If you are a Christian, what is the real reason for you not being a Catholic? - 2

[Pixie_Dust]

Just joined the group about 2 weeks ago. I am 52 yr old, always single man. Left the CC at 24 - have only attended an occasional Mass to placate visiting relatives as a good host or guest. Baptized in 1955, confirmed 1962 (Fr Timothy Manning - future LA, CA Cardinal), 1st Holy Communion in 1966.

Had a sporadic Catholic education - Catholic boarding school from 7-11 years old, then a variety of public and private schools until my 1975 HS graduation.

Quite simply, I grew up with a very authoritarian view of God, the CC – basically, I was told to shut up from all parties for my Q’s about the CC. From 7-11, went to Mass 5 days a week – all I ever learned from the CC was blind obedience to rules, expectations and authority. Funny thing is - I saw all of the same in the large “evangelical/non-denominational” churches I attended in Southern California over 32 years.

I readily admit that none of the Protestant churches can be the true Church that Christ created or intended. I am only receptive to re-exploring the CC I never knew or learned about in my childhood. I am not ready to rejoin the CC – I have too much pain, anger, confusion and negative expectations of not being loved or accepted by any CC person for my long absence. I expect to be scolded, ridiculed, scorned and rejected. I prefer the anonymity of the Internet to safely explore my questions without meeting other Catholics. I’d like to have a better understanding of what I was supposed to get in my childhood – unfortunately, I have too much anger and mistrust to expect any real change in my heart.

But I appreciate everyone’s insights. I just don’t know where to begin in my spiritual journey today.

Read Luke 15. You will not be scolded, ridiculed, scorned or rejected if you decide to return to the Church. You will be welcomed home with arms wide open. :hug3:

 

[awantz]

Please forgive my ignorance, but I am confused about your marriage. Are you talking about your present marriage to your present husband, are were you married before?

Yes, I am talking about my present marriage to my present husband and yes, I was married before.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Yes, I am talking about my present marriage to my present husband and yes, I was married before.

Was your prior marriage recognized by the Church? If your husband is receiving the Sacraments, validly, it sounds like the Church does not recognize your prior marriage?

 

[awantz]

Was your prior marriage recognized by the Church? If your husband is receiving the Sacraments, validly, it sounds like the Church does not recognize your prior marriage?

I went to get an anullment and I found out that my ex is Catholic, he was abusive in every way possible, and he threatened to kill me if I didn’t have an abortion. With all that being said I got my anullment.

 

[Memaw]

I went to get an anullment and I found out that my ex is Catholic, he was abusive in every way possible, and he threatened to kill me if I didn’t have an abortion. With all that being said I got my anullment.

You didn’t know your ex was Catholic until you got an annulment??? Were you married in the Catholic Church to him? If not, then your marriage was not a sacrament to begin with. So that problems seems to be solved, whats next?? I’m not trying to be nosey, but just trying to help you figure out why you think your not welcome in the Catholic Church. I don’t understand why you feel that way.

 

[Memaw]

My marriage took place outside the Catholic Church, but it was accepted by the Catholic Church. My husband who is Catholic is able to participate fully in all the sacraments. I am not Catholic and yet I was able to take part in the sacrament of reconciliation when I want too and as far as Communion I take part in it at my church and according to some other Catholics I’ve talked to, Pope Benedict is working on making it possible for me to take Communion in the Catholic church. I am in a state of grace and I do strive to remain that way. I am not Catholic. I’ve made that clear in my previos posts. I am not blaming anyone for any of my choices. If anything I blame myself for other people’s mistakes. At least that is what I have had others tell me that I do.

If your first marriage is annulled, (evidently by the civil courts), right?? and your second marriage is “accepted” by the Church, that means you had to have been married the second time in the Catholic Church. Am I right so far?? Then all you have to do is take a class if instructions, RCIA, and see if you truly want to become a Catholic. Please, don’t listen to “some Catholics I know” who are telling you that Pope Benedict is "working " on making it possible for you to take Communion. You need to talk to a priest that will help you figure this out. Sad to say, many Catholics do not really understand their faith or they like to pick and choose what they believe. So their opinion is not always reliable.

 

[awantz]

You didn’t know your ex was Catholic until you got an annulment??? Were you married in the Catholic Church to him? If not, then your marriage was not a sacrament to begin with. So that problems seems to be solved, whats next?? I’m not trying to be nosey, but just trying to help you figure out why you think your not welcome in the Catholic Church. I don’t understand why you feel that way.

