I sin as soon as I finish confession, so what's the point?

[guiltyofdoubt]

I am greatly troubled. Since becoming Catholic officially 2 years ago (I am 45 year old married man and father of one), I have become more and more miserable, and more and more sure of my eternal damnation. I cannot stop sinning. I go to adoration every other week, and talk to Jesus, asking for help. I haven’t missed weekly Mass or a Day of Obligation in 3 years. I ask for help in my unbelief, for help in knowing the right path, and being sure of the Faith. I never feel any answer. I only feel hopeless and helpless.

Sin feels good…especially of the sexual variety, and I tell myself, why would God make it this way to be so tempting? Perhaps it’s true that some of us are just not chosen, and that I am damned, so why not just sin and enjoy the time I have here before I die and burn in eternal pain? I go to confession, but it seems so repetitive now that I go less and less. I sin almost immediately after leaving the confessional, at least in thought. My lust for women is overpowering. I see an attractive woman and all I can think about is that.

Saying the rosary does nothing for me. It feels like repetitive chanting. I am so depressed. I was hoping becoming Catholic would turn my life around, but has left me in more despair. You will all say how it’s the devil lying in my ear, and tempting me, and so on, and how I am succumbing to the devil. You will suggest I pray to Mary, or say the Rosary, or wear a scapular, or keep some saint card near me, or icon of Mary or some other Saint. I’ve read it all here before.

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief? Why can’t I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism? I believe there is God, and that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this world or universe could exist without a Creator, but I am doubting more and more His personal involvement with my life. I fear death. I am obsessed with my mortality. I worry that if I quit doing something I like that is “sinful”, I will just be even more miserable, and if there is nothing after, then I will have lived a life I didn’t ask for in way that I didn’t want to live it. Basically, I just feel depressed and hopeless, scared and worried, and I don’t know what to do about any of it anymore.

 

[John_Martin]

Read my web page softvocation.org/2016/01/03/law-and-grace/
It concerns how God gives us the help we need to do all the things you wish to do.
It was given by me in a talk to a class studying the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

You will find out about Grace that is with the Holy Spirit’s presence in you and with you. And about the Virtues and how to make use of them in doing all your doings virtuously (which means doing none of your doings sinfully after you have heard the words of absolution from your sin and done your penance)

Take a look; enjoy doing all your doings virtuously.

 

[guanophore]

I am greatly troubled. Since becoming Catholic officially 2 years ago (I am 45 year old married man and father of one), I have become more and more miserable, and more and more sure of my eternal damnation. I cannot stop sinning. I go to adoration every other week, and talk to Jesus, asking for help. I haven’t missed weekly Mass or a Day of Obligation in 3 years. I ask for help in my unbelief, for help in knowing the right path, and being sure of the Faith. I never feel any answer. I only feel hopeless and helpless.

Sin feels good…especially of the sexual variety, and I tell myself, why would God make it this way to be so tempting? Perhaps it’s true that some of us are just not chosen, and that I am damned, so why not just sin and enjoy the time I have here before I die and burn in eternal pain? I go to confession, but it seems so repetitive now that I go less and less. I sin almost immediately after leaving the confessional, at least in thought. My lust for women is overpowering. I see an attractive woman and all I can think about is that.

Saying the rosary does nothing for me. It feels like repetitive chanting. I am so depressed. I was hoping becoming Catholic would turn my life around, but has left me in more despair. You will all say how it’s the devil lying in my ear, and tempting me, and so on, and how I am succumbing to the devil. You will suggest I pray to Mary, or say the Rosary, or wear a scapular, or keep some saint card near me, or icon of Mary or some other Saint. I’ve read it all here before.

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief? Why can’t I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism? I believe there is God, and that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this world or universe could exist without a Creator, but I am doubting more and more His personal involvement with my life. I fear death. I am obsessed with my mortality. I worry that if I quit doing something I like that is “sinful”, I will just be even more miserable, and if there is nothing after, then I will have lived a life I didn’t ask for in way that I didn’t want to live it. Basically, I just feel depressed and hopeless, scared and worried, and I don’t know what to do about any of it anymore.

