I went to my first TLM ... did not go well

[FK04US]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory. So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion, and felt so relieved, but at the same time very sad that I could not appreciate the beauty of the EF Mass.

I am so glad that I was born during the OF times and I am able to understand, follow, and participate in our Holy Mass. Of course, I get a bit angry with the noise, the announcements, and sometimes lack of reverence to Our Lord, but still it’s such a wonderful Rite, the one that brought God to my life, and I feel very proud of it. I don’t know if I will ever go to another EF Mass, but now I am sure that the Holy Spirit did brought the NO Mass to people like myself, devout Catholics of the 20-21st century that want to pray to God in our own language.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

 

[jmcrae]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost.

I find it best to do my reading at home ahead of time, so that I can focus with my whole attention on the Mass, without attempting to “read along.” I find that I need to do this for both the EF and the OF; otherwise, I get very, very distracted with trying to find what page we’re on, etc.

I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying,

He’s not talking to the congregation; he’s talking to God. We are there to pray with him; not to be his “audience” - he is interceding for us at the Throne of Grace.

there were no songs,

There usually aren’t in the EF, other than at High Mass.

The EF certainly takes getting used to. I like it very much, precisely because it isn’t really a social gathering, or an outwardly participatory experience. It’s nice to just be there in the silence, and not have to do or say anything, other than just kneel there and join my silent heart-prayers with the priest’s prayers.

 

[nmoerbeek]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory. So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion, and felt so relieved, but at the same time very sad that I could not appreciate the beauty of the EF Mass.

I am so glad that I was born during the OF times and I am able to understand, follow, and participate in our Holy Mass. Of course, I get a bit angry with the noise, the announcements, and sometimes lack of reverence to Our Lord, but still it’s such a wonderful Rite, the one that brought God to my life, and I feel very proud of it. I don’t know if I will ever go to another EF Mass, but now I am sure that the Holy Spirit did brought the NO Mass to people like myself, devout Catholics of the 20-21st century that want to pray to God in our own language.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

You have labeled yourself as devout and proud?

Well I had an opposite experience that you described when I went to my first Latin mass in October of this year. The reverence at the Latin mass is tremendous. How can you call something beautiful and then not appreciate it? Just so much how can something angers you be acceptable?

 

[FK04US]

Thanks for the comments. As I said, I don’t know why I felt so out of place and I wish I hadn’t.

When I said I was proud, I said proud of our Mass, the OF Mass, the Holy Mass that our Pope and all Catholics around the world celebrate. I don’t know where is the error with being (trying) a devout Catholic and have pride of our Holy Mass.

Regarding reverence and silence, of course I appreciate that. But I go to Eucharistic Adoration for that, and I love it. For Mass, I like to pray with my fellow parishioners under the guidance of the Priest at Mass, and not just looking at him praying for us. And it’s definitively not just a social experience, it’s a prayer with my community in remembrance of the sacrifice of Our Lord. And yes, I love singing to my Lord and to Our Lady.

As I said, there are things in the OF Mass that anger me sometimes, but it is like in every family, there are things that you don’t like about your Mom, Dad, spouse or children, but you still LOVE them and would not change them for anything. It’s the same for me and our Mass.

In Christ,

 

[jc-servant]

You have labeled yourself as devout and proud?

Well I had an opposite experience that you described when I went to my first Latin mass in October of this year. The reverence at the Latin mass is tremendous. How can you call something beautiful and then not appreciate it? Just so much how can something angers you be acceptable?

The person already said they are not putting the TLM down, so why go after them in accusatory manner? They are relating their experience and yours was not the same. You don’t know this person’s background or why God has touched them through a different form of the liturgy. It is still a Holy Sacrifice and the person is still Catholic and going to mass. At least they made an attempt to go to a TLM before deciding that it might not be right for them at this point in their life.

 

[jmcrae]

Thanks for the comments. As I said, I don’t know why I felt so out of place and I wish I hadn’t.

