I'm a convert , but there's something miss from my Protestant church

[lak611]

My suggestion would be to see if your priests will agree to start some time of Adoration. Even if it’s just a few hours a week. If you and your wife and even 1 or 2 other couples would agree to take an hour a week, Adoration can be available for your entire parish during that time. Your own relationship with God will benefit, but so will that of any other parishners who stop by and certainly the whole parish will benefit from your prayers.

My parish used to have Adoration. Nobody was interested. It was cancelled due to lack of participation. Other parishes are advertising available hours in my parish’s bulletin. It seems that it is hard to get people to commit their time in the area where I live.

 

[Sr_Sally]

Now having said all that, I realize that many will say “well, Church isn’t a social club” etc…but you asked if I missed that and yes I do miss the closeness. Our own parish can’t really accommodate coffee and hanging out after Church right now due to the parking lot issues. We will be breaking ground this spring for our Church, once we build it, I’m sure we will have more going on and I’ll be there serving coffee

This is something else that we don’t always take into consideration. The average protestant church has maybe a 1000 members, 2 services a morning with plenty of time for coffee and hanging out for the adults while the kids are in Sunday school.

On the other hand, the average Catholic parish has 1000 families with possible 4 Masses Sunday morning with just enough time in between for the parking to empty and then fill up again. Religious Ed classes are often held on weeknights. The culture just isn’t the same.

I also think that we shouldn’t expect every encounter with a fellow Catholic to be deep and meaningful, espcially as we get to know people. A casual get-together where the conversation includes sports, what the school board is up to, and the weather is not necessarily a bad thing. From these humble beginnings come the great friendships that support us.

I know from my days in a Lutheran church that while plenty of people were very serious about their faith, even the Bible studies lead by pastors could get off track with just neighborhood chat, and many a small group spent their hour together drinking coffee and talking about their kids.

Give your parish another chance. Invite a few folks over for a few apps and some chat and don’t expect everyone to want to be serious all the time.

 

[Jeanette_L]

Is this a timely topic or what? I’ve been thinking about this for a number of months. I converted a year and a half ago, but lately I’ve really begun to miss the fellowship I had in my ole Methodist church to the point I"m ready to “swim back”. The parish I’m at is fairly active, and I’ve joined the RCIA team and gone to some of the activities,since I don’t know anyone but as a single person, I’ve found none of the things are welcoming for us single folks. To go from a welcoming and inviting community to a community where few sing or make you feel part of the parish is really difficult. (And if you don’t have “support” in your Catholic faith, well, I can see why one would leave.)

Hi Cairisti!

You and I came into the Church at the same time I see, and I am in a similar situation as you, in that I am lonely as a Catholic. There’s just no way around that word or what’s behind it. And the only thing that keeps me sane is the fellowship I have found here with people who love Christ, love his Church and are not uncomfortable discussing it, sharing it and enjoying it and each other. It’s a darn shame we aren’t all living in the same community, I think we would have a fabulous parish! Of course, we’d still have the same trouble as most parishes with differences of opinions… … different temperaments… …etc., , but at least we could talk about our faith without feeling like we are making everyone around us uncomfortable. That’s what I really miss the most, the ability to freely share my joy in Christ daily with others without them looking at me like I just stepped off a space ship in Roswell with a tin foil hat.

But, you know what, I for one know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that God brought me home for a reason, it just hasn’t come to fruition yet, so I aim to be patient, pick up this darn cross of loneliness, log onto CAF and let the good times roll!

Hang in there friend. Come to the Clubhouse if you are lonely, it does a soul good!

 

[Sr_Sally]

My parish used to have Adoration. Nobody was interested. It was cancelled due to lack of participation. Other parishes are advertising available hours in my parish’s bulletin. It seems that it is hard to get people to commit their time in the area where I live.

That is sad. We have recently expanded our time from 1 day a week, to every day (daylight hours only). So far all slots except 2-3 each day are taken. I think that one hour is difficult because it is when many schools get out and kids are coming home, but office hours aren’t over yet.

I pray that your parish and those around you are able to get at least one day each week covered!

 

[maggieodae]

What kind of activities do you do? Are people excited about the faith outside the confines of the church?

