirit to support her. We’re going in the right direction.
 
hurthusband said:
Yeah, no pressure whatsoever. All her idea. She goes to therapy today. Last time I went and sat out in the waiting room. She told me I didn’t need to go this time, and eventhough I’d like to go just to be supportive, I’m just going to go home and go for a walk. She knows I’ll be there in spirit to support her. We’re going in the right direction.
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Or you could find an open church and go sit there for a while and just be.

Yes, I do think you two have turned a corner!
 
You might not believe this, but I pray as I walk. Someone asked me why I walk with hands out, and I admitted that I was praying. They said that was a great idea. The Saint Rita novena seems to working for me. I’m going to keep it going for the whole nine days.
 
hurthusband said:
You might not believe this, but I pray as I walk. Someone asked me why I walk with hands out, and I admitted that I was praying. They said that was a great idea. The Saint Rita novena seems to working for me. I’m going to keep it going for the whole nine days.
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This is wonderful!
 
hurthusband said:
What a weekend. Went on a roadtrip Thursday after work. Just had to get away to clear my head. Spent Thursday night reading and praying about everything. Somebody said in another post to dial it way back. You’re right. Without realizing it, I’m smothering her. I don’t mean to, but its happening. Anyway, now I’ve seen the guy and I’ve seen where he lives, and I realize its not about good lokks or wealth, cuz he doesn’t have either. He’s not attractive, he’s over weight and lives in a dump. It was/is an emotional connection. She has not had any contact for almost a month. I believe that for sure. I got her to answer a lot of questions ovr the weekend, and although some of the answers hurt, I’m resolute in my efforts to get through this. She did admit, however, that if the shoe was on the other foot, I’d be kicked out of the house, and she’s lucky that I am who I am.
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I’m so happy you’re feeling more confidence and strength. I agree with your assessment, it’s the “thrill” of the emotional charge that they must feel initially (…my wife is the only emotional charge I’ve ever wanted.). Like you I try to understand what’s going on in my wife’s head, but I know I can’t think that way. Plus I know that I’m moving into the sin of Pride trying to “fix” everything and not trusting the Lord to fix it. I know He is working and showing me what I need to do to make me a better husband and father. He has another plan for my wife and I need to let him take care of that! 👍

I try to keep myself focused and identify with Christ carrying His cross…I have to have patience to carry mine and sacrifice for my wife and family. To be honest (and it took me a while to get here!) in prayer I thank the Lord for giving me the larger cross because I know my wife wouldn’t be able to carry it at this time. I also believe with all my heart that someday we will be equally yoked and our marriage with blossom once again. But until that time, I have to show her (and our children) how to be the spiritual leader of the family.

Continuing to pray for you and your wife brother. I am so happy for the both of you that there is progress!
 
hurthusband said:
What a weekend. Went on a roadtrip Thursday after work. Just had to get away to clear my head. Spent Thursday night reading and praying about everything. Somebody said in another post to dial it way back. You’re right. Without realizing it, I’m smothering her. I don’t mean to, but its happening. Anyway, now I’ve seen the guy and I’ve seen where he lives, and I realize its not about good lokks or wealth, cuz he doesn’t have either. He’s not attractive, he’s over weight and lives in a dump. It was/is an emotional connection. She has not had any contact for almost a month. I believe that for sure. I got her to answer a lot of questions ovr the weekend, and although some of the answers hurt, I’m resolute in my efforts to get through this. She did admit, however, that if the shoe was on the other foot, I’d be kicked out of the house, and she’s lucky that I am who I am.
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Edmundus1581 said:
My ex-wife was the controlling one in our marriage, and I was always loyal and loving, and provided well for her and the children. I was no “doormat”, but she was just a more ruthless fighter when we had conflicts. Her great “friendship” that ended our marriage was with someone completely different from me and from the people she and I had grown up with. He had no religious leanings, swore a lot, drank a lot with mates and went to strip shows, etc. This, to my wife, was all a wonderful new world which she decided was the real “fulfilment” she was lacking!

I recently read a book by a doctor who served on a military base in World War II. While there he saw many men receive the news that their wife, living hundreds of miles away, had left them. He commented “It was always the loyal and devoted husbands that this happened to”
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Sam, Apples and oranges. I’m in a really good place right now. Without sharing a bunch of information, things are going well. Maybe you’re trying to help, but you’re not. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted some things when I did. Sometimes the fingers just start typing, unfiltered. But I’m good right now.
 
hurthusband said:
Sam, Apples and oranges. I’m in a really good place right now. Without sharing a bunch of information, things are going well. Maybe you’re trying to help, but you’re not. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted some things when I did. Sometimes the fingers just start typing, unfiltered. But I’m good right now.
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So how did you think things were going before you discovered the 5000 text messages?
 
hurthusband said:
Sam, Apples and oranges. I’m in a really good place right now. Without sharing a bunch of information, things are going well. Maybe you’re trying to help, but you’re not. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted some things when I did. Sometimes the fingers just start typing, unfiltered. But I’m good right now.
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Happy to hear about this.

God blesses your family
 
hurthusband said:
Sam, go away.
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What Sam has written may seem a bit harsh, but I think that he’s just trying to be realistic. It’s likely going to take a lot of time for your wife to detach herself emotionally from that fellow. Even though it sounds like it was an emotional affair which did not include physical intimacy, it might still take a long time for her to get over it. But it sounds like you’re trying to do everything right. God bless you.
 
SamH said:
Protect your assets, secure your home and change the locks the next time she goes out.
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Hey Sam, you need to read everything before you post. You don’t seem to have read everything.
 
Emotional or physical is just splitting hairs. I can’t honestly say which would be harder to deal with. The fact that Hurt is willing to stand by his vows and his wife is willing to work with him is wonderful. People are all too willing to just jump on the divorce bandwagon these days. I’ve seen people get through affairs and come out on the other side with the strongest of marriages.
 
I pray for you and i pray that people support you. You are doing the right thing, don’t give up hope.

Blessings and love

p.s Consult with a priest so he cans strengthen you to have faith and believe that all will be well. It takes courage to forgive and wanted to save your marriage, you are a good man and i pray for your wife to fully see this. I keep you both in my prayer.
 
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