I'm a convert , but there's something miss from my Protestant church

[lak611]

Since the OP is talking about informal relationships outside of church, I’m not sure there is anything specific we can do other than smile at people and invite our fellow parishners over for dinner occasionally.

If the issue is really having more coffee hours after Mass or potluck dinners, than I guess we fired up cradles, converts, and reverts should organize them!

My parish has fish frys on every Friday in Lent except Good Friday. People from the parish volunteer to cook and serve the meals, and they are advertised with a big flashing sign on the front lawn of the church. We get lots of people from the parish and the neighbourhood in general, even those not in the parish. I have always enjoyed going to those. I always run into somebody I know from church and sit with them. They usually introduce me to other people they know. Perhaps something like that would work for some of your parishes. It is a great fundraiser, very much a Catholic cultural thing, and a great fellowship opportunity too!

 

[jmcrae]

I heard a phrase this past weekend - “significant conversations” - and I think this is what converts and reverts are looking for.

It’s not the coffee, as such, nor the camping trips, as such - it’s the opportunity to sit down (or stand around) in a casual atmosphere, without a deadline, and have significant conversations with other people, because this is an essential tool (from our point of view) in our toolbox of learning the faith.

It’s great to go to Mass and listen to homilies, and it’s great to go to retreats and hear lectures, and of course it is wonderful to experience the Sacraments, but without a family at home to talk to, because they don’t share our Catholic faith with us, where does a convert or revert go to react to that? How does one have a conversation about it, where I can say what I think, and you can tell me what you think? How do I have my “mystagogia,” where I can “unpack the meaning” of what we have just experienced at Mass or at a retreat, or while experiencing one of the other Sacraments?

This, I think, is what those of us who don’t have a Catholic culture at home are looking for. I can’t talk to my parents or my husband about my questions - they’re not Catholic. They don’t know, and they don’t care.

So, I think the real question here is, where in the Catholic Church does one go, to have “significant conversations” about the Catholic faith?

 

[djrakowski]

I heard a phrase this past weekend - “significant conversations” - and I think this is what converts and reverts are looking for.
…
So, I think the real question here is, where in the Catholic Church does one go, to have “significant conversations” about the Catholic faith?

YEAH! This is the first post that’s nailed exactly what I’ve been thinking, but haven’t been able to put into words.

And I’m not talking about significant conversations about liturgy, or which priest/bishop/apologist is your favorite. I want to get together with folks who are interested in applying Catholic Christianity to situations that arise in daily life.

 

[jmcrae]

YEAH! This is the first post that’s nailed exactly what I’ve been thinking, but haven’t been able to put into words.

And I’m not talking about significant conversations about liturgy, or which priest/bishop/apologist is your favorite. I want to get together with folks who are interested in applying Catholic Christianity to situations that arise in daily life.

YES, I agree completely. We need to be able to have these kinds of conversations. Camping trips, coffee times, and social groups are just a way of creating an environment where these conversations can take place freely and without deadlines.

 

[katy]

YEAH! This is the first post that’s nailed exactly what I’ve been thinking, but haven’t been able to put into words.

And I’m not talking about significant conversations about liturgy, or which priest/bishop/apologist is your favorite. I want to get together with folks who are interested in applying Catholic Christianity to situations that arise in daily life.

Well put!!

 

[TOP]

YES, I agree completely. We need to be able to have these kinds of conversations. Camping trips, coffee times, and social groups are just a way of creating an environment where these conversations can take place freely and without deadlines.

As a “cradle” Catholic, the faith is part of my family life. Besides the talks we have in our family of 6, I talk to my sister by phone about the faith and she always tells me how my godchild is doing in CCD. I take being a godparent seriously and will let my sister know it if she skips Mass or something. I’m 37 and she is 7 years my elder, so we aren’t kids anymore. Then there is my wifes side of the family who is Byzantine. I often talk about our Roman Rite to my bil who is godfather to one of my kids. I tell him how tradition is coming back and how it will seem more similiar to his liturgy as he wasn’t used to our Mass when his family has come with us. I guess this is something that converts don’t have and I am content with. I don’t feel this need for fellowship, but would invite other trusted Catholics as part of my family. The key is to gain my trust though and so far I have only found fair weather friends at church, not the family I can count on at home. Tim

