I wish I had been born male

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throwawayacc

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I hate being a woman so much, I try not to think about it but sometimes it’s inevitable and makes me sad. I am not “transgender”, will never mutilate my body since that is a sin and know my feelings are irrational but I just want to vent in a Catholic forum since anywhere else people would try to convince me to “transition” (take male hormones/mutilate my body), which is a terrible sin and a sure way to suicide!

I began puberty very early. I started growing breasts by age 8 and had my period by age 10, it was bad since I could not play like a normal child and people expected me to act more mature since I was “a lady already” (come on, I was 10!!).
When I was 11/12 more or less I swore I would just remove my lady parts once I was 18, I am 18 now and would not do this since it would be a grave sin but I still hate being a girl. Having two dangling balls of fat in front of me 24/7 and bleeding every month from my private parts and knowing this will go on as long as I live saddens me deeply, also that people will always see me and treat me like a girl, but mostly having a female body, I wish I had not gone through puberty at least :confused: it would be less bad.

I never liked girl things, always liked being with boys and being treated like a girl makes me mad since I don’t “perceive” myself as one (although I know I am), I’m the classical “tomboy” type but I think most tomboys don’t hate being a woman with every fiber of their being.

I am not mad at God, I know God does/allows things for a purpose but I really really hate being like this. I wish I had been born male and did even before my body started changing, I remember agreeing with people when they jokingly said things like “you should’ve been born a boy”, “you’re a little boy” etc because of my tomboy personality

I don’t hate my body, I don’t think I am ugly and my female features aren’t exaggerated to get unwanted attention. I know it’s irrational but I simply always “felt” like a boy (culturally, ofc) and hated having girl parts.
I know girls have it easier, that women can be awesome and do great things like Holy Mary etc etc. I am not saying men have an easy life, that men are better than women or that women suck, it’s just feelings that although irrational I have never been able to shake off completely. I have accepted that I will be a woman for the rest of my life but this makes me very disheartened.

I just wanted to get this off my chest, please don’t get mad at me and please pray for me :((((((((
 
It is torture to not be at peace with oneself. Have you reached out for, if not counseling, at least understanding?
 
I will pray for you.

I suggest you to talk with a priest and psychologist /psychiatrist to see why you feel this way and to accept yourself in a way God created you.
 
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Psychologists/psychiatrists all unfortunately support and encourage transgenderism nowadays, unfortunately :confused: if you read stories about “trans kids”, trans teenagers or adults going to psychologists they just affirm their insecurities and encourage them to seek hormonal “treatments”
 
adamhovey1988 said:
It SUCKS being a man
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The OP, to her credit, acknowledged that, and admits that she wants the “tom boy” fun, without the drawbacks men face in today’s world. She seems to particularly just wish that she had a man’s simpler “parts” to a woman’s, which only feel like an impediment to her.
 
Perhaps greater understanding of yourself, who you are and coming to peace with who you are. My wife was a tomboy, but never suffered the disconnect that you seem to be suffering from.

Certainly, there is counseling that can draw you closer to being at peace. Have you been to an endocrinologist? There can be chemical imbalances within the body that can lead to all sorts of distress. But, that can be compensated for or corrected.

It strikes me that your cognitive process is the source of much of your difficulty and that might be where the solution lies. We can be trained, even train ourselves, to think and perceive differently.

But, most of all, you are loved. That is why you exist. What you are experiencing may be your cross to bear - but it also may not! You will never know until you get some expert eyes on your case.
 
throwawayacc said:
Psychologists/psychiatrists all unfortunately support and encourage transgenderism nowadays, unfortunately :confused: if you read stories about “trans kids”, trans teenagers or adults going to psychologists they just affirm their insecurities and encourage them to seek hormonal “treatments”
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That’s sad and very damageable. Encourage someone to stay with the gender of his body for a health provider can even been illegal in some places.

It’s difficult to not have someone to speak of your issues.

I would avoid psychiatrics, for your problems, unless you feel others needs that can only be taken in charge by a doctor.
But I hope that a psychologist would not suggest or push a client into transgenderism if he had been clear from the start that he don’t want to follow this way at all. It may depend of the person.

Do you have a dear friend, a relative, some internet people, or a counselor or a spiritual advisor to speak of your feelings if you need it, someone you would not judge you but equally don’t except you to “change” your gender?
 
Please reach out to your parents.

Also, the Courage apostolate has online resources including forums for LGBT who want to live according to Catholic values.
Google search for couragerc (I forget what comes after the “dot”)

God bless ❤️:pray:t2:
 
throwawayacc said:
I have accepted that I will be a woman for the rest of my life but this makes me very disheartened.
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It may help to read some of these stories from the Detransition Advocacy Network. There are so many young people who go through with transition only to find that didn’t resolve their problem. It’s tragic when they’ve had full surgery when they begin to doubt and regret.

Good always comes from being faithful and obedient to Gods will for you even though it is a hard road.

 
Hey Throw. I’m sorry for your struggle here. I can’t offer much advice on your situation itself. But please know that we are here for you to help any way we can. Your absolutely loved by God and by all of us, through thick and thin. I’ll pray for peace for you, do t hesitate to message me anytime if you need to chat/vent.
 
1 Corinthians 10:13 says “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”. I think you should try to memorize that passage and recite it when you are feeling low. If you are a christian, God loves you and that truth is beyond human conception. His love is far greater than sin is.

I’m a bisexual. A part of me wants to be in a committed relationship with another man, but I know that God would not approve of it. It’s tough because I deal with twice as much lust as a cisgender person does (because I get desires for both genders, respectively). I know that sexuality and gender are not the same thing, but I can relate to the idea that I wish I was someone else. I know that God loves me, though.

I don’t understand why He has let same-sex attractions affect me, but He will tell me one day (in Heaven). It will all make sense in the end. The same is true for you. I pray that the Lord removes the gender dysphoria out of your life. Amen.
 
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I have read many stories of the kind (there is even a sub reddit dedicated to it: reddit.com/r/detrans ) and do not wish to transition since that is a very grave sin that leads to confusion, but if I had not God and a family I honestly would get surgery to remove my breasts and uterus, dress as a man 24/7 and just lie to everyone saying I was a man. But thank God I am catholic and have a family not to dissapoint. Many people aren’t so lucky. If society was more focused in pleasing God instead of pleasing humans, a lot of problems would not exist (such as psychologists pushing transgenderism)
 
Thank you for sharing. I do not know why God created me a woman since it does not fit me at all, but maybe it was so I intercede from Heaven for people who also struggle with gender dysphoria. Why He creates some people in a way they intrinsically hate, however, I also don’t know. But God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than ours. It’s not for us to argue with God (that is beyond foolish), rather to accept His will. It’s not easy tho :confused: but He will give us all strength, amen
 
There is not much to be done, I just wanted a few shoulders to cry on since I wouldn’t talk to anyone in real life about this, thank you, God bless you, please pray for me
 
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