I want a daughter! :'(

[tabycat]

:sad_bye::imsorry:

This is so true. I heard all the time about how I was “supposed to be a boy,” and what my name was going to be. I felt like I had disappointed my father because he got me.

When my Dad told his father that he had a granddauther, my Dad was told to ‘go back and check to make sure’ that I was a girl! Of course, Grandpa already had four grandsons and his side the sons had sons as first born for four generations, until I came along. I did a alot of ‘boy things’ growing up, like helping my dad fix his cars.

 

[7armyrugrats]

I am a mom of one son. I have always wanted a little girl, like you. We didn’t know our son was a boy until they said “it’s a boy!” when he was born. I had a millisecond of “darn” promptly followed by “let me see him!” and so much love it was amazing.

So I do get it; that desire for a girl. However - please, please - pray and pray for the ability to let it go. And thank God everyday for all your babies. Because after God gave us our amazing son, He also gave us unexplained secondary infertility. 10 1/2 years after the birth of our son, I don’t care what He would give us; I’d just be over the moon to be pregnant.

I am praying for you. I do understand to a small degree. Our first two are 5 years apart, then had six more plus 7 miscarriages in 9 years, then 4 years not able to conceive again. We miscarried again and now are expecting a much prayed for baby. Only God knows why life works how it does. Hope one day to understand

 

[AveMaria5]

I can fully understand your feelings. They are just that… feelings. You still accept these children from God but you can’t always help the feelings of disappointment. One day you may understand why God gave you 6 boys, but I wouldn’t beat yourself up because you’re disappointed. I know how you feel… you desperately want to enjoy the pregnancy but it is hard when you wanted a girl so badly.
I have 3 girls and 2 boys… i must say, my boys are easier.

I would just pray for peace and acceptance of God’s will. It isnt easy sometimes.

God bless you

 

[Kelfa28]

Grandchildren are awesome!

You have so many children and have that much more of a chance to have loads of grandchildren to love and dote upon. That increases the odds of having a granddaughter.

My parents were blessed with two girls. Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t have anymore kids after that. My dad did want a boy.

They were blessed with their very first grandchild and she was my daughter.

However, my sister is pregnant and just found out she is having a…boy!

We are all excited!

 

[EasterJoy]

My mother-in-law only had sons. She taught them to cook and to do everything around the house that she would have taught a daughter…and boy, did her daughters-in-law love her for that!! She treated us like her own daughters, too, and we loved her as if she were a second mother to us.

She lived with us (my husband and me) when she got up in years, and honestly, it was much easier than if she had been my own mother. So while you might not have the relationship you could have had with daughters of your own, you may get grown-up daughters and relationships that wouldn’t have been possible with daughters of your own.

With that many sons, it’s pretty likely you’ll get some daughters-in-law, so bring up those sons of yours to treat women right…as in, “I’m not going to face your wife not having taught you to do so-and-so…I want you to be a good husband, so your wife will know I thought ahead to love my daughter-in-law, too!” It will pay off!!

 

[Faith0]

This might make you feel a wee bit better…

The Garcia-Prats sons

10 boys, all single births. No twins.

That photo is out of date now because Timmy graduated last May, he was in my son’s class.

A nicer family you could never hope to meet and know. Concentrate on raising sons for the Kingdom of God and you will reap the benefits when you have daughters-in-law!

Wow! Sweet!

 

[Faith0]

I am praying for you. I do understand to a small degree. Our first two are 5 years apart, then had six more plus 7 miscarriages in 9 years, then 4 years not able to conceive again. We miscarried again and now are expecting a much prayed for baby. Only God knows why life works how it does. Hope one day to understand

So true…hubby says “call me crazy, buy I dont think we are done having children…” I am 36 and hubby is 40.

 

[Faith0]

Grandchildren are awesome!

You have so many children and have that much more of a chance to have loads of grandchildren to love and dote upon. That increases the odds of having a granddaughter.

