I need to know!! Do all men watch porn?

[Rascalking]

That’s like a guy rejecting me because I like cheesecake and Elliott Yamin.

I’m sorry Countrysinger.I rescind my offer of engagement to you. I just can’t deal with Elliott Yamin, and your love of cheesecake is beyond redemption.

 

[CountrySinger]

I’m sorry Countrysinger.I rescind my offer of engagement to you. I just can’t deal with Elliott Yamin, and your love of cheesecake is beyond redemption.

does best Elliott fan impersonation, this is so not me HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE ELLIOTT YAMIN! He is a rainbow! Man, I need a boyfriend ASAP.

Dang it! How about pie? And George Strait?

 

[stringbeanduck]

I’m not shocked by it, I just think it is a bit of a pipe dream for me. I will probably win the lottery, get struck by lightening, become an international superstar, and then become the next pope before I would be able to find a guy who doesn’t like porn who is also willing to spend his life with me (ie, impossible). But I would look fetching in the pope hat.

And being single for the rest of my life isn’t an option. Really trust me, it isn’t an option. I was in a convent, and I was so desiring the physical aspect of marriage, I would get stress migraines and start twitching, and not be able to sleep. I would be a VERY good wife.

So I do have to settle somewhere, no man is perfect. I’m not going to turn down a man just because he likes porn. That’s like a guy rejecting me because I like cheescake and Elliott Yamin.

Sounds like you aren’t looking for a husband, but a shack up buddy through ‘marriage’ so you are not alone. Just don’t be suprised if he ends up cheating on you and then running off with another woman. Not trying to be rude at all, but I’m serious. You look for a guy who get’s off on other women’s bodies, and that’s what you get. A real marriage involves both husband and wife being fully commited together, both physically and spiritually. All men do not enjoy let alone look at it. Don’t know why you think there isn’t a man who is willing to save himself for his wife, but there is. I sure heck am going to save myself for a wife. And please don’t compare porn addiction to cheesecake. Big difference in a man putting another woman’s body ahead of you, and eating food.

 

[Shannon9791]

Have I watched porn? Yes, and I think a lot of people have. Doesn’t make it right, but I think that’s just the way our society is now. The easy accesibility to it, and the open-ness about it seem to make it an OK thing. There used to be a stigma about it, but now it’s just an everyday thing that you can see characters on many TV shows openly discuss.

Do I watch porn now? No, b/c I’ve always felt kinda embarrassed by it. Might be because I was always in a room full of dudes and it just doesn’t seem right to be turned on in a room full of dudes. I don’t understand the phenomenon of watching porn in groups of people, but go to any college dorm and you’ll find a group of guys all watching together. My wife thought I was crazy when we were dating and I told her I didn’t watch or like porn because all she was used to was guys who were into it.

So to answer the OP, no, not all guys watch porn.

 

[CountrySinger]

Sounds like you aren’t looking for a husband, but a shack up buddy through ‘marriage’ so you are not alone. Just don’t be suprised if he ends up cheating on you and then running off with another woman. Not trying to be rude at all, but I’m serious. You look for a guy who get’s off on other women’s bodies, and that’s what you get. A real marriage involves both husband and wife being fully commited together, both physically and spiritually. All men do not enjoy let alone look at it. Don’t know why you think there isn’t a man who is willing to save himself for his wife, but there is. I sure heck am going to save myself for a wife. And please don’t compare porn addiction to cheesecake. Big difference in a man putting another woman’s body ahead of you, and eating food.

I wish I could find a decent guy, but I have to take what I can get. I’m not the prettiest, so I have to take any guy who will have me. I’ll be happy if he has a pulse. If I were more valuable in the dating world, I could have higher standards. I’m not in the place to reject anyone.

 

[Shannon9791]

I wouldn’t be thrilled if my husband/boyfriend watched porn, but I could understand it. I mean, could a guy stand to be married to me for life, and not have any other woman ever? I’m not worthy to be adored at all.
And in the case I’m not feeling in the mood (HA! High libido is a curse when you are single), I would rather have my husband have an outlet instead of just being sexually frustrated.
And I have read Theology of the Body, btw.

Ummm, I think your priorities are a little messed up here. Why would you want to be married to a guy who couldn’t stand to be married to you for life? I am going to be married to my wife for the rest of my life and not be with any other women. I think you might need to re-evaluate what you think of yourself. You are a child of God and for that you should be honored by your husband FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

PS-If I were single, your cheesecake fetish would throw me off too. I’m just not a huge fan of it.

 

[whatevergirl]

I wish I could find a decent guy, but I have to take what I can get. I’m not the prettiest, so I have to take any guy who will have me. I’ll be happy if he has a pulse. If I were more valuable in the dating world, I could have higher standards. I’m not in the place to reject anyone.

