I want a daughter! :'(

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Faith0

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Here is the scoop…Hubby and I have 4 sons and I’m on my 5th pregnancy with twins…They are boys, too. I’m already 35 weeks and feel grateful for so many wonderful things in my life. Before aynone begins to bash me about “well, there are many people who wish they had kids…” or “be grateful for what you have…” I just want to vent and say that I feel gender dissapointment…I mean 6 kids and all males…I can’t come to understand WHY? Yes, I’ve tried 4 times for a girl and they’ve all been boys. I love my boys and feel that I am not young anymore to keep trying for a girl. I like the idea of adopting a girl, but since I don’t have a problem with having children of my own (atleast up to now) I feel that I can keep trying…plus I’ve heard that it’ll probably be much harder to adopt specifically a girl, well I guess I can just keep trying for a girl…It’s frustrating…I was told they were boys since week 17 and that totally crushed me. I kind of got over it, but every once in a while it gets to me specially people’s comments “Oh! Not one girl?!” “All boys!?” :eek:

I see little girls everywhere except at home and often wonder…“How is that possible???” :confused:

Ok, you can bash me all you want now (I forgive you because you might not have a clue as to what I’m feeling since you might not have felt it before…EVER…), but no matter what happens, I will still want a girl always and forever if I never get to have one… 🤷

:’( It’s like a DREAM just died and I can’t bring it to life. I feel like I will never feel what it’s like to have a daughter…I’ve been mourning this since I found out the twins were boys…I love kids and love my boys, but I WANT A GIRL or 2…

P.s. I even went to confession for this and was told that it’s ok to question God once in a while…That he forgives us because he loves us and wants to make us understand someday WHY? why things happen :’(

Ok…there…I vented a bit…now I would like to read your wise comments (not hurtful ones).
 
Faith0 said:
Here is the scoop…Hubby and I have 4 sons and I’m on my 5th pregnancy with twins…They are boys, too. I’m already 35 weeks and feel grateful for so many wonderful things in my life. Before aynone begins to bash me about “well, there are many people who wish they had kids…” or “be grateful for what you have…” I just want to vent and say that I feel gender dissapointment…I mean 6 kids and all males…I can’t come to understand WHY? Yes, I’ve tried 4 times for a girl and they’ve all been boys. I love my boys and feel that I am not young anymore to keep trying for a girl. I like the idea of adopting a girl, but since I don’t have a problem with having children of my own (atleast up to now) I feel that I can keep trying…plus I’ve heard that it’ll probably be much harder to adopt specifically a girl, well I guess I can just keep trying for a girl…It’s frustrating…I was told they were boys since week 17 and that totally crushed me. I kind of got over it, but every once in a while it gets to me specially people’s comments “Oh! Not one girl?!” “All boys!?” :eek:

I see little girls everywhere except at home and often wonder…“How is that possible???” :confused:

Ok, you can bash me all you want now (I forgive you because you might not have a clue as to what I’m feeling since you might not have felt it before…EVER…), but no matter what happens, I will still want a girl always and forever if I never get to have one… 🤷

:’( It’s like a DREAM just died and I can’t bring it to life. I feel like I will never feel what it’s like to have a daughter…I’ve been mourning this since I found out the twins were boys…I love kids and love my boys, but I WANT A GIRL or 2…

P.s. I even went to confession for this and was told that it’s ok to question God once in a while…That he forgives us because he loves us and wants to make us understand someday WHY? why things happen :’(

Ok…there…I vented a bit…now I would like to read your wise comments (not hurtful ones).
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Well I’m not going to bash you but I do feel sad for you that you’ve been so blessed with many healthy children but still aren’t happy. Maybe your yearning for a daughter is Gods way of calling you to adopt a girl. I would caution against having more kids just for the sake of trying for a girl that seems a bit wrong to me especially with your track record of having boys only. I don’t understand the mindset of not adopting because you can still have your own. I was able to have my own but always planned to adopt if it was GODs will but finances have held me back I still hope to adopt one day regardless if I can have my own or not. I’m certain I could love any child just the same as a biological one. I’m not criticizing you just saying I don’t understand your mind set on the topic.