Sounds like you need a spiritual director, and/or a therapist.

Your discomfort is a signal that your soul wants to grow and be made into the image and likeness of God, therefore, you are distressed when you see the gap.

It sounds like you are trying to comply with God’s commandments without grace (just by ego strength), which is not possible.

 

[Bookcat]

Sounds like you need to make an appointment with a Priest for spiritual direction and counseling…

There is so much in your post to discuss with the Priest. Print it out and bring it with you and let him read it. Then take things one at a time as you go through your meeting.

Work with the Priest and do not give up!!! Jesus loves us and gives us true life - and is with us even in our struggles.

 

[TwoNames]

I started taking my faith seriously when I was 17. (I’m in my mid 20s now) First 5 years I was pretty much in the same boat, especially when it comes to obsess about morality. I was told by at least 3 different priests and a therapist that I am very scupulus. Now, I see that there are many who face that in the first years after conversion, not all, but many. I believe God has something in mind when it comes to this. I know for myself that eventhough it’s hell to go through this, it can bare good fruit. If nothing else, I know a bit more about the teaching of the Church and always am on guard for this. For myself, when it comes to the temptations is that I try my best not to let it go to the edge of what '‘is legal’ (not sinful). Because once there, you’ll fall. I keep my head down when I sense that if I see a beautiful woman, I may get lustful thoughts. But hey, don’t think about a pink elephant! What did you think about? Don’t fight it straight on, try changing the subject in your head, when that is impossible I talk with Jesus (in my head, right there) about how I don’t want to offend him. When it comes to impurity, I feel as if God is telling me as He said to the st. Paul “my Grace is sufficient”. It really is. Try realising that when in temptation, you are not going to die if you don’t do it. You are free not to commit the sin. That’s when you’ll find out who you are dealing with. Your desire, yourself. When we say “I don’t want to do it, but I’m tempted”, I think we are lying. Realise that yes, you DO want to do it. When I am tempted, I quickly ask God for help and guess what, sometimes it’s like I would not be anwsered, the desire, the temptation is still there. But I get up and get on with my bussiness as usual, or just take a walk. When I get home, it’s sometimes bettter, sometimes not. But the desire ceases, the body gives up. His Grace is sufficient! You’ll merit a lot. When you are not tempted I’d suggest you say this little prayer whenever you feel like it “God, when temptations appear, come to my help, quickly.” It’s by the grace of God, we once again have the grace needed to fight. Don’t expect temptations to go away, just like that. I excpect them to be with me until I’m dead and if I get to heaven, I will say God “Thank you SOOOO MUCH FOR THE TEMPTATIONS”. About the suffering you are undergoing, get a good spiritual director and know that God is in still in control, he is purifying you and preparing you for good things.

Not long ago, I’ve writen a list of practical things that may help you out (I think it’s the third comment from the top down… under my name)
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1004854&highlight=impurity

I hope it helps. God bless!

 

[guanophore]

I am greatly troubled. Since becoming Catholic officially 2 years ago (I am 45 year old married man and father of one), I have become more and more miserable, and more and more sure of my eternal damnation. I cannot stop sinning. I go to adoration every other week, and talk to Jesus, asking for help. I haven't missed weekly Mass or a Day of Obligation in 3 years. I ask for help in my unbelief, for help in knowing the right path, and being sure of the Faith. I never feel any answer. I only feel hopeless and helpless.

Becoming Catholic makes you more miserable because you have the Truth living within you, and when you act against it your conscience is provoked. You are stuck because you keep asking God for what He has already given you, instead of putting the gifts to work that you already have received. Belief is a choice, and once it is made (to put your faith in Christ) then all other decisions must flow from it.

Sin feels good…especially of the sexual variety, and I tell myself, why would God make it this way to be so tempting?

