I'm a confused atheist

[prodigalson12]

Right now, please write down every tidbit you come across with your findings, where God has to fit into the picture, especially in the world of science, these tend to get lost during the conversion process, they are precious jewels that need to be preserved for future generations that are in your situation as well as can be used when it comes to debate with the Atheists, we and you will find useful some day.

Having these conclusions come from one that did not believe will hold more weight among your peers, and if this story is true, it’s clearly God directly intervening which is not something to take lightly.

 

[Liz_J]

First off, this might be in the wrong forum. I’m guessing. :
I kind of want to just go back to being confident and happy in my non-belief. It was easier.

I can understand that. Most of us prefer to stick with those beliefs that we’re comfortable with. Challenging our beliefs (or lack of beliefs) is never easy. It’s hard to question things and realise that some of what we believed may not be true. Especially if it means making changes in your life. And to explore the Christian faith may lead you on a journey that completely turns your life around. And that’s pretty scary!

But just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. Nobody who stands on an Olympic podium or publishes their first book or invents a cure for a medical disease or even saves up the deposit for a house or achieves any number of things does so because it was easy. None of these things are easy. But they are worthwhile. So people do them, despite the fact that they are challenging.

And so if you want to stick with what’s easy, I would suggest forget about all your thoughts about Catholicism. Go back to your atheist beliefs. They’re easy. But if you don’t want to simply go for the easy option, then start your journey of faith. Start exploring what Christianity says. Ask some of those tough and uncomfortable questions. It may not be an easy journey, but it is definitely worthwhile.

Liz

 

[flyingfish]

Wow! Lots of responses. Thanks to everyone. I’m not sure what to say.
This whole thing is confusing me, and I don’t need confusion right now.
I’m trying to just come to terms with God existing, which is difficult after so many years of thinking otherwise. I mean, why would I feel this way now, but not before?
I’m a science major, I’m supposed to think logically and not believe what can’t be observed. But I’m finding it harder to not see God in science, as backwards as that sounds.
It’s been a year since I guess I started believing in God, and it’s frustrating to not talk to anyone about it, not even be able to go to church because I’m so worried how other people would react. They’d consider it a bad thing, just like I would have a while back. But it doesn’t feel like I’m being sucked into something stupid, it feels right.
Sorry if I ramble when I type, I’m pretty tired.

Question - what is meant by cafeteria Catholic?
I’m definitely going to check out that blog too

Why are you so afraid of how people would react?

I think you have to try to change this about yourself, because you have just spent a whole year unable to pursue something you want to pursue because of what other people might think. This is not a good place to be, it would be very sad if you missed out on parts of life because of a concern for the opinions of others.

What do you think they would do if you started attending church?

 

[prodigalson12]

Why are you so afraid of how people would react?

I think you have to try to change this about yourself, because you have just spent a whole year unable to pursue something you want to pursue because of what other people might think. This is not a good place to be, it would be very sad if you missed out on parts of life because of a concern for the opinions of others.

What do you think they would do if you started attending church?

Yeah, what other people think, as in, being felt in warm regards among the people that you are around… I can very much counter with this one though, the company you are about to keep will by far be much more loyal, much more in your corner on the deepest levels then anybody you will ever encounter in the worldly past. Trust me on this one, it’s a circle of true friends, we are brethren in Christ and admission is simple and cheap “free”!!! The distressing part here for many, they don’t get connected with new friends that are believers soon enough, so are stuck with getting extradited since you have just moved your being a step forward… There are other major bennies I’m going to keep to myself as well, but trust me here, you have absolutely nothing to lose here at all, and again, if this poster is being serious…

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Why are you so afraid of how people would react?

I think you have to try to change this about yourself, because you have just spent a whole year unable to pursue something you want to pursue because of what other people might think. This is not a good place to be, it would be very sad if you missed out on parts of life because of a concern for the opinions of others.

