I need to know!! Do all men watch porn?

[fbl9]

By this I assume you are referring to a man’s ejaculate? (excuse me I cannot think of a politer way of putting that). If so, then surely you mean “thousands upon thousands of wasted seeds”? And the “who” is not the issue here. It is the “what”. The term “seed” I can agree with, but not the term of “who”. Most people believe that human life does not begin until the point of conception (namely when the “seed” joins the egg). Therefore the seed is more of a “what” than a “who”

To further elaborate, if we got into the same thinking that you originally outlined, then madly a great number of men would be murderers on a pretty large scale… However most people insightfully would not see it this way because the “seed” is not yet considered a life. This is quite akin to when a woman ovulates and in her monthly cycle loses her unfertilised eggs… Is she then by the same token of your logic killing (“wasting”) little people… or “who’s”?

I am quite frankly shocked. Does every Catholic fall under this same opinion???

By throwing the seed out the male prevents life from even having a chance. The female throws out (monthly cycle) that which is no longer viable, Therefore she is not preventing life. It is on this basis the comparison does not work out.

 

[BrickRoux]

I was once engaged to a man who hid from me a very dark secret life (don’t worry, I left - by the grace of our Father before a wedding!)

His computer was just full of pornography; his addiction to it was crippling. By this I mean he *could not *do without it; it had a hold on him stronger than ordinary free will. It muddled his heart, his mind - and of course, our emotional intimacy as an engaged couple.

One of the cruelest things he did was laugh at me and tell me that I was living in a dream-world if I thought that all men didn’t look at pornography, that all men didn’t ogle the female shape in public, didn’t indulge in daydreams of infidelity and lust. While our wedding was postponed, I went through every emotion possible. I thought of all of the wonderful men I know - my family members, my friends, community leaders, and I felt terrified that every one of them might wait until their wives are asleep and creep onto the computer to look at this stuff.

The truth is, some of them might. But all of them? No. In fact, now I’m dating someone who doesn’t look at porn. Can I be sure beyond the shadow of a doubt? No, but I trust him. Have all men looked at porn before - probably, as many posters have said. But the excuse that “all men do it” is something that men use to shut you up and to keep you quiet about what’s right.

We all sin. That’s not a valid excuse to sin as much as one pleases. You and your husband both know the fallacy of that excuse - almost everyone in proximity to Christianity knows that much. We all have biological impulses; this doesn’t mean that we weren’t created to conquer them.

Why isn’t porn right? Before I was Catholic, I couldn’t understand the logic. I thought Catholics were just uptight, sex-hating, and misogynistic. What a surprise to learn that the stance against pornography is rooted in logic! You see, as with so much else in Catholicism, we sin so gravely when we misuse the human person for our own pleasure and gratification. It is an attempt to steal from God, to look at the marvelous creation of another human being and say, “I’m going to use the thought or vision of his or her beauty to pleasure and gratify myself.” It doesn’t have to be tawdry; we can do it to people on the street, but pornography is pretty clear in its purpose.

When we reduce people to objects for our pleasure, we dehumanize them. We turn them, in our minds - pardon the strength of this statement, but I think it’s important - to dead meat. You may not “hurt” that person on the street you lust after, but you are crippling your own soul, and that offends God just as much. I promise, years ago I would have laughed at all of this and said, “Oh, attraction is natural!” To this day, I think that people who are very young and just learning to grapple with their sexualities should be spared being scared to death, and instead nudged gently into thinking about why lust is a sin. But a married adult who knows himself as a sexual being and can follow a train of logic should know better.

Anyway, I’m just throwing ideas out there as a flawed little human. But then there’s this: Jesus said that to lust after a woman was to have committed adultery with her in his heart - and really, how much more clear does it get than that?

 

[Fidelis_Unus]

By throwing the seed out the male prevents life from even having a chance. The female throws out (monthly cycle) that which is no longer viable, Therefore she is not preventing life. It is on this basis the comparison does not work out.

Ok, I’m going to pipe in here. The female doesn’t ‘throw out’ anything, there is no choice. God has designed her body to shed the unneeded nutrients, etc that were in preparation for life. Something we are called to be, prepared and open to life.

The wasting of seed is about our intention. When a man wastes his seed (or a women by using birth control) they are inserting their will before God’s will. This is the sin.

I came across a really terrific book that is available online; written by Richard Wetzel, it’s called Sexual Wisdom and can be downloaded easily here: sexualwisdom.com/16-17book.html or purchased for a couple bucks. NOT selling anything here, but I have to admit there wonderful information and scripture that explains the Catholic (and therefore True) nature of sexual love as God intended it. There is a terrific section specifically on pornography starting on page 58. Well worth reading if you are really looking for answers or information.

just my :twocents:

I really loved the analogy of rejecting the real money from your wife for counterfeit money from a stranger. Well said.

peace

 

[TedDC]

I’m single, never married, in my early 50s, and have never watched porn. I simply don’t find the concept of watching other people having sex appealing in any way - and especially when my desires are being exploited for profit.

As far as masturbation: I know that the Church defines it as a grave matter, but I’ve never seen a compelling argument - one that doesn’t depend on the Church’s interpretation of concepts like natural law - as to why it is objectively wrong for a single, unattached person.

 

[Timothy17]

facepalm

Go figure, the thread with porn as its subject is 7 pages long!

[SIGN]LOL![/SIGN]

Edit:Added: Porn seems harmless until you consider that the girl is someone’s daughter/sister or even mother; that is, a real human being. That, for me, is enough reason to abstain from it.

