I think im doomed

[ajecphotos]

Think of one of the men that died with Jesus on the cross. A life of crime but a second of forgiveness from Our Lord! All God wants is for us to try. To ask for forgivenss. To love him with the utmost of our ability.

God Bless

 

[AnneElizabeth]

The way I read the whole Esau story was similar to how I read the Simon (of simony) story: both men were only sorry for the punishment they received, not sorry for what they actually did wrong, with no intention or desire of actually changing.

Yes, very good point! I’m glad you made it.

 

[changetheclock]

As long as you are alive there is hope. You may have had crazy parents but now is the time to think about doing something good each day. It sounds like you are consumed in guilt even though you say your not sorry for your sins. God is watching you he wants you to change. Avoid the negative influences in your life even if that means you are alone. The good news is that you realize you’ve lived a life of sin. The more you evaluate your life and invite God into your life through good deeds and prayer, you will see and feel remorse.

 

[fred_conty]

I believe I have crossed the line Into sin unto death. It all makes sense now. Im unable to repent. Envy, pride, premarital sex and sloth have consumed me. These sins are so ingrained in me now. I dont think theres any hope left for me. I have been sucked into the black hole of the ego. I truly know what despair feels like. Id it my fault that I turned out this way though? Its not my fault I was raised by crazy parents who were never able to teach me love. I know there’s no hope for me now because even st john said theres no point in praying for people like me. Esau sought repentence with tears ( as did I) yet he was denied. I don’t even know why im coming here. I dont suppose any of you could offer me any consolation? Im ina pit of despair atm

I know there’s no hope for me now because even st john said theres no point in praying for people like me.

In the book, Little Talks With God, by St. Catherine of Siena, God told her that the greatest sin Judas committed was when he gave up and dispared. God said it was greater than all the other sins of his life combined.

I believe the greatest insult and sin we can commit against Jesus is to say to him that we are beyond his forgiveness. For that was his life’s work.

Don’t you think he knows what a terrible and pityful condition you are in? His ocean of love is bottomless…does not have conditions…does not have any limit. He loves us beyond our wildest imagination. There is nothing he won’t do and can’t do if you ask him in a trusting way. That is the one condition…trust in him…not in yourself.

You are looking at this in the wrong way. It is true that if you rely only on yourself, you won’t make it. But…if you rely on Jesus to change you, then you have the whole universe at your disposal. Just ask him and believe him.

You are seeing yourself so much that you don’t see Jesus. He is right there at your side if you ask him. Don’t think for one instant that he won’t be there when you call upon him. Just say, “Jesus, help me to want to change.” And repeat it over and over as often as you can irregardless of what you are doing or how you are feeling. Just keep saying it, “Jesus help me to WANT to change”.

If you are faithfull to that one prayer, you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
There will be times when you think that you are getting nowhere. And that is the time you need to remember to TRUST in him and not in yourself. “Jesus, I trust in you.”

It said in the bible that Jesus could not work many miracles in one town because of their lack of faith. He requires our absolute trust and faith. Don’t think for one moment you are going to do this by yourself. It isn’t going to happen. You have to trust in Jesus. “Lord, help me to WANT to change.” “Jesus I trust in you.”

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[someperson555]

I may understand better that you think.
It’s hard to let go of the resentments and hurts, and even the things we envy.
Many of us if not all, have things we battle with in our natures and in our lives.
And often we have to deal with the same resentments and unforgiveness time and time again.

We might not talk about it except to the priest in Confession, but to some extent, greater of lesser, we all have to battle with our ego, or sense of injustice etc.
We might never overcome these difficulties for long, but the main thing is to keep trying.
The success is not always in succeeding, but in continuing to try.
Getting up out of the mud and trying again. God sees this. He knows we want to be the person we feel we should be. He knows how hard that is for you, me, and lots of us.