God Bless,
Michael

Very excited. We have all kinds of activities,Picnic’s,bus trips to places of interest, outings of all types, as well as adult faith formation, and a very active program for just about every age group and need.

 

[Lady_Bug]

as someone interested in the Catholic faith, this is the one thing that worries me: the inability to form fellowship with other practicing Catholics and talk about the faith in depth with them, and simply make friends.

I have a nondenominational friend right now, and I don’t like to say this but I fear that I can’t stand her these days. I don’t like to spend time with her anymore because I think her goal is to bring me away from the Catholic Church. We have had debates on Once Saved Always Saved, Salvation by Faith/Works, etc. that not only have not gotten anywhere, but have left me feeling livid inside, even though I had kept my temper. She knows I’ve been interested in Catholicism, and she is doing her utmost to bring me to her nondenominational Bible studies and nondenominational church, claiming that she knows many Catholics who attend both the studies and the church she attends, etc. Shouldn’t those Catholics she talks about be going to a Catholic Church, unless it were absolutely necessary that they don’t?

All I want to is find some Catholic friends and be able to learn more about the faith from Catholic people, but if there is not enough fellowship, or if there is not enough knowledge of Catholicism among the laity, my journey to Catholicism is going to be so lonely that I fear that I will lose my motivation to stay on that journey to Catholicism.

Any helpful ideas? Thanks.

 

[guanophore]

Well, I’m not a convert, but there are converts who miss the fellowship they had in their former Protestant church and this deeply saddens them and makes them look at their Protestant past with nostalgia. They feel that the Catholics of their parish show little enthusiasm for Jesus and His Church and don’t go beyond memorized prayers and being physically present in church on Sunday. They miss the fellowship and the sense of family they had in their Protestant churches. Are there any converts here who feel this way? Are there any converts out there who do not have this experience?

As a Catholic, I also feel that good Christian fellowship is often lacking in many Catholic parishes. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only Catholic that takes my faith seriously and that deeply saddens me. Cradle Catholics, do you feel you have good fellowship with Catholics zealous for their faith in your parish?

Thanks and God Bless,
Michael

I agree, and that is one of the main reasons I left the Church. Had it not been for the Charismatic Renewal, I probably would still be sojourning in Protestant circles.

 

[guanophore]

But how do you develop interest for activities like bible studies, classes for evangelization, social gatherings that have a religious spirit, etc. when no one seems interested? They are just satisfied with going to church on Sundays and separate their social lives from their spirituality? What do you do when people are not interested in fellowship groups if it is religious in spirit and is alcohol free?

God Bless,
Michael

I do my fellowship outside my parish at prayer meetings and in various diocesan ministries.

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

…

All I want to is find some Catholic friends and be able to learn more about the faith from Catholic people, but if there is not enough fellowship, or if there is not enough knowledge of Catholicism among the laity, my journey to Catholicism is going to be so lonely that I fear that I will lose my motivation to stay on that journey to Catholicism.

Any helpful ideas? Thanks.

Oh God, please soothe my painful tears at what this beautiful person has said.

There is Catholic radio, Catholic reading, Catholic clergy, Catholic “internet”, to help, but face-to-face Catholic conversation is also very important. I’m sorely lacking in it, but that is only because I’m being very lazy right now in the face-to-face department because being new to my parish and new to the faith itself.

Just as with the martyrs of old (and new) our isolation mustn’t be corrosive of, but intensifying for, our faith.

That said, if anyone shows real interest in Catholic bible study and conversation within a parish their **WILL **be some number of people, certainly more than one, who will have the same craving!

God WILL provide! Just take any frustrations as your cross to bear valiantly and offer up to God, and miraculous things will happen! I’m more than certain.

 

[Lady_Bug]

Oh God, please soothe my painful tears at what this beautiful person has said.

There is Catholic radio, Catholic reading, Catholic clergy, Catholic “internet”, to help, but face-to-face Catholic conversation is also very important. I’m sorely lacking in it, but that is only because I’m being very lazy right now in the face-to-face department because being new to my parish and new to the faith itself.

Just as with the martyrs of old (and new) our isolation mustn’t be corrosive of, but intensifying for, our faith.

