I used to feel this way, well not “happy if he has a pulse”, but I felt unworthy. I was wrong, of course. We are all worthy. As long as one thinks they aren’t ‘enough’ to attract a good man, they never will. If you are looking at your value as physical beauty, than you are searching for men with a value system not in line with God’s.
Wow that was a different life that was! A sad, lonely time. I finally got frustrated with the whole dating thing, everyone wondering if we’d slept together after the first date, or why I wouldn’t. Liike celibacy is from the dark ages or something!
After years of crying to God about why I’m alone, please send me a husband, etc. I told Him, "look, I quit 'cause when I pick men it always goes badly (my first husband was addicted to porn). So, God, you not only have to pick him for me, but you’ll have to put him in front of me and hit me over the head! I took a 6 month break from dating that ended up being two years and very content and fulfilling ones at that. My time was spent facilitating scripture study, volunteering, sponsoring, Patricians, etc. During that time, I changed. I gradually became a woman who was valued and treasured by me, had so much more to offer a spouse and walked more closely with God. God’s joy brings inner beauty that good men respond to. I look back at photos of me, and realized something; first, I wasn’t as unattractive as I’d thought and second, I was far more beautiful during my journey of faith than I had ever been before. My experience is this, if I take good care of me, do what God wills, and let God take care of the rest… miracles and wonders happen.
Eating cheesecake is not a sin (good thing 'cause my husband and I love little wine and cheesecakes dates), watching porn is a serious sin, there’s simply no comparison. I hope that you are able to find true love and respect and joy, through God’s plans for you.
In terms of porn, my first husband was a porn addict, drank and smoked pot. I had to work with social services for years to protect my child from being alone with her father. Of all the addictions, pornography addiction is increasing at must fast rate than any other addiction. It is also a gateway addiction, leading to sex addictions. Not all become addicts. Many can drink, for example, but some become alcoholic. The difference is that drinking doesn’t debase the human beings involved, porn does. My question would be this, “Is this what I want in a father for my daughter or son?”.
JMHO I hope that you can see the inner beauty that you have and understand that you are worthy and precious and beautiful, as God made you. I pray that you find a man who treats as such.
Peace.
Just my two cents!
He thought I was a little bit forward, I think. I say we ‘accidentally’ started dating. lol! Even after realizing there were feelings there we each gave it a little thought and asked ourselves, “Is this what I really want?”. We even broke up for a while, because he needed some space.