I did not know he was Catholic until the annulment. We were not married in the Catholic Church. I don’t know. I don’t mind. It partially has to do with the way I have been treated by 50% of the Priests I know.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Please, don’t listen to “some Catholics I know” who are telling you that Pope Benedict is "working " on making it possible for you to take Communion. You need to talk to a priest that will help you figure this out. Sad to say, many Catholics do not really understand their faith or they like to pick and choose what they believe. So their opinion is not always reliable.

You are so right. I feel really awful for them, because they are missing out on the true joy of being 100% in Christ. I have seen some of my own friends fall away. One good friend was a convert to Catholicism. Then she got divorced, then she decided the CC didn’t make her renounce her former denomination, that she could be both, so she joined one of their ministries. It was a good ministry, but one that furthered the mission of the former denominaton. Then she decided it was ok to go to other Churches on Sundays instead of mass. And began to receive at these other services. Now she is living with her female ‘partner’ from the ministry of her former denomination. And she still stood up as a sponsor at Confirmation, walked right up and received.

 

[awantz]

If your first marriage is annulled, (evidently by the civil courts), right?? and your second marriage is “accepted” by the Church, that means you had to have been married the second time in the Catholic Church. Am I right so far?? Then all you have to do is take a class if instructions, RCIA, and see if you truly want to become a Catholic. Please, don’t listen to “some Catholics I know” who are telling you that Pope Benedict is "working " on making it possible for you to take Communion. You need to talk to a priest that will help you figure this out. Sad to say, many Catholics do not really understand their faith or they like to pick and choose what they believe. So their opinion is not always reliable.

No, it was annulled by the Catholic Church. Yes, it is accepted by the church. The marriage was not in a Catholic Church, but we got the approval of the Catholic Church to get married in a Missionary Church. I have taken RCIA and I went to confession, but I was never confirmed and never took first communion in a Catholic Church.

 

[qui_est_ce]

I did not know he was Catholic until the annulment. We were not married in the Catholic Church. I don’t know. I don’t mind. It partially has to do with the way I have been treated by 50% of the Priests I know.

It sounds like you are still bitter. I have known a few cranky priests, but most of them are genuinely happy in their priesthood and would be more than happy to hear from you. Please give them a second chance. Is your husband a practicing Catholic? Your marriage would so benefit if you both grow in your faith together.

 

[awantz]

You are so right. I feel really awful for them, because they are missing out on the true joy of being 100% in Christ. I have seen some of my own friends fall away. One good friend was a convert to Catholicism. Then she got divorced, then she decided the CC didn’t make her renounce her former denomination, that she could be both, so she joined one of their ministries. It was a good ministry, but one that furthered the mission of the former denominaton. Then she decided it was ok to go to other Churches on Sundays instead of mass. And began to receive at these other services. Now she is living with her female ‘partner’ from the ministry of her former denomination. And she still stood up as a sponsor at Confirmation, walked right up and received.

That is crazy. I don’t know any denomination Catholic or not that would allow her gay behavior.

 

[awantz]

It sounds like you are still bitter. I have known a few cranky priests, but most of them are genuinely happy in their priesthood and would be more than happy to hear from you. Please give them a second chance. Is your husband a practicing Catholic? Your marriage would so benefit if you both grow in your faith together.

My husband knows how I feel and he dosen’t think that I’m bitter. At least 1/3 of the Priests I know act like they don’t even want to talk to me. Yes, my husband is Catholic. Our faiths are so similar that it would seem to others that we share the same faith.

 

[qui_est_ce]

That is crazy. I don’t know any denomination Catholic or not that would allow her gay behavior.

Well, I’m not the judge of that, some do (Episcopalians). My point was you can’t pick and chose, and some “Catholics” will tell you it’s ok to have open communion, or women priests. We had those “ordinations” right here in St Louis in November. I may not always understand WHY the Church teaches something, but I trust her to teach me Truth. Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s the right thing to do.

 

[Memaw]

No, it was annulled by the Catholic Church. Yes, it is accepted by the church. The marriage was not in a Catholic Church, but we got the approval of the Catholic Church to get married in a Missionary Church. I have taken RCIA and I went to confession, but I was never confirmed and never took first communion in a Catholic Church.

OK, so it seems that your marriage situation is all taken care of properly, and you have taken RCIA classes. You say you’ve gone to Confession, but did you receive Absolution, without actually being a Catholic yet? That is not possible, I don’t think, unless the priest did not know you weren’t a catholic yet. I realize you can “go to confession” and talk to a priest, but he is not supposed to give absolution if he knows you are not Catholic. Let me ask one more question, have you ever been Baptized at all? I am totally puzzled as to why you say you are unhappy with the way you were treated by %50 of the priests you know. How many priests have you known and what do “you” think the problem is? I have known many, many priest in my day, and while I have met a few that I thought were off base on some things, I found the majority of them to be good and devoted men of God. And believe me, I have had to have the help of many in my lifetime.

 

[Memaw]

That is crazy. I don’t know any denomination Catholic or not that would allow her gay behavior.

Sad to say there are some denominations that do accept that behavior. I have heard of it from my protestant friends, in fact some think the Catholic Church is too strict on it. It is usually up to the individual Minister, they tell me. The Catholic Church calls everyone to chastity if they want to be in good standing with their faith and receive the Sacraments properly. If they are sinning and still go to Communion, then they need to read 1 Corinthians 11: 27. “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the Body and Blood of the Lord.” Theres more, you can read it yourself.

 

[awantz]

OK, so it seems that your marriage situation is all taken care of properly, and you have taken RCIA classes. You say you’ve gone to Confession, but did you receive Absolution, without actually being a Catholic yet? That is not possible, I don’t think, unless the priest did not know you weren’t a catholic yet. I realize you can “go to confession” and talk to a priest, but he is not supposed to give absolution if he knows you are not Catholic. Let me ask one more question, have you ever been Baptized at all? I am totally puzzled as to why you say you are unhappy with the way you were treated by %50 of the priests you know. How many priests have you known and what do “you” think the problem is? I have known many, many priest in my day, and while I have met a few that I thought were off base on some things, I found the majority of them to be good and devoted men of God. And believe me, I have had to have the help of many in my lifetime.

He knew I was not Catholic. My husband went first and made sure he knew and that he was OK with it. My sins have already been absolved by God, I didn’t need him to do that. I went to learn and I had somthing I wanted to tell someone of religious authority, but I didn’t want to talk to my pastor. Yes, I have been baptized. I think the older priests, the ones I have an issue with, are against anyone who is not a confirmed Catholic and a regular attender of their church.

 

[awantz]

Sad to say there are some denominations that do accept that behavior. I have heard of it from my protestant friends, in fact some think the Catholic Church is too strict on it. It is usually up to the individual Minister, they tell me. The Catholic Church calls everyone to chastity if they want to be in good standing with their faith and receive the Sacraments properly. If they are sinning and still go to Communion, then they need to read 1 Corinthians 11: 27. “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the Body and Blood of the Lord.” Theres more, you can read it yourself.

Well, then those churches do not deserve to call themselves christian churches. That is not the way it is in the churches and denominations I’ve been members of. I don’t think the Catholic Church is to stict on this.

 

[MelanieAnne]

The sort of description “I think the older priests, the ones I have an issue with, are against anyone who is not a confirmed Catholic” could never be applied to any of the priests in my parish. Not the younger ones, and not the older ones either.

 

[qui_est_ce]

The sort of description “I think the older priests, the ones I have an issue with, are against anyone who is not a confirmed Catholic” could never be applied to any of the priests in my parish. Not the younger ones, and not the older ones either.

We have Grampa, Dad, and Son in our parish. (80, 55, 40) what a hoot. They work so well together. Actually, I should say their joy of being priests radiates.

 

[MelanieAnne]

We have Grampa, Dad, and Son in our parish. (80, 55, 40) what a hoot. They work so well together. Actually, I should say their joy of being priests radiates.

We have 2 “Grandpas”, although one is a snowbird from Canada and is only with us during the Winter, then we have one more-or-less my age (the Pastor) and 2 younger ones. We’re lucky to have 4 for part of the year and 5 for the rest.

When people speak of bad experiences with priests, I am unable to identify with them. I suppose I am fortunate. All of our priests have unique, wonderful gifts. And yet they work together seamlessly. I am awed by the sacrifices they make in their lives for our benefit.