God created sexuality so that we could feel good within the marital embrace and enjoy the fulfillment of His will in our procreation.

Perhaps it's true that some of us are just not chosen, and that I am damned, so why not just sin and enjoy the time I have here before I die and burn in eternal pain? I go to confession, but it seems so repetitive now that I go less and less. I sin almost immediately after leaving the confessional, at least in thought. My lust for women is overpowering. I see an attractive woman and all I can think about is that.

Confession is a waterfall from which God’s grace pours forth. If we fall back in the mud after leaving, why would it make sense to avoid going back to be cleansed again? It seems that you are trying to control the desires of your flesh with your human willpower, which is insufficient. We are saved by grace, through faith, not of our own works or ego.

Saying the rosary does nothing for me. It feels like repetitive chanting. I am so depressed.

One cannot assume that, just because something feels repetitive or depression has not lifted, that the spiritual disciplines are doing nothing. They operate on a plane we sometimes cannot discern for many years. In any case, it is not prudent to go by feelings. We must go by the Truth, which is that the Rosary is a powerful spiritual weapon, whether we “feel” it, or not.

I was hoping becoming Catholic would turn my life around, but has left me in more despair. You will all say how it’s the devil lying in my ear, and tempting me, and so on, and how I am succumbing to the devil. You will suggest I pray to Mary, or say the Rosary, or wear a scapular, or keep some saint card near me, or icon of Mary or some other Saint. I’ve read it all here before.

Actually, although the devil does tempt us through our fleshly desires, it seems to me that your problem is more in your distorted thinking. People who do not believe and act according to the Truth will be miserable. It is how we are made.

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief?

Here is one of the major roots of your distorted thinking. The HS has already given you faith, which is what enabled you to become Catholic. Faith is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it grows. To keep going back to God, begging for what He has already given you, rather than thanking Him for the gift and putting it to use is ridiculous. If the HS had hair, He would be pulling it out! Why does this creature keep coming back asking for what he already has?!??!

Embracing belief is something we do with an act of the will. You did this when you became Catholic, but since then you seemed to have stopped doing it. If you confessed the same baptismal vows that are recited ever Easter each morning, this would be a lot more clear to you.

Why can't I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism? I believe there is God, and that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this world or universe could exist without a Creator, but I am doubting more and more His personal involvement with my life.

I am not sure what kind of certainly you think you need. Obviously you had sufficient certainty to become Catholic, so you had it at one point. If you have abandoned it, I assure you it was not God that moved away from you!

I can see how you would doubt His personal involvement with your life. If I gave someone numerous gifts and they ignored them, and acted as if they never received them, I would probably wait until they came to their senses before giving them more.

I fear death. I am obsessed with my mortality. I worry that if I quit doing something I like that is “sinful”, I will just be even more miserable, and if there is nothing after, then I will have lived a life I didn’t ask for in way that I didn’t want to live it. Basically, I just feel depressed and hopeless, scared and worried, and I don’t know what to do about any of it anymore.

I am having trouble making sense out of what you are trying to say here but it certainly seems that you are not choosing to act according to the Truth that God has revealed. This being the case, such a one will be miserable. It is the Truth that will set you free, not choosing to believe in lies.

 

[AKDee]

I struggle with many of the things you wrote about. I know what my priest would say to you- that faith is not about how you feel, that faith is an act of the will. He would tell me about how Mother Theresa experienced a dark night of the soul for, what, 50 years? But she persevered despite that, and now she’s a Saint. She literally could not feel God at all for many years, and never gave up. Most of us go through cycles of consolation and then desolation, and all she had was desolation. But she didn’t give up, she persevered, and now she is in the presence of God. So it wasn’t about how she felt, it was about the act of the will of never giving up, or never turning away from God.