Do you have any nieces or God daughters you could spoil or borrow once in a while to get some girl time. I wanted 4 girls at one point but girls are really hard. I’ve heard boys are easier. I raised my sister from the age of 13 and I can say when they get into their teen girls can really be difficult. Boys are a little less complicated. If you gave me a choice of six boys or six girls not choice for me it would be the boys.
 
I think that you should look in to adoption. There are so many children that need homes and it is such a loving and noble thing to do. I can’t think of a downside.

I guess I don’t see adoption as the second-class choice. I don’t think that its something that should only be looked into if you can’t have “your own”. As soon as you adopt them and open your heart, they become yours in every way that counts.
 
I know families who have all girls, and that bothers Dad more than it bother Mom. It’s not just you, and it’s not superficial.

If you want information, there is circumstantial evidence on how to put the odds in your favor regarding gender. After 6 kids for me, the gender split does seem to fit the surveys out there. If you think you have the time window and ability for another child, compare the research to your NFP charts and go for it.

If that’s not what you had in mind, then all I can say is that God is doing this for your own good. It sounds unfair, and you may never see the proof of it, but whatever our circumstances are, God has our best interests in mind.

Prayers…:gopray2:
 
Luvz2travel said:
Well I’m not going to bash you but I do feel sad for you that you’ve been so blessed with many healthy children but still aren’t happy. Maybe your yearning for a daughter is Gods way of calling you to adopt a girl. I would caution against having more kids just for the sake of trying for a girl that seems a bit wrong to me especially with your track record of having boys only. I don’t understand the mindset of not adopting because you can still have your own. I was able to have my own but always planned to adopt if it was GODs will but finances have held me back I still hope to adopt one day regardless if I can have my own or not. I’m certain I could love any child just the same as a biological one. I’m not criticizing you just saying I don’t understand your mind set on the topic.

Do you have any nieces or God daughters you could spoil or borrow once in a while to get some girl time. I wanted 4 girls at one point but girls are really hard. I’ve heard boys are easier. I raised my sister from the age of 13 and I can say when they get into their teen girls can really be difficult. Boys are a little less complicated. If you gave me a choice of six boys or six girls not choice for me it would be the boys.
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Thanks for your response. I really liked it. I wish for more boys than girls, too. I don’t want to “keep trying” for the sake of having a girl. As for adopting, I do have it in mind, but heard that it is not as easy so I kind of keep that in the back burner. I do fantasize about maybe someday there will be a girl or two up for adoption (better if they are sisters…maybe twins). I am very happy with life and like I say, at times and specially when I hear those comments from people like today, I got to admit that it does get to me and makes me sad to know that out of 6 I don’t have one girl. I feel that I’m missing out on alot. It is unknown for me. I am an only child so I don’t have any nieces or nephews. I mean 6 boys and not one girl…Those comments make me feel probably as sad as a person who can not have any children at all because I not only love children and I not only have 1 or 2 but 6 and often wonder “what are the odds of getting HEADS six times in a row”. :confused: I know…nature, but wow! I even wow myself. I think I would’ve felt the same if they were all girls. To be honest, I don’t think I want to have more children or keep trying. I do have them all in extra curricular activities. I don’t have a paying job. I stay at home so I love always being there for every single one of them. I have a very supportive husband who has mentioned once or twice that he would’ve loved to have had a girl, too, but I am the one that feels it more…I feel almost left out. It’s a girl thing I guess. The priest of my parish has suggested adopting and we are considering it, but it might just never happen since we haven’t even tried finding out what we need to do simply because we know that it’s not easy. :o
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I think that you should look in to adoption. There are so many children that need homes and it is such a loving and noble thing to do. I can’t think of a downside.

I guess I don’t see adoption as the second-class choice. I don’t think that its something that should only be looked into if you can’t have “your own”. As soon as you adopt them and open your heart, they become yours in every way that counts.
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Oh no…I don’t see it as a second class choice either, but we got to admit that children require lots of love and attention and I really never imagined myself having 6 children and much less all the same gender. I still would love to adopt and even if its another boy or 2, but still wanting to try to experience the unknown…and that is to have A DAUGHTER. 😃
 
Children or not, boys or girls, I think it is best if we focus solely on what God wants. After all, even “our own” children are conceived first to build up God’s Kingdom and not just our families. I would step back and count your blessings.

