"I Quit" -- Contraception in the Workplace

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dmar198

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Please pray for me. I just did something that was very hard for me to do. I had to quit my retail job at Big Lots today because somebody tried to buy contraceptives through my register (by the way, I’m 17).

I’ll just give background info from here out, if you want to read it, or you can just pray for me because the shorthand version is this: I loved my job, but I love my faith more.

My particular Big Lots had never sold abc before, and one of my conditions of taking the job had been related to my faith (no work on sundays), so I was very pleased about that. But then, we got a new, half-price shipment in from a Rite Aid that had closed, and among the things they sent us was a variety of Trojan condoms. I told my boss about my reasons for not being able to sell those things, and she told me that it was okay, I could just have somebody else ring those things out from my register. I told her I couldn’t allow that. She suggested that I refer such purchases to another cashier, but I told her I couldn’t do that either. She said, Okay, we’ll just place you in furniture and you won’t have to sell anything. At the time, that seemed like it would work: I have thoroughly enjoyed working there, it was loads of fun and I (hope I) did a great job at all my tasks.

Anyway, today someone called in sick, so they asked me to cover back-up register for them for eight hours, and I said okay. Not very far into it–maybe one-and-a-half hours in–someone came through my register from the Rite Aid closeout section, 'cuz the deals were so good. I began to ring up their items, when I saw “ultra thin protection” or some such nonsense. I said, Can you hang on a second? I have to go ask something from my boss. and then I went straight to my boss to tell her that I had a problem with selling something I couldn’t sell. She knew right what it was and went over there to finish the sale. I wanted to stop her because she was selling, on my behalf, the wanton destruction of human dignity, but I knew at the same time that I couldn’t stop the sale, 'cuz it is not my place to dictate to my boss what she can or can’t support: I can only inform, and I had already done that. In a state of mental conflict, I just brisked to the break room, knelt down, and prayed hard.

No resolution came to me except this:

By taking the job, I had put myself in a position of sinning either way. I had risked on the chance that if I inwardly hoped that no one would buy the abc, then everybody would comply. But you can’t support a company who sells contraception just by not selling it personally: the things you support transcend yourself. The only thing I could do was to quit and confess my sin later.

So I did (I’ll confess asap). I told my boss that I couldn’t stay, and she said she understood and hated to lose my help. But I just left 2 hours into my shift and she told me she’d clock me out on the computer later. I’m sorry, friends. But I feel desperately conflicted, and I implore your prayers. God, help me.

-Dmar198
 
I told my boss about my reasons for not being able to sell those things, and she told me that it was okay, I could just have somebody else ring those things out from my register. I told her I couldn’t allow that. She suggested that I refer such purchases to another cashier, but I told her I couldn’t do that either.
Your problem is right here. You were completely unreasonable. You wanted to stop the store from selling a lawful product at any time you were in it! You do not have that right. You can keep yourself from participating, but you wanted to tell the boss that you will not allow anyone else to ring it up either? And what about the rights of the customer, who obviously does not share your moral conviction?

I’m sorry, but I think you deserved to lose this job.

I will pray that you find a job you feel you can do morally, but also that you learn some flexibility and that you cannot force everyone to live by your rules.
 
Selling contraceptives is not like helping someone get an abortion.

I think you were being unreasonable. While contraception is a grave sin, I think what you wrote here verges on scrupulosity. I think you went a bit too far. Personally, I believe you would have been better off letting the manager ring up the sale and just wait out until the stock of contraceptives is gone.
 
Your problem is right here. You were completely unreasonable. You wanted to stop the store from selling a lawful product at any time you were in it! You do not have that right. You can keep yourself from participating, but you wanted to tell the boss that you will not allow anyone else to ring it up either? And what about the rights of the customer, who obviously does not share your moral conviction?

I’m sorry, but I think you deserved to lose this job.

I will pray that you find a job you feel you can do morally, but also that you learn some flexibility and that you cannot force everyone to live by your rules.
Wait a second dusky, These actions are not without real merit. This what Our Lady of Fatima and the Gospels say about standing up for the truth.

Our Lady appeared to Jacinta several times between December 1919 and February 1920. Our Lady told her many things including:

"The sins of the world are very great … If men only knew what eternity is, they would do everything in their power to change their lives.”

"You must pray much for sinners and priests and religious.”

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.”

Our Lady, July 13, 1917: The good will be martyred.