I don’t believe anyone is predestined for hell. I believe God knows who is going to go to hell and who won’t, but the Bible tells us that God wills that ALL men be saved and I take that at face value. So He’s not willing that a certain person won’t be saved but He will allow it for the sake of their free will if they choose not to accept His mercy. In your own case, even if I believed in predestination I wouldn’t believe you were predestined for hell. How could you be? You’ve been baptized and confirmed, you’re received the Holy Spirit. And obviously the Spirit is with you or you wouldn’t feel guilty and tortured. Guilt is a sign that the Spirit is convicting you of your guilt and calling you to change.

Don’t give up. If the Rosary isn’t for you, fine. One of the beautiful things about the Catholic faith is the variety of options available for us to draw closer to God. Try different things until one of them strikes a chord with you- God may be calling you to a different type of worship than what you’ve been doing.

And temptation itself is not sin. Seeing a woman and feeling attracted is not sin. If you actively choose to dwell on it, if you embrace those thoughts, if you don’t ask the Holy Spirit for help in banishing those thoughts, then that is where the sin begins. My priest told me once that when it comes to sexual thoughts that it’s more effective to run from them than to try to fight them. He suggested going for a walk or doing whatever will distract you from those thoughts. And when you have those thoughts pray for help to banish them. Also, I was listening to a talk by Father Larry Richards once and he suggested asking God to slay your demon of lust. I have found that helps me, personally.

 

[AttendeDomine]

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief? Why can’t I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism?

Perhaps, in your heart of hearts, you love these sins far more than you love Jesus. Perhaps permitting you to fall, and putting in your heart a yearning for more, is Jesus’ way of inviting you to a deeper conversion to Him.

You say you’ve read recommendations to practice certain devotions. Devotions, Confession, attending Mass, reading Scripture, reading the writings of Saints… what good are these if, deep down, their main focus is on a God whom you barely desire to know, let alone to deeply love, let alone to set aside yourself for and to sacrifice your discomfort for? If pornography and masturbation and lust and adultery are more important than Jesus, then simply practicing an external devotion to Mary or gazing on a Holy Card is going to count for naught. God doesn’t look at the externals, He looks in our hearts.

Perhaps you are looking for feelings. Christ is looking for you to make a decision, an act of the will to follow Him and to discipline yourself and to live up to your full potential as a man, and to meet the level of holiness He intends for you.

I would also say that, on first glance, your story does strike me as being an obvious case of demonic oppression. Pornography, despair, hopelessness, depression, a consistent state of mortal sin, refusing to rely on God’s grace for salvation, losing a desire for salvation to begin with … all of these are tell-tale signs of a deeper spiritual problem which is probably more than mere temptation.

Recommending an exorcist over the internet, coupled with my obvious inability to be an authority on this, is not something I’m comfortable with … but I would encourage you to at least try to find one.

 

[guiltyofdoubt]

Isn’t Belief more than something you just choose? I mean, isn’t there a certainty in those of you who truly have Faith? Where does that come from? It is supposed to be a gift of the Holy Spirit, correct? I can say “I Believe”, but that doesn’t mean I believe in my heart…that I truly believe. I feel like a fraud going to Mass every week, going to Adoration, singing in the Choir. I do all of that. I attend the midweek programs at my church. I have read Hahn and Kreeft. I have read the Gospels over and over, not to mention the Epistles. I have listened to Father Barron…I guess it’s Bishop Baron now. I have put a lot of effort in trying to become a good, faithful Catholic, and to believe what the Creed says. Yet I don’t feel it inside. Why do so many people believe in Islam? Why do people believe in Hinduism? Etc. How do I know what is the right thing to Believe? Why are others so sure there is nothing, meaning atheists? I want to know the Truth. I want the Truth to be obvious to me…not a guessing game about which of the so many different beliefs in this world is correct, if any! I appreciate your replies, though the one mentioning the possibility of demonic possession seems extreme. Anyway, this is Divine Mercy Sunday tomorrow, and I will be at Mass, singing as always. I just wish I didn’t feel like a big fake while doing it.

