If God loves me why won't he send a spouse?

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JorduSpeaks said:
Sometimes, we find truth in the strangest places. I was watching a TV show called Hemlock Grove, and one of the characters kept repeating the following:

“God does not want us to be happy. He wants us to be strong.” Maybe there’s some truth to that as we try to make sense of our own pain.
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Baltimore Catechism No. 3, Q 150:

Q. 150. Why did God make you?
A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next.
 
Looks like things are progressing with me and my male friend so we will see. He’s kind, gentle we have things in common and he’s Catholic.
 
Vico said:
Baltimore Catechism No. 3, Q 150:

Q. 150. Why did God make you?
A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next.
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Fine, then. He doesn’t want us to be happy until we die. For all practical purposes, though, it’s the same thing. It has been my experience that everyone who needs the comfort of words is living in this world.
 
agapewolf said:
I find this thread very interesting. While I see a lot of bitterness in the OP posts, and I think there is something bigger going on here, and its very true that one’s general demeanor can assist or repel meeting people in general, the cliches are tiresome, annoying, and most of the time do not tell the whole truth.

“have to be happy with yourself/God first”. Bull. This is heresy. We are never completely satisfied until we are with God in heaven. He put that ache for Him in us on purpose.

“stop looking and the spouse will show up”. Again, doesn’t make a lot of sense. If marriage is our vocation, that is our path to heaven, and we should never cease pursuing it.

I find Jorduspeaks posts extremely compassionate, empathizing, and very intuitive to the way a single person feels often time.
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Agreed. When people say things like this it comes off like they’re saying something is wrong with them and that’s why they are single. “Oh your just not close enough to God”. It implies that all married people are holier than single people, but we all know that isn’t the case. If being married is a “reward” for being holy and close to God, then your spouse is a “prize”.
 
To fall in love with God is the greatest of romances,
to seek Him the greatest adventure,
to find Him the greatest human achievement.
–St. Augustine

***Q. **Why did God make you?
**A. **God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.
**Q. **What must we do to save our souls?
**A. **To save our souls, we must worship God by faith, hope, and charity; that is, we must believe in Him, hope in
Him, and love Him with all our heart. *
–Baltimore Catechism

Brothers, everyone should continue before God in the state in which he was called. Now in regard to virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. So this is what I think best because of the present distress: that it is a good thing for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek a separation. Are you free of a wife? Then do not look for a wife. If you marry, however, you do not sin, nor does an unmarried woman sin if she marries; but such people will experience affliction in their earthly life, and I would like to spare you that.
1 Cor. 7:24-28

Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor. 12:8-10

The proof of God’s love is not that He always finds us a spouse.
The proof of God’s love is that He suffered and died so we could have eternal life. Nothing is more important than that, nothing is important without that, and if that were all that God ever did for any one of us, it would be sufficient reason to praise Him and give Him thanks for all eternity.

It is fine to ask God to find you a spouse. It is not necessary to give up. In asking for a good and holy marriage, you are asking for a positive good! Of course that is OK! It is necessary to accept that the question is in God’s hands. We ought to bring all of our needs and objectively good desires to God, but none of us have the license to get up and walk out if we do not like the answer. If we did, to whom would we go? 🤷
 
I am 49 and have never been married and I am fine with it If I do marry someday fine If I don’t ever marry the that is okay also.
 
Thanks Irish Mom. It took awhile but finally progressing. He’s such a sweet guy. Plus our families get along well (his mom and my mom shared a bottle of wine not long ago).
 
Yeah there are so many good things about him. We share the same interests, personalities but our families getting along is great too.
 
TeachCatechism said:
Yeah there are so many good things about him. We share the same interests, personalities but our families getting along is great too.
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We wish you all the best–that is, that everything works out well and you help each other to a long life of loving each other, serving God, family and neighbor, ending in an eternity in Heaven!
 
EasterJoy said:
We wish you all the best–that is, that everything works out well and you help each other to a long life of loving each other, serving God, family and neighbor, ending in an eternity in Heaven!
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Thanks.He really is a rare guy, he doesn’t believe in premarital sex and lives a God filled life.
 
TeachCatechism said:
It’s obvious God has plans for me to be alone the rest of my life and not sure why. I’m actually considering leaving the church because of this issue because it bothers me so much.

I wanted nothing more than to find “the one”. In high school I waited patiently for guys to ask me out but it rarely happened. The few guys who asked me out were in the special education class and mentally challenged. Since I was an honors student I didn’t see this as compatible though was polite about it. I had one guy I liked and we were friends for a few years before dating. He talked me into things I knew were wrong and I said okay because I wanted a boyfriend badly. He dumped me right after. This was a pattern throughout college and past college (I didn’t date anyone else in high school)where either way I would be dumped so why do it? However most of the guys were guys I didn’t like but was so desperate to have a boyfriend I dated. Men like an alcoholic who saw nothing wrong with abortion (he paid for three) or a con artist who was also a pimp (tried to recruit me but luckily I was too strong for this). I would try meeting decent men but they didn’t want me because they usually had someone else or not into dating. I would spend hours crying because I wasn’t getting dates. When friends and relatives started getting married I would cry and usually not attend the weddings. Why celebrate something I’ll never have?