Thank you. A wise post indeed. I really hope god has not given up on me. But it feels like he is not even meeting me half way its like my sins have formed into this self defeating cycle. Ill try to describe it for you all. Probably the easiest to give up was the sex. (Ive been depressed for a while so I dont really desire it atm anyway. However it is tied into my self esteem. I feel as though its not fair that I should give up that ego boost while other people still do it. Especially the women. You see I partially blame women. I DO NOT want my girlfriend to have more sexual experience than me otherwise I will feel immascated. So far ive only had 4 sexual partners and im 23 soim behind the rest of my age group. So I blame women because no offense to the women on this forum but most women nowadays are trash. So thats one of these cycles that has developed. Another is that I feel as though I cannot relax if I try to observe the law. My anxiety goes haywire, I simply cannot enjoy life always being afraid not to eat too much or what movie im allowed to watch or what music im allowed to listen to. Furthermore I feel it is not fair that icant enjoy myself when MOST other catholics lived happy sinful lives in their youths and were only lucky enough to convert in their old age. It fills me with rage that god is demanding that I convert so early while he allowed his other children to have fun and relax.

 

[someperson555]

This is only because you don’t see what those sins you did have done. You simply lack understanding at this point. You don’t see the ripple effect and the destruction your sin has caused… Now, I don’t say that to make you feel worse, but to interest you to the occasion of learning why what God says is sin and trying to find out what those sins actually destroy. When you understand that, you will have real sorrow, and real repentance will follow- and you will be at peace… and have joy that God saved you from darkness of not understanding. …

…Think about the difficulties and struggles Helen Keller had, being both deaf and blind. ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller) It is the same way for many who have not heard the Gospels taught to them before, or even understood them correctly. Jesus talks a lot about ‘the blind’ in the Gospels. Go take a look!

So, why not ask God for understanding? It may be that you will find in some of your sins God doesn’t hold you as responsible for it as you think He might… again, its a matter of lacking understanding or knowledge. That happened to me on a few things when coming to know Christ… It turns out according to His Word, that on some things that I did that were sin, I was off the hook in responsibility because it was mostly someone else’s failure or wrong doing and I could see that God didn’t hold me fully responsible, but someone else. Now, it was still sin, mind you, but it felt good to know that I wasn’t fully responsible for it… and I loved God because He saw my pain and my dilemma and He didn’t beat on me the way others were about it, but simply gave me an education in love and asked me to not do it again. And because I knew better, because I understood, I did better…because of that love, but ONLY because of Him. This did NOT come from me or any other, though there were most certainly Christians who were helpers. (It is good to remember Christians are not perfect, only Jesus is! So don’t expect perfection from people…ever!)

Scripture says, “the wages of sin is death”. Death. Decay, rotting, destruction, loss. ** Sin is the cause of it. ** Have you ever watched a beloved pet or family member or loved one die? Remember how awful it is to see it? That is what sin does… it takes something good and destroys it, or slowly decays it, bit by bit . Death was not God’s idea, but it was a consequence of the original sin. (One can’t say He didn’t warn Adam and Eve!) In fact God hates death… He hates divorce. He hates sin. He doesn’t even take pleasure in the death of evil people. Sin brings about so much hurt… for everyone. So many complications- sometimes its consequences reaches the innocent! That is a true horror… and that is why its a horror to see Christ on the cross… Pure innocence, pure goodness, pure hope, pure purity, pure love, kindness, justice, etc… murdered. But God cannot be destroyed. Alleluia! Thanks be to God for his works and His mercy!

You may not know it but whatever sin you are glad you committed probably hurt you badly- in fact, your discomfort that you write about now might be the result of that sin. Do you like being discomforted? Do you like dying instead of living? If not, seek and grab onto the only One Who has said, ““I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me…”

I must say this has given me some insight. Oce again thank you

 

[someperson555]

If this is okay to add my thoughts here for you, feel free to ignore what you wish…

I shall say a prayer for the sanctification of your soul, for peace in your heart, mind and body. I know your battle - you CAN rid yourself of these sins, searching for the grace within and prayers, I’m sure I’m not saying anything you don’t already know. It’s a daily fight to stay close to God.

I think it was St Anthony of the desert who said: ‘Every day I say to myself, today I will begin.’

