I woke up to find an unwelcome object in my kitchen

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Margarete_Faust said:
A note on the vandalism suggestions: the thought did cross my mind, but it would have given her the justification to go after my stuff too, especially more sacred things like my Bible, my rosaries, and my Orthodox Christian icons. She has a skeleton key to her bedroom and can lock the door (we live in a very old house), while my bedroom key has been missing long before I moved in.
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It’s good she’s willing to compromise.

Have you considered replacing the lock on your room? Locks are fairly cheap.
 
And seriously, humor is more or less welcomed by me, even in situations like these. 🙂
 
Tolerance seems to be the excuse for a lot of sinful behavior these days.
 
Margarete_Faust said:
Last night I woke up to my roommate’s friends being obnoxiously loud in the kitchen. Since I tend to be a tired person who has had loud roommates in the past, I can usually solve the problem by just going back to sleep, so no confrontation needed. Since it’s finals week at my university, and I don’t have that many finals to take (I am a graduate student) I assumed that my roommate assumed that I could be bothered on a weeknight on this particular week. Anyway, I woke up again and heard strange references to a doll in the kitchen. “I can’t believe you bought a blow-up doll”, “Is your roommate going to freak out when she sees this?”. After I heard all of this, my ability to fall asleep left me altogether.

I got up sometime after they had left (at 3:30 am, mind you) and found that there was indeed a blow-up doll in the kitchen. Now, my roommate is the kind of person who would find blow-up dolls to be funny. I know absolutely nothing about her sex life. What I do know about her is that she is agnostic and preaches the word “tolerance” a lot (you know, as in abortion is a form of tolerance, and supporting gay marriage is a form of tolerance). In spite of the fact that we are as different as night and day, we have been able to maintain harmony in our roommate relationship.

At the same time, I AM offended by this blow-up doll being in the kitchen. I am sure it’s place there is temporary, and that no one did anything with it last night other than to treat it like some huge stuffed animal that they adopted as a friend. I know I will speak to her about her friends being over that late on a weeknight during finals week, but how do I address the doll? I feel like I am going to get a “tolerance” argument thrown at me somehow. In any case, please pray for me (and the conversion of my roommate).
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I know its not the same ting, but back in 2003, my college roommate and I were total opposites. One day he got to our dorm, and took out a Ouija board, I told him dude take that out of here, He reponded, I pay rent so I can bring whatever I want.
I understood that point but at the sametime I was not going to be around a game that has proven to be Satanic. We got into a headed argument. What I did, was go to the Dorm Director, I didn’t tell him about the issue, I just told him I wanted a more private dorm. Which he did. As adults try to work it out by talking, but if it doesn’t help, try moving out of there
 
Irishmom2 said:
I can understand your disgust…

I would open her bedroom door and just put it in her room. When she says something, just say what she has in her room is her business. What is in the kitchen is both of yours.
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I like this idea, I would just tell her to keep it in her room. Whatever she has in her room is her business. 🤷
 
Margarete_Faust said:
Thanks for the responses! My roommate did get out of bed in the last hour, and when I got to the kitchen, I did find her in the act of cleaning up everything from the kitchen (the beer bottles, the doll, etc). She kind of looked at me sheepishly and admitted she and her friends bought it jointly ($40 down the drain, if you ask me) on a whim. She even admitted it was a stupid idea (but more from a financial point of view). We talked about it and she seemed to be cool about leaving it in her room.

A note on the vandalism suggestions: the thought did cross my mind, but it would have given her the justification to go after my stuff too, especially more sacred things like my Bible, my rosaries, and my Orthodox Christian icons. She has a skeleton key to her bedroom and can lock the door (we live in a very old house), while my bedroom key has been missing long before I moved in.
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Yeah it’s better not to even open that can of worms.
 
chero23 said:
I know its not the same ting, but back in 2003, my college roommate and I were total opposites. One day he got to our dorm, and took out a Ouija board, I told him dude take that out of here, He reponded, I pay rent so I can bring whatever I want.
I understood that point but at the sametime I was not going to be around a game that has proven to be Satanic. We got into a headed argument. What I did, was go to the Dorm Director, I didn’t tell him about the issue, I just told him I wanted a more private dorm. Which he did. As adults try to work it out by talking, but if it doesn’t help, try moving out of there
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Yeah living with someone that’s practicing satanism or voodoo or using ouija boards is totally different because those things affect the whole house and invite evil spirits. I would not live with someone practicing those kinds of things. Because those spirits are going to go after the **Christian **in the home first.
 
Margarete_Faust said:
Thanks for the responses! My roommate did get out of bed in the last hour, and when I got to the kitchen, I did find her in the act of cleaning up everything from the kitchen (the beer bottles, the doll, etc). She kind of looked at me sheepishly and admitted she and her friends bought it jointly ($40 down the drain, if you ask me) on a whim. She even admitted it was a stupid idea (but more from a financial point of view). We talked about it and she seemed to be cool about leaving it in her room.

A note on the vandalism suggestions: the thought did cross my mind, but it would have given her the justification to go after my stuff too, especially more sacred things like my Bible, my rosaries, and my Orthodox Christian icons. She has a skeleton key to her bedroom and can lock the door (we live in a very old house), while my bedroom key has been missing long before I moved in.
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Glad she is taking responsibility for this. And I agree that $40 is a lot of money for a quick joke! Keeping the common areas of your shared house neutral is a very good idea. Unless you both like a certain deor item (including plastic toys and religious icons), it shouldn’t be in the common areas permenently.

If you’ll be living there much longer, I would go to the trouble of getting a lock for your bedroom door (and the bathroom if that doesn’t lock properly). It will allow you privacy and security if there are people over when you are sleeping, and when you are away from the house.

Finally, you should see if you can agree on some general rules like when is it OK to have guests (not during finals week, other times?), overnight guests, and quiet hours (between 1-6am?). Most universities have guidelines like that for on-campus living, maybe you can crib something from your school’s website?
 
Skye_Ariel said:
Yeah living with someone that’s practicing satanism or voodoo or using ouija boards is totally different because those things affect the whole house and invite evil spirits. I would not live with someone practicing those kinds of things. Because those spirits are going to go after the **Christian **in the home first.
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Is this really true?!
Yikes! That is scary. I did not know that a Christian would be the first target.
 
mommamaree said:
Is this really true?!
Yikes! That is scary. I did not know that a Christian would be the first target.
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Well, think about it. The others are no big trophy - the Christian would be the “top prize,” so to speak.
 
Glad, you were able to resolve this peacefully. I agree and i would get a lock for my room.

I pray for you to be safe in all ways and for boundaries to be honor.

Hugs and love!
 
I think your friend is trying to get you annoyed and having a little fun at your expense. She probably wants to see you get all hot and bothered so stay cool. Perhaps the best way to deal with it is to initially ignore it and act as though you find her bringing the “toy” into your apartment as quite immature while you roll your eyes. Make her seem the fool not you! If she doesn’t remove it in a day or two then request that she does. Be the calm cool adult in the room. Good luck!
 
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