Years later I tried singles groups and online dating and failed. Outside of undesirable men with anti Christian values, I mostly got ignored. This has gotten worse the older I get because men now want younger and all that seem to contact me are much older and men with kids who are either divorced or never married the mom. Why should I have to settle on trashy men when I never got a good one (except one ex)to begin with? Why didn’t God send me a spouse when I asked him for one? I’ve always been devout and never hurt anyone yet God sees fit to hurt me and no idea why. I know evil women who abused men yet never suffered. The irony is I am pretty so why men would bypass is something that makes no sense.
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Yep been there. It’s very hard sometimes when you would like a partner or just a good friend and there isn’t one around. I’m not sure when some of us can’t find a partner while others seem to be gifted the ability to find one with no effort. In my case I don’t always realize a guy is interested till it’s too late or it always seems to be at the wrong time. A guy who appeared interested lately messaged me at work a few times while I was in the midst of dealing with house issues and other stuff and I really haven’t been in a place lately where a relationship is something I have time for. I’ve been more concerned about paying my bills due to my moneypit house house but that’s another story. For the record I’m not all bad to look at but guys have never been breaking down my door eather. I’m on the quiet reserved side when it comes to such things. I’m not shy anymore except when it comes to letting a guy know I’m interested too many I was interested in could care less for me so I’ve programed myself not to show interest anymore to avoid being hurt but now I no longer know how to let a guy know I’m interested.
 
I’ve been like that too, never knew a guy was interested because I am so shy. I have a male friend I am interested but he’s so shy too and it’s taken us a while to really start flirting. I don’t think he’s really dated either and I suspect this scares me like it does me.
 
I was married at forty years old and never thought I would be. My catholic friends prayed for me and advised me to say the Thirty Day Novena to St. Joseph. I also know a women who got married older than 43 by saying the 54 day Rosary novena. All fifteen decades every day 27 in petition and 27 in thanksgiving. She married a man who was a widower with a few kids when she was around 45. She met him after saying the rosary novena. I also went to St. Anne’s Shrine in Canada. Some woman told me she went up the Holy Stairs there on her knees for her mom who had severe arthritis and when she came back her mom’s arthritis was gone. I went up those stairs on my knees and noticed all these pictures of women on their wedding day. Please don’t give up. I will pray for you. God bless you always!
 
francsull said:
I was married at forty years old and never thought I would be. My catholic friends prayed for me and advised me to say the Thirty Day Novena to St. Joseph. I also know a women who got married older than 43 by saying the 54 day Rosary novena. All fifteen decades every day 27 in petition and 27 in thanksgiving. She married a man who was a widower with a few kids when she was around 45. She met him after saying the rosary novena. I also went to St. Anne’s Shrine in Canada. Some woman told me she went up the Holy Stairs there on her knees for her mom who had severe arthritis and when she came back her mom’s arthritis was gone. I went up those stairs on my knees and noticed all these pictures of women on their wedding day. Please don’t give up. I will pray for you. God bless you always!
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Francsull,

It appears that this is only your second post in five years (your join date says “December 5, 2009”), so allow me to be the first to say “Welcome Back!”
 
For all the singles out there, I find this Focus on the Family broadcast very encouraging yet realistic. Hope it helps! I’m single & searching as well, but I keep reminding myself to submit to God’s will for my life, whether that means if I’ll ever get married, or not. It’s not always easy but I think it’s the right thing to do. :yup:
 
TeachCatechism said:
But the thing is I have always been a good person and never was rewarded (meaning never met the one). At times I got used to it and didn’t care but it does hurt.
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I believe being a good person is the end it itself; that is, being good for the sake of it, for the goodness it brings into this world, IS the reward.

I also believe that if one is being good with the expectation of some sort of quid pro quo, expecting reward for being good, then the goodness is contaminated by a personal agenda. Expectations are planned resentments. Live without bargaining with God. Doors and windows will fly open.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
I’d like to speak in defense of TeachCatechism because I’m pretty sure I have an idea how she feels. It’s not that she doesn’t love God. It’s that she is losing faith in God, meaning she is losing trust.

The Bible is full of promises that God makes to the faithful that she feels he has not lived up to. These promises range from the specific (It is not good for man to be alone) to the general (Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find). She feels that these promises have been broken, that her trust has been betrayed. When you love someone, listening to them lie to you hurts all the more.

I’m not saying this line of thinking is correct, only that it is understandable. This is not about her putting God to the test. This is about God putting her to the test. All relationship counselors agree: if you test the people you love, you only drive them away. An omniscient God should know that.
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REALLY well said. I’m so glad you said it, thank you. That’s exactly it.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
I’d like to speak in defense of TeachCatechism because I’m pretty sure I have an idea how she feels. It’s not that she doesn’t love God. It’s that she is losing faith in God, meaning she is losing trust.

The Bible is full of promises that God makes to the faithful that she feels he has not lived up to. These promises range from the specific (It is not good for man to be alone) to the general (Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find). She feels that these promises have been broken, that her trust has been betrayed. When you love someone, listening to them lie to you hurts all the more.

I’m not saying this line of thinking is correct, only that it is understandable. This is not about her putting God to the test. This is about God putting her to the test. All relationship counselors agree: if you test the people you love, you only drive them away. An omniscient God should know that.
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Satan desired to test Job in order to prove to God that humans would turn away from God if they lost all their material prosperity. God allowed Satan that, and Job was faithful. God asks each of us to to remember Him and prove faithful so that He can answer Satan. Proverbs 27:11 Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart,
so that I can answer whoever taunts me.[f]
[f] A father’s command to a son to be wise, another way of saying that sons or daughters bring joy or shame to their parents.
 
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