That said, if anyone shows real interest in Catholic bible study and conversation within a parish their **WILL **be some number of people, certainly more than one, who will have the same craving!

God WILL provide! Just take any frustrations as your cross to bear valiantly and offer up to God, and miraculous things will happen! I’m more than certain.

I can’t reply to everything you’ve said but thank you very much for your reply. It’s just things I am deeply concerned about. I did like however your remark that isolation should not corrode our faith but intensify it. I think we should always try to keep our faith strong even though some of the adherents around us seem like they are at a different spiritual level than we are. It’s a lot easier said than done, but I understand what you are saying.

I do not want to forsake attending the true church, for another church. I am discovering the fullness of Catholicism and I would not want to forsake this faith for another because of other circumstances that were less favorable (e.g. fellowship, friendship, etc.)

It’s so easy to fall away from faith sometimes, when the going gets tough.

 

[Jeanette_L]

as someone interested in the Catholic faith, this is the one thing that worries me: the inability to form fellowship with other practicing Catholics and talk about the faith in depth with them, and simply make friends.

I have a nondenominational friend right now, and I don’t like to say this but I fear that I can’t stand her these days. I don’t like to spend time with her anymore because I think her goal is to bring me away from the Catholic Church. We have had debates on Once Saved Always Saved, Salvation by Faith/Works, etc. that not only have not gotten anywhere, but have left me feeling livid inside, even though I had kept my temper. She knows I’ve been interested in Catholicism, and she is doing her utmost to bring me to her nondenominational Bible studies and nondenominational church, claiming that she knows many Catholics who attend both the studies and the church she attends, etc. Shouldn’t those Catholics she talks about be going to a Catholic Church, unless it were absolutely necessary that they don’t?

All I want to is find some Catholic friends and be able to learn more about the faith from Catholic people, but if there is not enough fellowship, or if there is not enough knowledge of Catholicism among the laity, my journey to Catholicism is going to be so lonely that I fear that I will lose my motivation to stay on that journey to Catholicism.

Any helpful ideas? Thanks.

LadyBug,

Can I ask you what has brought you this far in your consideration of the Catholic Church? Do you feel that God has been leading you here? What is it about the Catholic faith that has your interest? Have you been studying?

I’m asking these questions because your answers, your reasons for wanting to become Catholic may determine whether you can remain steadfast even through difficulties.

Coming to the Catholic faith must be foremost a decision based on your being convinced that it is TRUE. If you are in fact persuaded that the Catholic Church teaches and is what is TRUE, then you will have to make a decision about how important that is to you, regardless of whether it may be comfortable or not.

I don’t mean in anyway to make you think that other things aren’t important, but what is most important? For me, I knew that becoming Catholic was going to cost me something, and more than something, a great deal; but I also knew that having become convinced of the *truth *of the Catholic faith, I really had no choice, because the search for the truth was my only thought, my only drive for many years of searching and study. So, even though I had an idea of what might lie ahead, in the end, regardless, I really couldn’t turn back and undo what had been done, I couldn’t unlearn what I had learned and was convinced to be true.

So, what I can tell you is this, if God is the one who has drawn you here, know that you will never be happy until you discern what is His will for you and make a choice to follow it. Then ask him for the grace and peace to get you through, and he will.

God Bless and I will pray for you and your journey.

 

[Lady_Bug]

LadyBug,

Can I ask you what has brought you this far in your consideration of the Catholic Church? Do you feel that God has been leading you here? What is it about the Catholic faith that has your interest? Have you been studying?

I’m asking these questions because your answers, your reasons for wanting to become Catholic may determine whether you can remain steadfast even through difficulties.

Coming to the Catholic faith must be foremost a decision based on your being convinced that it is TRUE. If you are in fact persuaded that the Catholic Church teaches and is what is TRUE, then you will have to make a decision about how important that is to you, regardless of whether it may be comfortable or not.

I don’t mean in anyway to make you think that other things aren’t important, but what is most important? For me, I knew that becoming Catholic was going to cost me something, and more than something, a great deal; but I also knew that having become convinced of the *truth *of the Catholic faith, I really had no choice, because the search for the truth was my only thought, my only drive for many years of searching and study. So, even though I had an idea of what might lie ahead, in the end, regardless, I really couldn’t turn back and undo what had been done, I couldn’t unlearn what I had learned and was convinced to be true.