You could try reading some of the desert fathers and mothers sayings? I find them to be straight to the point and very helpful, there are books on Amazon. Also if you’re able to order online from the CTS website, they do some great little booklets which are quite cheap, prayers during suffering, etc. Some of these might also help. I sometimes find the Bible very ‘heavy’ I can get depressed when reading chapter after chapter about what not to do and what to do, it can feel overwhelming to me. You could try to read a psalm, or a verse of the proverbs or wisdom say, with a passage from Christ in the Gospels - keep it small, if you struggle with the Scriptures. Maybe pick a few words from Christ which you find comforting and repeat them during the day, use them as a way to calm your mind when you start to despair?

And of course there are Priests, if you can find someone you feel at ease with to talk to…

I hope I don’t come across as bossy, that’s really not my aim, I recognise a lot of what you say, and trying to reach out to you. These are just some ideas I would use myself. God Bless and keep fighting. I believe God and St Michael have you covered if you can try a small step towards Him to begin with.

Thank you very much. It does feel nice that you took the time to pray for me. I actually am familiar with the desert fathers ( although havent read that much of them yet im ashamed to say) ive read early church fathers too and I love psalms its probably my favorite book of the bible. I have made some progress which is why I still have a little hope. The enneagram has really helped me too. I realise a lot of you guys probably dont approve of that but it has helped me identify my root sin ( sloth) which is unwillingness to change ( inertia). As well as helped recognize other sins I have. So I do have some hope its just that that verse from john disturbed me when he said not to pray for people who have sin unto death because it sounds a lot Like what im dealing with.

 

[ready]

Please pray the following prayer frequently to Mary: I renounce myself, I give myself entirely to Thee, my Mother!

And please, please pray the rosary every day for the intentions of 1) knowing the truth, 2) being contrite for all of your sins and 3) obtaining salvation. You may add your other intentions to these three. Mary will help you if you only turn to her frequently with confidence and trust. You will be included in my daily rosaries. God bless you.

 

[Nogginer]

Hello someperson555,
I know someone who I think has almost the exact same problem you do, only different sins, so I have some experience with this issue. Here’s what I have to offer:

For example I just cant let go of my envy or my ego. Every time I try the flames of envy and resentment rise up again. I cant help comparing myself to others.

You’re right in that the “flames of envy and resentment” will not just go away instantly. It will take time to cultivate virtue and be rid of them. In the mean time, while they are there, it is not a sin to feel them, it is only a sin to consent to them, to want them, or to act on them. We cannot control our emotions, so God does not judge us by them, only by how we deal with them. If you are just having* feelings *of envy and resentment, but are trying to push them out, then you are on the right track. Just pray that God will take them away every time you feel them.

Hope is really important for spiritual progress. If you fall into sin, don’t put yourself down so much. It doesn’t do you any good. That is how Satan keeps you where you are. Positive thoughts work wonders. Don’t focus on the evil that you do, but focus on the good that you could do in the future with God’s help. Is God so weak that he cannot help you out of the hole that you got yourself in? Of course not! God is all powerful, and helping people out of sin is one of His principle jobs! God died on the cross for that. Through the cross, and the sacrament of confession, there is tremendous hope!

You may say: “But I can’t go to confession if I don’t feel sorry”. Well the other poster is right in that you don’t have to feel sorry. You just have to be sorry. Being sorry and feeling sorry are two different things. Feeling sorry is in your emotions. As I said before, you can’t control your emotions, so God does not judge us by them. God judges us by our wills, which can be swayed by emotions, but do not have to be. Being sorry is in our wills. Being sorry is wishing you had not sinned. How do you know if you are being sorry? Ask yourself this: “if I were back there again, In the same situation when I committed the sin, would I do it again?” If you answer: “I would not”, then you wish you had not done it and, thus, are being sorry. “I would not” does not mean that you know for certain that your resolution would hold up under the temptation. It is a reflection of your will at the present, not under temptation. If you are sorry in this way and resolve not to commit the sin again in the future, then go to confession, be forgiven, and move on with a new hope. After all, once you’ve been to confession you would be in the state of grace, which means that if you died at that moment you would be saved! Is that not great hope?! With that hope, you will have new strength to conquer your vices, little by little, with God’s help.