 

[Robert_Sock]

“How great is the frailty of man, ever prone to evil! Today you confess your sins; tomorrow you again commit the very sins you have confessed! Now you resolve to guard against them, and within the hour you act as though you have never made any of them! … [Remember,] we can easily lose by carelessness that which by God’s grace and our own efforts we have worked hard to win.”
–The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas a Kempis (Book One, Chapter 22):

The OP is not the only one sinning, but all of us! We all need to act as Christ would, but we often encounter sin that repeatedly direction.

“The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help.”
*–The Imitation of Christ *(Book One, Chapter 13), by Thomas a Kempis

Our minds are free to roam, but only a short distance in any direction until the chain connected to our shackles loses its slack. Yes, in some ways our shackles prevent us from reaching higher-ordered meanings of love while in this world, but in other ways they protect us from falling, as innocent victims, into a devouring pit of evil. And so we are constrained due to our human nature that makes us vulnerable to the forces of evil. But in the End, an end that we will all experience soon enough, we will exit from our land of slavery by freely choosing between two gates: The Upper Gate of LOVE, or the Lower Gate of Sin. We who struggle in this life to experience love will eagerly struggle to reach the light leading to the Upper Gate. Once beyond this gate our shackles will be completely removed and every trace of past pain and sin will vanish. Within a heavenly spirit of humor, everyone will then clearly see that the troubles and hardships experienced during this life were a part of a righteous sacrifice that allows for everlasting love, peace, and happiness. However, as if having been born into this world the first time was not traumatic enough, those who persistently tug in the direction of sin will eagerly seek the darkness of the Lower Gate that will lead to slavery anew. And so it will be with the evilhearted until they experience a state of existence with a heat hot enough to melt their heart of stone.

 

[Spritus1]

Hi guiltyofdoubt

Don’t fall into the trap. The devil wants you to feel as you do. He delights in it. He wants to separate you from God forever. Satan has lost you and he wants you back, badly and he is fighting to get you back. So you must make an act of the will. Say to yourself " I will believe". Say " Lord I believe, help my unbelief".

Bear in mind, sin is tempting, it is (outwardly) appealing. But it is poison. Hidden poison. Your feelings are an indication that you are still powerfully linked to God, plugged in to coin a phrase. If you weren’t you would be indifferent and you are not indifferent. This is a good sign. All that is taking place in you is a huge spiritual battle for YOU, for your soul, between God and satan, hence your feelings of turmoil. Make a decisive choice for God and watch your turmoil lessen. You have got to get off the fence. Pick a side. Choose God and live.

Don’t worry about lustful thoughts. Demons can and do stir them up in your mind/ imagination. This causes you to think they come from you (and that you wil be forever a hopeless sinner) when in reality they don’t. It is a deception to provoke despair.

Fight. Fight. Fight. Persevere. Pray. Say " I choose you Oh God".

Try it. Be at peace.

God only asks that we cooperate. He does the heavy lifting.

HE KNOWS OUR WEAKNESS AND IN THIS HIS STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT.

GOD BLESS YOU.

 

[John_Martin]

Isn’t Belief more than something you just choose? I mean, isn’t there a certainty in those of you who truly have Faith? Where does that come from? It is supposed to be a gift of the Holy Spirit, correct? I can say “I Believe”, but that doesn’t mean I believe in my heart…that I truly believe. I feel like a fraud going to Mass every week, going to Adoration, singing in the Choir. I do all of that. I attend the midweek programs at my church. I have read Hahn and Kreeft. I have read the Gospels over and over, not to mention the Epistles. I have listened to Father Barron…I guess it’s Bishop Baron now. I have put a lot of effort in trying to become a good, faithful Catholic, and to believe what the Creed says. Yet I don’t feel it inside. Why do so many people believe in Islam? Why do people believe in Hinduism? Etc. How do I know what is the right thing to Believe? Why are others so sure there is nothing, meaning atheists? I want to know the Truth. I want the Truth to be obvious to me…not a guessing game about which of the so many different beliefs in this world is correct, if any! I appreciate your replies, though the one mentioning the possibility of demonic possession seems extreme. Anyway, this is Divine Mercy Sunday tomorrow, and I will be at Mass, singing as always. I just wish I didn’t feel like a big fake while doing it.