So, what I can tell you is this, if God is the one who has drawn you here, know that you will never be happy until you discern what is His will for you and make a choice to follow it. Then ask him for the grace and peace to get you through, and he will.

God Bless and I will pray for you and your journey.

Hi Jeanette,

I am so tired that I need to go to bed but in a nutshell (and I can address this in depth later - but after some sleep) my interest in the Catholic Church is based on my interest in the faith and the feeling that I have that it contains the fullness of the truth. The fact that it has all seven sacraments is of great meaning to me. I started to disbelieve things like OSAS, Faith Alone, Sola Scriptura, etc. and went one day to Scripture Catholic (website) that explains the Biblical Basis for many Catholic teachings and I was spellbound. Things like the Rock of Peter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Baptism that saves, the Eucharist, Penance, Anointing of the Sick, Purgatory, etc. became more interesting to me and I started to see Biblical bases for them. It’s hard to turn back from them somehow once you’ve started.

Actually my study of Orthodoxy led me to my study of Catholicism. I tried to find the differences between the 2. I have been studying a lot. I have been reading several Catholic websites and I am looking through 2 books right now (Catholicism for Dummies, and the Biblical Basis for the Catholic Faith by John Salza). I have been enjoying it alot. But it seems like it takes a REALLY long time to absorb all the information that is in Catholicism. It seems a lot deeper than non-Catholic Christianity, which makes me actually sad because I want to find people to talk to about this in person!

What is most important to me is that I be saved! And I would like to have the fullest means to salvation.

I have to go to bed now I am tired. I don’t know if I wrote everything alright, I am sleepy as I type this.

 

[Church_Militant]

This is one of those things that I have heard from some folks but never really had a problem with.

I have made quite a few friends in my parish and we always rejoice when we meet and I think they all know that if they need me, they have only to call.

“Fellowship”, as n-Cs generally practice it is not really something that I need or want. I mean, my wife and I meet and enjoy talking with a lot of different people at breakfast after Mass on Sundays and daily Mass, or at suppers at the church during the week, but I find that most of us are so busy that if we wanted such a fellowship that it would be a major scheduling pain. As a result we tend to just get it all together when we can and I’m fine with that.

Frankly, I have better fellowship with most of you here on CAF than I ever had in all my years as a non-Catholic. It just works better and I am better edified and learn more here with you guys.

Don’t get me wrong at all. I absolutely LOVE my parish and my priests, but I get a lot of very good fellowship here at CAF from guys like Mikeledes, djrakowski, FrankSV, Aimee, BrotherRholf (? never can spell that!) GeezerBob, Shoshona, Annunciata, Zooey, and a whole host of others too many to name.

Question: Is the “need” for that “fellowship” that carries over from n-C communities a strength or a weakness?

 

[Jeanette_L]

Hi Jeanette,

I am so tired that I need to go to bed but in a nutshell (and I can address this in depth later - but after some sleep) my interest in the Catholic Church is based on my interest in the faith and the feeling that I have that it contains the fullness of the truth. The fact that it has all seven sacraments is of great meaning to me. I started to disbelieve things like OSAS, Faith Alone, Sola Scriptura, etc. and went one day to Scripture Catholic (website) that explains the Biblical Basis for many Catholic teachings and I was spellbound. Things like the Rock of Peter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Baptism that saves, the Eucharist, Penance, Anointing of the Sick, Purgatory, etc. became more interesting to me and I started to see Biblical bases for them. It’s hard to turn back from them somehow once you’ve started.

Actually my study of Orthodoxy led me to my study of Catholicism. I tried to find the differences between the 2. I have been studying a lot. I have been reading several Catholic websites and I am looking through 2 books right now (Catholicism for Dummies, and the Biblical Basis for the Catholic Faith by John Salza). I have been enjoying it alot. But it seems like it takes a REALLY long time to absorb all the information that is in Catholicism. It seems a lot deeper than non-Catholic Christianity, which makes me actually sad because I want to find people to talk to about this in person!

What is most important to me is that I be saved! And I would like to have the fullest means to salvation.

I have to go to bed now I am tired. I don’t know if I wrote everything alright, I am sleepy as I type this.

