Im simply unable to feel sorry for some of my sins. In fact the there are some im even glad I committed. No matter how hard I try I cannot regret some of them. Id only be PRETENDING to be sorry and just deceiving myself.
This is only because you don’t see
what those sins you did have done. You simply lack understanding at this point. You don’t see the ripple effect and the destruction your sin has caused… Now, I don’t say that to make you feel worse, but to interest you to the occasion of learning why what God says is sin and trying to find out what those sins actually destroy. When you understand that, you will have real sorrow, and real repentance will follow- and you will be at peace… and have joy that God saved you from darkness of not understanding. …
…Think about the difficulties and struggles Helen Keller had, being both deaf and blind. (
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller) It is the same way for many who have not heard the Gospels taught to them before, or even understood them correctly. Jesus talks a lot about ‘the blind’ in the Gospels. Go take a look!
So, why not ask God for understanding? It may be that you will find in some of your sins God doesn’t hold you as responsible for it as you think He might… again, its a matter of lacking understanding or knowledge. That happened to me on a few things when coming to know Christ… It turns out according to His Word, that on some things that I did that were sin, I was off the hook in responsibility because it was mostly someone else’s failure or wrong doing and I could see that God didn’t hold me fully responsible, but someone else. Now, it was still sin, mind you, but it felt good to know that I wasn’t fully responsible for it… and I loved God because He saw my pain and my dilemma and He didn’t beat on me the way others were about it, but simply gave me an education in love and asked me to not do it again. And because I knew better, because I understood, I did better…because of that love, but ONLY because of Him. This did NOT come from me or any other, though there were most certainly Christians who were helpers. (It is good to remember Christians are not perfect, only Jesus is! So don’t expect perfection from people…ever!)
Scripture says, “the wages of sin is death”. Death. Decay, rotting, destruction, loss. ** Sin is the cause of it. ** Have you ever watched a beloved pet or family member or loved one die? Remember how awful it is to see it? That is what sin does… it takes something good and destroys it, or slowly decays it, bit by bit . Death was not God’s idea, but it was a consequence of the original sin. (One can’t say He didn’t warn Adam and Eve!) In fact God hates death… He hates divorce. He hates sin. He doesn’t even take pleasure in the death of evil people. Sin brings about so much hurt… for everyone. So many complications- sometimes its consequences reaches the innocent! That is a true horror… and that is why its a horror to see Christ on the cross… Pure innocence, pure goodness, pure hope, pure purity, pure love, kindness, justice, etc… murdered. But God cannot be destroyed. Alleluia! Thanks be to God for his works and His mercy!
You may not know it but whatever sin you are glad you committed probably hurt you badly- in fact, your discomfort that you write about now might be the result of that sin. Do you like being discomforted? Do you like dying instead of living? If not, seek and grab onto the only One Who has said, ““I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me…”