No, you don’t have to ‘‘take’’ any guy that will have you. As long as you keep thinking this, you’ll attract the wrong types of men. Raise the bar high. We’ve been through this in other threads CS…You are a beautiful child of God, and if you date men who don’t think this, you should end the relationship. :hug1:

 

[whatevergirl]

As guy and only speaking for personal experience, I Do sometime watch porn but I never do when I’m involved with a romatic intrest. Men in gereral want a woman to be three things 1)they want a woman bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen 2) they want a virgin in public and 3) they want a whore in the bedroom. That is just the way guys think whether they admit it or not. That is not to say they do not love they do they just want a woman to behave a certain way, to one degree or another.

*Jesus would not think of women in these terms. The good news is that as Catholics, we have a Savior and Leader who represents a different kind of man…gives us great hope apart from how the world thinks. Jesus is who men would be wise to emulate, not men of the world. *

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

*Jesus would not think of women in these terms. The good news is that as Catholics, we have a Savior and Leader who represents a different kind of man…gives us great hope apart from how the world thinks. **Jesus is who men would be wise to emulate, not men of the world. ***

:clapping:

 

[WillyMcCabe]

No, not all men use porn. Smart men stay away from it because it is highly addicting, can warp a man’s sense of human sexuality and it can physically alter the way the human brain processes information just like any drug. When my daughters are old enough to date, I will tell them to absolutely, positively stay away from any man who uses porn in any capacity. Not just “for a little fun” or to “spice things up”. I will tell them over and over and over again, real men just plain don’t use any porn of any kind at all.

 

[Luke_K]

Not all men watch porn. By the grace of God I haven’t for a year and a half now. I think if all men experienced a significant time period without sexual images flooding their lives most of them would like it better.

 

[Shannon9791]

As guy and only speaking for personal experience, I Do sometime watch porn but I never do when I’m involved with a romatic intrest. Men in gereral want a woman to be three things 1)they want a woman bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen 2) they want a virgin in public and 3) they want a whore in the bedroom. That is just the way guys think whether they admit it or not. That is not to say they do not love they do they just want a woman to behave a certain way, to one degree or another.

I must have missed this when I read earlier, but this is the most immature thing I think I’ve read on this forum…possibly ever, and as long as you keep thinking this way about women, you’ll probably be alone.

 

[moto5150]

I must have missed this when I read earlier, but this is the most immature thing I think I’ve read on this forum…possibly ever, and as long as you keep thinking this way about women, you’ll probably be alone.

I agree…That statement is absolutely cold. Let me put it slightly different - Maybe this is what he meant to say, if so I would actually agree:

1). Men want a woman who will bear their children with love and care.

2). Men want a woman to be classy and upstanding in social settings.

• This includes attributes known to many as the ‘P-31’ wife. Kind, gentle, soft, nurturing…

3). Men want a woman who is sensual, romantic, sexually charged, not afraid to try things, etc… I don’t know the right word, but whore is definitely** not **it. Between a husband and wife, those acts are to be cherished and treasured. Most men would hope them to be relatively frequent as well.

That’s just my .02. Hopefully it makes sense, and isn’t offensive. Trying to correct the previous poster, who clearly used some poor choices for words.

There are many other factors that men value, I am simply addressing the ones referred to in the previous post.

 

[budgie2]

As far as I know, none of the men in my immediate family watch porn but it’s how they’re brought up aswell. Some mums let their boys watch it and masturbate. I think fine art nudes are more tasteful and womanly like Renoir or any other famous artist. They tend to be fatter and sometimes have smaller breasts and are more ethical.

 

[kage_ar]

I wish I could find a decent guy, but I have to take what I can get. I’m not the prettiest, so I have to take any guy who will have me. I’ll be happy if he has a pulse. If I were more valuable in the dating world, I could have higher standards. I’m not in the place to reject anyone.

As long as you put so little value on yourself, no decent man will give you the time of day.

Do some study on the dignity of the human being, and then apply it to yourself.

 

[Mamanurse]

No, not all men watch porn… I am a man, I have no desire to watch porn, there you are. I would disagree with your statement that “it’s fine” that he doesn’t become Catholic. If you do have, or plan to have childeren then the Fathers faith (or lack there of) is very influential in the childs views on God and Faith. I wouldn’t go giving him ultimatums right now, but I would see if he’s open to at least learning the faith. That might get your foot in the door for a conversion hopefully.

Good luck, and God bless.

Well the “its Fine” part is only because we have discussed the issue of becoming Catholic before and its completely out of the question for him. We are struggling in our marriage quite a bit right now, religion being one of the big topics. I know that while he still has a desire to watch porn he has promised me that he has not in the past 2-3 mths. Unfortunately, we already have a child, which is making this issue even harder for me because I don’t want porn to become a part of his life either.