Go to Mass with this resolve: “I am going to sing virtuously, I am going participate virtuously, I am going to eat the Body virtuously, I am going to drink the Blood virtuously, I am going to pray the prayers virtuously, I am going to share the Peace virtuously”
In other words, you are confirming to the Holy Spirit dwelling in you, “I am going to make good use at this Mass of the Virtues you have infused in me; I am going to make good use of You, Holy Spirit.”

Do this. Memorize this resolve of “I am going to do this Mass virtuously.”

 

[guanophore]

 Isn't Belief more than something you just choose? I mean, isn't there a certainty in those of you who truly have Faith? Where does that come from? It is supposed to be a gift of the Holy Spirit, correct? I can say "I Believe", but that doesn't mean I believe in my heart....that I truly believe. I feel like a fraud going to Mass every week, going to Adoration, singing in the Choir. I do all of that.

Yes, it is. The Holy Spirit does bear witness in the heart that we are in Christ. And the feelings do follow along, as well as the behavior. I am saying that it all begins with that act of the will that took place in Confirmation. If you did not have faith, you would not have gotten that far.

As far as “certainty”, I am not sure what you mean. None of us is certain he will persevere to the end. We can be certain about what God has revealed about Himself. That means He loves you, and wants to have fellowship with you now, and in eternity.

I attend the midweek programs at my church. I have read Hahn and Kreeft. I have read the Gospels over and over, not to mention the Epistles. I have listened to Father Barron…I guess it’s Bishop Baron now. I have put a lot of effort in trying to become a good, faithful Catholic, and to believe what the Creed says. Yet I don’t feel it inside.

This is good. It is important to study one’s faith.

. How do I know what is the right thing to Believe?

We can be confident in those things God has revealed to humanity. This is why we are so fortunate to have the Church, who is the custodian of those Truths.

Why are others so sure there is nothing, meaning atheists? I want to know the Truth.

They are lost in darkness.

I want the Truth to be obvious to me....not a guessing game about which of the so many different beliefs in this world is correct, if any!

Well, this is what the Church provides. I think you are saying you want to “feel it” and you don’t. You will not feel it unless and until you can correct your distorted thinking process.

 I appreciate your replies, though the one mentioning the possibility of demonic possession seems extreme. Anyway, this is Divine Mercy Sunday tomorrow, and I will be at Mass, singing as always. I just wish I didn't feel like a big fake while doing it.

You are suffering no temptation but what is common to man. You are not using God’s method to fight it.

I will pray that you will be delivered from being led about through life by your emotions and lusts, and instead, will be led by the Spirit of God, so that you need no longer live by the flesh.

 

[reniae100]

You mentioned that you have a wife and a daughter. I don’t know if you actually act on your sexual betrayals or not. If you do, then you are taking the time that belongs to your daughter and to your wife away from them. How can you look them in the face when you return home. My question to you is - DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTER? How do you feel about betraying their love and commitment to you. How would you feel if your wife betrayed you and your daughter ended up with someone like you?

Perhaps you are too selfish to think of the repercussions of your behaviour. You may need to seek counselling as to why you are behaving in this manner and/or find a good priest, who can walk you through your faith journey. God is all love and merciful and He will forgive you all of your sins.

Humble yourself, be SINCERE and TRUTHFUL if only for now, with yourself. Truth will set you free.

 

[Dorothy]

I struggle with many of the things you wrote about. I know what my priest would say to you- that faith is not about how you feel, that faith is an act of the will. He would tell me about how Mother Theresa experienced a dark night of the soul for, what, 50 years? But she persevered despite that, and now she’s a Saint. She literally could not feel God at all for many years, and never gave up. Most of us go through cycles of consolation and then desolation, and all she had was desolation. But she didn’t give up, she persevered, and now she is in the presence of God. So it wasn’t about how she felt, it was about the act of the will of never giving up, or never turning away from God.

