I'm a fallen away Catholic mom, please help!

[vocatio]

Holy Spirit.:heaven:
I really love that snuggly looking emoticon. That candle is still burning by the way. It should last about 2 or 3 more days. I’m glad to see my words inspire someone other than our cats and dog. I love our prayer corner. I’ve posted it CAF somewhere before. It’s where our laptop is located right now. My wife really went overboard, but I love it. I told her I wanted to create a prayer corner again to pray, meditate and light candles and incense. She took it a ran with it. She put a large incensor on a chain like at church, a huge crucifix from the Holy Land, Sacred Heart of Jesus, Immaculate Heart of Mary, our 3 children’s Saint Statues [St. Francis, St. Anthony and St. Terese the Little Flower], Veronica’s Vale, Marian Art and of course the Divine Mercy picture all with our priests nested in a corner to remember to pray for them. Having been drawn to the priesthood in my early years I know what it’s like to walk that path that can feel so lonely. They sacrifice so much for us and they have helped my wife overcome her greatest fears giving her confidence like I’ve never seen in her before.

I believe all of us enter that “dark place” once in a while. Many Saints spent much of their time in that state. Satan loves to temp those that get close to God. The closer we get to God the harder he works against us. Why? Because he hates God’s precious children/creatures that he held in such high esteem that he sent His only begotten Son so that we might have everlasting life. Okay, I’m getting that Preach’n feeling again.

We’re Catholic and our entire view of God has been transformed to Catholic. My wife’s the one that made our house look like a monastery. But her friends believe it was me because I’m the former Catholic seminarian. She started finding garden statues at Ross’ and Wal-Mart and they’re actually very beautiful. I restored a very large rosary that I carved for my father in high school the year before entered a Benedictine seminary. We also found a poster at one of the craft stores and framed it. It’s the “Prodigal Son” painting by Rembrant…the one on Journey Home. It has a much deeper meaning for me having fallen away from my Catholic faith and returned with a much deeper and historical understanding.

Always offer up even your dark moments for someone special in your life that is either living or passed on. Offer up your sufferings for the least unknown soul in purgatory or your husband and children or their future spouses. It’s little acts of love like this that help us to become more like Christ. We join in with Christ’s suffering.

…Here’s another idea. Christians are suffering tremendously in the Holy Land. Find a source where you can purchase sacramentals made from that part of the world to help the persecuted Christians in the Holy Land. Our parish has been doing this for a few months now. Those particular Christians are typically Orhtodox or Eastern Catholics.

I’m working towards the diaconate now. So pray for my vocation to the diaconate and especially for my son’s vocation to the priesthood. My wife is devoted to praying for 10 special priests that have impacted our lives. This is a very good devotion. Find a special priest you like and start praying for him. Find his birthday and ordination dates and send him small gifts if you can. This brings so much joy to my wife that I can never tell her no. She loves giving our priests gifts and praying for them because of the obvioius sacrifices that they have made for the Body of Christ.

I’m praying for you…offering up the Liturgy of the Hours for your intentions and the discomfort that I experience from past injuries from military injuries. Don’t worry, there is much pain to go around . I never forget my wife:thumbsup: she’s my sweetheart. Tell your husband about E-5 Men - named for Ephesians Chapter 5. "a man should love his wife like Christ loves the Church. www.e5men.org

Becoming Catholic again has given me so much more purpose with all of this pain, physical and mental as well. I’ve suffered from things I’ve spoken about on here but find myself not feeling the need to speak of it anymore unless it fits the subject. Trust me, if I could get rid of the pain I would. But since I’m stuck with it I see it as a blessing so that I too can join in with Christ’s suffering. God must think you’re special to have entrusted you with so much suffering. When we stop fighting it the burden of it becomes lighter. I ran from it for many years trying to shake it but it just seems to catch up with me.

Hope you’re feeling better.

PAX.
Vocatio…Latin for Vocation in case you wondered.

 

[GraceDK]

I saw the thread about people who experience pain due to fallen away Catholics in their lives, and I’m here to seek help because I am one of those who has fallen away and it’s hurting my family.

I used to visit these forums nearly daily, but stopped because I felt that my view of Catholicism was changing for the worse. So many questions, threads, and responses that I would read here began to make me feel that there was no way I could ever be a good Catholic. I decided to step away from here and see if that went away. It did not.

I converted 5 years ago, shortly before I married my husband who was raised Catholic. I was so adamantly against the Catholic Church until I learned enough about it. Then I studied it voraciously and decided to convert. The main thing that started the domino effect of my movement towards the church was her stance on contraception.

Ironically, living this out in my own marriage was what began to unravel my faith. The coldness that grew between my husband and I in the bedroom made me question the logic and reason of the ban on contraception. Then I began to despise confession nearly every week because of intimacies between us that were mortal sins. I couldn’t stand confessing something that I feel isn’t a mortal sin.

So over the last year or so, I’ve began avoiding mass altogether. I don’t believe that it’s because I don’t truly “know” the faith, and it wasn’t the lack of a relationship with Christ. I’ve been a Christian my entire life and tried to keep to God’s word as best I could.

I feel so lost now, giving up the simplicity of my Christianity I had before I entered the church. Now it seems SOOOOO complicated and impossible. Impossible to please God. Impossible to stay out of mortal sin for more than days at a time. Impossible to truly believe I WILL go to heaven. I’m just so heartbroken and frustrated…and isolated.

