I find myself in a similar boat to you, except that I do have that “rock” you referred to, its just that it seems everything around me seems to sway me towards unbelief. I think what non-beleivers, or struggling beleivers lack is their own conversion experience, that personal encounter with God, be it subtle or extreme. If you struggle to beleive, I would say, reflect on the 10 commandments and the truth they reveal.
Example: one of the biggest commandments broken nowadays, unfortunately, is “Thou shalt not commit adualtery”. Some may look at that commandment and immediately think “oh, well, i can’t exploit sex for pleasure? Well, maybe i don’t want to obey the law”. But think, God doesnt give us these commands arbitrarily, nor does Jesus elaborate upon these commands without some greater purpose that is for the betterment of humanity. Many forms of adultery exist in the world today, and just digging a little deeper explains why God would command this of us. Obviously, cheating on a spouse is just an awful thing to do, fornication can lead to unplanned pregnancy and therefore a potentially bad upbringing for that child, pornography and masturbation ultimately lead to psychological scarring, including unconscious objectification of other people and yourself leading one to devalue the dignity and humanity of another, and so on.
See what I’m aiming at? It at least makes sense of the truth. Such a truth is hard for some to accept because, perhaps, its a morality beyond the human scope of existence and purpose in life. Otherwise, more might follow it. Through these laws, on a humanly level, love for neighbor is shown by respect for their dignity, and respect for one’s self.
Moreover, when we exercise virtue and look for chances to exercise it, doesnt it seem like things fall into place? For example, I once took a class in networking basics, and one day, we had a lab where we made patch cables by lining up the colored wires with their respective ports on the jack. The class after that lab, one of my peers was absent and had to retake the lab after class. I got up and was about to leave like normal, but something stopped me and said “charity” in my spirit. I thought about leaving, but decided to stay and help him. Turns out he was colorblind, so the lab would’ve been very hard on his own. Its these little situations that, I beleive, God leaves for us so that we can see how He wants us to work in the world. You won’t always have circumstances like this, but be open to it, because its the little things that matter.
I would say, more than anything, try your best to have your heart open to God, because while it may not seem like He’s there, He is. Sometimes we just need to have our own encounters, and that becomes our rock. Mine came at a very low point, but it keeps me from giving up entirely. Yeah, I struggle with faith and believing sometimes, but sometimes just knowing the natural is all we can do. Just know, He is there, and He loves you and sometimes thats all you need to know, or can know.
Just a sidenote, if you are going to research the faith, be careful on youtube