If I were you, I’d give it another try - this time without trying to follow along in the book. Just let the experience flow over you, without trying to understand it in an intellectual way.

 

[Windmill]

FK04US,

I understand what you are saying. Having studied liturgy for about 10 years, reading up on the history of the church, reading periodicals that unpack all the prayers of the TLM, I felt pretty prepared for my first TLM - even though I, too, was born in the 70’s. I went 3 weeks ago, and I can tell that it has the potential to inspire in ways that the new Mass, as typically-celebrated, does not. The only thing is that it is disorienting at first. I knew how to follow along (a BIG plus), but even so, it felt foreign to what I had known as “worship.” I’m persisting because I heard a good and holy priest say, “It takes about 6 weeks to get used to the TLM. After that, you’ll never go back.”

From your OP, you sound like someone that does appreciate the old Mass. It’s just that your senses are not acclamated to it, yet. I would encourage you to step outside your comfort zone as I am doing and give the EF a fair shake. If, after that, you are still drawn to the OF, you can at least say you gave an honest try.

One time just isn’t enough

 

[ChristinaM]

Now I know not everyone can get used to the EF, but don’t you think this was rude of you:

So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion,

I don’t think I could ever walk out on Jesus like that.

So, now that I’ve been mean, I want to share. I always heard people praising the EF and talking about how it was such a wonderful experience. So I felt a little bit flat after my first Tridentine Mass too. I had grown accustomed to feeling so uplifted after each Mass. But I realized it was a big opportunity for me to grow spiritually. I had to realize that, as great as it is to feel emotionally connected, and as fruitful as that can be, we can also have true prayer without feeling a “rush.” I had to engage more consciously instead of just being carried along on the tide, if that makes any sense. I will keep going to the EF and try to come to a fuller understanding of it.

The EF certainly takes getting used to. I like it very much, precisely because it isn’t really a social gathering, or an outwardly participatory experience. It’s nice to just be there in the silence, and not have to do or say anything, other than just kneel there and join my silent heart-prayers with the priest’s prayers.

I agree. It is just so very different from what we are used to with the OF. Give it another chance. Maybe read up on the rite beforehand and read the readings before Mass. Like you, I was very concerned with “following along” at my first EF Mass. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to just let go and pray that I started feeling “at home.”

I love the silences in the EF Our modern culture does not deal well with silence. But so often that silent space is where God speaks to us. God bless.

 

[chrisb]

The first time I attended the TLM I too was struck by the silence and I too was completely lost… I too tried to follow along and I too found it a bit frustrating.

My humble suggestion is go to High Mass not Low and go with nothing… and you will leave with everything.

Don’t be a afraid of silence and sit next to someone whom you know goes often and just que off of them. You are entering into the mystery of our faith and deeper participation will grow in time.

Be patient and trust.

Peace and God Bless.

 

[ASD]

However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory.

I know what you mean, I think. It took me a while to realize that I couldn’t bring NO/OF attitudes or expectations to TLM/EF.

Maybe you would be more comfortable if you did some reading, &c. Then try again. E.g., take some time with these tutorials.

ASD​

Traditional Latin Mass: Translation and Grammar

 

[Sarabande]

If I were you, I’d give it another try - this time without trying to follow along in the book. Just let the experience flow over you, without trying to understand it in an intellectual way.

I agree. You can read up on it from home before mass. It’s understandable that you may have felt weird and out of place. Most people of our generation and younger have never experienced this kind of mass before. I remember my first time as a 22-year-old attending mass in the EF. I had some experience with Latin because of my vocal training and because of my experience with Latin OF masses, but the TLM was still different. It was strange not being able to hear the priest and the mass being more “quiet” and much less “jocular”. At the same time, I think because I didn’t have a booklet to follow, it actually took to me much better because I was taking it in a more, I guess you can say, transcendent way rather than in an analytical one, which I know would have happened had I used a booklet. Later, I used booklets. I was very lucky the entire year I lived in that particular little city because the parish did a TLM every Sunday, so I got to experience it quite a lot and each time I got to understand it more and allowed it to become more a part of me. The people there were very nice and the priest (who I believe was actually the bishop of that small diocese) was wonderful.