I don’t believe anyone is predestined for hell. I believe God knows who is going to go to hell and who won’t, but the Bible tells us that God wills that ALL men be saved and I take that at face value. So He’s not willing that a certain person won’t be saved but He will allow it for the sake of their free will if they choose not to accept His mercy. In your own case, even if I believed in predestination I wouldn’t believe you were predestined for hell. How could you be? You’ve been baptized and confirmed, you’re received the Holy Spirit. And obviously the Spirit is with you or you wouldn’t feel guilty and tortured. Guilt is a sign that the Spirit is convicting you of your guilt and calling you to change.

Don’t give up. If the Rosary isn’t for you, fine. One of the beautiful things about the Catholic faith is the variety of options available for us to draw closer to God. Try different things until one of them strikes a chord with you- God may be calling you to a different type of worship than what you’ve been doing.

And temptation itself is not sin. Seeing a woman and feeling attracted is not sin. If you actively choose to dwell on it, if you embrace those thoughts, if you don’t ask the Holy Spirit for help in banishing those thoughts, then that is where the sin begins. My priest told me once that when it comes to sexual thoughts that it’s more effective to run from them than to try to fight them. He suggested going for a walk or doing whatever will distract you from those thoughts. And when you have those thoughts pray for help to banish them. Also, I was listening to a talk by Father Larry Richards once and he suggested asking God to slay your demon of lust. I have found that helps me, personally.

Your last paragraph says a lot of what is most important. Many confuse temptation to lust with the sin of consent to lust. That can cause confusion and despair.

To the OP:

If you are not yet attracted to the Rosary, you can still talk to our Blessed Mother and consecrate yourself to her every day. She is a great gift to us, as our Lord Jesus Christ gave her to us at the foot of the cross.

 

[DAML72]

I would strongly encourage you to take these feelings to your parish priest. That is what he is there for, and it can really help. I was in a funk for I think a whole year. It just took a few minutes with my pastor to help get me back on track. Not to say that your issues will be quickly or easily resolved, but it could be tremendously helpful.

 

[anon98328916]

I am greatly troubled. Since becoming Catholic officially 2 years ago (I am 45 year old married man and father of one), I have become more and more miserable, and more and more sure of my eternal damnation. I cannot stop sinning. I go to adoration every other week, and talk to Jesus, asking for help. I haven’t missed weekly Mass or a Day of Obligation in 3 years. I ask for help in my unbelief, for help in knowing the right path, and being sure of the Faith. I never feel any answer. I only feel hopeless and helpless.

Sin feels good…especially of the sexual variety, and I tell myself, why would God make it this way to be so tempting? Perhaps it’s true that some of us are just not chosen, and that I am damned, so why not just sin and enjoy the time I have here before I die and burn in eternal pain? I go to confession, but it seems so repetitive now that I go less and less. I sin almost immediately after leaving the confessional, at least in thought. My lust for women is overpowering. I see an attractive woman and all I can think about is that.

Saying the rosary does nothing for me. It feels like repetitive chanting. I am so depressed. I was hoping becoming Catholic would turn my life around, but has left me in more despair. You will all say how it’s the devil lying in my ear, and tempting me, and so on, and how I am succumbing to the devil. You will suggest I pray to Mary, or say the Rosary, or wear a scapular, or keep some saint card near me, or icon of Mary or some other Saint. I’ve read it all here before.

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief? Why can’t I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism? I believe there is God, and that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this world or universe could exist without a Creator, but I am doubting more and more His personal involvement with my life. I fear death. I am obsessed with my mortality. I worry that if I quit doing something I like that is “sinful”, I will just be even more miserable, and if there is nothing after, then I will have lived a life I didn’t ask for in way that I didn’t want to live it. Basically, I just feel depressed and hopeless, scared and worried, and I don’t know what to do about any of it anymore.

