I never expected having kids to be so hard

[Serap]

No matter how many times a parent told me that raising kids is difficult, I never truly believed them. I always thought, “come on, how hard can it be?”

Until I had kids of my own, I never really respected the job of being a parent. What a shock to my system this whole thing has been! I had PPD after my son and being a mom is literally the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life and I’ve done some pretty remarkeable things.

I just never expected motherhood to be such a difficult job. I love being a mom, but boy…the lack of personal space/time, patience, rest…it just gets to you sometimes. The exhaustion some days…OMG!

I can also imagine how rewarding it must be to watch your children grow up and then when you look back, you will have life long memories of love and togetherness (hopefully with God’s help).

 

[garn9173]

That’s what our parents call payback

 

[Serap]

That’s what our parents call payback

LOL

 

[SamH]

That’s what our parents call payback

My mom and dad had 12 children, when my mom hears me complain about the work invovled raising 4 she just laughs and says I need a few more to put it in perspective.

 

[lonelypetunia]

I once asked my girlfriend why does she keep saying I should have children. I caught her off guard one time and she looked at me with a sad expression and said misery loves company.

I don’t have children and probably won’t. I used to think I would have regretted that decision but now I think it was the right one for me. I’m the fun aunt. I spoil the kids get them riled up and leave… My house is clean and quiet…

 

[Sunlight]

I once asked my girlfriend why does she keep saying I should have children. I caught her off guard one time and she looked at me with a sad expression and said misery loves company.

I don’t have children and probably won’t. I used to think I would have regretted that decision but now I think it was the right one for me. I’m the fun aunt. I spoil the kids get them riled up and leave… My house is clean and quiet…

I have been told the same also. Anyway, I do have one child, and I love him, but I can never do it again, I would go crazy. I am already going crazy with the one I got, lol

 

[tabycat]

I always said the reason why I never had kids was because I know what a brat I was!!!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

No matter how many times a parent told me that raising kids is difficult, I never truly believed them. I always thought, “come on, how hard can it be?”

Until I had kids of my own, I never really respected the job of being a parent. What a shock to my system this whole thing has been! I had PPD after my son and being a mom is literally the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life and I’ve done some pretty remarkeable things.

I just never expected motherhood to be such a difficult job. I love being a mom, but boy…the lack of personal space/time, patience, rest…it just gets to you sometimes. The exhaustion some days…OMG!

I can also imagine how rewarding it must be to watch your children grow up and then when you look back, you will have life long memories of love and togetherness (hopefully with God’s help).

It is. But things get harder as you go along, you will see. Not to bum you out or anything. Little kids are physically challenging, exhausting at times, but simple. Their joys are simple, their problems are simple, you can put a band-aid on a boo-boo, give them a kiss and off they go again.

As they start to grow up and make some of their own choices and start learning the harder lessons of life, the emotional and spiritual realms come to the fore. No longer can a band-aid fix their injuries - sometimes, the pain can’t be taken away, you just have to love them through it. Prayer becomes absolutely critical (even more!) and you will enlist everyone you know to pray for your kids as they mature into tweens and teens. You stay up waiting for them to come home. You stay up waiting to hear how their night went. You stay up worrying when you don’t get a text or a skype chat during the day. There are so many dangers in the world today. When they were little, I thought - no, I KNEW - I could save my sons from most dangers in their circumscribed world. I patrolled the borders fiercely, keeping them from harm. But then they grew up, and walked out of the compound to face the world on their own terms.

Now I pray a lot, and have insomnia.

 

[CountrySinger]

I once asked my girlfriend why does she keep saying I should have children. I caught her off guard one time and she looked at me with a sad expression and said misery loves company.
.

I’m getting the same things from my friends. They keep saying I NEED to have kids, but I have some tell me that it is so they don’t feel bad about their own lives. They miss being able to go to the bathroom in peace, having free time, sleeping more than two hours, te with their spouse, etc. After hearing that, why would I want kids? If it is horrible, why should I do it?

 

[styrgwillidar]

It is. But things get harder as you go along, you will see. Not to bum you out or anything. …

Now I pray a lot, and have insomnia.

Well, I think it depends on your kids and your expectations. I wouldn’t describe things as harder, just different. Some kids are just born difficult, some choose to become difficult, some are hard early and easy later. Others are difficult their whole lives.

One of the things that may help is to accept, their isn’t really a one-size fits all to parenting. You’re going to have to find your own style based on your kid and your personalities at each stage of life.

 

[Serap]

I once asked my girlfriend why does she keep saying I should have children. I caught her off guard one time and she looked at me with a sad expression and said misery loves company.

I don’t have children and probably won’t. I used to think I would have regretted that decision but now I think it was the right one for me. I’m the fun aunt. I spoil the kids get them riled up and leave… My house is clean and quiet…

JEALOUS!!! clean house…ahhhhhhh…

 

[ajecphotos]

My daughter is 6 yrs old and I started looking after her when she was 5 months old as my wife wanted to go back to work full time. I am self employed so as aid fine. Been hard but well worth it. We are so close!