Where I live now, I don’t get to attend a TLM that often because there aren’t many near me. I do have to say, though, if you have a chance to attend a high mass in the EF, it might prove to be an even more spiritual experience should sacred music be something that helps inspire you spiritually.

Again, don’t feel bad about your experience, but also don’t give up on it without trying it out some more.

 

[Seamus_L]

My advice would be to attend a Tridentine High Mass. I took someone who had never attended one before to the High Mass at St John Cantius in Chicago last Sunday, and she was quite impressed. There are alot more audible parts in the High Mass, and other parts were beautifully sung by the choir.

 

[theistgal]

I think it’s great that you checked it out for yourself, instead of just listening to what others said about it. Good for you!

We should all take the opportunity to check out other approved liturgies and rites of our Church. Like any good mother, she knows her kids have different tastes and does her best to give us a variety.

If you haven’t already, you may want to check out the Divine Liturgy at an Eastern Catholic parish, if you can find one near you. Like the Tridentine Mass, it’s a very ancient liturgy and yet very different in style. And if you like to sing, you won’t be disappointed!

 

[ac_claire]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory. So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion, and felt so relieved, but at the same time very sad that I could not appreciate the beauty of the EF Mass.

I am so glad that I was born during the OF times and I am able to understand, follow, and participate in our Holy Mass. Of course, I get a bit angry with the noise, the announcements, and sometimes lack of reverence to Our Lord, but still it’s such a wonderful Rite, the one that brought God to my life, and I feel very proud of it. I don’t know if I will ever go to another EF Mass, but now I am sure that the Holy Spirit did brought the NO Mass to people like myself, devout Catholics of the 20-21st century that want to pray to God in our own language.

I can completely relate to what you’re saying. Let me give you some advice: don’t give up on the TLM. I had a similar experience at my first TLM and it wasn’t until my 3rd or 4th time going that it finally “clicked” with me. It’s something that’s hard to explain, but trust me on this one. Give it another chance- I promise you it’s worth the effort.

 

[peregrinator_it]

OTOH, if you continue to try the TLM and still feel a disconnect, and if you were drawn to the TLM because of the ancient language and sense of reverence, you may want to search out a Latin OF. This I recommend .

(Full disclosure: I was raised attending a Latin OF. I came to the TLM already knowing the prayers and knowing some Latin and able to follow along but I still find it less prayerful than the Latin OF in my home parish. (And I have attended the full spectrum from Low Mass to High Mass to Missa Cantata to Dialogue Mass.))

 

[mattwcu]

I think the issue here for the original poster is the idea that they have to hear and pray word for word everything that is going on at Mass in order to participate properly. We shouldn’t fault them for that because in modern times we have come to expect everything to be easily understood.

But whenever I introduce people to the TLM for the first, or even first several, that they attend I always encourage them NOT to try and follow along but just put the book down and pray. Pray hard. Pray for all your loved ones, for your worries, to your patron saint, to God, and the souls in purgatory.

This way they will not be frustrated and will have a tremendous experience.

 

[peregrinator_it]

I think the issue here for the original poster is the idea that they have to hear and pray word for word everything that is going on at Mass in order to participate properly. We shouldn’t fault them for that because in modern times we have come to expect everything to be easily understood.

This is off-topic- and perhaps I should have more self-restraint and save for a new thread- but “the idea that [those praying] have to hear and pray word for word everything that is going on” is not a modern one when it comes to Catholic liturgy (public worship.) Even in the TLM the servers make the responses on behalf of the congregation, because vocal responses are important.

Also the other “half” of the Catholic liturgy, the Divine Office, has been prayed word for word by those whose office is it is do so (ironically mainly contemplative religious) for centuries- as many centuries (and more) as the TLM has been in existence.

So, the idea of vocal/audible particpation in liturgy is not a modern fabrication.

