I WANT to believe but I can't seem to

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sixeyes said:
Well, I guess I have to say no, or at least that that is the belief with which I struggle. Like I said initially, if Christianity is true, then I have no trouble with believing that Catholicism is the Church Jesus started.

However, my doubts revolve around: **what if this whole religion thing is just a sham? ** What if it’s just an anthropological construct to make us feel better, to help humans deal with the struggles of daily life? What if there is no God, no Jesus at all? Of course I know God’s existence doesn’t depend on my belief in Him-- if He exists, He does so whether I like it, or believe in it, or not. But my salvation… well, if He does exist, my salation certainly **is **dependent on my belief in Him!

Can I have these kinds of questions and still have faith? What does it mean to believe?
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If there was no Jesus , where did the bible come from and secondly IF Jesus never existed why did the new testament authors write down the testimony of his life ? For financial gain , to cause a riot amongst the jews and the romans ? Why did the apostles refuse to denounce christianity when confronted…remembering that in those days not bending a knee to caesar could easily result in death ! You are struggling like we all do from time to time…but my biggest question would be : Who created God ??? Perhaps this will have to go to another thread !🤷 🤷 🤷 😉
 
Lee Strobel’s books are good for times of doubt. It intellectualizes it. Also, I’d recommend the Language of God
 
sixeyes said:
Yes, I think I do sometimes get hung up on wanting to “feel” something. I have been to Lourdes as well as other holy sites-- and, while the trips were spiritually enriching for me, I wasn’t bowled over. I couldn’t feel the presence of angels, or God, or Mary, or anything. It just didn’t do that much more for me than being in front of the Blessed Sacrament in my home parish. Maybe I wasn’t open enough, I don’t know. I’ve never been able to “feel” that kind of presence, ever, and I fully recognize that feeling isn’t-- or shouldn’t be-- a reflection of a lack of faith. I don’t believe (there’s that word again!) that you need to *feel *anything in particular in order to believe, but it sure would make it easier!
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You nailed it when you said “Blessed Sacrament”. It IS Christ. Spend time before Him, who loves you. Open your heart to WHATEVER He wills for you. Beg for the Holy Spirit to act within you, releasing the charisms you have. That’s all.

Remember that each of us crosses the spiritual desert from time to time-it’s just that our deserts are different sizes.

Also, you are not wandering in the desert, you are crossing it.

The PEACE of Christ be with you, now and always. You are in our prayers.
 
sixeyes: I am not a Catholic, but I have been where you are, that place where you want to believe but don’t. I too pretended that I believed, and I would feel super nice about my “belief” until I applied a little honesty to myself and quit pretending. And then I would sit and stare at believers (of the Catholic sort) and think they were some kind of wonderful exotic creature and wonder at how they “got it” and I didn’t.

My experience is that the harder I try the more my search for God fails. Maybe it is because it is me, trying to make God fit into my idea of what He should be. Or what I think I should “feel”. But I have discovered that isn’t how it works. We don’t define God, in any fashion. Not even to the point of how God should make us feel.

Relax. Search out God’s Love and He will reveal Himself to you and you will find the peace that you are longing for.
 
After all of these underscored “doubts” I am now doubting the “doubts.” This is way too. too much for me; it is over the top in my sense of it.
 
I think I understand what you mean. You feel like you’re doing all the right things, but you’re feeling nothing. Recent articles about Mother Teresa indicate that she suffered similarly for many years. I also suffered from this lack of true faith for most of my life.

Besides prayer, and the sacraments as others have suggested, I’d recommend reading about the lives of some of the more popular saints. Read about the Marian apparitions. Come to know how God has worked through the lives of these wonderful Christian examples…and I believe you will be able to see and feel Christ within you.

I pray that you’re diligent in your pursuit of Jesus. He wants you to come to him.
 
I also had that problem about doubts
I went to a priest, told him the problem and ask for a blessing
also the St Michael prayer was always helpful and the Hail Mary always work. In the end I just ask Jesus to take my doubts.
Now when I get doubts I just call on Jesus and start doing
something to keep my mind busy till they fade away and are gone,
I now get fewer troubling doubts.
ceecal
 
Sixeyes still praying for you, just know you are not alone in what you are feeling.

I was just thinking of the poem “Footprints in The Sand”

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”🙂
 
sixeyes said:
My doubt is on a more basic level, though-- the existence of God at all, I guess, and specifically the validity of Christianity.Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
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Christ, in the garden of Gethsemane, asked if the cup His Father had for him could pass Him by. On the cross, He ask why His Father had abandoned Him. When you also feel the desolation, it is the closest to Christlike that your life will ever be. He, who knew all things, nevertheless suffered. It is certain that you, who do not know all things, will likewise suffer. Offer your suffering up to Christ. There is no better voice to hear saying, “Been there, Done that”. In Christ’s case, it was all done for you.

You are in our prayers.
 
johnstown_johnn said:
After all of these underscored “doubts” I am now doubting the “doubts.” This is way too. too much for me; it is over the top in my sense of it.
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Then how lucky, if not blessed, you are. Protect that sense with everything you’ve got. 🙂
 
Hi Sixeyes, I’m getting in on this late, and have not read all replies, so someone may have already suggested this.

When I catch myself flirting with doubt, I’ll head to a Holy Hour of Exposition and Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament or a Perpetual Adoration Chapel.

Immediately upon placing myself before the Real Presence, my doubt is replaced by a feeling of guilt. And it is that guilt that reminds me I do have Faith. And this is the time I talk and pray to Jesus directly. I thank Him and praise Him, and the only thing I ask Him for is to forgive me for Mortal sins I’ve committed since my last Hour of Adoration.

Nothing bolsters my Faith in Him than placing myself before Him.

:signofcross:

Hope this helps Sixeyes, you will be in my prayers tonight.
 
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