Cool down . . . remember, it’s hard and painful to endure a lot of damaged relationships, following one’s conscience. That is what you’re calling on Pi314 to do. That’s what she should do, I agree. But it isn’t easy and she is here, moving in the right direction, learning about God and the journey she’s being called to take. God bless her.

 

[Timbothefiveth]

First off, this might be in the wrong forum. I’m guessing. :\

So, I’m an atheist, have been for years. Suddenly the whole atheism thing isn’t feeling right. I feel like I’m missing something, but I can’t put my finger on what (I got into a good school, I love my job, I have wonderful friends). But it’s not something I can talk about to much of anyone. All my friends are atheists. All the professors I’m close to (and usually talk to) are atheists too. Anyone I talked to, if they know me, would think I’m a crazy hypocrite.
I guess what’s bugging me is this interest in God, and Catholicism specifically, having been an atheist for so long. I don’t like it when I don’t have a logical explanation for something. I don’t have an explanation for this. And it’s not like it’s been one day, it’s been almost a year of feeling like this. Seriously, I woke up one morning last December and thought “I should be a nun”. Which is ridiculous of course since I’m an atheist, and that’s like the extreme end of religion. But I can’t get that line of thinking out of my head.
I looked into becoming a Catholic, but then I always stop short, because everyone I know would think I’m a nutty hypocrite to change my mind like that.
I don’t even know what I’m talking about really. Just wanted to get it out… I’m just all confused. I kind of want to just go back to being confident and happy in my non-belief. It was easier.

I understand how you feel. It just happens one day. My advice is take the plunge and convert, it’s pretty awesome.

I’m a science major, I’m supposed to think logically and not believe what can’t be observed. But I’m finding it harder to not see God in science, as backwards as that sounds.
It’s been a year since I guess I started believing in God, and it’s frustrating to not talk to anyone about it, not even be able to go to church because I’m so worried how other people would react. They’d consider it a bad thing, just like I would have a while back. But it doesn’t feel like I’m being sucked into something stupid, it feels right.

You don’t even have to tell them.

Converting wouldn’t make you a hypocrite either. Suppose you had a hypothesis about some other issue, then had good reason to reject that, would that make you a hypocrite? No, it would make you ethical, responsible.

 

[Monica4316]

I was REALLY afraid telling my friends and family that I’m becoming Catholic… but in the end it was worth it I didn’t tell them for a while though… and it’s alright to wait.

“pray, hope, and don’t worry” (St Padre Pio)

:hug1:

 

[Holly3278]

First off, this might be in the wrong forum. I’m guessing. :\

So, I’m an atheist, have been for years. Suddenly the whole atheism thing isn’t feeling right. I feel like I’m missing something, but I can’t put my finger on what (I got into a good school, I love my job, I have wonderful friends). But it’s not something I can talk about to much of anyone. All my friends are atheists. All the professors I’m close to (and usually talk to) are atheists too. Anyone I talked to, if they know me, would think I’m a crazy hypocrite.
I guess what’s bugging me is this interest in God, and Catholicism specifically, having been an atheist for so long. I don’t like it when I don’t have a logical explanation for something. I don’t have an explanation for this. And it’s not like it’s been one day, it’s been almost a year of feeling like this. Seriously, I woke up one morning last December and thought “I should be a nun”. Which is ridiculous of course since I’m an atheist, and that’s like the extreme end of religion. But I can’t get that line of thinking out of my head.
I looked into becoming a Catholic, but then I always stop short, because everyone I know would think I’m a nutty hypocrite to change my mind like that.
I don’t even know what I’m talking about really. Just wanted to get it out… I’m just all confused. I kind of want to just go back to being confident and happy in my non-belief. It was easier.

What is missing from your life is God. You need to start praying and start attending a good Catholic Church. I strongly encourage you to sign up for RCIA (you might have to start next year since most RCIA programs have already begun) and learn more about Catholicism. See if it is what you are looking for. I believe it is myself.