What about the twin Priests that you may be carrying?
 
I have 4 girls. Opposite situation, but my husband couldn’t care less. He doesn’t want to try for any more, but I do wonder if we were meant to have a son. Sometimes I think about trying for a boy–we aren’t trying, but if one happens to come along, that’d be cool too.

But the conclusions I’ve come to (because even if we had another, it’d probably be a girl) are these:
  1. God knows us better than we know ourselves. When I was young, I thought I’d have a house full of fun-loving, wild boys. And here I have none. Four pregnancies and not a single boy. So I decided that for some reason, God needed me to raise girls. Maybe I’d do a terrible job with boys, or maybe I’m particularly talented with girls. But it makes me feel good to frame our situation as us having a “specialty” rather than just dumb ol’ chance that we only have girls.
  2. It’s now my little bit of celebrity. We are the crew of girls. I’ve decided that it is fun. Sure, I roll my eyes when people say words of pity to my husband (“Oh, you never got your son?”), but he truly doesn’t get people’s obsession with gender. He comes from a huge family–there are plenty of people to carry on the family name. He is really happy with his girls.
  3. Eventually, I’ll get my boys. Whether they are my sons-in-law or my grandchildren, I’ll have a house full of boys sooner or later. I’ve spent time watching happy, functional families and what I notice is the joy that grandparents have welcoming more and more people into the family. It kind of got me to stop thinking that our 4 girls were the end of our family–they are merely the beginning!
So, I know there is sadness–things you won’t experience. But whenever we meet opposite families like yours (all boys as opposed to our all girls) my husband always tells them, “That’s great! We need good people raising honorable young men for our daughters!” So, thank you. Thank you for all those families raising those wonderful boys…our girls will need them some day.
 
ahollars said:
I know families who have all girls, and that bothers Dad more than it bother Mom. It’s not just you, and it’s not superficial.

If you want information, there is circumstantial evidence on how to put the odds in your favor regarding gender. After 6 kids for me, the gender split does seem to fit the surveys out there. If you think you have the time window and ability for another child, compare the research to your NFP charts and go for it.

If that’s not what you had in mind, then all I can say is that God is doing this for your own good. It sounds unfair, and you may never see the proof of it, but whatever our circumstances are, God has our best interests in mind.

Prayers…:gopray2:
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Yep, I’m one of five, all girls.

My parents gave me the female version of Dad’s name as my middle name, but all my life I have often heard him enumerate the advantages of having daughters and never complain.

Perhaps it will just take a little time for you to see the pluses of having all boys?
 
I think you should talk with your husband about adoption. Somewhere, there is a little girl who is saying, “I want a mama!” The six brothers might make it a harder sell though.🤷
 
Faith0 said:
Here is the scoop…Hubby and I have 4 sons and I’m on my 5th pregnancy with twins…They are boys, too. I’m already 35 weeks and feel grateful for so many wonderful things in my life. Before aynone begins to bash me about “well, there are many people who wish they had kids…” or “be grateful for what you have…” I just want to vent and say that I feel gender dissapointment…I mean 6 kids and all males…I can’t come to understand WHY? Yes, I’ve tried 4 times for a girl and they’ve all been boys. I love my boys and feel that I am not young anymore to keep trying for a girl. I like the idea of adopting a girl, but since I don’t have a problem with having children of my own (atleast up to now) I feel that I can keep trying…plus I’ve heard that it’ll probably be much harder to adopt specifically a girl, well I guess I can just keep trying for a girl…It’s frustrating…I was told they were boys since week 17 and that totally crushed me. I kind of got over it, but every once in a while it gets to me specially people’s comments “Oh! Not one girl?!” “All boys!?” :eek:

I see little girls everywhere except at home and often wonder…“How is that possible???” :confused:

Ok, you can bash me all you want now (I forgive you because you might not have a clue as to what I’m feeling since you might not have felt it before…EVER…), but no matter what

happens, I will still want a girl always and forever if I never get to have one… 🤷

