I want to become a born again Catholic, but I feel like I won't be welcomed

[0331]

If you want to understand what you disagree with, do all the reading about that stuff you can…and pray for understanding! God will give you this gift if you ask for it and open
yourself to His will.

Go to Confession, too!

 

[Hello_katie]

I’ll do that! And I’m definitely going to confession, it’s been years

 

[0331]

Prepare for a weight to be taken off your shoulders! And the more you go the easier it gets. Grace has a way of working like that!

 

[Theo520]

The church isn’t going to change for you.

If anything perhaps you should explore Church teachings on these issues.

Take pro-choice. If you think taking a life is a sin, then why exclude life when it is first created.
You can think it’s a sin and also recognize that it is legal. Many sins are legal.

I think the as you study and understand understands Church teachings, you will discover they still make sense.

 

[phil19034]

Thanks I’ll check it out

Katie,
Instead of checking out another denomination, perhaps it would be better to understand why the Church teaches what she teaches.

Each of these subjects is really an issue to themselves, so it’s hard for us to provide one answer.

Let me start with 2 easy ones “traditional gender roles within marriage” and saying bad words.

1. I’ve met priests and Sisters who talk like a dirty sailor. Bad words are not always sinful, sometimes they are just impolite. The sin is taking The Lord’s name in vain.
2. regarding gender roles in marriage - this really isn’t an issue for Catholics in real life. The Traditional gender roles is for husbands to “obey” their husband and for husband to love their wives. While “obey” has been abused plenty by men, it’s typically regarding two issues:

• life and death situations. While there are exceptions, generally it is the husband’s job to risk his life to protect his family in a life and death situation. Generally, husbands & wives should come to decisions together; however, in life and death situations (which were far more commonplace 2000 years ago) there isn’t time for debate. One spouse must take charge and the other must defer. Typically (though there are exceptions), in those situations, the husband takes charge.
• the 2nd is where their weakness often is. Husbands are called to love their wives just as Jesus loves the Church. Husbands fail when they don’t really love their wives. How many doomed or missable marriages are because the wife realizes that she loves her husband far more than he loves her. Or that she realizes that he loves money, power, etc more than her? Wives are called to obey their husbands because how many broken marriages are a result of wife doing things behind her husband’s back? I know I watched my mom & grandmother do that many times. In broken marriages it comes to the point where the husband feels his wife doesn’t respect him as a spouse because she constantly doesn’t respect his view, wishes, etc.

In other words: women are hurt when they feel that their husband love someone / somethings more than her. While men are hurt when they feel that their wives don’t respect them and do things behind their backs.

I pray this helps for 2 of your concerns

 

[Miserere.mei]

Dear Katie,
I became a Christian at the age of 38. When it was time to find a church, I knew in my heart that I was going to end up Catholic, but I was from an extremely liberal background, so there were a whole bunch of church teachings I didn’t believe yet.but even then I somehow knew that someday I would. Several years later, after much prayer, I finally came to believe that the Catholic Church is TRUE. I understood that in those areas that I didn’t agree, it was my lack of understanding… not that the church was wrong. I think if you speak to a priest, he might be able to help you. But it sounds like you already know that you are being called back to the church. I think if you pray that God will help you understand the love that is behind the teachings, He will show you. I pray for that for you!! God bless you my little sister!

 

[twf]

The Church, like Christ, meets people where they’re at. I find it a very distasteful evangelization tactic to discourage those who are asking questions from exploring… the very fact that the OP is feeling a draw is 100% proof that the Holy Spirit is working on her.

 

[twf]

To put things in perspective, I would say that cursing (if by this you mean swear words) is the least serious issue on your list. Rarely would cursing be a mortal sin unless you are truly cursing someone or deliberately profaning the Lord’s name. The most serious issue on your list would be abortion. The Church considers the deliberate taking of a human life murder whether in the womb or outside it.

 

[blackforest]

Anyway, despite these beliefs, can I still re-become a Catholic or is it pointless?

It isn’t pointless, but it will come with some soul-searching.

I came into the Church with similar struggles. In a way, I felt like I was sold a false package.
At RCIA I head, “Meh! Don’t worry about it! Faith is a journey. You’ll sort through it all.” But at the other end of the RCIA tunnel: “THE MAGISTERIUM TEACHES X, Y, AND Z. Believe it or else!!” I sometimes attend the Episcopal Church because their approach encourages more critical thinking. But there is still the feeling that Something inexplicable is missing, so I remain in a tension-heavy relationship with the Catholic Church.