 

[jmcrae]

As a “cradle” Catholic, the faith is part of my family life. Besides the talks we have in our family of 6, I talk to my sister by phone about the faith and she always tells me how my godchild is doing in CCD. I take being a godparent seriously and will let my sister know it if she skips Mass or something. I’m 37 and she is 7 years my elder, so we aren’t kids anymore. Then there is my wifes side of the family who is Byzantine. I often talk about our Roman Rite to my bil who is godfather to one of my kids. I tell him how tradition is coming back and how it will seem more similiar to his liturgy as he wasn’t used to our Mass when his family has come with us. I guess this is something that converts don’t have and I am content with. I don’t feel this need for fellowship, but would invite other trusted Catholics as part of my family. The key is to gain my trust though and so far I have only found fair weather friends at church, not the family I can count on at home. Tim

Great for you!!

We converts don’t have families who share our faith. Indeed, in many cases, they are outright opposed to us being Catholic, so there is no possibility of having a significant conversation with any family member.

Where can we go for this kind of support?

 

[Jeanette_L]

I heard a phrase this past weekend - “significant conversations” - and I think this is what converts and reverts are looking for.

It’s not the coffee, as such, nor the camping trips, as such - it’s the opportunity to sit down (or stand around) in a casual atmosphere, without a deadline, and have significant conversations with other people, because this is an essential tool (from our point of view) in our toolbox of learning the faith.

It’s great to go to Mass and listen to homilies, and it’s great to go to retreats and hear lectures, and of course it is wonderful to experience the Sacraments, but without a family at home to talk to, because they don’t share our Catholic faith with us, where does a convert or revert go to react to that? How does one have a conversation about it, where I can say what I think, and you can tell me what you think? How do I have my “mystagogia,” where I can “unpack the meaning” of what we have just experienced at Mass or at a retreat, or while experiencing one of the other Sacraments?

This, I think, is what those of us who don’t have a Catholic culture at home are looking for. I can’t talk to my parents or my husband about my questions - they’re not Catholic. They don’t know, and they don’t care.

So, I think the real question here is, where in the Catholic Church does one go, to have “significant conversations” about the Catholic faith?

I love your post and I just want to add a thought.

Sometimes what people perceive as “new convert fire” puzzles me, because I don’t see this fire as being only for those who are new.

What we are talking about is a deep hunger for God and everything Godly, and this is not something that should ever fade or settle, but only grow in intensity as we grow in holiness.

And what we are discussing here, is a longing to find companionship among like “minded” catholics who understand this and share it and want to help each other along the way.

This is not emotional, this is a deep spiritual hunger that will only be completely fulfilled when we see our Beloved face to face. But until then, we want to nurture this and share it and spread it, it is what we are called to do as Christians.

It is this void that we are lamenting. But I don’t think this is forever, I have hope that if it is our desire, we will find each other, beyond the internet, of course.

 

[kage_ar]

Great for you!!

We converts don’t have families who share our faith. Indeed, in many cases, they are outright opposed to us being Catholic, so there is no possibility of having a significant conversation with any family member.

Where can we go for this kind of support?

Convert here - these “significant conversations” for me just happen - after RCIA class - around the table at a restaurant after Mass “hey, want to go get some lunch?” - in the parking lot when leaving CCD - in a phone call when planning a youth group activity - they all stem from interacting with fellow Catholics.

If you want more conversation with fellow Catholics, then, spend more time around Catholics.

 

[Sr_Sally]

Where can we go for this kind of support?

That’s the million dollar question. It is going to vary by person. I recommend first checking out the various options available in your parish–Legion of Mary, KofC, etc. Chat about it with your priest, RCIA director, DRE, etc. See what neighboring parishes and your diocese offer.

I think the end result is that we are all looking for a few friends who we can have those ‘significant conversations’ with. That type of relationship does not spring up overnight, so you may have to attend several different meetings and get to know a range of people before you find that friendship that clicks.

As a revert, I still have my family to talk things over with. I do also continue to met and discuss things with my protestant friends. Not all discussions at that level need to be Catholic specific–often the support we need is from other Christians against a very pagan world!