 

[Felix_Il_Gatto]

I have been married for 5 yrs, my husband and I got married outside the church and I am now returning to my faith. He is not catholic and has no intentions of ever becoming one, which is ok. He has watched porn since he was 13. We have had several conversations about this and how it makes me feel as a woman. He claims he has stopped the past 2-3 months because I threatened our marriage if it didn’t stop. He doesn’t understand though why I feel the way I do and claims that all men do it and its natural!! Is is true?? I am especially looking for male (name removed by moderator)ut here.

No. Pornography is disgusting. Why does he even feel the need to watch pornography if he is married? He may have some type of hypersexual disorder. Tell him to get into counseling if it continues.

 

[hellopeople]

No. Pornography is disgusting. Why does he even feel the need to watch pornography if he is married? He may have some type of hypersexual disorder. Tell him to get into counseling if it continues.

lol, are you serious? Someone watches porn and they have a hypersexual disorder? I guess most guys have a hypersexual disorder then…if you went into a psychiatrists office and told them that you watch porn every once in a while they would tell you its normal and not to worry about it.

 

[Felix_Il_Gatto]

lol, are you serious? Someone watches porn and they have a hypersexual disorder?

She said that it is negatively effecting their marriage. If that isn’t enough incentive for him to stop, then I don’t know what is. It was my impression that he is regularly watching it. This can be a symptom of a sexual disorder if it is negatively effecting his life.

I guess most guys have a hypersexual disorder then…if you went into a psychiatrists office and told them that you watch porn every once in a while they would tell you its normal and not to worry about it.

And if you went to a psychiatrist’s office and said that you drink occasionally they would tell you you were normal. However, if you told him that you were unable to stop drinking and it was negatively effecting your life, you would be told you have a disorder.
It becomes a disorder when it starts controlling your life. His pornography habit is clearly (at least partially) controlling his life and taking precedence over his consideration of his wife’s feelings and his very marriage.

 

[fbl9]

Ok, I’m going to pipe in here. The female doesn’t ‘throw out’ anything, there is no choice. God has designed her body to shed the unneeded nutrients, etc that were in preparation for life. Something we are called to be, prepared and open to life.

knew that already,the words were used in the context of the example given.

The wasting of seed is about our intention. When a man wastes his seed (or a women by using birth control) they are inserting their will before God’s will. This is the sin.

That’s what isaid.

I came across a really terrific book that is available online; written by Richard Wetzel, it’s called Sexual Wisdom and can be downloaded easily here: sexualwisdom.com/16-17book.html or purchased for a couple bucks. NOT selling anything here, but I have to admit there wonderful information and scripture that explains the Catholic (and therefore True) nature of sexual love as God intended it. There is a terrific section specifically on pornography starting on page 58. Well worth reading if you are really looking for answers or information.

i’ll have to remeber to look for it next time i am in the city.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Ok, I’m going to pipe in here. The female doesn’t ‘throw out’ anything, there is no choice. God has designed her body to shed the unneeded nutrients, etc that were in preparation for life. Something we are called to be, prepared and open to life.

The wasting of seed is about our intention. When a man wastes his seed (or a women by using birth control) they are inserting their will before God’s will. This is the sin.

I came across a really terrific book that is available online; written by Richard Wetzel, it’s called Sexual Wisdom and can be downloaded easily here: sexualwisdom.com/16-17book.html or purchased for a couple bucks. NOT selling anything here, but I have to admit there wonderful information and scripture that explains the Catholic (and therefore True) nature of sexual love as God intended it. There is a terrific section specifically on pornography starting on page 58. Well worth reading if you are really looking for answers or information.

just my :twocents:

I really loved the analogy of rejecting the real money from your wife for counterfeit money from a stranger. Well said.

peace

I am going to have to check out the link that you provided. And thanks for “props” on the money analogy. It just makes a lot of sense, why buy into the counterfiet when God has given us the real thing?

 

[OraLabora]

lol, are you serious? Someone watches porn and they have a hypersexual disorder? I guess most guys have a hypersexual disorder then…if you went into a psychiatrists office and told them that you watch porn every once in a while they would tell you its normal and not to worry about it.

No, it is not “normal” and nor is it a victimless act. It is an act that fuels a multi-billion dollar industry that has anything but the best interest of the porn actors at heart, and is often controlled by criminal elements of society. It destroys the dignity of the actors, it destroys the dignity of the person watching it, and it destroys the dignity of the spouse of the porn consumer. It dehumanizes sex reducing it to a series of perverted and often misogynistic acts.

Ask yourself this: if you had to give career advice to your children, would you advise them to become porn actors?

I rather think not. At least I hope not.

 

[Roguetrp]

Well, I am a male and let me tell you, up and till November last year I looked at port every day for a very long time. I am very ashamed of it now and can understand why it is wrong. All those pictures and videos you see burn into your mind. It is not easy to get rid of it though and sometimes you have like a flash of a picture and it makes me feel so bad. I am now in the process of trying to fill my mind with pictures of holy things. Like Jesus, Mary and the stations of the cross and the more I look at these pictures the better it gets.

Alot of men look at porn and it is not to the best interest of your family life. It leaves deep scars that take a long time to go away, aspecially when you have finally figured out that it is wrong. And it is wrong. The thing that helped me is to remember Mary and whenever I look at a woman to think of her in that exact same respectful manner. Nowadays I look at my wife in a differant way, more respectful than ever.

Thank you God for opeing my eyes and giving us the rosary to help us trough the difficult times, to remember that being a child of God and to follow Jesus is not easy, but a constant struggle to keep on the narrow. Help me to be repectful and clean my mind of these things that make me so sad. Amen

Good luck