My strongest suggestion would be to speak over your concerns in confidence with a priest or deacon. Ask candidly if you could become a Catholic given who you are and what you believe. If you need any follow-up, feel free to PM me.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Thanks I’ll check it out

I seriously hope someone didn’t suggest that you “try another denomination” on here. Proselytizing for non-Catholic religions is against the forum terms of service. I presume that the post (which if I’m reading the thread right, was by a non-Catholic) has been removed. That to me is really reprehensible behavior, trying to lead a Catholic who maybe wants to return to the church further away from the faith.

Katie, I haven’t responded substantively to your issues on this thread because as several people including me have mentioned, each of them is a thread unto themselves. For example, you saying you believe in “LGBT rights” could mean all sorts of things. Obviously it’s one thing if you simply believe LGBT people deserve to be treated with dignity and kindness; that’s also what the Church teaches. It’s something else if you believe they should be able to get married in the Catholic Church; that’s not what the Church teaches. In addition, Catholics themselves have a wide variety of viewpoints on this particular issue for a lot of reasons. Some Catholics state that they themselves have same sex attraction or are LGBT themselves. Some Catholics have a close friend or family member who is LGBT. Some Catholics simply have a lot of exposure to LGBT people and some do not. Some Catholics agree with the writings of Fr. James Martin and some vehemently disagree.

What I am getting from your posts, Katie, is that you have a very limited exposure to the world of Catholicism, don’t really understand the teachings, and have based your understanding of it on the small subset of Catholics you know from whatever parish you attended.

I completely agree with Phil that you need to at least learn the basics if you’re truly interested in maybe coming back to the faith. Running around to other denominations is only going to muddy the waters, especially since those denominations will want to “recruit” you themself and may tell you all sorts of things about what they think Catholics believe that are likely dead wrong.

I suggested you watch some of Fr. MIke’s videos because they’re directed at young people, they’re short and to the point. I would reiterate that suggestion.

 

[sj1611]

Dear Hello_katie,

You wrote:

I am pro-choice. I also curse, which through this website I learned is a mortal sin apparently!? I don’t masturbation is bad, and am quite confused how it’s considered a sin. I support lgbt rights. And I really have an issue with the traditional gender roles that I see being perpetuated between a husband and wife.

I honestly don’t see any of this as an impediment to you walking in faith with the Catholic Church.

The fact that you are posting on this site and asking these questions suggests to me that the Holy Spirit is working within you and drawing you back to the Church. It also suggests to me that, deep down, you know and understand at the level of faith, that you belong in the Church. Great. Start there. Christ will walk with you, even though your knowledge and understanding of many aspects of the faith, at this early stage, is in it’s nascency. When the risen Christ encountered the disciples on the road to Emmaus, they had an extremely limited understanding. In fact, they had no idea who He was. That didn’t stop Him from walking with them, on their journey, at their pace. He will walk with you on your journey, at your pace.

I also would encourage you not to exaggerate the significance of your stated beliefs as obstacles to life in the Church. Believing in “LGBT rights”, for example, is certainly not antithetical to true Catholic faith. I would argue that the recognition of fundamental human rights is inherent in the Catholic concept of humanity. There is likely to be some divergence in the analysis of which particular civil rights you believe should be recognised by law, but this is getting into political territory in respect of which there is likely to a range of political views represented within the Church. Others have commented in respect of “gender roles”.

Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of beliefs about the various issues you’ve highlighted, I can promise you that you are and will be welcome in the Church. The Church is the mystical body of Christ. As Christ loves you and wants you to live life in Him, you cannot but be welcome as a member of His mystical body.

God bless you and welcome.

 

[TTLE127]

Speak to your local Catholic priest for more clarification, and as @0331 said, go to Confession! We are all called to be Catholic and God LOVES YOU! He will forgive you and your past choices/mistakes. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.

As far as abortion: Remember, you’re mother didn’t abort you, and that’s why you are even here on this fourm right now.

 

[mcq72]

Anyway, despite these beliefs, can I still re-become a Catholic or is it pointless? I’m willing to bend on some of my beliefs, but a lot are set in stone.