My parents were blessed with two girls. Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t have anymore kids after that. My dad did want a boy.

They were blessed with their very first grandchild and she was my daughter.

However, my sister is pregnant and just found out she is having a…boy!

We are all excited!

How wonderful! I was hoping for girls too…I guess also because family and friends were hoping for the same…

 

[EasterJoy]

So true…hubby says “call me crazy, buy I dont think we are done having children…” I am 36 and hubby is 40.

I know families with seven or ten children who had another addition eight or even ten years after the last one. The mothers were in their mid-40s. You never know, especially if not through menopause by a year.

 

[SElizabeth]

We have 5 sons and adopted a daughter through a foreign country 21 years ago. We now have 4 daughters in law (who feel like real daughters), and 5 grand daughters, so we ended up getting lots of daughters. We also have 6 grand sons! Everything will work out like God wants it to!!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

When my Dad told his father that he had a granddauther, my Dad was told to ‘go back and check to make sure’ that I was a girl! Of course, Grandpa already had four grandsons and his side the sons had sons as first born for four generations, until I came along. I did a alot of ‘boy things’ growing up, like helping my dad fix his cars.

:bigyikes:

I wonder where Grandpa thought a baby could be hiding “it…” LOL

Yeah, well my Dad did the best he could, while not having a boy…I learned how to change a tire, change the oil in the car, hammer a nail, etc.

 

[robwar]

You are pretty lucky to be able to have 6 children anyway. There are alot of women out there that have been praying for one child, never mind the sex or can’t have their own biological children so I guess I’m not so sympathetic. Sometimes we need to be careful what we wish for. the people I’ve known who seem to get stuck on girls seem to have some sort of fantasy of fluffy pink girlie dress-up etc. After 2 boys, we adopted our girl and she has been more of a handful than two boys! She is not the girlie girl and a total rock-um sock-um all sports and very athletic. It seems like a fantasy for people to desire girls to have some sort of live doll. In adoption, girls are more requested than boys and some agencies have waiting lists for families that want girls. Why don’t you honestly look at what you are dreaming of in having a daughter because even if you ever have one, she might not live up to your vision of what your daughter will be like or the type of relationship you might have with her. I love having my tom-boy daughter and wouldn’t trade her for any fluffy girlie girl but I was open to what God wanted and not my fantasy of a girl.

 

[KellyPalmer]

I understand a little bit how you feel. People who have never experienced gender disappointment may not be able to understand how it feels. I just want to offer you my support and prayers. Regardless of how one should feel, this sadness is very real. It’s not healthy to stuff it inside. I’m sure you don’t speak of these feelings in front of your sons. But if you are like me, you’ve probably had other people make inappropriate comments in front of them. Strangers will come up to me and make comments in front of my sons and question whether I will keep trying for a girl, as if my boys are merely failed attempts at the daughter I want. I immediately correct them and reassure my boys how wanted they are.

I only have 3 boys but had gender disappointment with each. It was pretty mild with the first 2 but severe with the 3rd. In between, I lost a baby half way through the pregnancy and she was a girl. Took my husband and sons with me to the big gender reveal ultrasound and found out my baby no longer had a heartbeat. My only daughter and she was already gone. Now people say I should not care about the sex after experiencing a loss but it was the opposite. When I found out my next baby was another boy, it felt like I was reliving her death all over again.

For me, it’s not about pink or frills…I’m not very girly myself. But as Catholics we know there are big differences between males and females and I have always longed for a daughter. I always wanted both daughters and sons, a big family. We hope to blessed with more but my husband and I both have fertility problems and are also getting older. Plus I had a repeat of the complication that killed my daughter with the next pregnancy. Had to have surgery in the second trimester to save my son’s life. The complication causes a lot of difficulty in pregnancy, many trips to the ER and chance of death for both baby and me. And it will probably continue with any future pregnancy I may be blessed with.