You are on the right path. Don’t think you can learn everything at once, it will take the rest of your lifetime and you still won’t barely scratch the surface, and that’s OK! Enjoy the learning!

We live in a great time friend, we have these resources right at our fingertips, and we can communicate with others who share our love and desire for the faith, and although in a perfect world we would always have access to these people face to face, sometimes we can find comfort in even our online brothers and sisters who share the same journey.

Don’t lose hope, pray for strength and courage, it will come when you need it.

:hug1: God Bless LadyBug. Get some rest.

 

[Jeanette_L]

This is one of those things that I have heard from some folks but never really had a problem with.

I have made quite a few friends in my parish and we always rejoice when we meet and I think they all know that if they need me, they have only to call.

“Fellowship”, as n-Cs generally practice it is not really something that I need or want. I mean, my wife and I meet and enjoy talking with a lot of different people at breakfast after Mass on Sundays and daily Mass, or at suppers at the church during the week, but I find that most of us are so busy that if we wanted such a fellowship that it would be a major scheduling pain. As a result we tend to just get it all together when we can and I’m fine with that.

Frankly, I have better fellowship with most of you here on CAF than I ever had in all my years as a non-Catholic. It just works better and I am better edified and learn more here with you guys.

Don’t get me wrong at all. I absolutely LOVE my parish and my priests, but I get a lot of very good fellowship here at CAF from guys like Mikeledes, djrakowski, FrankSV, Aimee, BrotherRholf (? never can spell that!) GeezerBob, Shoshona, Annunciata, Zooey, and a whole host of others too many to name.

Question: Is the “need” for that “fellowship” that carries over from n-C communities a strength or a weakness?

Sometimes people use socialization as a way to fill empty space that possibly should be filled with other things, maybe just plain alone time with God.

We do though need contact with like minded, like hearted people, it’s hardwired into us, we were created to be in community, but sometimes too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, I get what you’re saying.

So, it’s all about balance. Sometimes we can’t find that balance, where there is a lack of fellow Catholics who have that same enthusiasm for Christ. But we just have to keep on searching and fill in those areas as best we can, like you and I and thousands of others do here.

God Bless Church Militant!

 

[katy]

I came from a non-religious family and could really use some moral support for being Catholic. I did not find it for years, and eventually drifted back into a local megachurch that is big on programs and hospitality. I still have friends there, but when I watched JPII’s funeral, I realized that I am Catholic and that’s it. I got up my nerve went to Confession, and found a small downtown parish that has both the OF and EF masses. The pastors make a big effort to make the parish a whole community. I also find a great community here on CAF. With internet folks to talk to, I don’t feel like such a freak for being Catholic and taking it seriously. I am hoping that Catholic churches would take just a bit of a page from our Protestant brothers and sisters to make others feel at home.

 

[Jennifer123]

The problem is how does fellowhip go beyond Adoration, a bible study, a rosary? In other words, outside the confines of a church? Why can’t so many Catholics discuss spiritual issues while having coffee at a Starbucks? Or while sitting in a bench in a park? Why does it seem that Christian fellowhip ends once Mass or the Rosary is over?

God bless,
Michael

I think you may be being a bit presumptious here, with all due respect. Not to say there isn’t any merit in what you are feeling, it is definately a problem, but I think time will lead to perspective, and I say this with a bit of experience.

I too was disheartened for quite some time with what I felt was lukewarmness among the Catholics I knew after my conversion. But I have realized there really is a difference between Catholic and Protestant expressions of faith and that the reserved nature of the Catholic spirituality I perceived to be lukewarmness just wasn’t so in every instance and who was I to judge the heart of men?

I am still saddened at times by the lack of knowledge by Catholics of their own faith, but let’s look at the times we live and be a little more critical of our Protestant bretheren who, while having a great time at worship service, really can lack a sense of the sacred? Who are truly confused about important moral and ethical concerns because of the lack of authority? Who need to be entertained at worship and believe they are there to get something out of service, to make themselves feel good rather than worship of God?

We just can’t judge all the time and to suggest that these same problems don’t exist in the Protestant churches is a little naive IMHO. Not to say we don’t have a huge share of problems, you are correct there. But the laborers are always few unfortunately.