I wish there was something to snap me out of this. I have read the usual recommended books, I admit my prayer life is lacking though. I never “converted” to catholic prayers like the rosary and the memorized prayers, although I felt like I was supposed to. I feel so out of touch with God that it’s hard to talk to him. I don’t know what he expects of me, if I’ve let him down more by entering the church or by not attending mass. I’m so confused.

If you’ve made it this far, bless your heart for reading. This hasn’t been spoken out loud or otherwise except for here. I need to give my confusion a voice, to acknowledge it and begin to move out of it. Any help, especially encouragement and prayers, will be deeply appreciated.

Kittery…dear sister in Jesus.
I am a convert to Catholicism too. A few years since I converted from Lutheranism.
You don’t need to be Catholic in order to follow the rules of contraception and find them compatible with your conscience. I understand you quite well since I have had some of the issues you metion, myself. I have felt the lack of peace…
The simplicity that the Gospels seem to pass on… and also the preaching of some really wonderful preachers, made me think that Catholicism sometimes misses the mark in practice… not in theory perhaps, but in the lives of people… Like its a repetition of rabbinical Judaism where halacha is made upon halacha… rule upon rule, as Jesus criticised in His time as the religious leaders of his day made people trice as sinful by adding more and more precepts… Its a real problem for us when we stop acting out our faith out of love of Christ and people.
Religious behaviour that does not have LOVE of God and man as its root is abominable and alienating. People can live in religious behaviour for a long time lacking the spirit but acting out of fear or pride… We all are at times in the danger zone… Its a real problem in religions like Catholicism, Judaism and Islam because these belief systems tend to take a firm grip on all aspects of life… it becomes a way of life in everything you do…and if this way seems irrational it starts to feel cribbling and causes so much worry. There is either freedom in the truth or there is nothing. And the truth here I mean as you perceive it. Going against or not understanding it… only feeling caught between two nails brings a feeling of slavery.
But Kittery… you KNOW CHRIST. You know HE wants you as you are… so come to HIM.
There will probably never be and has never been a perfect believer. We act in accordance with our conscience and will always do. If all you accept in Catholicism is contraceptive rules and you miss your former church then I would advice you to go back to that church and flower in your faith there among people you agree with and where you can be at peace while you walk with God. Many might feel offended at this advice but I will say, better a good Christian in a baptist, pentecostal or non-denominational church than a rebel-heart-broken person who is distancing herself from Christ in the Catholic Church. If you are not catholic, you simply are not. If you are, you are. Choice your self… and be at peace.
I am Catholic because I agree with all the teachings that are most important… which to me is not the immaculate conception but the teachings of the Gospels, the Church as the channel of preaching the Gospel and giving us the Sacraments. Because of the Eucharist I became Catholic. I have experienced life transforming miracles through the blessed sacraments, both Communion and Confession . Going to Evangelical churches often, which I do with joy, is a great blessing and encouragement… but I will not leave the RCC.
I hope you find peace… become all that you can be. There is a lot of saints in every part of the Body. Stay close to Jesus… He loves you unconditionally… He has no favourites… we all fall short repeatedly when it comes to understanding, so you are not alone.

Grace:hug1:

 

[Lexi_09]

I am in the same boat as you! I feel totally distant from the faith. I was origianlly a protestant but converted as a teen to be a Catholic. The one piece of advice I didn’t read here is open your Bible. Read God’s love letters! It has really helped me!

**I have noticed many Catholics can’t even open up the word of God to help them. This is one book we ALL should be reading! **

I pray without ceasing, all day long. I have bought a book called “Meat and potatoes Catholiscism”. I did because the priest who worte it, Fr. Claussen, makes it even easier to understand what the faith is about. I am learning all over again! I think after falling away for so long I needed to know why there is so much to the Catholic Faith. And it is an easy read book and very fun to read! I pray to Jesus all the time. I haven’t turned to our blessed Mother because I am still trying to figure out why we just can’t pray to Jesus instead. That is where my problem is. But just keep trusting in God. He loves you so much!!! And is waiting for you to surrender yourself to Him. He will take care of the rest! I will say a prayer for you! God Bless!

 

[KCtheMommy]

I am in the same boat as you! I feel totally distant from the faith. I was origianlly a protestant but converted as a teen to be a Catholic. The one piece of advice I didn’t read here is open your Bible. Read God’s love letters! It has really helped me!

**I have noticed many Catholics can’t even open up the word of God to help them. This is one book we ALL should be reading! **

I pray without ceasing, all day long. I have bought a book called “Meat and potatoes Catholiscism”. I did because the priest who worte it, Fr. Claussen, makes it even easier to understand what the faith is about. I am learning all over again! I think after falling away for so long I needed to know why there is so much to the Catholic Faith. And it is an easy read book and very fun to read! I pray to Jesus all the time. I haven’t turned to our blessed Mother because I am still trying to figure out why we just can’t pray to Jesus instead. That is where my problem is. But just keep trusting in God. He loves you so much!!! And is waiting for you to surrender yourself to Him. He will take care of the rest! I will say a prayer for you! God Bless!

Well, you can talk to both Jesus and Mary.

She loves you whether you talk to her or not.

God Bless!