I will continue to pray for all of you searching for this support.

 

[jmcrae]

Convert here - these “significant conversations” for me just happen - after RCIA class - around the table at a restaurant after Mass “hey, want to go get some lunch?” - in the parking lot when leaving CCD - in a phone call when planning a youth group activity - they all stem from interacting with fellow Catholics.

If you want more conversation with fellow Catholics, then, spend more time around Catholics.

That’s good advice, but not easy to follow in a lot of parishes. We are hearing from people who aren’t meeting Catholics in the parking lot or after a parish event - the other people in their parish run to their cars and drive away without stopping to chat, because they have to clear the parking lot for the next Mass or the next event.

How do these people begin create a culture in their parish where stopping to chat in the parking lot or going for lunch after Mass is seen as a normal thing to do?

 

[mikeledes]

YEAH! This is the first post that’s nailed exactly what I’ve been thinking, but haven’t been able to put into words.

And I’m not talking about significant conversations about liturgy, or which priest/bishop/apologist is your favorite. I want to get together with folks who are interested in applying Catholic Christianity to situations that arise in daily life.

:extrahappy: Eureeka!!!

God bless,
Michael

 

[mikeledes]

I love your post and I just want to add a thought.

Sometimes what people perceive as “new convert fire” puzzles me, because I don’t see this fire as being only for those who are new.

What we are talking about is a deep hunger for God and everything Godly, and this is not something that should ever fade or settle, but only grow in intensity as we grow in holiness.

And what we are discussing here, is a longing to find companionship among like “minded” catholics who understand this and share it and want to help each other along the way.

This is not emotional, this is a deep spiritual hunger that will only be completely fulfilled when we see our Beloved face to face. But until then, we want to nurture this and share it and spread it, it is what we are called to do as Christians.

It is this void that we are lamenting. But I don’t think this is forever, I have hope that if it is our desire, we will find each other, beyond the internet, of course.

God Bless,
Michael

 

[mikeledes]

We listened to you and we’ve found our voice! :tissues:

 

[djrakowski]

Convert here - these “significant conversations” for me just happen - after RCIA class - around the table at a restaurant after Mass “hey, want to go get some lunch?” - in the parking lot when leaving CCD - in a phone call when planning a youth group activity - they all stem from interacting with fellow Catholics.

If you want more conversation with fellow Catholics, then, spend more time around Catholics.

I spend tons of time with other Catholics, who are quite content to talk about anything but religion (well, unless they’re griping about the intersection of politics and religion on hot-button issues, or complaining about how the bishop spends the money collected in our diocesan appeal, or the lax commitment to orthodoxy of other parishes in our town). I’m in choir, we’ve formed a special-needs catechism class, I teach apologetics, and my wife helps out with the kid’s club, and I’ve still not found a way to connect with my fellow Catholics.

As soon as my wife and I start talking about serious religious topics - the ways in which we incorporate spirituality into our personal lives, for example - the conversations stop immediately. I recently brought this up to a rather wise priest-friend, and he suggested that lots of the Catholics he’s met over the years are content to hide behind the formality of the liturgy and written prayers as a way to avoid making real, intimate contact with Our Lord. I have no way of knowing how true that is, but outwardly, it certainly matches my experience.

 

[kage_ar]

That’s good advice, but not easy to follow in a lot of parishes. We are hearing from people who aren’t meeting Catholics in the parking lot or after a parish event - the other people in their parish run to their cars and drive away without stopping to chat, because they have to clear the parking lot for the next Mass or the next event.

How do these people begin create a culture in their parish where stopping to chat in the parking lot or going for lunch after Mass is seen as a normal thing to do?

You join in - when I moved here, for years I felt left out, I’d go to donuts after Mass and no one would talk to me. I could have written any of these posts above.

Thing is, I’d not made any effort to really be part of the FAMILY.

So, one day I walked up to the DRE and said “whatever you have that needs to be done, I would like to volunteer”.

From there, one thing led to another. Now DH, DS and I are all involved with various things, our non-Parish friends call and ask if we have fallen off the earth

I’ve yet to see the Parish that did not need hands. When you volunteer, you get to know so many people.