 

[Jennifer123]

but I find that most of us are so busy that if we wanted such a fellowship that it would be a major scheduling pain.

I too wonder about this - my in-laws attend a huge Evangelical church with many, many wonderful programs, women’s and men’s groups, youth groups, small faith communities, but I wonder about the family lives of the people who attend all these events? It seems to me that my nephew and niece are constantly being watched by the grandparents because the parents are always attending one event or another.

And for all the grief I got for “believing I could work my way into Heaven” (their belief of Catholic theology) they sure are super busy doing God’s work. Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful and I could certainly take a cue now and then to do more, but at what cost? Sometimes I think that they don’t understand the importance of a balanced family life as a vocation, and I thank the Catholic Church for teaching me that in my own family.

I don’t know, as judgemental as it sounds, these are the thoughts that go through my head and I do try to be a impartial as possible in thinking about it.

 

[lak611]

I do my fellowship outside my parish at prayer meetings and in various diocesan ministries.

My parish volunteers at an ecumenical mission meal for the poor that is held at a Methodist parish. There are volunteers from my parish (Catholic), a Lutheran parish, and a Presbyterian parish that help the Methodist parish. I found out about this from the leader of the Bible study at my parish. I made friends and have fellowship opportunities because I joined the Bible study. Many of the same people volunteer at the mission meal and are also on the Evangelization Committee, of which I am also a member.

The Bible study got the whole thing rolling for me. Then I found out about the other groups and joined them. I have made many friends in my parish and in the Protestant parishes through my volunteer work.

 

[djrakowski]

You and I came into the Church at the same time I see, and I am in a similar situation as you, in that I am lonely as a Catholic. There’s just no way around that word or what’s behind it.
…
That’s what I really miss the most, the ability to freely share my joy in Christ daily with others without them looking at me like I just stepped off a space ship in Roswell with a tin foil hat.

:yup: And I feel the same way, even though I’m in a highly traditional parish in which people actively practice the faith. They just don’t seem to want to talk about it much. I miss the sense that I had in my old church, where I was surrounded by people who both wanted support in living a Christian life, and were also willing to lend support when needed. The people of our parish, as wonderful as they are, seem to see the practice of religion as an individual thing, no support needed from anyone else. And it’s getting lonely.

Frankly, I have better fellowship with most of you here on CAF than I ever had in all my years as a non-Catholic. It just works better and I am better edified and learn more here with you guys.
…
Question: Is the “need” for that “fellowship” that carries over from n-C communities a strength or a weakness?

Appreciate your comments, bro. But as good as you’ve been through my conversion and subsequent struggles, you don’t fill the void of having someone I can call and sit down over a coffee to discuss the challenges of raising a Christian family, or living as a Christian in the workplace. As fond as I am of the folks at CA Forums (particularly you, mikeledes, anamchara, Jeanette L and MariaG), you can never replace ‘real’ people.

Please explain, too, how the need for fellowship is a weakness. I thought we were supposed to live together in close-knit Christian communities and share each others’ burdens.

I too wonder about this - my in-laws attend a huge Evangelical church with many, many wonderful programs, women’s and men’s groups, youth groups, small faith communities, but I wonder about the family lives of the people who attend all these events? It seems to me that my nephew and niece are constantly being watched by the grandparents because the parents are always attending one event or another.

We were part of such a large, dynamic church, and I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our friends has wonderful family lives, and children were nearly always included in any scheduled event. It’s hardly fair to generalize from the negative impression you have of your in-laws and their church to the entire evangelical Protestant population.

And for all the grief I got for “believing I could work my way into Heaven” (their belief of Catholic theology) they sure are super busy doing God’s work. Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful and I could certainly take a cue now and then to do more, but at what cost? Sometimes I think that they don’t understand the importance of a balanced family life as a vocation, and I thank the Catholic Church for teaching me that in my own family.

These folks aren’t working their way into heaven. They serve and join together in this manner because they LOVE being around the people of God, love learning more about Him and growing in sanctity. On the whole, they’re not trying to show off to their friends, but are genuinely inclined toward sharing a common Christian experience.

And further, they most certainly DO understand a balanced life and the idea of vocation, at least if they have a decent pastor.