 

[Mamanurse]

Not that I am in any way qualified to answer this, but I am going to address a seemingly equally serious issue in your post that is not even related to porn. As a husband (who dealt with VERY SIMILAR issues) my wife had the same response as you. I am a typical male, into sports, high-adrenaline lifestyle, ridiculously high sex drive, etc… I struggled with this issue as well. Mostly at times when my wife was witheld intimacy for months at a time, and instead of turning to the disciplines of my faith, I found it easier to act out and satisfy my “need”. Absolutely WRONG!

That being said, Mamanurse, please hear this: Threatening your husband with your marriage will cause him to withdraw into protective mode. Ultimately what you are doing is telling him that he is not worthy of you in his state of sin, and your approach to resolving the issue will present you with one absolutely MASSIVE obstacle: Dishonesty. He, like myself and many other men, will find it nearly impossible to tell you if he struggles with this in the future, as you have let it be known that it’s a potential deal breaker. This gives him nothing to loose to lie to you, and everything to gain. A man will do almost anything to hold his family together, and to many men, and to our fault, it includes dishonesty.

May I offer this approach:
“Your interactions with these images makes me feel cheap, dirty, unloved and unprotected. I know you do not intend for it to make me feel this way, but as a woman, it does. I love you very much, and I respect you as a man, even though you have the ability to hurt me so much. I understand how pornography can be so attractive, but to a woman who is so much in love with you and respects you so greatly, it is equally repulsive. Let’s see what we can do to work through this issue, because I cannot continue to feel this way and respect you as I should.”

I dont know, but I think that might get you somewhere. It would if you were talking to me, that’s for sure.

Thoughts?

Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate it, However- I have tried that approach several times before and he basically told me that it wasn’t his fault that I had so little self esteem. He and I are in therapy and this issue was brought up last night, he again promised me that he has not watched porn since I threatened him. Our marriage, unfortunately, was already to a breaking point and I just couldn’t deal with porn anymore.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Well the “its Fine” part is only because we have discussed the issue of becoming Catholic before and its completely out of the question for him. We are struggling in our marriage quite a bit right now, religion being one of the big topics. I know that while he still has a desire to watch porn he has promised me that he has not in the past 2-3 mths. Unfortunately, we already have a child, which is making this issue even harder for me because I don’t want porn to become a part of his life either.

Would he look at the following websites if you passed them along to him?

www.settingcaptivesfree.com

www.whodoesithurt.com

Especially the last one, they will do him a world of good. Also, have him read The Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West. Or even Holy Sex by Gregory Popcak. He may not be interested in the books, but the first one is a very easy read.

Keep the lines of communication open. Keep letting him know how this make you feel.

 

[teachccd]

The fact that you do not look at porn does not make you (me or anyone else) any more holy than the lowest wretch that does look at and is crushed under the weight of his sorrow and guilt. There is no room such pride. Paul says the wages of sin is death my friend. He also says that in our flesh dwells no good thing.

We are sinners by our fallen nature completely incapable of saving ourselves from it and the wrath to come. Only Christ can deliver us from these sins. It isn’t until we let go of our own human effort and turn it completely over to God that we can be free from any sinful behaviors no matter what they are. He gets the all glory for our sanctification and salvation not us.

Really? So bring on the porn?? Why not since I’m no better than one who doesn’t. That’s the most ridiculous theology I’ve ever heard. Yes, Christ freed us from sin but we must cooperate with that redemption. Otherwise there would be no need for the three chapters in Matthew: 5,6,and 7. How can we “Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy” if nothing good dwells in us? Was Jesus asking the impossible of us?

 

[moto5150]

Really? So bring on the porn?? Why not since I’m no better than one who doesn’t. That’s the most ridiculous theology I’ve ever heard. Yes, Christ freed us from sin but we must cooperate with that redemption. Otherwise there would be no need for the three chapters in Matthew: 5,6,and 7. How can we “Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy” if nothing good dwells in us? Was Jesus asking the impossible of us?

FiberZilla is absolutely theologically on point. “cast the first stone…” Although the onlookers weren’t struggling with prostitution necessarily, they viewed the sin to be somehow ‘worse’ than their sins of simplicity (gossip, division, etc…). Jesus wasn’t saying ‘bring on the prostitution’, but rather his heart was to free the sinner - THE LESSON WAS TO THE CROWD!! You, have placed yourself in the crowd, by your own words, and are pointing the finger at those who struggle with porn…The very thing Jesus himself was so enraged with. All have fallen short of the glory of God. All need Jesus. Porn addicted men, and little harmless old ladys - Sin is sin…and ultimately separation from God. Jesus makes that pretty clear. Just my .02.

And yes, if you think Jesus was asking us to be perfect and sinless then he absolutely was asking the impossible (and he knew it). If he was indeed asking this, then in the same breath he was telling us that his blood wouldn’t be necessary.