With respect, I think you are really expecting a lot to expect visitors to attend coffee and donuts, unless it is held in the lobby such that you can’t avoid it exiting the church. If you have to go somewhere else in the church building to get your coffee and donut, then I think most people will skip it, especially first-time visitors who don’t know anyone.
I have never attended coffee and donunts at my parish after nearly five years of attendance. It just doesn’t appeal to me. (I love donuts, BTW, like Homer Simpson!)
I don’t feel comfortable in those social settings.
I see nothing wrong with stating that a parish SHOULD be warm and welcoming to newcomers and strangers. The Bible says that we should welcome strangers because some have entertained angels unaware. Hospitality is actually listed in the New Testament as one of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.
It is not a sign of holiness or deep spirituality to be so immersed in your “prayer” that you ignore everyone around you before or after Mass.
As I said in an earlier post, WE have to take the first step and be a more welcoming person. Honestly, now, that doesn’t mean dashing up to all the strangers in the church lobby, grabbing them, hugging their necks, and crying out, “Praise the Lord and bless your heart, honey, we’re so GLAAAAAD that you decided to come and worship with us here today at St. Curly’s Church!”
It may mean something as simple as smiling and nodding at people that you don’t know, or waving at people in the parking lot, or saying, “Hi,” to people as you exit the church. For a lot of people, that’s enough. It makes you feel welcome and warm and part of the “group.” It might be enough to encourage them to come BACK to Mass next week–wouldn’t that be wonderful? And if they aren’t Catholics, the friendly faces and smiles and waves MIGHT just be enough to convince them to at least study Catholicism and perhaps even join RCIA or a Catholic apologetics class or a Bible study.
Do you get the idea here that Cat is speaking from personal experience? Hmmm???!!
My husband and I were KICKED OUT of our evangelical Protestant church. I stood in the church parking lot, shook my fist at heaven, and said, “God, if you want me in a church, then You are going to have to tell your people to WOO me into church, because I refuse to allow myself to be treated so badly again by supposedly Christian people.”
Well, one of the main factors in our decision to become Catholic was the friendliness of people who attended Mass with us. One elderly couple in particular were so kind. They always waved and smiled at us, and once, right before Communion, I started to stand up so that they could pass by us, and the woman knelt next to me and said, “You don’t have to interrupt your prayer. We’ll just walk out the other end of the pew.”
Such kind words and action–such a simple little thing–would YOU call it PROTESTANT?!
Well, if it was truly a Protestant thing to do–it was the straw the broke me and caused me to make a decision to enter RCIA. I continued to kneel there and I started sobbing. I was so touched that someone in the Church would treat me so kindly. I was literally starved for the touch of Jesus, and this woman and her husband gave it to me.
Now what if that woman had decided to ignore everyone around her in Mass and just “pray?”
There is nothing in those hospitable actions that is irreverent or disrespectful of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament or --heaven forbid–Protestant (gasp in horror). I’m sure that long before Protestants existed, Catholics were smiling, nodding, waving, and saying “Hi” to each other before and after Mass.
In our parish, hugs and kind words and actions before and after Mass (and sometimes during) are common. We see them constantly and I’m glad. If kind looks and smiles and handshakes and are Protestant, well–tough cookies. I don’t see how it’s Protestant to show love to our Christian brothers and sisters.
for you!