 

[Pi314]

I’m going to reply more throughly a little later, but I must say that I’m sick of the implication that I’m not being serious. If that’s how you feel, no one is forcing you to keep posting on this thread.

 

[Pi314]

Converting wouldn’t make you a hypocrite either. Suppose you had a hypothesis about some other issue, then had good reason to reject that, would that make you a hypocrite? No, it would make you ethical, responsible.

That’s so true.

Why are you so afraid of how people would react?

I think you have to try to change this about yourself, because you have just spent a whole year unable to pursue something you want to pursue because of what other people might think. This is not a good place to be, it would be very sad if you missed out on parts of life because of a concern for the opinions of others.

What do you think they would do if you started attending church?

It’s only part that, it’s also that I’ve finally got things in my life arranged how I want them.
Yeah, I know it’s not good to always worry about what others think, but I’ve got a bit of an issue with that. I’m much better with it than I was a few years ago, I’ve had anxiety problems for a long time.

So, what does RCIA involve? Does it matter if I’m still unsure about all this stuff?

Sorry I can’t seem to respond like I want to, I’m still pretty exhausted.

 

[prodigalson12]

RCIA is actually open to anybody that wants to learn, regardless if they join the faith, it’s an excellent jumping off point to get you to understand what the Catholic church is about. I suspect though, you will likely follow it through to the end and this will mean becoming Catholic in the process.

Don’t take offense to my stance here, we have many threads that have been terminated because charletons would post similar stories as yours, so it’s natural skepticism in play, nothing personal against you at all and you would be doing the same thing as I, if you experienced what I have on these boards.

 

[Langdell]

Pi314 – Sorry I’m late to the discussion. If it’s any help, I was an atheist for many years before returning to Catholicism earlier this year.

As someone else said above, God is calling you. He calls everyone, but some people tune Him out. I tuned Him out for decades. But finally (and fortunately!), He caused or allowed certain things to happen in my life that made me pay attention to His call.

I’ve been studying and praying steadily since my “reconversion,” and I feel as if my experience of life has completely changed.

God bless you!

 

[Student09]

By the way, I don’t know if you are interested in philosophy at all, but you might check out St Thomas Aquinas, who is a Doctor of the Church from the Middle Ages. His writings really helped me to see that faith and reason are compatible (in fact, I don’t think I even knew what reason was until I started reading his writings), and they are interesting as well. Read his 5 arguments for the existence of God in the Summa Theologica - I recommend a book of his selected original writings called “An Introduction to St Thomas Aquinas,” published by Modern Library, which has his arguments for God near the beginning. You will see that there ARE indeed rational arguments for the existence of God! Many of St Thomas’ arguments rely on the acceptance of Biblical revelation, but his arguments for the existence of God do not - they rely only on nature.

 

[Musician]

To the OP:
Take baby steps. “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”
My husband was agnostic for many years. He is also a science person. He needed empirical evidence to believe in God. It is there if you look.
I believe God is calling you. My prayers are with you.

 

[Pi314]

Don’t take offense to my stance here, we have many threads that have been terminated because charletons would post similar stories as yours, so it’s natural skepticism in play, nothing personal against you at all and you would be doing the same thing as I, if you experienced what I have on these boards.

Okies. I took it personally before, but yeah, I guess if fakers happen often enough you get suspicious.

I actually just found a book (I’m in the library to study so I don’t fail organic chem). It was mis-shelved and was in with the chemistry books, it’s called the Language of God and has DNA on the cover (which is maybe why it ended up in the wrong spot? I dunno). From what I read on the back cover it’s about God and science, so I checked it out of the library. I’ll probably start reading it tonight.
I tried finding the Thomas Aquinas book, but our system for the library isn’t working right, so that will have to wait.
Started reading the blog, and it’s awesome.
I might start looking for RCIA, but I’m not sure that I want to jump into it yet. I’m still a bit on the fence.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Okies. I took it personally before, but yeah, I guess if fakers happen often enough you get suspicious.