:’( It’s like a DREAM just died and I can’t bring it to life. I feel like I will never feel what it’s like to have a daughter…I’ve been mourning this since I found out the twins were boys…I love kids and love my boys, but I WANT A GIRL or 2…

P.s. I even went to confession for this and was told that it’s ok to question God once in a while…That he forgives us because he loves us and wants to make us understand someday WHY? why things happen :’(

Ok…there…I vented a bit…now I would like to read your wise comments (not hurtful ones).
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I have three daughters.Mybfirst grandchild is a boy.Sooo,there is always the possibility that you will have a granddaughter someday;)
 
I do know how you are feeling. I had three sons and prayed daily for a daughter. All I could think about was ponytails and dresses, long curls, big beautiful eyes, tea parties and baby dolls. When I finally did have my precious daughter I was ecstatic!!! That is until she screamed nonstop for the first nine months of her life, won’t, to this day, let me touch her straight as a stick hair, only wears bluejeans, HATES tea parties and baby dolls and only dreams of being a cowgirl. Her name is Estefany Grace, but she only answers to Stevie. We now have 5 boys and 2 Tomboys. I found out I actually much prefer raising boys. The girls are twice as hyper as the boys, fight meaner and hold grudges. I do love them and they are a perfect fit for our family. Just not the way I dreamed about. Waiting to see what this monkey (due Feb. 24) will be like. Not even sure if this one is a girl or a boy. Either way it will be loud, messy, hyper and stubborn just like the rest.
 
7armyrugrats said:
I do know how you are feeling. I had three sons and prayed daily for a daughter. All I could think about was ponytails and dresses, long curls, big beautiful eyes, tea parties and baby dolls. When I finally did have my precious daughter I was ecstatic!!! That is until she screamed nonstop for the first nine months of her life, won’t, to this day, let me touch her straight as a stick hair, only wears bluejeans, HATES tea parties and baby dolls and only dreams of being a cowgirl. Her name is Estefany Grace, but she only answers to Stevie. We now have 5 boys and 2 Tomboys. I found out I actually much prefer raising boys. The girls are twice as hyper as the boys, fight meaner and hold grudges. I do love them and they are a perfect fit for our family. Just not the way I dreamed about. Waiting to see what this monkey (due Feb. 24) will be like. Not even sure if this one is a girl or a boy. Either way it will be loud, messy, hyper and stubborn just like the rest.
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This made me chuckle…LOL…I’ve thought of this and the what if…I even accepted the fact that if I ever had a little girl that I would enjoy at the most (if lucky) 3 years of ribbons, ruffles, pink, dresses, dolls, etc…(i.e., the first 3 years of her life) because I wonder if she would turn into a tomboy or something like that. 😃
 
po18guy said:
Children or not, boys or girls, I think it is best if we focus solely on what God wants. After all, even “our own” children are conceived first to build up God’s Kingdom and not just our families. I would step back and count your blessings.

What about the twin Priests that you may be carrying?
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Yes, I do wonder what is in store for us. Since I don’t know now, that is why I feel this way (at times). I look forward to finding out someday the “why all boys…”. I do wish for atleast one of my boys to go into Priesthood. That would be beautiful. 🙂
 
I have six brothers! I found a letter my dad wrote to my mom when she was pregnant, and he said he was praying she had twin baby girls!

My husband and I have built our family through adoption. We were chosen before the babies were born. I was totally excited to have a daughter first. That was my dream. Maybe silly to others, but it was just something I truely wanted. The second time I was hoping for a boy. We had a boy, and guess what? It turns out a lot of times the girls, as they get older, push a way from mom, and connect more to dad, or boyfriends. My son, is a sweet heart, and we’ve always been close, even through the teen years. He never shut me out or got so moody that he was unpleasant to be around. Moms & boys have special relationships! I’m just lovin it!

If you truely want a girl, I would do a novena, and check out NFP. I know timing can greatly increase chances of having a girl. Just be prepared, she may not wanna wear a dress or do girly things! Ha!