Romans 1:
16
For I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: for Jew first, and then Greek.
17
For in it is revealed the righteousness of God from faith to faith; as it is written, “The one who is righteous by faith will live.”

Now having said, this I believe the Church does not hold us responsible for selling such items in a store that sells other things.

But I’m not sure I agreed with completely dismissing these actions. Remember, “If you don’t stand for something you won’t stand at all”.
 
I applaud you for your convictions. And a 17 year old at that. Way to go. We need more yougsters to stand up for good.
:clapping:
 
Yes, thorny situation…, but I do applaud the fact that you, unlike so many other people your age, are exercising your conscience. You have my prayers for sure.
 
Wait a second dusky, These actions are not without real merit.
I’m with you GratefulDad!! My heart breaks for someone so conflicted by this, and struck to the point of falling to his/her knees in prayer!!!

My gosh - if we were all so concerned, this world would certainly be a very different place.

I don’t know if Dmar “deserved” to loose the job - perhaps trying to find another way to work through the situation might have been an option, I don’t really know enough about the situation. All I can say is that I am very proud of this young person for standing up for what they believe in.

~Liza
 
Please pray for me. I just did something that was very hard for me to do. I had to quit my retail job at Big Lots today because somebody tried to buy contraceptives through my register (by the way, I’m 17).

Way to go! you will be in my prayers!
 
Please pray for me. I just did something that was very hard for me to do. I had to quit my retail job at Big Lots today because somebody tried to buy contraceptives through my register (by the way, I’m 17).

I’ll just give background info from here out, if you want to read it, or you can just pray for me because the shorthand version is this: I loved my job, but I love my faith more.

My particular Big Lots had never sold abc before, and one of my conditions of taking the job had been related to my faith (no work on sundays), so I was very pleased about that. But then, we got a new, half-price shipment in from a Rite Aid that had closed, and among the things they sent us was a variety of Trojan condoms. I told my boss about my reasons for not being able to sell those things, and she told me that it was okay, I could just have somebody else ring those things out from my register. I told her I couldn’t allow that. She suggested that I refer such purchases to another cashier, but I told her I couldn’t do that either. She said, Okay, we’ll just place you in furniture and you won’t have to sell anything. At the time, that seemed like it would work: I have thoroughly enjoyed working there, it was loads of fun and I (hope I) did a great job at all my tasks.

Anyway, today someone called in sick, so they asked me to cover back-up register for them for eight hours, and I said okay. Not very far into it–maybe one-and-a-half hours in–someone came through my register from the Rite Aid closeout section, 'cuz the deals were so good. I began to ring up their items, when I saw “ultra thin protection” or some such nonsense. I said, Can you hang on a second? I have to go ask something from my boss. and then I went straight to my boss to tell her that I had a problem with selling something I couldn’t sell. She knew right what it was and went over there to finish the sale. I wanted to stop her because she was selling, on my behalf, the wanton destruction of human dignity, but I knew at the same time that I couldn’t stop the sale, 'cuz it is not my place to dictate to my boss what she can or can’t support: I can only inform, and I had already done that. In a state of mental conflict, I just brisked to the break room, knelt down, and prayed hard.

No resolution came to me except this:

By taking the job, I had put myself in a position of sinning either way. I had risked on the chance that if I inwardly hoped that no one would buy the abc, then everybody would comply. But you can’t support a company who sells contraception just by not selling it personally: the things you support transcend yourself. The only thing I could do was to quit and confess my sin later.

So I did (I’ll confess asap). I told my boss that I couldn’t stay, and she said she understood and hated to lose my help. But I just left 2 hours into my shift and she told me she’d clock me out on the computer later. I’m sorry, friends. But I feel desperately conflicted, and I implore your prayers. God, help me.

-Dmar198
I think having somebody else ring up up the condoms was a very good solution to this problem. However you have to follow your conscience and if you feel that was not acceptable to you did the right thing.

At some point you’ll have to decide where to draw the line For instance if you work for a major company and they have a subsidiary the sells contraceptives would you quit? What if you work for a company that owns stock in a company that sells contraceptives? How about if you work for a hospital and find out that they have a department doing stem cell research?
 