From what I understand you are still a Catholic, however only what you have done since your last confessional determines if you are in a state of grace or not.

Bending beliefs is one thing, living them out is another. So being pro choice or pro gay is one thing, but having abortions or having an immoral sexual lifestyle is another thing.

I am curious why thread heading says you want to be “a born again Catholic”. I did not know there was any other kind, from a Catholic teaching perspective.

Either way, you need a personal encounter with Jesus, preferably at Calvary, to see how He died for your stony, obstinate, even blind heart. ( like the rest of us)

He is a Spirit and quite alive, and is willing to supper with anyone who is willing to open the door and let Him in. He first comes with forgiveness, primarily for unbelief. Then to those who ask He bestows belief, that you are His and He is yours.

I could say more from my Catholic Protestant perspective, and did but deleted it not wanting to seem prosylityzing per CAF rules ( i thought it was ok being a non catholic thread till i saw a post suggesting the rules , to encourage your desire to be Catholic). Hopefully my post was universal enough to that end…Blessings

 

[mcq72]

seriously hope someone didn’t suggest that you “try another denomination” on here. Proselytizing for non-Catholic religions is against the forum terms of service. I presume that the post (which if I’m reading the thread right, was by a non-Catholic) has been removed. That to me is really reprehensible behavior, trying to lead a Catholic who maybe wants to return to the church further away from the faith.

So then is this thread in right place ? I thought it wad started by Hello Katie post #1
Are you suggesting only Catholic solutions can be shared, no Orthodox or Protestant advice given?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

We have a Catholic saying she wants to be a Catholic, and a poster who is generally critical of the Catholic Church suggesting she join another church.

I don’t think the thread is in the right category since this is a thread about wanting to be a Catholic. She didn’t say she wants to check out a bunch of non-Catholic religions. However, new posters often put their threads in the wrong categories - they tend to just post wherever they happen to be at the moment the mood strikes them, they may not even realize the forum has categories. I would say a majority of new threads by new posters on here are not put in the right categories.

I get tired of always being the one to ask that threads be moved and sometimes people complain when you bring that up, so I didn’t say anything in this case. Normally non-Catholic religions is for discussing comparative religions, but because the OP doesn’t seem to want to do that, I think it’s a bit underhanded for someone to tell her to try a faith other than Catholic.

 

[mcq72]

Thank you… I amended my post. I think the suggestion to become “Episcopalian” by a poster was being facetious, or perhaps mockingly due to Episcopalian liberal views, such views that the original thread starter has at the moment. That is how I took it, but i do know tje poster as you do…thanks ahain.

 

[njlisa]

When you’re in doubt, act as if you believe. Right belief will follow right action. We don’t have to be perfect to come to Jesus. He meets us wherever we are, just as the father met his Prodigal Son when he was fresh out of the pig sty. Thank God for that.

Simply say to the Blessed Mother, “Lead me to your Son.” And that’s what she does best of all.

God bless you on your spiritual journey.

 

[njlisa]

I agree with the change of forum. It should be moved to Catholic Living Spirituality forum.

 

[joyfulandactive]

Rather than “becoming” a Catholic you clearly are one already in terms of membership and receiving the sacraments. What you are missing is catechisis (teaching) and the lived experience of a faith that is alive. You mentioned “born-again” are you comfortable with the Charismatic movement in other churches? You will also find Charismatics within the Catholic church and all those I have known are also very devout generally and understand and know their faith really well. If you are unfamiliar with the Charismatic movement it is a movement in response to the Holy Spirit in churches worldwide. A Catholic Charismatic prayer group can be a great place to reenter the church as they will be warm and welcoming, excited to have you with them and willing to take time to help you learn more.

Where are you living? If you are in the USA in a big city or near a college campus you may find a Newman Center. These are Catholic parishes and communities set up with the express intention of serving the local (secular) university. They therefore have LOTS of experience working with young adults who are right where you are now, in terms of relationship with the church and Jesus. Everyone is welcome and as well as the university population, Newman Centers frequently serve the local young adults who are now working and pursuing careers in the area. They will get together frequently socialize/fellowship, have teaching and retreats. Did you have experience of a Newman Center in the past?

 

[thistle]

Oh yeah, sorry. I am 22 years old, and I was baptised a Catholic, received my first communion and confirmation

If you are a baptised Catholic you are already born again in Christ. You can’t be born again born again.