Never giveup on your faith. We all have a constant battle of fighting sin and satan is always trying to tempt us to sin but we have to keep trying and fighting against him. Each time a sinful thought enters your head say “Jesus” over and over until the thought leaves you, I guarantee you it will. Also if you haven’t read the the diary of St Faustina I strongly recommend it…it will change your life!

 

[TK421]

I am greatly troubled. Since becoming Catholic officially 2 years ago (I am 45 year old married man and father of one), I have become more and more miserable, and more and more sure of my eternal damnation. I cannot stop sinning. I go to adoration every other week, and talk to Jesus, asking for help. I haven’t missed weekly Mass or a Day of Obligation in 3 years. I ask for help in my unbelief, for help in knowing the right path, and being sure of the Faith. I never feel any answer. I only feel hopeless and helpless.

Sin feels good…especially of the sexual variety, and I tell myself, why would God make it this way to be so tempting? Perhaps it’s true that some of us are just not chosen, and that I am damned, so why not just sin and enjoy the time I have here before I die and burn in eternal pain? I go to confession, but it seems so repetitive now that I go less and less. I sin almost immediately after leaving the confessional, at least in thought. My lust for women is overpowering. I see an attractive woman and all I can think about is that.

Saying the rosary does nothing for me. It feels like repetitive chanting. I am so depressed. I was hoping becoming Catholic would turn my life around, but has left me in more despair. You will all say how it’s the devil lying in my ear, and tempting me, and so on, and how I am succumbing to the devil. You will suggest I pray to Mary, or say the Rosary, or wear a scapular, or keep some saint card near me, or icon of Mary or some other Saint. I’ve read it all here before.

I just don’t know why the Holy Spirit won’t give me Faith? Why can’t I embrace Belief? Why can’t I have certainty about God, especially as He relates to Catholicism? I believe there is God, and that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this world or universe could exist without a Creator, but I am doubting more and more His personal involvement with my life. I fear death. I am obsessed with my mortality. I worry that if I quit doing something I like that is “sinful”, I will just be even more miserable, and if there is nothing after, then I will have lived a life I didn’t ask for in way that I didn’t want to live it. Basically, I just feel depressed and hopeless, scared and worried, and I don’t know what to do about any of it anymore.

“Spirituality” is the equivalent to a fitness program. It is the program we follow to move us towards holiness, or, a better version of yourself.

Right now your spirituality is heavily charged with negativity. You combat your urges either head-on or by trying not to think about them. This is very unhealthy and you will not find success in this. Please consider Reclaim Sexual Health, which will help you move through these dilemnas. You need to be able to experience some minor successes in order to start rebuilding your confidence. Your anxiety over faith is linked with your sexual failings, because your body is crying out for an outlet to make you feel better. Illicit substances can do this, but sex is easier.

 

[Polluted]

I reccomend the GREEN scapular.

…your welcome /thread

 

[4Jesus4]

I hope the original poster will see my reply. 4 days late. The only requirement for salvation is to believe. If you truly believe that God our Father sent Jesus His Son to die on the cross for our sins and you repent of your (past) sins then your are saved and are guaranteed to go to heaven when you die. When you tell Him you believe he will send the Holy Spirit to dwell within you and He will help you with removing the inclination to sin. Sin after salvation only damages your relationship with Him. It does not change the FACT that you are saved and going to heaven. But only you know for sure whether or not you have actually changed your heart and have become a true Chriatian. Everything any Christian denomination piles on top of the truths I have just stated is unnecessary for
salvation.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
That’s it. Real simple. If you believe then you have everlasting life. The Christian faith goes much deeper than this obviously, but all the deeper stuff is only to help you become a better Christian nothing more is needed to go to heaven. After you believe and understand how much love God the Father had for you to send his Son to die and how much love God the Son had for you to endure the crucifixion then you will fall in love with them and the Hole Spirit who is in you. After belief comes love and any sins you commit should bother you greatly because they damage the loving relationship you have with God. And you should be willing to work with the Holy Spirit to stop committing them.
1John 4:8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.