 

[Lynn-D]

Well, I’m not a convert, but there are converts who miss the fellowship they had in their former Protestant church and this deeply saddens them and makes them look at their Protestant past with nostalgia. They feel that the Catholics of their parish show little enthusiasm for Jesus and His Church and don’t go beyond memorized prayers and being physically present in church on Sunday. They miss the fellowship and the sense of family they had in their Protestant churches. Are there any converts here who feel this way? Are there any converts out there who do not have this experience?

As a Catholic, I also feel that good Christian fellowship is often lacking in many Catholic parishes. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only Catholic that takes my faith seriously and that deeply saddens me. Cradle Catholics, do you feel you have good fellowship with Catholics zealous for their faith in your parish?

Thanks and God Bless,
Michael

I am a cradle Catholic and even went to Catholic School. I do know that the warmest feeling I get is when receiving communion. It links me with Christ in a way that nothing else might.

That said, our church is very sociable and I give credit for that to our priest who is very outgoing and never fails to meet and talk with the parishioners as they exit mass or at any time they might need his (name removed by moderator)ut or advice. Maybe that too is why we are currently building a new church to accomodate our overflowing parish members.

I have never felt alone in church. Usually get there early and always find others to talk with and just gab about almost anything in our lives. I do know that when I am walking down the aisle to receive communion I meet others who are smiling in greeting. It is the over all warmth of my church that beckons me and it shows on my face as welI I must suppose.

An added reward is young children who might wander from their parents who are receiving communion and seeing another parishioner take the child’s hand and wait for the parent to come back from the altar. That alone brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face as well as many others. That is true fellowship is it not?

I think the warmth one receives is usually reflected by the warmth one portrays to others. May you be blessed in your search which I know will be forthcoming.

God Bless,
Lynn-D

 

[Lynn-D]

I am a cradle Catholic and even went to Catholic School. I do know that the warmest feeling I get is when receiving communion. It links me with Christ in a way that nothing else might.

That said, our church is very sociable and I give credit for that to our priest who is very outgoing and never fails to meet and talk with the parishioners as they exit mass or at any time they might need his (name removed by moderator)ut or advice. Maybe that too is why we are currently building a new church to accomodate our overflowing parish members.

I have never felt alone in church. Usually get there early and always find others to talk with and just gab about almost anything in our lives. I do know that when I am walking down the aisle to receive communion I meet others who are smiling in greeting. It is the over all warmth of my church that beckons me and it shows on my face as welI I must suppose.

An added reward is young children who might wander from their parents who are receiving communion and seeing another parishioner take the child’s hand and wait for the parent to come back from the altar. That alone brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face as well as many others. That is true fellowship is it not?

I think the warmth one receives is usually reflected by the warmth one portrays to others. May you be blessed in your search which I know will be forthcoming.

God Bless,
Lynn-D

 

[Lynn-D]

I am a cradle Catholic and even went to Catholic School. I do know that the warmest feeling I get is when receiving communion. It links me with Christ in a way that nothing else might.

That said, our church is very sociable and I give credit for that to our priest who is very outgoing and never fails to meet and talk with the parishioners as they exit mass or at any time they might need his (name removed by moderator)ut or advice. Maybe that too is why we are currently building a new church to accomodate our overflowing parish members.

I have never felt alone in church. Usually get there early and always find others to talk with and just gab about almost anything in our lives. I do know that when I am walking down the aisle to receive communion I meet others who are smiling in greeting. It is the over all warmth of my church that beckons me and it shows on my face as welI I must suppose.

An added reward is young children who might wander from their parents who are receiving communion and seeing another parishioner take the child’s hand and wait for the parent to come back from the altar. That alone brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face as well as many others. That is true fellowship is it not?

I think the warmth one receives is usually reflected by the warmth one portrays to others. May you be blessed in your search which I know will be forthcoming.

God Bless,
Lynn-D

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[Cairisti]

I heard a phrase this past weekend - “significant conversations” - and I think this is what converts and reverts are looking for.

So, I think the real question here is, where in the Catholic Church does one go, to have “significant conversations” about the Catholic faith?

You hit the nail on the head! Those of us who don’t have family or close friends that are Catholic have a difficult time of it. It’s nice if someone has family or friends that are supportive, but when you are on your own, it’s hard.