 

[Norseman82]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory. So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion, and felt so relieved, but at the same time very sad that I could not appreciate the beauty of the EF Mass.

I am so glad that I was born during the OF times and I am able to understand, follow, and participate in our Holy Mass. Of course, I get a bit angry with the noise, the announcements, and sometimes lack of reverence to Our Lord, but still it’s such a wonderful Rite, the one that brought God to my life, and I feel very proud of it. I don’t know if I will ever go to another EF Mass, but now I am sure that the Holy Spirit did brought the NO Mass to people like myself, devout Catholics of the 20-21st century that want to pray to God in our own language.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

My first experience was 12 years ago and similar to yours. In the past year, though, I have found a TLM low Mass that I can follow, since the priest is more audible, there is little singing, and the layout of the chapel is such that you can follow the movements of the priest somewhat easily. My advice is to try to find something similar to “wet your feet”. I don’t know where you are located, but if you are in the Chicago area, check out the 10AM TLM at St. John Vianney in Northlake.

 

[yellowbird]

This is off-topic- and perhaps I should have more self-restraint and save for a new thread- but “the idea that [those praying] have to hear and pray word for word everything that is going on” is not a modern one when it comes to Catholic liturgy (public worship.) Even in the TLM the servers make the responses on behalf of the congregation, because vocal responses are important.

.

How does one participate if he can’t hear what’s being said? Is he supposed to pray his own prayers? Just quietly observe?

I am a farily new Catholic from an Evangelical background… the NO mass is all I know… I’m just trying to wrap my brain around a mass where I can’t hear / have no idea what’s going on. I imgaine it would be similar to a Spanish mass I attended (I don’t speak Spanish - I was pretty much lost) Aren’t I supposed to participate in the mass? Or is that not the case with the TLM?

 

[Margarite]

Hi all. This post does not intend to make any judgment on the Holy Mass. I was born in the late 70s and had never gone to a TLM until last Sunday. I was very excited about it after having had a great confession the prior day, and was looking forward to learn about the Mass that our saints enjoy in the last centuries. Kind of a treat for Christmas!

So I woke up very early for Mass, and went ready for such a great experience. However, I must say that I felt totally out of place during the EF Mass, almost like an alien and I don’t know why. I tried to follow the guide with translations, but usually got lost. I could not hear a word of what the Priest was saying, there were no songs, people were reverent but kind of cold, I don’t know … it was weird territory. So weird that I was not able to stay until the end, I felt like I had to leave and actually I left while people where waiting for Communion. I went to my usual OF Mass the same day and took Communion, and felt so relieved, but at the same time very sad that I could not appreciate the beauty of the EF Mass.

I am so glad that I was born during the OF times and I am able to understand, follow, and participate in our Holy Mass. Of course, I get a bit angry with the noise, the announcements, and sometimes lack of reverence to Our Lord, but still it’s such a wonderful Rite, the one that brought God to my life, and I feel very proud of it. I don’t know if I will ever go to another EF Mass, but now I am sure that the Holy Spirit did brought the NO Mass to people like myself, devout Catholics of the 20-21st century that want to pray to God in our own language.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

I am a student at Wyoming Catholic College, and the TLM is offered there twice a week. A lot of the students have never attended a TLM before, and if they attend their first alone, they feel out of place also, even though all of their friends are the only other people in the pews. The reason is that the TLM is a little confusing and very daunting to the new-comer. So, what I suggest is the same thing that I suggest to my friends: go at least three times with someone who can lead you through the missal and show you how to keep up with the priest. Have the person explain a few things after each time you go so that it becomes easier each time. Make sure your friend has a missal and knows how to use it.
The thing with the TLM, is that most people attending have attended all their lives, and when it was developed, it was developed for people who grew up with it, so they knew what was going on just as you know what is going on at the NO. When people converted their sponsors would show them the ropes of the mass. So, don’t feel like it is just you and please don’t give up. Find someone who can show you the way.
Merry Christmas All!