May God bless your family!
 
i’m going to offer a practical idea…this is in NO WAY medical advice… i have a cousin who’s husband comes from 17 boys. she and he had 6 themselves. she also desperately wanted a girl and did a LOT of research about diet related to gender.

literature out there, research studies conducted by reproductive MD’s, who believe that a woman’s pre-conception diet can influence gender. it has to do with acid/alkyline balances and hostility of the female environment…i can’t and won’t offer “medical advice”, but truly, read up on it…

i am also a HUGE adoption advocate, having an adopted child myself. not a bad suggestion, but adoption has to come from a special place within you to truly be called to it by God, not necessarily because you want to choose gender. keep in mind that most adoption agencies don’t let you choose gender either. our catholic agency didn’t give us a choice at all, stating that all agencies in their network want the adoption to be as close to what God would want for them through an actual pregnancy…good luck!
 
Faith0 said:
Here is the scoop…Hubby and I have 4 sons and I’m on my 5th pregnancy with twins…They are boys, too. I’m already 35 weeks and feel grateful for so many wonderful things in my life. Before aynone begins to bash me about “well, there are many people who wish they had kids…” or “be grateful for what you have…” I just want to vent and say that I feel gender dissapointment…I mean 6 kids and all males…I can’t come to understand WHY? Yes, I’ve tried 4 times for a girl and they’ve all been boys. I love my boys and feel that I am not young anymore to keep trying for a girl. I like the idea of adopting a girl, but since I don’t have a problem with having children of my own (atleast up to now) I feel that I can keep trying…plus I’ve heard that it’ll probably be much harder to adopt specifically a girl, well I guess I can just keep trying for a girl…It’s frustrating…I was told they were boys since week 17 and that totally crushed me. I kind of got over it, but every once in a while it gets to me specially people’s comments “Oh! Not one girl?!” “All boys!?” :eek:

I see little girls everywhere except at home and often wonder…“How is that possible???” :confused:

Ok, you can bash me all you want now (I forgive you because you might not have a clue as to what I’m feeling since you might not have felt it before…EVER…), but no matter what happens, I will still want a girl always and forever if I never get to have one… 🤷

:’( It’s like a DREAM just died and I can’t bring it to life. I feel like I will never feel what it’s like to have a daughter…I’ve been mourning this since I found out the twins were boys…I love kids and love my boys, but I WANT A GIRL or 2…

P.s. I even went to confession for this and was told that it’s ok to question God once in a while…That he forgives us because he loves us and wants to make us understand someday WHY? why things happen :’(

Ok…there…I vented a bit…now I would like to read your wise comments (not hurtful ones).
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This might make you feel a wee bit better…

The Garcia-Prats sons

10 boys, all single births. No twins. :eek:

That photo is out of date now because Timmy graduated last May, he was in my son’s class.

A nicer family you could never hope to meet and know. Concentrate on raising sons for the Kingdom of God and you will reap the benefits when you have daughters-in-law!
 
hopeful3542 said:
My husband comes from a family of six boys and like yours the last two were twin boys. All my mother-in-law wanted was a little girl and she kept trying for one until the twins came along. She was very vocal about her desire for a daughter and it left my husband and his brothers with emotional wounds (I am not saying that this is what you are doing), I am just cautioning you. Even your statement “I’ve tried 4 times for a girl and they’ve all been boys” has the potential of hurting your boys, if they ever heard it. You also mentioned that you were “crushed” when you found out that your twins were boys. Please, please, please don’t EVER let your children here this. It will crush them. If your third child had been a girl, would you have kept “trying” for more children? If you adopted a little girl would you favor (even unconsciously) her over your boys? These are things to carefully and prayerfully think about.
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:sad_bye::imsorry:

This is so true. I heard all the time about how I was “supposed to be a boy,” and what my name was going to be. I felt like I had disappointed my father because he got me.
 
I am a mom of one son. I have always wanted a little girl, like you. We didn’t know our son was a boy until they said “it’s a boy!” when he was born. I had a millisecond of “darn” promptly followed by “let me see him!” and so much love it was amazing. 🙂

So I do get it; that desire for a girl. However - please, please - pray and pray for the ability to let it go. And thank God everyday for all your babies. Because after God gave us our amazing son, He also gave us unexplained secondary infertility. 10 1/2 years after the birth of our son, I don’t care what He would give us; I’d just be over the moon to be pregnant.
 
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