I actually just found a book (I’m in the library to study so I don’t fail organic chem). It was mis-shelved and was in with the chemistry books, it’s called the Language of God and has DNA on the cover (which is maybe why it ended up in the wrong spot? I dunno). From what I read on the back cover it’s about God and science, so I checked it out of the library. I’ll probably start reading it tonight.
I tried finding the Thomas Aquinas book, but our system for the library isn’t working right, so that will have to wait.
Started reading the blog, and it’s awesome.
I might start looking for RCIA, but I’m not sure that I want to jump into it yet. I’m still a bit on the fence.

One step at a time . If I were you, I’d be praying now, though, that if God exists He’ll guide you along the way of life He wants you to walk and keep you securely on it. Just a recommendation! God bless!

~Lief

 

[lakotak]

One step at a time . If I were you, I’d be praying now, though, that if God exists He’ll guide you along the way of life He wants you to walk and keep you securely on it. Just a recommendation! God bless!

~Lief

I agree with Lief Erikson. One step at a time and prayer. With prayer, God will find you where you are now with Him, you won’t have to worry about finding Him first. Even in science, a scientist or doctor has to make that leap of faith, to believe, that his/her theory is right and that a proper diagnosis has been made. They have to look at the facts, but a theory or diagnosis only comes with a decision that is faith that he or she comes to the right conclusion with all the evidence at hand. The whole universe reveals the evidence of God’s existence, but faith is when you are willing to make that one small step forward to establish a personal relationship with Him. Take small steps, every journey begins with that first step and what a fantastic journey it will be. Be open to God, and He will come to you.

 

[psalm139a]

I actually just found a book (I’m in the library to study so I don’t fail organic chem). It was mis-shelved and was in with the chemistry books, it’s called the Language of God and has DNA on the cover (which is maybe why it ended up in the wrong spot? I dunno). From what I read on the back cover it’s about God and science, so I checked it out of the library. I’ll probably start reading it tonight.

I actually read that book a few years ago. It didn’t really prove a watertight case for why everyone should absolutely believe in God (not that any book can)… but it did tell an interesting story of how Francis Collins, the head of the Human Genome project (which mapped the sequence of human DNA), went from atheism to Christianity, and presented a case for why belief is NOT in conflict with reason/scientific thought.

And, as a side note, most atheist-scientists are biologists (e.g. Richard Dawkins). The percent of atheists in other fields (e.g. physics, chemistry) are lower. My theory is that it all goes back to evolution… some Christians rejected it, so Christianity was seen by biologists as unscientific (which the evangelical Protestant view of creation is). But there’s no conflict with Catholicism, which doesn’t reject evolution. Just because some religions are irrational doesn’t mean all are.

 

[tgm21234]

THE HOUND OF HEAVEN IS AFTER YOU.
If you do someday becomea believer and a Catholic I believe that you (like St.Paul) will be on fire for the Lord.

 

[usemelord]

I, too, am a late contributor to this thread, but better late than never I suppose. An earlier contributor quoted G. K. Chesterton. Let me quote, rather paraphrase, something from C. S. Lewis who described an atheist’s search for God akin to a mouse searching for the cat. God is right there in front of everyone, only if they care to acknowledge and admit His existence. As a 65 yr. old geezer who will celebrate his fifth year as a Catholic convert next Easter, I can attest that becoming Catholic was by far the most significant event of my life. I constantly try to expand my scope of knowledge and understanding of the faith which includes inspirational conversion stories of others. I would encourage you to read Thomas Merton’s autobiography titled “The Seven Storey Mountain.” Not only is Merton an incredibly gifted writer, but he also wrestled with the same doubts and fears as you are experiencing right now. It’s a great read and will open up your mind in ways that you will only appreciate later. So, for now I pray for your openness to God’s calling and also pray that you will stay blessed.