If you fall again, simply go to confession and try again. God’s mercy is infinite. He will forgive us no matter how many times we sin. Also, don’t fuss over every little venial sin you commit. In fact, St. Francis DeSales says that we should only focus on eliminating one of our venial sins at a time. That is the most effective way. Of course, try not to commit any of your other venial sins as well, but just focus on correcting one at a time. We can never *be *perfect in this life, we should simply be ever becoming more perfect.

Two key things to remember out of all this: God does not judge you by your emotions, and It takes time to conquer your vices.

God bless.

P.S. If you are not even being sorry, then pray, pray, pray, and read about the lives of the saints, and books written by the saints, to get your head put on straight, so that you can see things the way God sees them. (I think you probably are being sorry, but I just thought I would cover all of the possibilities. Praying and spiritual reading are always good things to do anyway.)

 

[300WhiteKnights]

if you don’t believe that Jesus can forgive you then read these messages:
tlig.org

I have read them for years, and after careful discernment, have found them to be true. There is a lot of misinformation about these messages on the web, but they DO have an imprimatur and nihil obstat.

 

[BobCatholic]

You don’t have to “feel” anything. Feelings do not dictate truth.

One of the ways the devil gets a grip on us is when he talks us into putting the emotion on the throne. Jesus ain’t the boss, the emotions are. He is not the truth, emotions are.

Sometimes people are in shock and go numb. Sin works the same way. It makes us numb.

 

[kristos]

Thank you. A wise post indeed. I really hope god has not given up on me. But it feels like he is not even meeting me half way its like my sins have formed into this self defeating cycle. Ill try to describe it for you all. Probably the easiest to give up was the sex. (Ive been depressed for a while so I dont really desire it atm anyway. However it is tied into my self esteem. I feel as though its not fair that I should give up that ego boost while other people still do it. Especially the women. You see I partially blame women. I DO NOT want my girlfriend to have more sexual experience than me otherwise I will feel immascated. So far ive only had 4 sexual partners and im 23 soim behind the rest of my age group. So I blame women because no offense to the women on this forum but most women nowadays are trash. So thats one of these cycles that has developed. Another is that I feel as though I cannot relax if I try to observe the law. My anxiety goes haywire, I simply cannot enjoy life always being afraid not to eat too much or what movie im allowed to watch or what music im allowed to listen to. Furthermore I feel it is not fair that icant enjoy myself when MOST other catholics lived happy sinful lives in their youths and were only lucky enough to convert in their old age. It fills me with rage that god is demanding that I convert so early while he allowed his other children to have fun and relax.

I understand you. Sometimes it’s as if some of our cherished sins are an integral part of who we are, our identity. And let’s be perfectly honest here, these aren’t easy times to be Catholic, to be virtuous. Someone your age who is reasonably good-looking and self-confident will have no problem finding a very attractive girl to have sex with. Whenever i try to get serious with God, i feel overwhelmed by all the moral demands, i feel like i have to watch myself continuously, can’t even look at an attractive woman, can’t have one bite too many, sexual continence i find it unbearable and miserable. For many of us, i think the choice we have to make is this: comfort, ease and happiness down here, and eternal misery afterwards. Or depression, anxiety, inner and outer conflict, deep frustration for a good part of the 80 years/1000 months we are alllocated until we are judged. I think being a commited Christian entails a necessary and painful, sometimes very painful sacrifice. In our distorted culture, being a virgin at 21, 22 is possibly the easiest way to have lots of people lose all respect and consideration for you. If you do go to a movie and a sexual scene comes up, if you value chastity, you will need to look away, and people around you will notice. Some may start laughing and say, “You’re kidding , right?” The Christian walk is almost perfectly at odds with everything that is deemed desirable, cool, worthy, worthwhile etc. To many o fus, the path of least resistance looks enticing, whereas the path to Heaven is filled with rocks, it is steep, requires a constant effort.