Although it would not have been sinful for you to send the customers to a different register, I applaud you for taking a stand as you did. :tiphat: Keep fighting the good fight and know that you will be in my prayers. 👍
 
Dmar, what you did was especially courageous for someone your age. Even if you later end up thinking of some way you could have retained your morals and your job, your former boss and coworkers won’t soon forget what you did (even if they think you’re ‘over the top.’) If it influences even one person to rethink their notions of morality or responsibility, it was worth it. In a way, you had a little “martyrdom.” Is there a Hobby Lobby near you? They’re Christian, closed on Sunday and you wouldn’t have to worry about selling condoms…
 
Pray for you? You pray for me! I know you got an “in” with the saints. What would our Blessed Mother do?👍
 
Dmar, I too think you may have gone too far (but I DO think you need to do what you think is right). I’ve been (am in) a similar situation. I work for a Catholic hospital who just recently purchased the local Women’s Clinic. In keeping with Catholic morality the Women’s Clinic (previously secular) is not allowed to hand out contraceptives in the clinic, or give any shots, IUDs, etc. However, they ARE allowed to write a prescription (on non-hospital prescription pads) and send the people on their merry way for the contraception.
This REALLY bothered me. I immediately went to the spiritual director and told him my concerns (to me this is the same as a dr saying “no, I don’t perform abortions, but here’s the name of someone who does”. Or “no, I won’t murder your husband for money, but I know a guy…”) and he pretty much said that there was nothing I could do. I spoke with the priest in the town I live in, and the priest who had been my confessor; both said that I had fulfilled my Christian duty: taken the matter to someone who was in a position to change things. The spiritual director, and the CEO (both Catholic) now are in the position to find an NFP doctor, or someone to teach it so that the Women’s Clinic doctors have something else to offer people. I don’t envy their jobs. Everytime I think about it, it hurts. Luckily we have a 24 hour Adoration Chapel in the hospital, and if anyone can change things, He can. 👍 And I don’t doubt He will. 😉

That being said, Dmar, I think refusing to sell the contraception yourself, along with educating your boss, was the fulfillment of your Christian duty. But again, you have to do what you think is morally right. Though, it raises another question for me: do you shop in places that sell abc? I just wonder where you will draw the line…

You will be in my prayers. God Bless
 
i think that was very wise of you, you put God and your morals before your job, that’s how it should be, you did good.

it’s not a matter of “pushing your beliefs off on others”
it’s a matter of making your beliefs known, and showing how strongly you feel about it and why,
giving others something to think about,
if we don’t do it, who will? and how will we ever make a difference if no one hears us?
and i don’t mean to go out and make public speeches, but simply to stand up for what you believe, because if we don’t, then no one will take it seriously or even think anything of it.
we should never put our morals aside for anyone or any thing, nothing and no one is worth the loss or your immortal soul.

i think what we have to realize is, that in this life, what matters most is pleasing God and doing what’s right, our life on earth does not last very long at all, we have such little time to do anything, so our goals should be set at their highest, wasting no time, and the highest goal is heaven.
what on this earth is worth our time if it does not bring us closer to God? there is nothing, and it will only be to late by time we truly realize all the time we’ve wasted, which would have otherwise given us so much more then we could imagine.

i think what you should do when you go to confession is talk to your priest about the situation first, and ask if you really did sin, because i’m not so sure you did, it didn’t sound to me like you really knew what you were doing…of course i could be wrong, but if not, then i think that would be a good idea.

ok well i’ll pray for you to find a new better job, alright, tc.
 
dmar…I agree with the majority that you did the ‘right’ thing, albeit the harder thing to do. Hey, if you really feel that working for a company who sells abc compromises your morals, then quitting was the right thing for you. I don’t think you did anything wrong…but maybe before you take another job in retail, like another chain store like a big lots, just make sure you do your homework on the company-so you don’t end up taking the job, and then having to leave again. I applaud your courage.

I don’t think that we can impose our views on others…but, hopefully, good examples like yours will cause others to change their ways.

You’re in my prayers.
 
I think you went beyond the call of duty, but thank you very much for standing up for our beliefs like that. If there were more people like you, it would be easier for everyone to put more pressure on their employers over things like this.
 
You should thank your boss for being so understanding! Good for you to stand up to your beliefs. And kudos to the boss for doing whatever she could to try and find reasonable accommodations for you. I’ll be praying for you.
 
Tonks40 is so right! How many bosses, especially in retail, would be as understanding? Good for her, too, for helping you live your faith. You’ll both be blessed for it.
 
:clapping: :tiphat: :knight2: :hug1: :blessyou: 🍕 👍 You are so cool!
You’ll find a job where you can glorify God. I’m praying for you right now.
 
If having someone else ring up such purchases bothers you, it sounds like you need to work in a store that does not sell those products.
 
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