I’ve e researched swaying extensively but even the ladies on in-gender don’t fare much better than 50/50. Shettles work has been debunked by science. It’s not true about male and female sperm having different speeds or living longer than the other. I tried some of the swaying methods anyway but couldn’t conceive with them so I gave it up.

Sorry to go on and on. I’ll end by saying that God has given me peace. I no longer feel the sadness and the thought of having many more boys makes me happy – even if there are no daughters. I’m sure it will still sting for a moment if I ever am blessed wih more boys but I am confident that Christ will see me through and bring me joy. I know He will for you to. Still its ok to feel sad, work through it - don’t bury it. It’s ok to long for a daughter. I hope it helped at least a little to share your feelings here with us. Lean on your Holy Mother!!

 

[KellyPalmer]

Also just wanted to add that I dream of having twin girls. I think this is a common dream for moms with 3+ boys b/c it allows a family to be blessed with more than one daughter which seems an impossible task for a couple that seem to only produce girls. And having 2 at once feels like it would up the odds that at least one would be a girl. It also lowers the odds that id end up having more babies in the near future. I know that if I found out I was having twins, my hope for a girl would be magnified times 10. Which would mean my disappointment that at least one was not a girl would be magnified times 10 too.

 

[Viki63]

You might consider foster adoption. After raising 2 boys on my own, I married again and we adopted 2, a boy and a girl.
I love my adopted children as much as the biokids, absolutely. And foster adoption was not difficult and doesn’t really cost anything, though of course foster children come with baggage. Our daughter was 10 months old when she came to us. There are too many infants in foster care. I am so happy we have her, I would hate to think of her being bounced from foster home to foster home all her life.
She’s 16 now. All that said, I have to say boys are much easier than girls. She knows how to push all my buttons. She sometimes locks herself in her room and won’t come out except to criticize me. It’s work, and I’m not very successful at it. I know she will be all right in the end, she still goes to church with me, and does very well in school, but there are daily struggles.
And we had about 2 years of frilly pretty clothes, now she won’t be caught in a dress except once when she went to a dance with her best friend.
Boys seem much more relaxed and laid back, even when they’re misbehaving.
I do wish I could have had more children though. They keep us young.
I should mention that my older boys, the biokids, absolutely love the younger ones. Adoption was never an issue. They all get along great.

 

[Sillara]

My darling and I have six children, too. They are all girls. I figured a boy would have been nice a few kids ago, but by the time the last ones were coming along, I figured it was just as well to have them all the same kind. They can share toys and clothes, and I know how to deal with them now.

I figure I can wait for boys until some or the other of the girls get married.

 

[Lucky7]

You’re right. I don’t understand. Probably because I can’t have a boy or a girl and you have been pregnant 5 times already. You likewise probably can’t understand how a post like yours upsets me and others like me.

However, I do pray that you accept the blessings God has given you and His Will for you. We both can relate to the need to accept God’s Will for us.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

When I found out my next baby was another boy, it felt like I was reliving her death all over again.

I really, really hope that your son doesn’t know that. That statement pretty much flies in the face of what you said earlier about how you always reassure your sons that they’re wanted and not just failed attempts at girls. Or is that just something you tell them but you don’t really believe yourself?

I cannot understand people who look at their 4, 5, or 6+ kids and feel anything but love and gratitude for the large, loving, and healthy family that they already have. Mourning not having a child of ___________ gender in those circumstances strikes me as selfish and ungrateful. You should NEVER take your family for granted.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Also, I have six nieces and no nephews. My SIL had four daughters from a previous marriage and married my brother, who had two daughters. She had always thought it would be nice to have a son, but when she ended up with a man who has two girls, all she could do was laugh.

 

[Mrs_V]

You have a right to your feelings, and you have a right to vent them. I hope you feel a little better now. Anyone offended by your words should not have clicked on the thread in the first place. I would echo what others have said and pray to God to be thankful for the beautiful blessings He has given. He knows best.:hug1: