If you confess face to face, my hat's off to you!

[thequeen]

When I made my first confession as a convert after Father baptised and confirmed me I requested that I be able to go to confession He asked me did I want to go behind the screen or confess face to face I told hime well Father you have seen me already so I might as well go face to face but do not worry eventhough the priest know syou and every rotten thing you have confessed to him he will keep it to himself because he is under the seal of confession no matter what is confessed in fact he is so under the seal that if someone came face to face and confessed that they had stolen money from another parish that they had worked in and had stolen moneyfrom the churchs bank account and even confessed to stealing several identities in another parish and they come to the parish to apply for a job as the parish bookkeeper the priest still cannot say anything

 

[lux_perpetua]

i love face-to-face confession and am annoyed when i must confess with a screen. it helps me because it makes me realize that when i come before the face of God, there will certainly be no screen to hide behind. so if i am so embarrassed to confess to a mere man… welll…

also, i do think that f-t-f tend to be longer confessions. they make me feel like i am actually getting spiritual growth and advice from the priest, and not just popping in like any number of lemmings in a line waiting for the static words of absolution and the standard penance of “1 our father and 1 hail Mary”. i think that maybe if more people had this experience with lengthier [and more fruitful advice-wise] confessions, that our parishes might be forced to provide more confession times instead of the meager once-a-month, or half-hour-before-8-am-Mass that so many of us are used to.

In our parish, the priest is seated at the far side of a screen that’s only about 3’ high off the ground. He can see who you are immediately, and if you want to use the screen, you have to kneel in front of it. I just figure that he knows it’s me anyway, so I go ahead and have a seat opposite him and confess.

I think it’s way more embarrassing for me than for him. And I have to say that face-to-face confession is a great deterrent for some sins!

 

[lux_perpetua]

I just cannot go face-to-face. I have been catholic all my life and for the past 26 years I have worked in a job that requires me to interact with all the parishes in the area. As a result, I know all the priests well. I am anguished with a sin from many years ago but I cannot bring myself to confess it to any of these priests, knowing that he will then know about this, and I do not think I could face him in the course of my job. I know that any of them would know me, even behind the screen.
The closest church that I do not work with is 40 miles away and I cannot get there easily.
I pray so hard for forgiveness and I hope that someday I can find a priest that I do not know.

i understand your predicament completely. but remember, actively withholding a sin, especially a grave one, knowingly in the confessional is itself a mortal sin. perhaps the heaviness on your heart is the Holy Spirit urging you on to confess what has been on your conscious. just imagine how wonderfully light and free you will feel after relinquishing that burden unto God?

Also, think of those in the religious life, who frequently must confess their sins to a priest they might know quite well. let’s take courage and strength from them.

 

[Benn]

Thank You BeachComber for your response…Strangely enough you are the only response I got…none from professing Catholic…Many Catholics I have noticed don’t really know why they believe what they do. However there are a lot of Protestants who are the same,

One of the things that troubles me about the Catholic church more than the confession thing it that they believe that they are the “True Church” and anyone that is not a Catholic is lost out side of her.

Needless to say I never have believed that.

Benn

 

[Joannm]

I just cannot go face-to-face. I have been catholic all my life and for the past 26 years I have worked in a job that requires me to interact with all the parishes in the area. As a result, I know all the priests well. I am anguished with a sin from many years ago but I cannot bring myself to confess it to any of these priests, knowing that he will then know about this, and I do not think I could face him in the course of my job. I know that any of them would know me, even behind the screen.
The closest church that I do not work with is 40 miles away and I cannot get there easily.
I pray so hard for forgiveness and I hope that someday I can find a priest that I do not know.

I work for the Church and I know a large number of priests and I prefer to go to one I know and face to face. The only exception is I will not go to confession to any priest I currently work with. However, my usual confessor knows every little thing (and every big one I might add), and had never ever said anything to me about my sins (he can’t) or made any indication that it affects his perception of me. In fact, we have become closer since I began going to confession to him and we have become very good friends. I am more uncomfortable going to priests I don’t know and I would hate to go behind a screen as it brings me back to a very bad confession experience in childhood.

 

[AllForYou]

Hello to all,
I am not Catholic but I respect your beliefs.

Why do you have to confess your sins to a man…other than the Man Jesus Christ? When Jesus was crucified the the veil was rent into permitting us to go into the presence of God personally…no mediator other the Christ.

Man cannot forgive sins only God.

Benn

Hi! When we confess our sins, we are not confessing them to the priest but to Jesus - the priest being the representative of Christ. Through hearing our confession, the priest is able to give us guidance and a fitting penance that we might be more able to stay away from sin and atone somewhat for our previous sins . Although we do not need to do penance for our sins because Jesus has already redeemed us, it is a way to show that we are truly sorry for our sins. By going to confession we are able to receive more help and guidance to resist temptation than by just going up to our room and making an act of contrition or w/e. Also, confession requires humility, which helps us to overcome sin and face temptation with strength.
I’m not sure if that helped in anyway.

 

[twopekinguys]

I’ve been to a face-to-face confession only twice. Fortunately, my sins were the banal kind–seriously, I couldn’t go face-to-face when I had something grave and serious to confess.

I asked my parish priest about whether he ‘put the face to the sin’ when he saw people whom he’d just heard in confession (obviously, it was face-to-face.) He told me that in all honesty, he just doesn’t remember. He thought he would remember, but he just doesn’t. Must be the Holy Spirit. That made me feel much better.

You have brought up an interesting point tha I would like to add to just a bit.

We have a rather large parish, and always have 2 priests in residence, and sometimes 3.

As these priests come and go, I always try to ask them one question.

Once you have heard someone’s confession, does it affect the way you interact with them outside of the confessional?

Each one of them has given a resounding NO.

This is something I always try to impress on our RCIA candidates when we have the class on reconcilliation. You should hear the huge sighs of relief.

Back to the OP.

We have both face to face and screened confessionals, I have done both. There are certain priests I prefer face to face, and others the screen.

 

[JimG]

I have talked to a few people younger than myself who happened to grow up in places where anonymous confession was not available, and they were required to go face to face. This was during their high school years.

A non-Catholic friend once asked one of them, “so, what did you confess?” He replied, “Not the truth, that’s for sure! I knew those priests too well for that!” I wondered then how many fake, bad confessions, were elicited from the combination of parental pressure and lack of anonymity.

 

[JimG]

also, i do think that f-t-f tend to be longer confessions.

I understand that can be a benefit. But it can also cause problems. In my own parish there are generally confession lines. The longer the confessions, the greater the chance that the ones at the end of the line will be left unshriven, to use an antiquated word.

 

[xixxvmcm85]

I went to confession face to face today for the first time in about 30 years. I’m a regular (every 2 -3 weeks) in-the-box type gal. Even when the priest knows me well, I’m happier behind the screen.

Today, it worked out another way. I hadn’t been able to get to regular confession times for too many weeks, I happened to be prepared, and the priest was hanging around the church 45 minutes before daily Mass as he usually does, in case he can greet someone or be of service in some way. So I asked if he had a few minutes and he said yes. He gestured to his confessional and asked if I wanted to go there or just sit in the big church. I let him decide, so we went and sat in a pew.

OHMYGOODNESS! I didn’t know I was capable of turning so many shades of red. I’ve had a number of deep conversations with him outside of confession, and he knows a lot about me and my family and my secrets, but NOTHING compares to accusing yourself of your sins right there IN PERSON!!! He was very kind and didn’t seem to notice what color I had turned. And if you’re hesitant to go to confession, please don’t take this post the wrong way - it’s really just fine - really. It’s just hard to teach an old dog like me a new trick like face to face.

As I said in the thread title, if you do this all the time, my hat’s off to you! :tiphat:

Betsy

Aren’t we glad that we aren’t in the 1st century when the normative confession was public!?

 

[ML561]

I am fortunate to belong to a church where confessions are offered daily. (behind the screen), however, the priests are more than willing to make appointments for face-to-face confessions in their rectory offices. I have done both. When something is really troubling I make an appointment to see the priest in person.

As a convert, I know how nervous one can be in making a confession. I was 21 years old when I was received into the church and my first confession took an hour! I was scared that the priest would decide that I was too bad to be let in…that did not happen of course, and when I left I felt as though a thousand pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. I now come to confession at least once a month, whether in the booth or face to face. The last time I was at confession I knew I needed to go, had just been to early Mass and went into the sanctuary to pray for a while, and the priest had just gone into the booth ready to hear daily confessions. The light was on and a little voice told me “Go in!” I was so glad I did.

I truly believe that the more frequently you receive the Sacrament of Penance the more peace of mind you will have. Also, one priest told me that frequent confession will keep you honest. I struggle with sins that keep cropping up in my life and sometimes feel hopeless about them. Yet, each time I go to confession, the priest invariably says that he is glad I am there, and so is God. He would rather I be there than not.

That said, I have a very dear friend who went through RCIA almost two years ago. He was baptized and received into the church but has not yet been to confession. He feels as though his sins are unpardonable and that he would be excommunicated were these sins to be confessed. Most of his problem seems to stem from the fact that he served in the Marine Corps during wartime and was in combat. I have told him many times that no priest will be shocked by anything a penitent will tell him, and have even set up appointments with him to talk with a priest, only to have him back out at the last minute.
I don’t like to keep harping on him about this, but it seems to me that he really needs to go to confession, and that it would give him peace of mind. He has some idea that the priest will yell at him or kick him out of the church, and nothing I can say in the way of reassurance has helped. At this time I am just praying for him, and trying to set the best example I can as a fellow Catholic. If anyone has suggestions, please help. Peace be with you.

 

[whatevergirl]

I went to confession face to face today for the first time in about 30 years. I’m a regular (every 2 -3 weeks) in-the-box type gal. Even when the priest knows me well, I’m happier behind the screen.

Today, it worked out another way. I hadn’t been able to get to regular confession times for too many weeks, I happened to be prepared, and the priest was hanging around the church 45 minutes before daily Mass as he usually does, in case he can greet someone or be of service in some way. So I asked if he had a few minutes and he said yes. He gestured to his confessional and asked if I wanted to go there or just sit in the big church. I let him decide, so we went and sat in a pew.

OHMYGOODNESS! I didn’t know I was capable of turning so many shades of red. I’ve had a number of deep conversations with him outside of confession, and he knows a lot about me and my family and my secrets, but NOTHING compares to accusing yourself of your sins right there IN PERSON!!! He was very kind and didn’t seem to notice what color I had turned. And if you’re hesitant to go to confession, please don’t take this post the wrong way - it’s really just fine - really. It’s just hard to teach an old dog like me a new trick like face to face.

As I said in the thread title, if you do this all the time, my hat’s off to you! :tiphat:

Betsy

aw, that’s great betsy! I have been only a handful of times during my life, face to face with no sheath or screen. It bothered me the first time, but not after that. I PREFER the screen though, I don’t know why, but like you, just feel more comfortable. But, good for you, maybe you’ll do it more now? Yes no? *

 

[birdie74]

I work for the Church and I know a large number of priests and I prefer to go to one I know and face to face. The only exception is I will not go to confession to any priest I currently work with. However, my usual confessor knows every little thing (and every big one I might add), and had never ever said anything to me about my sins (he can’t) or made any indication that it affects his perception of me. In fact, we have become closer since I began going to confession to him and we have become very good friends. I am more uncomfortable going to priests I don’t know and I would hate to go behind a screen as it brings me back to a very bad confession experience in childhood.

I work for the Church too - I just started about 6 months ago. I confessed to my pastor before I started working for him, so I just kept doing it. It’s behind the screen…I have no idea whether or not he recognizes me. Do you think they can recognize voices easily? Maybe I should start going somewhere else…

But yeah, if it were face-to-face, I’d probably drive 2 hours away every time! And I wouldn’t be able to look at him. Plus I would be distracted - more worried about keeping my cool in front of the priest than thinking about God.

One thing I did once that I really liked - at one confessional there was a crucifix out that you could kiss before you confessed. It was really moving and I never doubted that it was Jesus I was talking to. I wish more places would have that.

 

[baltobetsy]

But, good for you, maybe you’ll do it more now? Yes no? *

NO! All finished with face to face, thank you. Next time, I’m back behind the screen where I belong!

Betsy

 

[davinpa]

I have done both, though.
Once, after mass at school, our chaplain was having quite a line for confessions. The other person available was only the bishop. I had to rush, but something was telling me to go for confession. So I couraged myself to actually ask the bishop to hear my confession. He shoo-ed everybody else, and heard my confession, standing in a relatively crowded place. He gave quite a few advise, sternly, and the penance was extraordinarily cruel in my opinion. It lasted for around 5 minutes IIRC. Has anyone ever confessed to a bishop?

 

[palmas85]

I have done both, though.
Once, after mass at school, our chaplain was having quite a line for confessions. The other person available was only the bishop. I had to rush, but something was telling me to go for confession. So I couraged myself to actually ask the bishop to hear my confession. He shoo-ed everybody else, and heard my confession, standing in a relatively crowded place. He gave quite a few advise, sternly, and the penance was extraordinarily cruel in my opinion. It lasted for around 5 minutes IIRC. Has anyone ever confessed to a bishop?

Back when I used to go to daily Mass at St Josephs Cathedral in San Diego, Bishop Chavez heard confessions almost every day and afterwards celebrated Mass. It was truly a humbling experience to have the Bishop hear my confessions.

 

[Joannm]

I have done both, though.
Once, after mass at school, our chaplain was having quite a line for confessions. The other person available was only the bishop. I had to rush, but something was telling me to go for confession. So I couraged myself to actually ask the bishop to hear my confession. He shoo-ed everybody else, and heard my confession, standing in a relatively crowded place. He gave quite a few advise, sternly, and the penance was extraordinarily cruel in my opinion. It lasted for around 5 minutes IIRC. Has anyone ever confessed to a bishop?

What was cruel about it…now that you’ve got our interest peaked. I have never heard anyone describe a penance as cruel?

 

[JimG]

Has anyone ever confessed to a bishop?

Once my wife and I went to Saturday confession at our parish, in the confessional. Afterwards, we discussed who the priest had been, since we didn’t recognize his voice as any of our priests. Later, it became apparent that the confessor was the bishop, who was helping out, and also celebrated the Saturday evening Mass. He seemed pretty easy as a confessor!

 

[onmyknees]

Thank You BeachComber for your response…Strangely enough you are the only response I got…none from professing Catholic…Many Catholics I have noticed don’t really know why they believe what they do. However there are a lot of Protestants who are the same,

One of the things that troubles me about the Catholic church more than the confession thing it that they believe that they are the “True Church” and anyone that is not a Catholic is lost out side of her.

Needless to say I never have believed that.

Benn

Hi Ben,
I just wanted to explain that the Catholic Church does not teach that non-Catholics are not saved. It teaches that anyone can be saved. And if they are saved they will be saved by Jesus Christ through His One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church founded by Jesus Christ. This teaching is in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I also wanted to explain why we Catholics confess to a priest. Jesus himself gave the apostles ( the first bishops and priests) the authority to forgive sins. John 20:21-23 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any they are retained.” Jesus also gave these same men the authority to bind and loose. Matt16:18-19 " And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my Church and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Hope this helps.

 

[Besetta]

What exactly does “saved” mean? That concept is extremely vague. Does a “saved” person have some sort of “ticket to heaven”, and an “unsaved” person does not? What happens to “unsaved” people? Suppose you live a good life of service to others, honest work, and dedication to your family. BUT you never go to church, was never baptised, and generally have nothing to do with religion? Do you then go to “hell” when you die?