Best thing ever

 

[Serap]

Well, I think it depends on your kids and your expectations. I wouldn’t describe things as harder, just different. Some kids are just born difficult, some choose to become difficult, some are hard early and easy later. Others are difficult their whole lives.

One of the things that may help is to accept, their isn’t really a one-size fits all to parenting. You’re going to have to find your own style based on your kid and your personalities at each stage of life.

this is what I have been told…doesn’t get harder, just different. Different issues…different stages…different stresses.

although, when they are young, I have to admit that it’s pretty easy to solve their problems for them…just a tickle under the arms and they begin to laugh it off.

 

[Serap]

I’m getting the same things from my friends. They keep saying I NEED to have kids, but I have some tell me that it is so they don’t feel bad about their own lives. They miss being able to go to the bathroom in peace, having free time, sleeping more than two hours, te with their spouse, etc. After hearing that, why would I want kids? If it is horrible, why should I do it?

the hardest things in life are also the most rewarding.

I find it difficult beyond belief, but it’s also so rewarding. It has changed me forever; I’m no longer so selfish and self-absorbed. It’s not about me anymore.

 

[The_Bucket]

I’m getting the same things from my friends. They keep saying I NEED to have kids, but I have some tell me that it is so they don’t feel bad about their own lives. They miss being able to go to the bathroom in peace, having free time, sleeping more than two hours, te with their spouse, etc. After hearing that, why would I want kids? If it is horrible, why should I do it?

There’s a nugget of truth to the complaints but I can’t imagine my life without my kids. Would I love more date nights with the wife and more grown-up adventures with her? Sure! But after awhile it gets, well, boring. When you’re in love you want to share that love. That’s why so many people are heartbroken when they’re dealing with infertility. They have love they’re trying to give and they don’t understand why nature precludes it or why God would not will them to do so the natural way.

I cherish every minute I get with my wife alone. Sometimes you have to be creative. Sometimes you do the straightforward thing and get friends to watch your kids so you can get out for awhile. I certainly love the night or two I get every few months when a family member comes and watches them for the evening so my wife and I can get away. And I make sure to make our anniversaries a getaway time too, even if the getaway is just for 24-36 hours.

Raising kids is hard and I’m sure it will become very, very complicated as they get older. As a man and the provider for the family, the financial burden can be daunting as well. I’m sure my wife’s task is just as daunting dealing with a 4 year old and a 3 year old all day… while being 20 weeks pregnant! But I can’t imagine a more rewarding thing than bringing new life into the world and giving that life the opportunity to choose God and eternal bliss with Him and the rest of the Communion of Saints.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

this is what I have been told…doesn’t get harder, just different. Different issues…different stages…different stresses.

although, when they are young, I have to admit that it’s pretty easy to solve their problems for them…just a tickle under the arms and they begin to laugh it off.

Yeah, that doesn’t work after about age 10…maybe a little longer with girls. If you try, they will just say, “Mommmmmmm” and roll their eyes.

I find this phase a LOT harder. But YMMV.

 

[ajecphotos]

I cherish every min away from my wife! Lol

 

[CountrySinger]

the hardest things in life are also the most rewarding.

I find it difficult beyond belief, but it’s also so rewarding. It has changed me forever; I’m no longer so selfish and self-absorbed. It’s not about me anymore.

The sad thing is that my friends don’t find it rewarding. They actually regret it. So I don’t get the whole talk about how horrible children are and then say “CountrySinger you need to have a baby.” It is kind of poor advertising (from my friends, not you Serap). For my emotional and physical health, kids are a risky idea. So no little CountrySingers. And the world can breathe a sigh of relief because of that fact.

I guess I am weird, I have absolutely no biological clock or desire for kids. I worked as a teacher for years, so I think that turned me off of the idea of having kids.

 

[Serap]

The sad thing is that my friends don’t find it rewarding. They actually regret it. So I don’t get the whole talk about how horrible children are and then say “CountrySinger you need to have a baby.” It is kind of poor advertising (from my friends, not you Serap). For my emotional and physical health, kids are a risky idea. So no little CountrySingers. And the world can breathe a sigh of relief because of that fact.

I guess I am weird, I have absolutely no biological clock or desire for kids. I worked as a teacher for years, so I think that turned me off of the idea of having kids.

one too many snotty noses?

that’s another thing…the snot…ooohhh the snot…

 

[gmarie21]

The sad thing is that my friends don’t find it rewarding. They actually regret it. So I don’t get the whole talk about how horrible children are and then say “CountrySinger you need to have a baby.” It is kind of poor advertising (from my friends, not you Serap). For my emotional and physical health, kids are a risky idea. So no little CountrySingers. And the world can breathe a sigh of relief because of that fact.

I guess I am weird, I have absolutely no biological clock or desire for kids. I worked as a teacher for years, so I think that turned me off of the idea of having kids.

Do they know how you feel about the issue? I find that when I am around those who want children but are either unable or are having a difficult time, I downplay the joys and heighten the hardship. That may be what your friends are doing?